The Deadliest Secret (The Deadliest Series) (16 page)

             
“Yippee.” Kody didn’t mind solitary confinement, he preferred it to the idiots he had to deal with.

             
The guard opened the cell, pulled Kody from the bed and cuffed him for transport to the solitary confinement wing. He was becoming a frequent guest of the small wing. There were very few who resided there but Kody knew most of them already. He wished they would just move him to solitary, especially with what happened with Gwen earlier today he did not want to be around their incessant babbling that always led to nothing, sure there were fights in the yard but the guards rarely let it get far enough to feel any release or pleasure from the play.

             
He was in pain the intensity shocked him to his core. Kody had never felt such agony before. Solitary confinement usually helped him, the silence comforted him beyond belief in normal circumstances but tonight the silence around him screamed the scene back at him over and over again, the silence screamed the loudest. He wanted the voices to stop, Kody screamed and his voice only fed the others in his head. The voices kept getting louder and louder, he needed to shut them up, he growled at the invisible foe. There was nothing in his cell he could use to harm himself; the small makeshift room was barren. Kody’s hand pressed against the cool stone of the wall. He knew what to do. He needed the voices in his head to stop. Kody pressed against the wall, he whispered so soft “I need this to stop.”

             
Kody’s head rested for only a moment before he pulled it back and snapped it forward once, he felt dazed, twice, he saw a tiny trickle of blood, three times he felt the wound open, the fourth time he felt it crack wider, he kept going, the pain within was numbing as he slammed his head against the wall. He didn’t register when the door buzzed open and the alarm was sounding beside him. His lips were coated in his blood; he licked them clean and continued. His final grasp at sanity, at being normal had been broken today with Gwen. She was his only hope, perhaps if he proved himself he thought she would accept him back, would his blood be the sacrifice she needed from him? He had to hope it would be enough.

             
Kody could feel the darkness at the edges of his heightened state; his vision was disturbed, blurry. He didn’t care, the only thing he wanted to look at was Gwen and until she would let him look again he could be blind every other moment of the day so long as he got to see his woman. He started to fall. The last thing Kody registered was officer porky from earlier this evening screaming for a medic to come to the cell. Kody hoped the medic would be late getting to him; his last thought was of how peaceful death would feel before the darkness overtook him.

              Gwen had left work early again. She almost ran out after Torrian took Kody to his cell. Her mind was racing, what had Kody told Torrian during their walk. Was her greatest fear exposed? Gwen drove home slowly, her entire body was shaking, she debated about pulling over and letting the shakes subside but she wanted to be someplace safe where she could lock out the world and try to rebuild her life. If Torrian knew he would be rightly disgusted with her and most likely send her packing. In the short time they had been together she had fallen for Torrian, really and truly fallen for him. She poured herself a glass of scotch and downed it.

             
She knew she had to be on the attack. If Kody told Torrian about the shared past Gwen knew he wouldn’t have time to go into detail. She would have to be upfront and tell him herself, everything, from her point of view. That would be very important. She couldn’t keep lying to him, lying is not the way to establish a loving relationship and if he knew she was lying the trust they had built their friendship on, and their courtship would vanish in the time it took to utter the words. Gwen whipped out her phone and typed her message to Torrian. “Please come over after work.” Her fingers hovered above the send button, she was still unsure of if she should talk to him tonight. Her conscience screamed at her to make the right decision, but did she have the strength? She poured another glass of the scotch.

              Torrian was livid. His body ached to leap into action. The only reason the bum McQueen wasn’t on the ground was Gwen’s sake. She looked so frightened when he pulled the guy off of her.  Torrian had to get away from that guy before he did something that would cause him to lose his job for good. He couldn’t do that not now, not with how well things were going and how fast they were progressing. His thought on the situation was, why wait if you know its right? Torrian was outside when the warden caught up with him.

             
“Ford wait up.” The warden sounded winded, he was somewhat fit but running was not his forte, he was also a quite a bit shorter than Torrian so his steps were smaller.

             
“Yes Warden.” Torrian halted his steps.

             
“What’s going on Ford, you are unusually pissed off.”

             
“That McQueen guy, Kody. He is a piece of work.” Torrian admitted.

             
“Ah yes, Kody Lee McQueen he is one of the very few I’ve ever been afraid of here. That’s saying a lot.” The warden agreed, he had been in the business of prisoners for over twenty years; he was going to be until the day he died.

             
“Yes it is warden, I think I should schedule time to see Doc B. I need to make sure McQueen doesn’t get into my head.” Torrian suggested, really wanting to just go check on her.

             
“That’s a good idea Ford but the scheduling will have to wait till tomorrow maybe even the next week. She went home early, think she’s sick.”

             
“She’s gone?” Torrian didn’t know she had left, his mind worked overtime on what could have happened. He was cursing internally.

             
“Yeah, looked real bad pasty as shit.” Scott Wickam the warden had just dropped a bombshell on Torrian and he was fishing around in his pocket for his cigar and lighter.

             
“I thought you quit.” Torrian tried to keep his normal façade up.

             
“I did, according to the wife. Don’t tell her and I’ll give you a raise.” The warden joked, he was easy to talk to but you didn’t piss him off.

             
“Secret is safe with me boss” Torrian up nodded.

             
“Everything ok Ford?” The warden prodded again.

