Authors: Adam Gittlin
I took a long sip of my drink, finishing it.
“How long have you and your firm been thinking about this?”
“We have been discussing it off and on for years. At this point we are one of the largest companies in the world. We have liquid reserves coming out of our asses. With what has happened to the economic climate, and the fact that the commercial real estate market here is on the rebound, the timing just seems right. We happen to be in a perfect position to ride this wave.”
“Why me?”
“Because I trust you. More importantly, because you’re the best.”
I got the attention of the waiter.
“Yes?”
“We need another round.”
“And two shots of the strongest vodka you pussy Americans drink,” Andreu added.
“Shots?” I asked.
“You look like you could use one.”
“Andreu, what are you looking to do? I mean, do you want to go in with partners, do you want Class A property as opposed to Class B—”
“No partners, Jonah. Just Prevkos. And as far as what to buy, that’s why I’ve come to you on behalf of our entire board.”
“How much are you looking to part with?”
“Half a billion to get our feet wet. If all goes as planned, we build from there.”
I was stunned. I couldn’t say a fucking word. Andreu leaned forward.
“Looks like I finally got your attention.”
“You want me to shop for New York City buildings with a half billion dollars of your shareholders’ money?”
“Now we’re getting somewhere.”
“This is crazy.”
“Too much for you to handle?”
“Not even close,” I retorted. “I just don’t think you fully understand what you’re getting into here.”
“Oh yeah? Why’s that?”
“New York City commercial real estate is tricky. Most of the properties are owned by enormous corporations or major families who don’t just give up what’s been theirs for almost a century. If it’s not one of them, it is some real estate conglomerate that has probably gone public in the last few years.”
“I don’t give a fuck who owns what. I don’t care if we have to get what we want from General Electric or fight the board of Vornado. I don’t mind if I have to knock some old farts dick in the dirt—everything has a price. Everyone is always going to listen if they are being offered a premium.”
The first clue that Andreu had actually been doing his homework.
“Did you just say Vornado?”
“Come on, Jonah. You didn’t think I’d come to talk with you before doing my research?”
I was impressed. Vornado is one of the largest REITs, or Real Estate Investment Trusts, in the country. Within the last few years they had picked up a substantial amount of property in the city.
“I decided on you because you are very trusted within the industry, and your team is well respected. This is what my board needs. We need someone to go in with all the artillery possible. I know you have worked hard to get where you are, but this will take you to a whole new level. I’m giving you the opportunity to make the deal of a lifetime. If nothing else, think of the commission.”
I already had been, since I heard the words “half a billion” dollars. The truth was this would most likely be one of the biggest deals I would close in my life, and we both knew it.
“I should mention, Jonah, that there is a catch.”
“Isn’t there always?”
“We need this deal to close within three weeks.”
“Excuse me?”
“You heard me. Three weeks.”
“Not possible,” I said flatly.
“9/11, Jonah. By sun-up the next morning, American Express had a lease in place for a million square feet in New Jersey.”
“Apples to oranges,” I countered, testing him. “There is a significant difference between leasing space and buying it.”
“It’s all just business, Jonah. It’s all just negotiated terms and money.”
“Not possible,” I said again.
“Why not?”
“Why not? Shit, Andreu, I could drop fifty reasons without pausing.”
“Give me the most significant one.”
“Due diligence. You have no idea how many different exercises there are for a potential buyer to perform the due diligence of a commercial property. Everything from roof inspection to systems evaluations to the property’s code compliance history to zoning—there are more things that need to be checked than you can imagine. That’s why a due diligence period is usually from ninety to a hundred and twenty days. It’s basically a forensic process, and what I’ve just explained is only for a single building. It’s a whole different paradigm for an entire portfolio, one that includes intense dissection and forecasting of inflation, interest, and vacancy rates as well as future construction costs. What you are asking us to complete in three weeks is unheard of.”
“I understand that the due diligence, done correctly, takes a long time. But does it have to take that long—let’s just say—in a perfect world?”
“Where are we going here, Andreu?”
“Please, old friend, humor me.”
Our fresh drinks were placed on the table. I thought for a second, took a nice swallow of my cocktail, and thought for a second more.
“In a Utopian society, I guess not.”
“Why not?”
“Like everything else, the timing issue could probably be cured with money.”
“Explain.”
“Simply put, these people are contractors and salaried employees. People with lives, families, other professional commitments. They are not the types of individuals who are on call twenty-four hours a day, seven days a week like surgeons. You have to remember, it is very hard to get people to really care about entities owned by others. At the end of the day, people only care about what’s theirs.”
“And money talks.” Andreu followed along.
“Exactly. The inspection teams you are talking about retaining would have to be paid a serious premium for their time.”
Andreu cracked a half smirk as he shifted his weight.
“Money is not an issue here, Jonah. We understand that we are creating some—um — trying circumstances, but we also understand that we are going to have to pay for creating such circumstances. All you have to do is get everything lined up.”
Andreu picked up his shot then handed me mine before continuing. “Let me worry about supplying the necessary resources.”
He held up his still full shot glass, and cocked his head as if he was looking for me to toast, validate his words. I wasn’t ready.
“Attorneys.”
“Attorneys?” Andreu mimicked.
“Absolutely. Not just with the actual transfer of title, but even to deal with the minutia of the language in the contracts between Prevkos and, let’s say, the companies performing the inspections. These people don’t begin to attack a building without the proper measures having been taken. Their rates, their protection against claims, there are all types of legal issues that can and will arise. I promise you, it will only make things that much tougher trying to negotiate these types of agreements with your counsel halfway around the globe.”
“Of course. We’d have to grant you power of attorney.”
“You’re pretty quick to say that considering you’re responsible for running one of the largest corporations in the world.”
