The Debt (19 page)

“You’ll do no such thing.” I tugged the sweatshirt over her head and pulled her forward. She arched her back, shoving her tit in my mouth.

Hadley writhed in my lap, grinding her hot cunt over my erection. With my right hand around her hips, I encouraged her movements. My teeth scraped the tight peak of her nipple. Her hands went to my hair, tugging and holding me there. I tended to the other breast, flicking my tongue piercing across the sensitive tip.

“Damn it, Josh.”

Her hands dropped to my jeans, ripping at the buttons until each one popped open. Punky’s greedy fingers found my dick and pulled it free. I thrust into her hand, then pushed Hadley back until her feet met the floor.

“Off,” I said as I snapped the elastic band of her shorts with one finger.

With my left hand, I stroked my cock, appreciating the view of her half naked in front of me. Teasing me, she slipped her shorts and underwear to the floor in a slow, deliberate movement.

“Come here,” I said, and tugged her to straddle me.

Hadley grabbed the back of my neck with one hand, the other fisting my cock to guide me in. I groaned and pressed my forehead to hers as she sank down, my dick prying open her tight channel. Cradling her ass in my lap with my broken hand, I moved my left between us to rub circles over her clit. Hips working back and forth, she didn’t lift one inch, just sliding her ass across my thighs with me burrowed deep inside her.

I found her lips, kissing her hard.
I love you,
they said.
I worship you. You fucking own me and please don’t ever take this away from me.

Hadley’s forehead fell to my shoulder and she held on. Muffled noises of anticipation were concealed behind her clenched teeth and clasped lips.

“Hang on to me,” I said.

Hadley’s arms closed around the back of my neck. Hoisting us up from the chair, I took two strides and pressed her back against a pillar. Bracing her there, I swept both her legs over my arms. With more freedom to move in this position, I slammed into her. Again and again our bodies collided in a speedy rhythm. Her muscles tensed. I felt her snug hole clench around my cock.

“That’s it, sweetheart.”

A tiny scream burst from her lips. The sound lasted only a split second before her teeth clamped down on my shoulder, silencing her announcement of completion. The sharp sting of pain shocked my system. I came hard, unable to stop myself. Bracing my body against Hadley, her back to the pillar, I panted in exhaustion. Every muscle tingled and shook. I was barely fucking standing, so I backed up and took her with me as I fell into the chair.

“Fucking hell,” I hissed. “Punky?” My hand combed through her hair. “You can let go now.”

Her teeth retreated, leaving an impression in my shoulder. “Sorry.”

“Don’t be.” I stroked my fingers up and down her spine. My dick twitched inside her. “That was fucking spectacular.”

She nuzzled against my neck and ran her nose along the sweaty column, her lips leaving kisses along my throat. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah,” I answered. And then I opened my eyes to the black spots still littering my vision. “Actually, yeah. Really okay.”

So fucking beautiful with her cheeks flushed red, her eyes sleepy, and her hair a wild mess.

“You didn’t have an attack.”

“No.”

“That’s good.” Her lips turned up and stopped before they revealed a full smile. As if she was reluctant to celebrate this fact. “Why not?”

“No idea. And I’m not going to linger on the thought.” I swiped my thumb over her bottom lip. “Maybe we’ll just have to make love standing up from now on.”

She laughed, burrowing her face against my neck. “I feel like I just got punched in the uterus.”

My head fell back and I laughed with a full voice. “Goddamn, Punky. Such romance. Such poetry.”

“Fuck off. That thing needs a warning label.”

“I’ll do it. I’ll get a surgeon general’s warning tattooed on my cock.”

“Will you stop it with that?” Hadley sat up, grabbing my jaw. “I like your dick just the way it is. No more ink or hardware on that part. Okay?”

“Whatever you say, sweetheart. He is your humble servant.”

In the alley behind the Nest Saturday night, I walked my father to Hadley’s car after our show. The birthday girl inside was down for an all-nighter, but traveling cross-country had taken a toll on Simon.

“Are you sure you don’t want me to drive you?” I offered.

“No need.” He unlocked the car with the key fob, the headlights illuminating the small lot. “Stay and have fun. And please eat something. You barely touched dinner, and you’re looking a little thin since the last time I saw you.”

