The Dead Dog Day (37 page)

62

Sunday 15
^th
April

Alice's eyes looked distended, the lids pink and puffy; her make-up-free face was blotchy and streaked with tears, her nails chipped and broken. Propped against pillows in her hospital bed, she clutched the pink pashmina that was wrapped around her shoulders, and shivered. But it was her neck that Cora's horrified eyes were drawn to over and over again, the livid bruising, the clear impressions of fingers etched onto delicate skin. She felt sick. Benjamin had done this. Those were Benjamin's finger marks, the visible, horrible proof that he had tried to kill this woman. She shivered too, and dragged her eyes back to Alice's.

They'd been chatting for over an hour, hesitantly at first, both wary after years of professional enmity. But eventually, the barriers between them began to crumble slowly in the face of their shared trauma. Now, in this little, private, London hospital room, which smelled of a mixture of disinfectant and Chanel N
^o
5, Cora was actually holding Alice's trembling hand. She allowed herself a small wry smile. Wendy and Sam would think they were seeing things – who would ever have thought it!

‘I was kept in the dark too, as a child,' Alice was saying. ‘I was very young, and I knew my uncle had been killed in a plane crash, but no real details – not the fact they'd been drinking or anything. The family sort of fell apart after the accident. Everyone adored Uncle Guy so much, and without him all the fun seemed to go out of our lives - we'd all been so close before, but after he died everything changed. It was such a devastating time, it affected everybody, and although I never knew the specifics of what happened, I picked up on all the tension and unhappiness. It was horrible. I didn't have a very happy childhood, not after that. But we and the Kendricks always kept in touch, so I knew Jeanette, and that's why when I decided I wanted to work in TV, I came to her. It seems weird now that neither of us ever realised that Benjamin was the kid who lost his parents in the crash, but we really didn't – it was one of those taboo subjects in both of our families, and as we grew up I think we both just sort of wanted to put it behind us.'

Cora nodded. She could understand that. Alice shivered, even though the room was stiflingly warm.

‘And Jeanette – well, she helped me. She was so good to me, Cora. I know I'm not the brightest girl in the world, but she took a chance, she gave me the opportunity …'

A sob wracked her frail body again and she slipped her hand out of Cora's and fumbled on her bedside table for a tissue. She blew her nose noisily, then took a deep breath and continued.

‘That's why I was so upset, when she died. I know everyone thought I was just being a stupid diva, but I was devastated. We were friends, you know? She was probably the only true friend I had, in all honesty. There are a couple of others, from school, who I keep in touch with – in fact, I was speaking to one of them on the phone, that time in the café when you overheard me, and again that time Benjamin recorded me. I assumed it was Agnes – you know, from
Sportsworld
? – who'd given that recording to the police, I feel bad about that now. That's another person I need to apologise to. I rang her up and screamed abuse at her down the phone, she must have thought I'd gone crazy!'

She managed a weak smile, and Cora smiled back. Alice sniffed and carried on talking, her voice hoarse.

‘But I really don't have many friends, and I know it's all my own fault. I've been so horrible to everyone at work, and I've hated myself for it, but once I started with that sort of bitch persona it just got harder and harder to stop. All I really have is my looks, Cora, I know that – I'm not clever like you, or like Sam or Wendy or anyone else there, and I've just felt so scared and insecure ever since I started the job. It just seemed easier to keep everyone at arm's length, so nobody would know how out of my depth I was.'

She paused again and cleared her throat.

‘So it ended up that in the last few years it was Jeanette I was closest to. We never let that be known, not at work, but we really were very close. And I know the way I was acting made the police suspicious of me, but I just couldn't control it. Every time I walked into that newsroom, walked past her office, it hit me again. And the funeral was just horrific. It's been terrible.'

She stopped and wiped her eyes. Cora sat quietly, letting her compose herself. Poor Alice, she thought.

Alice took a sip of water, slumped back on her pillows and stared at the ceiling.

‘So – I wasn't myself, Cora. And I'm sorry, so sorry, for what I did to you. It was such an awful time, and Jeanette was gone, and then I was dumped by this guy I'd been seeing, and I was so desperate for someone to just hold me, and tell me everything would be alright. And you were nice to me, even though I didn't deserve it, and I still couldn't stop myself being a bitch. And then, after that day when I was being so nasty to you in the make-up room, and you ignored my question and walked out – do you remember …?'