             
“Yeah I’m good, just that McQueen guy got to me today. I’ll get it taken care of.” His voice was sure but his thought was even more violent, he was envisioning his revenge on Kody McQueen, a very bloody physical revenge on the man who touched his woman.

             
Torrian was now counting the minutes till he could leave the God forsaken island. He needed to check on Gwen.  His body hummed with the tension.

             
“Ford this isn’t over and this isn’t okay, what happened with McQueen, that’s an order.” He pulled his rank, Torrian almost cringed, if the warden knew he wouldn’t be able to exact revenge but he was right, this is his island.

             
“I need to check my sources before I report to you, the McQueen guy might be heading for more solitary, he’s starting shit with every other inmate he comes in contact with.” Torrian’s lie was smooth his first priority was protecting Gwen from any backlash from what happened.

             
“Whatever you say Ford, I have paperwork to get to.” The warden stabbed out his cigar on the bottom of his boot and started to walk away.

             
“See you boss.”

             
“Ford.” The warden said as he continued his walk, Torrian could tell he knew something was going on.

             
Torrian pulled out his cell phone to check the time, it was about fifteen minutes till he could leave, and he started walking back to the security office. He walked a bit slower than normal. He checked it again; there was a message from Gwen asking him to come over. He shook his head and replied swiftly, “As if you could stop me, wild horses baby.”

             
He hit send and opened the door to the office, the menial tasks he did daily took no time today. He looked at his phone, no reply from Gwen, was he right? Did what he think would happen actually happen? Fuck he needed to leave and now. He needed to check on her. She was definitely more hurt than she let on. He tensed again, Torrian stopped for a moment, cracked his neck, then grabbed his work bag, changed into his street clothes then walked to the boat, he didn’t respond to anyone on his way out. His mind had become a tunnel, the only light he would see would be Gwen’s face and her telling him exactly what happened today. When he got to his car he had to breathe before he drove.

             
By the time he parked outside of Gwen’s townhouse he was tortured, he imagined a thousand different scenarios. He jogged to the door and let himself in with the key she gave him.

             
“Gwen.” His voice was short and demanding.

             
He didn’t see Gwen in the living room when he entered, his nerves were on edge the second he didn’t see her on the couch, reading like she normally always is. He looked into the kitchen and saw her standing by the teakettle; it was screaming at her, she also had her iPod plugged into her ears.

             
“Thank fuck.” He was relieved.

             
Torrian walked over to her, Gwen jumped when she saw him approach from seemingly out of nowhere to her. He grabbed her by her shoulders and crushed her to him; he tilted her head up using his thumb on her chin. “Gwen I love you more than life, please do not lie to me, just tell me, did McQueen hurt you today, did he touch you anywhere?” His voice was strained with emotion.

             
“What?” Gwen was confused by Torrian’s fervor.

             
“McQueen, did he fucking touch you? Besides the kiss.” His tone was punctuated and short.

             
“No… he just kissed me.” Shame crossed Gwen’s face.

             
“Oh fucking thank God, I thought he did worse, when the warden said you left I went crazy thinking he did something worse to you.”

             
“No just the kiss, I feel so dirty I brushed my teeth five times when I got home.”

             
“Oh God baby you aren’t dirty, you’re perfect.”

             
Torrian pulled Gwen to him, his arms warmed her body, his soul eased having her in the circle of his body. She was warm against him, when he held her she seemed to release a breath of tension she was holding.

             
“Were you waiting for my reaction?” He asked timidly, he lightly trailed fingers up and down her back.

             
“Yeah.” She admitted shyly.

             
“Why in the world would I be mad at you? He attacked you, that crazy fuck.” Torrian sounded a bit bitter even to his own ears.

             
“I thought he might have told you…” Gwen’s voice disbelieving as she spoke.

             
“Told me what?” His nerves were on edge again.

             
“Torrian can we sit down, I really think this needs to be discussed sitting.” Her could hear how nervous she was; some of her words were stammered.

              Gwen led the way to her pristine living room and motioned for Torrian to sit down. When he sat he pulled her with him, she was situated on his lap, it felt comfortable and right. She knew that if she sat there her mind would soon be clouded and she would back out of her obligation to tell Torrian. She moved from his lap but continued to hold his hand. Gwen took a deep breath, she figured she should start with her college years; she neglected telling Torrian about them on purpose and he had figured that out but rather than fight her on it he left it alone, he was such a great guy.

             
“Torrian my college years were fine until my senior year. I ended up dating a man who was bad for me, he tried to get me involved with drugs, he worked for the mob when I was dating him, I didn’t know that part till after I thought I was in love with him. He ended up sleeping with my roommate,” she paused only when he cracked his neck again, Torrian was protective, he even wanted to protect her from the past, “I was young, I am fine now.”

             
She continued to talk; she detailed what Kody did to her without mentioning his name. “…By the time I graduated I put all that behind me. I buried it so deep I guess I forgot most of it till recently. The memory is pretty painful but it isn’t as painful as losing you because I didn’t tell you the truth.” She gulped hard, clearing the lump from her throat.

             
“Gwen what does all this have to do with what happened today?” Torrian was stroking her arms starting to get exasperated, he wanted to know now.

             
“The ex boyfriend’s name was Kody McQueen, I dated him, we were together for quite some time.”