The Days of Redemption (28 page)

“You'd be willing to do that?”

“I'd be willing to do just about anything, Edward. Except give you up.”

Before she could brace herself, he'd wrapped his arms around her and pulled her close. Their awkward embrace caused them both to lose their balance. They toppled over in a jumble of arms and legs and laughter. Obviously confused, Gretta barked at them.

But Viola didn't care. Because Ed was holding her and laughing and kissing her and it felt right.

It felt right to be so free and open and loved. In fact, little had felt better.

“Bishop Coblentz gave me a name of a treatment facility,” Peter told Marie with only the slightest tremor in his voice. “The bishop even called them while I was in his office. They have space available, so I'm going to go there this afternoon.”

Marie reached out a hand. When he took it, feeling the fine bones under her soft, cool skin, he almost cried like a child. How could he have come so close to jeopardizing everything they had?

“Would you like me to accompany you?”

He would've loved that. He would've loved to depend on her for a little while longer.

But it was time that he stood on his own.

“
Nee,
Marie. It's a program where you live there for a few weeks. I won't be coming home right away.”

Her eyes widened. “Peter, truly?”

“There's more wrong than just drinking, Marie. Though I feel weak for admitting it, I've been having quite a time dealing with some things. I need to discover why that is. And more importantly, I need to get better, and once again become the man you can depend on. The man you married. Because, you know, we have so much that is right.”

Slowly she nodded. “What can I help you with?”

She'd already helped him with so much. She'd seen him at his worst, and still stayed by his side. Now she was supporting him even though he was going to have to leave her for several weeks.

Asking her for one more thing seemed like too much to ask, so he kept it simple. “Could you make me a sandwich? I need to go pack.”

“
Jah,
” she replied, her voice wobbly. “
Jah,
I can do that.”

Later, he talked to Roman and the girls. It was hard, admitting his faults, but he figured they'd already witnessed him at his neediest. “I need you all to help with the extra chores out in the barn. Ask your uncle Sam or even John Miller if you need anything. They'd both be glad to help, so don't be shy if you're needing extra hands.”

“I'll take care of things, Daed,” Roman said solemnly. “Don't worry.”

Looking into his son's eyes, Peter realized that his boy was all grown up. “
Danke,
Roman.”

Next, he walked to the
dawdi haus
and told his mother and father his plans. Their expressions were solemn, but surprisingly, they only added their support.

Then all too soon, the English driver arrived and he hugged Marie goodbye.

“Will you call soon?” she asked as she raised her arms around his neck and pressed her face into his shoulder. Just the way she'd hugged him the first time.

Just like she had for over twenty years.

“I'll call when I can. But if you don't hear from me, don't assume the worst. I'll have to follow their rules for a time, and the bishop said that the treatment center can be fairly strict.”

“I'll be praying for you, Peter.”

He knew she would. And knowing that both she and the Lord were on his side? Well, that meant the world to him.

“That is what I need the most, Marie,” he said sincerely.

She hugged him again and was still standing there, watching him leave when the car turned and sped up onto Highway 35. He was finally doing something right.

And after far too many weeks of feeling like he was doing too much wrong, it felt good indeed.

“I still canna believe it, Lovina,” Aaron said, his voice heavy with disappointment. “I can't believe Peter left the farm to go get help from some recovery clinic down near Columbus. I never thought I'd see the day.”

“I never thought I would, either,” Lovina murmured. But privately she was proud of her son.

What he was doing wasn't easy. Change never was.

Instead of dwelling on Peter, she looked out the window. It was still dark outside, but if she squinted, she could see the first rays of the sun glimmer over the horizon.

Just like the night before, her husband's voice sounded aggrieved. “I'm going to go to the barn to see if Roman needs any help. He probably doesn't, but I figure he's feeling a bit at a loss, now that his
daed
is off helping himself.”

He'd paused expectantly. Obviously hoping for her to heap on the criticism. For most of their married lives, that had been their way.

But she was tired of that pattern.

So instead, she concentrated on the positive. It was easier, she thought. And besides, the sun was about to come up. “I think that's a
gut
idea, Aaron. Roman will appreciate your help for sure.”

She felt him pause at the door, obviously waiting for her to turn around, but she didn't feel up to facing him. The emotions churning inside her were too strong. Too tumultuous.

“Lovina, did you hear about Viola? She said yes to that Edward Swartz.”

“
Jah,
I heard.” Still looking out the window, she smiled. That granddaughter of hers was certainly determined to follow her own path!

“Before we know it, she'll be leaving us. Marie said they're going to let her go to Belize when she's married. Aren't you surprised she didn't put her foot down?”

She wasn't. But she thought Marie was far smarter than Lovina had ever been. After all, all putting her foot down had done was create a chasm between her and Lorene and postpone the inevitable. “It is God's will, I think,” she said faintly.

“I'm not so sure I believe that.”

“It's not like we have a choice. Viola is a grown woman.”

Ah, there was the sun, illuminating the fields in the distance, just as if the first lights from heaven were reaching out to her in their wondrous glory.

With a grunt of exasperation, her husband walked away. She heard his boots pound along the wood floor she'd so carefully mopped yesterday. Never had he learned to take off his boots when he entered the house. Never in forty years.

She wondered why.

When the kitchen door closed and she was alone, she slowly rested her forehead on the cool pane of glass. The icy glass eased her worries, bypassing the mixed-up feelings of anger and betrayal she'd clung to for years.

Years!

Instead, with the cool glass against her skin and the growing light of the new morning shining in the distance, she felt acceptance.

Sometime between Peter finding her picture and Viola announcing that she was engaged to Edward Swartz and intended to go to Belize with him in six months time, Lovina knew she'd changed.

At sixty-four years of age, she'd finally decided to turn over a new leaf. She'd reawakened.