Cora nodded.

‘Well, it was just after that, that Benjamin came up to me, in that club. I knew he was your boyfriend, but I tried to justify it to myself, told myself you'd started being mean to me again so you deserved to be cheated on. I just went along with it. I deserve everything I got, Cora. I'm a horrible cow, and I deserve what happened to me.'

‘No!' Cora said fiercely. She grabbed Alice's hand again.

‘No, you don't deserve what happened to you. Neither of us do. It was not my fault, it was not your fault, OK? Never say that again. It was him. All him. You remember that.'

Alice's eyes filled with tears once more.

‘Thank you,' she whispered.

They sat in silence for a while. The room was filled with flowers, vases on every available surface, cards bearing messages of support and sympathy. At the end of the bed, the TV was showing an old episode of
Columbo
, the sound muted.

‘He knows now, that I'm pregnant,' Alice said eventually.

Cora looked up. ‘Benjamin does?'

‘Mmmm. That police officer told him. He said Benjamin was glad, then. Glad that he didn't finish it. You know, kill me. He didn't really ever want kids, but he told the police he'd never hurt one.'

She paused and wiped her eyes again. ‘He told me, over and over again you know, that he didn't love you. That he was going to finish with you, so we could be together. That's why I thought it was OK for me to be with him. But when I saw his face, that day on the Embankment, when you caught us together, I knew the truth straight away. I could see it in his eyes when he looked at you. He did love you in his twisted way, Cora. Everything he said to me was a lie. Just to get close to me, so he could use me for his final fling sex games and then … kill me.'

She lay back on her pillows and closed her eyes, looking suddenly exhausted.

Cora nodded, her heart hurting. It was so dreadfully sad, all of it. Benjamin, the little boy whose life had fallen apart, who'd grown up to be so wonderful in so many ways, but with the secret pain, the pain which had turned into a sickness which would eventually destroy him. And all of them who'd been dragged into it with him … Jeanette, Alice, and Cora herself. Jeanette was gone, and the two who were left would never forget this, never really get over it, Cora knew that.

She looked at Alice.

‘The baby – it's OK?'

Alice opened her eyes and smiled for the first time that day. ‘It's OK. And yes, I know its dad is a killer, and that's not going to be an easy conversation to have one day. But it's the only good thing to come out of this horrible mess, Cora. I'm having it. And then it'll be the two of us, and I won't need anyone else. I'll love it and protect it and care for it and everything will be alright.'

Cora swallowed a sudden lump in her throat.

‘It doesn't have to be just the two of you, Alice. You have friends. We'll help. You won't have to do it all on your own.'

‘Friends?' Alice's voice was barely a whisper this time.

Cora nodded. ‘Friends,' she said.

63

Three weeks later

‘I'm happy. I really do feel happy. And I feel lucky too – is that weird?'

‘Well, you're always a bit weird Cora. But yes, you're lucky. Lucky to be alive for one thing, after the murderer boyfriend thing and all.'

Nicole rolled her eyes, then smiled and clinked champagne glasses with Cora. Rosie, who had finally given birth two weeks ago after what seemed to all of them like the longest pregnancy in history, grinned up at them from the sofa, where she was contentedly breast-feeding little Amy. Alistair, his arm wrapped around his wife's shoulders, looked up for a moment to smile at Cora too, then resumed his besotted gazing at his new daughter. Nicole's Will, sitting next to him, raised his eyes heavenwards, and they all laughed.

It was a beautiful day, the warm May sunshine streaming in through the open doors to the roof terrace. Inside, Cora's living room was all set up for a Sunday lunch party, table pushed back against the wall and groaning with food, white balloons tied to the backs of chairs, and plenty of champagne, white wine and beer cooling in the kitchen. She wasn't sure exactly why she'd felt the need to throw a party, but it suddenly seemed that after a horrible few months, lots of her friends now had something to celebrate. Rosie's gorgeous new baby, Alice's pregnancy, Adam's successful cracking of the murder case, and, for Cora herself, the news that she would be covering Alice's maternity leave. Six months, maybe longer, in the studio in London. And, amazingly, all with Alice's blessing. Their friendship had had a tentative start, but there was no doubt it was now a friendship.