“Yeah, sure. Just haven’t had much of an appetite recently.” It seemed every time I looked at food my stomach went a bit queasy these days. I’d probably caught a bug or something. “I’m glad you came. Means a lot that you could see us play.”

“I thoroughly enjoyed myself.” Simon opened the passenger door and turned to face me. “Your mother would be proud to see everything you’ve accomplished. The way you’ve grown.”

My eyes fell to the fascinating scuffmarks on my leather boots. “Thanks.”

“Josh, if there’s anything to take away from the girl you had tucked under your arm all night, it’s that a passion so strong has no substitute.”

“Yeah. I got that part figured out. I’m not letting her go. Tom issued the requisite threat.”

“I’m not talking about Hadley.” He slipped inside the car, lowering the window as he shut the door and started the car. “Love you, son. Be safe. I’ll see you in the morning.”

I took a step back as my father pulled away. In his wake, he left me perplexed. Oh, I understood his meaning just fine. Was it really so obvious?

I loved music. It was the only damn thing I was good at. The band, while a necessary distraction and suitable creative outlet, wasn’t a passion. Nothing against Trey and Corey. I loved those guys. No matter how much I threw myself into this hobby, though, I saw it more as a stagnant, failing relationship: She was safe, comfortable, and nonthreatening. She didn’t give me a hard-on when she walked in the room, nor was I overcome with the irresistible urge to mount her when she slipped into bed beside me. Days were not consumed with thoughts of her to the point of obsession, infatuation. Worse, she enabled my lazy complacency rather than inspiring growth.

Well, now I just wanted to throw Punky against a wall and fucking eat her.

Such deliberations only exacerbated my headache, which now had a side of tinnitus from the amplifiers. Tonight was for Hadley. Everything else could wait.

Back inside the bar, I went into the greenroom to use the private bathroom. It wasn’t pristine, but it got less use than the rotting petri dishes the customers used.

As I came out, Scott was waiting for me in the darkened hallway. With greasy, limp hair and a patchy growth around his jaw, he was almost unrecognizable. Small red scabs speckled his pallid complexion.

“I told you—”

“I want my money,” he said through chapped, split lips. His eyes were stained by broken blood vessels.

“You need to leave right now. I’m done with this shit.”

“Man, I’m not playin’ around. You owe me.” He was jittery, anxious, glancing down the hallway as if afraid to be seen.

“Scott, go home. Get yourself some help. I’m not doing this anymore.”

I tried to walk away, but he wouldn’t let me pass. Scott lifted the hem of his shirt to flash a small-caliber revolver stuffed in his waistband.

“I told you I’d be back. Just give me the money and we’ll call it square.”

“The fuck is that for?”

“So you know I’m serious.”

“You’re going to shoot me? Really? Who are you anymore? Look at yourself, Scott. You should be in a fucking hospital. You’re killing yourself.”

It was one thing to exchange a few blows and broken knuckles. Pulling this shit was goddamn insane.

“I’m done with your bullshit. You come at me with a fucking gun? Shoot me, you nutless fuck. Or go crawl back into your hole and fuck off.”

“Coming through!”

Scott backed off as one of the bar-backs came down the hall wheeling a cart of overstuffed garbage bags toward the Dumpster outside. Scott circled me, and for a second I thought he was relieved, like he’d been given an excuse to walk away and pretend this never happened.

“We’re not done,” he said, and darted into the alley.

Scott wasn’t there yet, but he was working up to becoming a dangerous man. I would have to go to the police, if only to protect Hadley and save Scott from himself.

But not tonight.

Hadley deserved to have fun, and I refused to let anything ruin her birthday. So I slapped on a smile and returned to the group.

I arrived at our table just in time to see Asha and Hadley slam blue shots of I-didn’t-know-what.

Hadley grimaced, shaking her head. “What was that?”

“I don’t know,” Tiny Tim laughed. The escaped member of Alice Cooper’s sideshow took a swig of Trey’s beer.

“You trying to poison my girl?” I asked.

Hadley turned around, smiling with a lopsided grin and glassy eyes. “Hi, handsome.”

“Sabra told me it was the birthday special,” Asha said. “I thought bartenders liked you here.”

Sitting down, I pulled Hadley on my lap. “Save any for me?”