When she'd been sure she'd lost everything, she cast off her worries and stopped living in fear of failure. Instead, she'd dared to accept herself, and more than that, accept her imperfections.

Her forehead had gotten chilled. Leaning back, she thought of her marriage, and of her past, and of her children and grandchildren.

She thought of her home, and of past disappointments. She thought of when her children were born, and about making dresses for Sara and Lorene and Elsie and Viola.

About making dresses for Lorene's wedding.

That's when she knew the truth. Life wasn't meant to be perfect. Instead, it was a series of glorious imperfections, made better by the promise of each new day. While every night could bring regrets and disappointments, each morning the sun rose again.

All she had to do was stand up and greet the shining rays of light. And celebrate that no matter what happened, those early-morning hours were a gift, a bounty. A miracle.

It was daybreak. The moment when everything was right in the world. Simply because they were alive. Simply because they were alive to share it.

Watching the sun rise, she gave thanks. After sixty-four years, she'd finally learned to be in awe of God's power . . . and the miracle of a brand-new day.

About the author

Meet Shelley Shepard Gray

About the book

Letter from the Author

Questions for Discussion

Read on

A Sneak Peek of Shelley Shepard Gray's Next Book,
Ray of Light

Meet Shelley Shepard Gray

I
GREW UP IN
H
OUSTON
, T
EXAS,
went to Colorado for college, and after living in Arizona, Dallas, and Denver, we moved to southern Ohio about ten years ago.

I've always thought of myself as a very hard worker, but not “great” at anything. I've obtained a bachelor's and master's degree . . . but I never was a gifted student. I took years of ballet and dance, but I was never anywhere near the star of any recital. I love to cook, but I'm certainly not close to being gourmet. And finally, I love to write books, but I've certainly read far better authors.

Maybe you are a little bit like me. I've been married for almost twenty years and have raised two kids. I try to exercise but really should put on my tennis shoes a whole lot more. I'm not a great housekeeper, I hate to drive in the snow, and I don't think I've ever won a Monopoly game. However, I am the best wife and mother I know how to be.

Isn't it wonderful to know that in God's eyes that is okay? That from His point of view, we are all exceptional? I treasure that knowledge and am always so thankful for my faith. His faith in me makes me stand a little straighter, smile a little bit more, and be so very grateful for every gift He's given me.

I started writing about the Amish because their way of life appealed to me. I wanted to write stories about regular, likable people in extraordinary situations—and who just happened to be Amish.

Getting the opportunity to write inspirational novels is truly gratifying. With every book, I feel my faith grows stronger. And that makes me feel very special indeed.

Letter from the Author

Dear Reader,

What a year 2011 was for me.
The Protector
made the
New York Times
bestseller list!
The Survivor
made the
USA Today
bestseller list! My youngest child graduated from high school! What else happened? I had to go to the hospital for a sudden surgery. My mother-in-law was in intensive care for two straight weeks. Then my beautiful sister-in-law died. So did my mother. So did our fifteen-year-old beagle—the only dog my kids had ever had.

It was definitely one of the more difficult years of my family's life. Every month, when my husband and I met with our small group at church, we'd take a breath before beginning our prayer requests. We had so many.

I guess all of these unexpected events had a lot to do with the writing of this book. I vividly recall exactly where I was when Meagan from HarperCollins called to tell me about the
New York Times
list. And when my brother called to tell me about my mother's passing.

Sometimes a two-minute conversation really can change your life.

I hope you enjoyed getting to know the Keim family of Berlin, Ohio. Their complicated love for each other feels very real to me. I've also especially enjoyed the chance to return to Holmes County. I love the rolling hills, the quaint streets and shops. I love the sense of peace I feel whenever I return . . . and most of all, the many people I've met there.

The next book in the Days of Redemption series is
Ray of Light
. In it, Roman Keim is forced to choose to either become more involved in the complicated problems his family is facing . . . or to walk away from it all for a lovely woman he meets in the Amish community of Pinecraft, Florida.

Until then, I hope to see you on Facebook, on my website's blog . . . or maybe even at one of the many book signings and appearances I have planned. Thank you for reading my books and for telling your friends and family about them, too. God bless you all.

With my blessings,
Shelley Shepard Gray

 

Shelley Shepard Gray
10663 Loveland, Madeira Rd. #167,
Loveland, OH 45140

Questions for Discussion

1. The inspiration for
   Daybreak
   came from the song “Closer to Love” by Mat Kearney. There's a line in it that spoke to me: “I guess we're all one phone call from our knees.” Have you ever had a moment in your life when an unexpected phone call, email, or letter brought you to your knees?
   
2. I couldn't really fault Viola for not understanding Ed's need to do mission work in foreign countries— she'd never been out of Holmes County, Ohio. Where is the farthest that you've traveled? How has that experience changed your perspective about other places? About your own hometown?
   
3. Peter's dependency on alcohol was difficult to write about. However, I wanted to add his storyline after reading an ad in
   The Budget
   for an alcohol and drug treatment center catering to the Amish and Mennonites. It showed me that no single group of people is completely immune to addictions. Why do you think that is? How would this kind of addiction be different in a community like the Amish?
   
4. How would Atle Swartz's life have been different if he'd never gone to Daybreak Retirement Home? If Ed had never left Berlin?
   
5. If Lovina had been open about her past, do you think her children would have chosen different paths? What might have changed?
   
6. Have you ever gone on a mission with your church or another community group? How has the experience influenced you?
   
7. Ed feels that God meant for him to work in the mission field. I've often felt that God meant for me to write. What gifts has the Lord given you that were meant to be used for His glory?
   
8. I really enjoyed writing about Lorene and John's romance. What do you think would have happened to them if they'd gotten together ten years ago? How can something be sweeter when you have to wait for it?