There was a buzz at the door intercom and Cora whooped, put her glass down carefully on the mantelpiece and ran to answer it. It seemed everyone else had arrived at once, and within minutes the flat was full of chatter and laughter. Scott, Nathan and Rodney had come together, all with their partners, and all three wearing the silly T-shirts she'd picked up for them in an airport souvenir shop while she and Justin had been waiting for their flight home from Spain.

To her great delight, she'd found a white T-shirt with the slogan ‘Idiot Seeking Village', now proudly sported by Rodney. Shaven-headed Scott's said ‘Who Needs Hair With a Body Like This?' and intolerant Nathan had been thrilled with ‘I See Dumb People'. She hugged them all happily. She'd miss them during her London stint, but Alice would be around for a few months yet so she and her crew would have the summer on the road together – the best time of year for morning TV reporters, with daylight from 4 a.m. and no need for thermals.

‘Right – where's the food, Cora?' demanded Scott, after he'd stopped whirling her around in a huge, dancing bear hug.

She laughed, a little out of breath, and pointed across the room. Scott's eyes lit up.

‘Marvellous! I could eat a hearse!'

‘Horse, not hearse!' chorused Cora, Nathan and Rodney, to delighted laughter from everyone else in the room. Cora shook her head. Scott really was the original Mr Malaprop.

Leaving the boys to descend on the buffet like starving creatures, Nathan play-wrestling a recently arrived Justin away from the chicken legs, she went to join Sam and Wendy who'd caught the morning train from London and were currently arguing over who should get first cuddle of Rosie's baby.

‘Oi! Cuddle me instead!' Cora demanded.

They both obliged.

‘You look good. Better than I've seen you look in ages, to be honest,' Sam said, appraising her with a critical eye. ‘Wonder why that it is, eh, Wend?'

She nudged Wendy, who almost spilled her drink.

‘Sam! But yes, you do look rather gorgeous, Cora. And yes, I think we can guess why.'

Cora couldn't help blushing. ‘Shut up,' she said, smiling.

She turned and caught a glimpse of herself in the big mirror over the fireplace. She did look good. Her skin was glowing, eyes bright, even her hair seemed shinier. Across the room, she caught Adam's eye. He was deep in conversation with Alice, but when he saw her looking at him he beamed. Alice glanced over her shoulder, grinned, and waved her glass of orange juice in the air to beckon Cora over.

‘Thanks so much for inviting me,' she said. ‘I'll stop hogging him now, there's a baby I need to go and bounce on my knee – get some practice in!'

‘Yes, you'll need plenty, young Alice. Better get used to baby sick on your cashmere too.'

Alice groaned and headed across to where the girls were all still cooing over the angelic Amy. Cora watched as they all greeted Alice with warm smiles. Phew. She knew how they all felt about Alice, but they'd agreed to make an effort for Cora's sake, and she was relieved they were keeping their word. That was another thing she had to be thankful for. Her friends truly were wonderful.

‘So – nice party,' Adam said, dragging her attention back to him.

‘Delighted you could make it,' she said.

And even more delighted that you've asked me out, and that we're having dinner next week, she thought. They fell into easy conversation, wandering out onto the roof terrace where Harry was crouched in the sunshine, playing some sort of intense game involving toy cars and Lego, and chatting animatedly to Rosie's Ava and Alexander and Nicole's serious-faced little Elliot.

‘Children, at one of my parties. I must be getting old,' Cora mused.

‘They're not so bad. Honest.'

‘I know. Well, some of them anyway. These four are pretty special, I think.'

They rested their glasses on the balcony ledge, a light breeze ruffling their hair and bringing the scent of roses across from the adjoining terrace where Oliver had appeared some time earlier and was now stretched out in the sunshine like a small, discarded fur coat. The cat reminded Cora of the night when Benjamin had finally been caught. She shuddered slightly and looked away. He was on remand now, awaiting sentencing. She'd been bombarded by requests from newspapers over the past few weeks, trying to sign her up for ‘My Boyfriend was a Killer' exclusives once the court case was over, but she'd turned them all down. She wanted to move on now, not dwell on what had happened. She didn't know how things would work out with Adam – she still had no desire for full-time children in her life, but her attraction to him was so strong she'd been powerless to turn him down when he'd nervously asked her out. And she genuinely liked Harry. She drained her glass and smiled up at the policeman.