The Debt 5 (6 page)

Then she went to the other window, where
there was a view of the Charles River.

“Oh, Jake,” she said, softly.
 
Tears were in her eyes, and with no one
to hide them from, she let them cascade down her cheeks.

The entire apartment was furnished with
tasteful, modern stuff—she’d have decorated it much the same if she’d had
the time and money.

How he’d secured her this place in such a
short time, she couldn’t even imagine.

Perhaps
he already had this apartment ready for some reason.
 
Maybe this is the place where he kept
previous lovers.
 
Perhaps he has an
apartment like this in every major city in the United States.
 
Could be some other women in apartments
in Tokyo or Paris.

Raven wiped the drying tears from her
cheeks and collected herself, sniffling, laughing a little at her own emotional
ups and downs.

The truth was that she had no idea what
this apartment really meant to Jake.
 
It could have been for any number of reasons, and she would never be
able to figure the truth out anyway.

Walking around the apartment, she kept
getting dazzled by new details.
 
The
bedroom was beautiful, a king-sized bed, flat screen television mounted on the
wall across from the bed, and another gorgeous view overlooking the Boston
skyline.

The kitchen was small, but the
countertops were granite and the refrigerator was large and
state-of-the-art.
 

There was a sheet of paper hanging on a
magnet on the fridge.
 
Raven got
closer and saw that it was a list of amenities that came included with her
apartment.
 
She apparently had
access to housekeeping and room service from the hotel.
 
She could also use the concierge
service.

And the paper told her that she was
automatically a member of the fitness center on the ground
floor,
open 24 hours a day, seven days a week.

Raven was absolutely dizzy with
everything that was being thrown at her.
 
She continued walking through her new apartment.

The living room was spacious, with a
table that doubled as a breakfast nook, two leather couches,
a
couple of chairs, cherry hardwood floors.

And then there was a library/office with
bookshelves that had a wide array of books in them—they ranged from
encyclopedias to classic literature to the newest thrillers.
 
And then there was a large mahogany desk
and ergonomic chair.

Raven sat down in the chair in the office
and spun around to look out on yet another picture window that showed the
harbor in all its glory.

I
guess I’m home
, she
thought.

***

The rest of her day was spent getting
acclimated.
 
She went to the nearest
ATM and looked at her account balance, and found that there was indeed fifty
thousand dollars in checking.

She shook her head, in awe of the numbers
staring back at her on the screen.
 
Immediately, Raven took out a couple of hundred dollars in cash, and
then she moved forty-eight thousand dollars into savings, leaving just about
two thousand dollars in checking.

In the last four years since leaving
home, Raven couldn’t recall a time when she’d even had two thousand dollars in
her bank account at one time.

She’d been living paycheck to paycheck
for so long, it had never even occurred to her that things could or would ever
be different.

As much as it pained her to have been
sent away from Jake, Raven had to admit that her heart felt lighter now.
 
She felt somehow taken care of by him,
even if now he was doing it in a very different way, and from a great distance.

Jake had given her freedom that she’d
never experienced before.
 
Fifty
thousand dollars could easily last her two years, especially if she didn’t have
to worry about rent or utilities for the first year.

Raven picked up her car that she’d left
sitting near Jake’s old hotel.

She drove it back to her apartment and
parked it in her new spot in the underground garage.

It took her a few trips, but she managed
to unpack most of her clothes and boxes that she’d taken from her old basement
apartment.

After that, she was starving, and went to
the nearby grocery and picked up some food, including some ice cream as a
treat.
 
Back up in her luxury
apartment that night, with the television on, and the beautiful blinking lights
from the Boston skyline shining outside her picture windows, Raven made a
comfort meal of mac and cheese, and then settled on the couch and watched TV.

After dinner she ate ice cream, went and
had a nice shower, climbed into some sweats and a t-shirt and got into bed.

She found that she was exhausted.

As she drifted off to sleep, Raven wanted
nothing more than to have Jake next to her so she could tell him everything
he’d done for her and how much it meant.

But Jake wasn’t there, and even though
she was warm and comfortable and happy in so many ways, one last tear drifted
down her cheek before she finally drifted off to a peaceful sleep.

***

The next morning, Raven woke up and made
herself a cup of coffee in the Keurig coffee maker that was sitting on the
counter in the kitchen.
 
She went to
the breakfast nook and sat and drank her coffee, feeling cozy and happy to be
in her new home as she gazed out the windows and over the harbor.

Everything was feeling bright and new and
full of possibility.

Raven pulled out her cell and opened up
Twitter.
 

Don’t
do it, Raven.
 
Don’t torture
yourself.

But she wanted to know.
 
Had Jake changed the passwords on his
social media?
 
She tried to log into
Jake’s twitter account and the login failed.
 
Then she tried his Facebook and
Instagram accounts.

The result was the same for all of them.
 
She’d been locked out.

Raven knew she shouldn’t be surprised or
wounded, but somehow she’d hoped that Jake would have given a sign that he did in
fact trust her and wasn’t shutting her out of his life completely.
 