“None for you.” She tapped my nose, blinking a lot over her dark, dilated eyes. “Someone has to get us home.”

Winding my hand into her hair, I caught the back of her neck. “Just a taste, then.” My lips met hers. She opened for me, allowing my tongue to lick inside. “Wow,” I said as I pulled away. “That’s fucking awful.”

Punky laughed and grabbed my glass of water. “I know, right? What did I ever do to Sabra?”

“Just so you know,” Corey said from across the table, Grace beside him. “Hadley offered to cook me dinner for a week if I spilled the beans on your gift.”

“Is that so?” I looked to Punky, arching my eyebrow.

“Yeah,” she said, without remorse. “And he wouldn’t tell me. How’s that for loyalty?”

“You already cook him dinner three times a week,” Trey said. “It’s not much of a bribe.”

“Speak for yourself,” Corey replied. “Sorry, Hadley. Bro code.”

“Bro code?” Grace scoffed. “Really? Can we please retire the phrase with popped collars and visors?”

“Screw that noise.” Hadley shifted in my lap and almost fell over. “I’ve known you longer. Doesn’t that count for anything? Trey?” Hadley leaned across the table. Everyone reached for their drinks to save them from the incoming calamity. Trashed, she was so damn adorable. “We’re tight, right? I know you like me better than Josh.” She sat up, grabbing my face and staring hard. “Sorry, babe. It’s true. I’m Trey’s favorite.”

“I’m crushed,” I mumbled with her hands squeezing my cheeks.

“Hadley.”

We both turned to see Andre standing on the other side of the railing that separated the table deck from the rest of the floor.

“Just wanted to come by and say happy birthday. Can I buy you a drink?”

“Thank you,” she said. “But I’m already getting them for free.”

“Right.” Andre gave us an awkward smile.

“Have a seat,” she offered. “You here with the guys?”

“Yeah. By the bar.”

“We’ve got room. Join us.”

The others started shifting their chairs around to clear some space at the table. I wasn’t thrilled with this idea, but what could I do? It was Hadley’s birthday, and that meant I had to suck it up and deal.

Andre gave her a nod and went back into the crowd.

“Be nice.” Hadley placed a kiss to my lips. Her eyes were soft, smiling.

“Anything. It’s your night.”

“So can I have my present now?”

“When we get home.”

She turned to the group, a plea on her face. “Anybody?”

Silence.

“Traitors,” she snapped. “All of you.”

The ugly lights popped on overhead to usher the drunk and stumbling out to the pavement. Right about the same time, my headache kicked in full force. Like I had a golf ball lodged behind my eye. Across the room, Trey and Corey were dodging dart ricochets as Asha and Hadley hurled them at the board. Or the vicinity of the dartboard.

“You know,” Andre said. “Right?” He sat across the table picking at the label on his empty beer bottle. It was just the two of us now, and I sensed a man-to-man was unfolding.

“Know what?”

“That I’m batting for the other team.”

“Yeah. I heard.” I leaned back, using Hadley’s straw to try and soothe the itch under my cast. “That has nothing to do with everything else. I wasn’t picking on you.”

“No.” He smothered a smile. “I figure you like me better this way. I get it. She’s not my type.”

Like
was a strong word. I hated him less.

“You were close?” I asked.

“Are close.”

Okay, now I hated him a little. Whether he liked dick or not didn’t seem to matter within the realm of my possessive nature toward Hadley. He was still a man, still not a fan of mine.

“Help me out here. She never talked about you. Suddenly, you’re back in the picture.”

“I don’t see how I owe you an explanation,” he said, and crossed his arms.

“Listen, Andre. You and I will probably never get along. I’m good with that. But you’re going to have to accept that I’m not going anywhere. Hadley is my whole life. Like it or not, this is permanent.”

Looking away, Andre surveyed the room. A line of patrons waiting to close out their tabs crowded the bar. A dozen more filled the hallway waiting for the bathrooms. Veiled in darkness, this place was a dump. Under the unforgiving glare of fluorescent lighting, it was far less appealing.

“My dad sent me away.” Andre sat rigid, his attention aimed in the distance. “That’s why I left. I asked the wrong question and that was it. Called me a fag and told me to get the fuck out. He didn’t have a son anymore. Sent me to live with my mom. Hadley was the only one who ever called. So when you tossed her aside, I was there.”