“No, I’m not, Jonah. Trust me, it’s something our board has had extensive discussions about. We wouldn’t pretend to be so arrogant as to think we could negotiate such contracts. We are very comfortable giving you power of attorney. To protect ourselves, we would do so in a way that gives you such power only for our real estate affairs and negotiations in New York City, and only for a limited period of time. In this case, the three weeks we are talking about. This way, no offense, you couldn’t touch any other areas of our business outside this deal even if you wanted to.”
“No offense taken. Andreu, what about government agencies, municipalities from both countries? I understand the desired timing is strictly an internal decision driven by perceived market conditions, but people are going to start asking a lot of questions pertaining to the need for such a fast transaction.”
“Meaning?” countered Andreu, fully understanding where I was going.
“I’m just asking the questions I should be, Andreu.”
“You think we massage our numbers, Jonah?” he went on, smiling.
“What I’m saying is that, as we both know, Russian firms are perceived to handle their internal finances differently than American firms. I just want to remind you that people will start asking questions about Prevkos. And they’ll start asking fast.”
“Which is precisely what I want. Our financials are impeccable. As a public company we’re used to offering ourselves up for unequivocal scrutiny. The quicker the questions come, the faster the answers come. It will just make those involved that much more comfortable with us in terms of making a fast, clean transaction.”
“I’ll need to get a copy of your proof of citizenship and identity. In fact, I’ll need it for whoever will have the authority to deliver decisions on behalf of your shareholders. It’s strictly enforced company policy for international transactions. All board members or—”
“I represent the official voice of the board, Jonah. Always. And I have no problem giving you all of my papers.”
“You’re talking about a lot of cash here. Not just for whatever property you obtain, but for the due diligence alone involved in selecting the right purchase.”
“The beauty of living in the age of wire transfers, my friend. I understand you would need to keep funds on hand. We set up an account over here and I supply you immediately with the funds you need to do your homework. Once we’ve settled on the target, we zap the money overseas and put it in escrow until it is time to, hopefully, pull the trigger.”
“Cash held in escrow in the States would have to be with the bank of PCBL’s choice, Andreu.”
That meant Salton Lynear Bank, the preferred financial services provider of PCBL.
“Since we’re talking about so much cash it is imperative I’m able to utilize my relationships. It’s the only way to ensure moving cash through the unavoidable red tape as quickly as we’ll need to.”
“Of course. I understand that,” Andreu responded.
“Who handles your banking?” I asked.
“We deal with Tenvix.”
Tenvix International, headquartered in Moscow. I was familiar with the bank.
“I’ll need to have access to them.”
“Igor Larianov leads the team that handles all of our financial affairs,” Andreu offered up. “He speaks English almost as well as I do. I’ll put you directly in touch with him.”
“It’s a must. If we’re making a play based on money, then I need the ability to manipulate and distribute money as I see fit. Meaning I need access to all important banking institutions helping us to make this happen. Plain and simple.”
“I agree with you. Done.”
Andreu leaned back in his chair.
“Admit it, Jonah. It’s sounding more and more attainable by the second. And I imagine the concerns you just threw at me were your strongest ones. Am I right?”
He was right. There were other issues, and it was certain that others would come up along the way, but these were the two most glaring examples. It was all about having the necessary resources to make people move mountains. People only care about what’s in their pocket. And what more could I really want than to get people to jump to make my deal with someone else’s money? The more I thought about it—the challenge, the rush, the victory—the more I clung to the obvious. I had nothing to lose. No deal, no payday. And I always made the deal.
“It couldn’t just be me.”
“What couldn’t just be you?”
“The one granted power of attorney. It would need to be all four members of my team. We would all need the ability to maneuver independently of one another. We would each need the power to make important, quick, potentially deal-altering decisions.”
“Except for authorizing wire, or for that matter any type of cash, transfers,” he shot quickly back at me, like a dart. “All money transactions need your authorization. With regard to access to my company and our lawyers and the ability to make decisions to further a potential deal — all four need it, all four got it.”
Andreu just stared at me, waiting for more words. I didn’t give him any.
“Admit it,” he said. “Not bad.”
At this point I smiled. It was starting to actually feel possible.
“No,” I countered. “Not bad at all.”
Andreu again raised his shot glass.
“Now will you drink this shot with me?”
I raised my glass as well and we threw them back. Another question jumped up and bit me.
“Why three weeks?”
“We’ll get to that, Jonah. Can we just enjoy our cocktails?”
I gave him my answer—no—without using any words.
“I absolutely understand that what I am asking of you is no easy task. But we came to you for a reason, and there will be other incentives offered to your team that we’ll get into. For now, I just have one more question.”
Andreu took a sip of his drink without taking his eyes away from mine.
“You ready to make a truly obscene amount of money?”
Chapter 6
The four of us were in Tommy’s office at 8:00
a.m
. sharp Wednesday morning. Tommy was sitting behind his desk. Perry and Jake were sitting on a brown, leather couch against the opposite wall and I was in a matching armchair to the side of the room’s central glass coffee table. Perry, in a charcoal, pinstriped Ralph Lauren pantsuit and dark-rimmed, porno-librarian glasses, as I liked to refer to them, was holding a pad and pen. Jake was sipping his latte and Tommy had his arms folded behind his head as he got settled. He exhaled, and then started in:
“Now—”
He was cutoff as the phone rang. He instinctively threw his arm forward and with his index finger and acute precision depressed a button that put him through to Candace, his secretary.
“Yes, Tommy?”
“I said no calls, Candace. Please!”
“Sor—”
Before she could even apologize, he had gotten rid of her. He resumed his position, and tried once again to relax and focus.
“Now Jonah, tell me what the fuck is going on here.”
The floor was mine.