Of course, even if she had been able to
access his accounts, she wouldn’t have done anything.

Maybe
look through his messages though—see if he’s talking to any new lady
friends?

She didn’t think so, and anyway, it was
irrelevant.
 
Jake Novak had locked
her out of his life, paid her off to disappear and stop inconveniencing him
with her presence.

He
bought me off.

Raven hated how it ate away at her.
 
Moments before, she’d been happy and
content, sitting at the table and drinking coffee.
 
Now she was desperately sad, lonely and
rejected, wishing that she could talk to Jake and get some reassurance that he
didn’t want to be rid of her forever.

He
does want to be rid of you forever, Raven.
 
Otherwise he would’ve told you to stay with him in New York, not rented
you an apartment hundreds of miles away from him.

She began searching online for news of
Jake, and immediately dozens of articles popped up.
 
Raven scanned the headlines, her eyes
widening as she read them.

Jake
Novak Resumes Tour Amidst Bullying Scandal

Anti-Bullying
Group Lobbies for Boycott of Jake Novak Tour

Pop
Idol Jake Novak Sitting Down with Oprah To Beg Fans’ Forgiveness

Jake
“The Snake” Tries to Slither His way Back Into Fans’ Good Graces

Novak
Tells Fans “I’m Okay, You’re Okay!” Tour’s A Go, Despite Public Backlash

It seemed (from what Raven could gather
from all the news) that Jake had decided to resume his tour.
 
He’d refunded Boston fans for the missed
dates, and was picking up the tour for one night in Boston before heading off
to continue the rest of the tour on schedule.

Her skin prickled at the thought of Jake
being back in Boston, if even for just one night.
 
She wanted to go to the arena and see
him, but knew that it was impossible.

He’s
gone.
 
Try and pretend he never even
existed.
 
Eventually, maybe you’ll
even start to believe it.

Raven took a deep breath, closed her
eyes, and prayed for strength.
 
And
she knew she would need it, because the second her eyes were closed, she saw
him.
 
She saw Jake as vividly as if
he was right in front of her.
 
He
was shirtless, his chest glistening, stomach tight, abdominal muscles
flexed.
 
He was looking at her with those
hypnotic brown eyes and a sly grin appeared.
 

That grin said
you’ll
never get over me.
 
You’ll never
find another man who can make you feel the way I make you feel, never find
another man with my charisma, charm, wit, intelligence.
 
You’ll always remember the time we spent
together, and wonder what might have been.

Raven opened her eyes.
 
She needed to get out of the apartment
and do something productive.

The gym.
 
She had a free membership to the gym.

Raven immediately went and changed into
her workout clothes and then left the apartment with a purpose.
 
The plan was simple.
 
Exercise until she was so exhausted and
wrung out that she would be unable to even think straight.

It was strange to be able to just take
her elevator downstairs and be at the gym within less than three or four
minutes of leaving the apartment.
 
She’d never even been able to afford a gym membership in the past.

And now, here she was, with all the rich
and fancy members of this particular club.
 
The women all had tight butts and perky breasts, and the men had
expensive haircuts.

The machines were all state-of-the-art,
but Raven didn’t need to get on some crazy contraption.
 
She hopped on a treadmill and started at
a quick jog.
 
As soon as she was
warmed up a little bit, she upped the speed so that she had to run at a
reasonably fast tempo.

The goal here was straightforward.
 
Run until she couldn’t move a muscle,
until all she could do was beg to get off the machine.

Hopefully, by the time that happened,
she’d be sufficiently wiped out and her brain would stop torturing her with
thoughts of Jake, images of Jake, the incessant chatter that told her she
couldn’t live life without him.

After about ten minutes, Raven was
already sweating.
 
She stared
straight ahead, not bothering to watch the TVs—she didn’t want to lose
focus, or risk seeing something to do with Jake Novak.
 

Her legs pumped harder, and her breathing
grew deeper and more labored.
 
This
pace was much faster than anything she was used to, but Raven didn’t care.
 
The harder the better.

She increased the speed of the treadmill
and her legs automatically adjusted, but now it was as though she was
sprinting.

Sweat had begun to drip down her
forehead, arms, back.

Everything was aching, burning,
straining.
 
Her lungs gasped for air,
but Raven didn’t give a damn.
 
There
would be no mercy until all thoughts of Jake had been cleanly expunged,
squashed by the effort she was making.

In the end, breathing would be such a
relief that she would be grateful just to not feel like she was going to pass
out.

Twenty minutes ticked by.
 
She was running at her very top speed,
her arms swinging fiercely, eyes locked in on the back of the girl’s head who
was on a stationary bike in front of her.

Run.
 
Run.
 
Run.

Stop
thinking.

Still, Jake Novak was in her mind,
watching her.
 
He was shaking his
head at the silliness of Raven on the treadmill, running herself half to death.

What
are you scared of?
He
asked her.
 
What are you running away from?

I’m
scared that I’ve really lost you.
 
I
don’t think I can take it.

You
can’t lose something you never really had.