“Whatever you think you know, Andre—”

“She protected you. Every day you ignored her and Hadley called me crying, she wouldn’t tell me what happened. Just because she’s forgiven you doesn’t mean I will.”

“I’m good with that.” I stood, tossing a few twenties on the table for the waitress. “You need a ride home?”

“I’m fine.”

“For what it’s worth,” I said, offering my left hand, “thank you for being her friend when I wasn’t.”

He accepted the gesture with reluctance and squeezed my hand harder than necessary. “If she calls me crying—”

“Look for me to be tied to her rear bumper.”

“You’re enjoying this too much,” Hadley slurred.

I held her in my arms as I climbed the stairs to my bedroom. During the ride home, she’d fallen asleep and didn’t wake until I carried her through the front door.

“Be nice to me,” I warned. “You’re completely at my mercy tonight.”

“Every night.”

At the stop of the stairs, I nudged my bedroom door open with my foot and crossed to the bed, where I laid her down on top of the duvet. “You want anything? Water?”

“Present.” Hadley sat up against the headboard. “Gimme.” Like a child, she held out her arms, fingers wiggling in anticipation. Fucking adorable.

“It’s not your birthday anymore.” The clock on my nightstand read 3:25. “I missed the deadline. Guess you’ll just have to wait until next year.”

Her lips turned to a playful pout. “Please?”

“Ah. There it is, the magic word.” I went to the closet. “Close your eyes. And don’t fall asleep.”

The restraint she’d shown in not rummaging through my room to find the hidden gifts was commendable. When we were kids, Hadley had exercised a remarkable talent for finding, opening, and then resealing Christmas presents. She was nearly impossible to surprise, the curious thing.

“Keep them closed.” The first gift, the recording of Hadley’s favorite songs I’d written, went into the CD player. I set the second one upright against the opposite side of the bed. Sitting on the edge beside her, I placed a card in Hadley’s hands. “Open.”

She looked down, scanning the generic birthday card with a sassy raised eyebrow. “If there’s a gift card in here—”

“Ingrate. Just read it.” I reached over and flicked on the bedside lamp.

“‘Something big and something new, something small and something blue,’” she read. “A riddle? Josh, I don’t have the energy for a scavenger hunt. Please tell me it isn’t buried in the backyard.”

“No. No digging.” With the remote, I turned on the stereo. The album began in chronological order with the first song I’d composed for her. The song I’d played for her birthday so many years ago when things were far less complicated and our lives were only supposed to get better.

Hadley’s expression dropped. A crease formed between her brows, her bottom lip trembling. No. No, no, no. Not the reaction I’d aimed for.

“Sweetheart.” I held her cheek, running my thumb over her lip. “What’s wrong?”

“You made me a CD?”

“I thought you’d like it. I laid down your favorites. You’ve been asking me to play for you and...” Shit. “It’s everything I’ve ever written for you.” Her face turned pink and tears fell to my fingers. She crawled onto my lap to bury her head against my shoulder, clinging to me. “Don’t cry, Punky. Please don’t cry.” I rubbed her back. What the fuck had I done wrong? And why the hell didn’t someone stop me? “Say something.” I pressed pause on the remote.

“No.” Her head popped up. “Don’t stop.” Grabbing the remote, she pressed play. “It’s perfect.”

“Really?”

She nodded, smiling and sniffling. “I love it, Josh. It’s the best thing you could have given me.”

Hadley pressed her lips to mine; they were warm, tender, and tasted of salt. Pure panic subsided into relief and immense pride as we kissed, and I realized I hadn’t strung her along all day just to fuck up in epic fashion.

“I get the old and small part,” she said. Hadley pulled back and wiped the tears from her cheek. “Something big and blue?”

I reached to my side of the bed and grabbed the bass guitar by the neck to place in her lap. Her eyes lit up.

“Are you kidding me? Josh. This is— How did you know?”

“I was always watching you, Hadley. I never stopped noticing.” My fingers trailed the side of her face and down to her neck, brushing her hair over her shoulder. “Trey said he’d start giving you lessons. I can teach you the basics.”