The Dawn of a Dream (34 page)

Lily snickered. “You and your books.”

Papa swung his feet to the floor. “Go study, Lulie.” He drew a breath. “Education is never wasted.”

Lily settled in a chair next to the window, her wire hoops clicking together as she sat. “Edmund says it’s wasted on women.”

When had her sister turned into such a ninny? Luellen shook her head, tired of listening to Edmund’s pronouncements. “I’ll be in the dining room. Call me if David gets fussy.”

Out of the corner of her eye, she saw the station hackney coach stop in front of the house. A tall man wearing a loose-fitting black coat stepped out. When he faced the house, Luellen’s heart jumped. “James is here!”

She ran down the front steps. James’s face broke into a grin when he saw her. “Lulie.” He grabbed her under the arms and lifted her for a kiss on the cheek.

Once back on the ground, she smiled up at his moustached face. “I’d forgotten you were so tall.”

“Six foot four. I take after the McGarvie side.” He lifted his bags. “I got here as fast as I could. How’s Papa? Is he—?”

“He’s better, praise God.” She pointed at the open front door where their parents stood. “See for yourself.”

Upon reaching the veranda, he dropped his luggage and bent to embrace Papa.

When James straightened, Papa had tears on his cheeks. “I haven’t been . . . this happy in years. All our children . . . home at once.” He turned to Mama. “I should get sick . . . more often.” A grin hovered at the corners of his mouth.

James scrutinized Papa’s face. “You need to get off your feet. Your color looks good, but it sounds like you’re not getting enough air. Who’s the doctor in charge? What’s his diagnosis?” He pointed at a black satchel. “I have my medical bag with me. Once I get settled, I’d like to examine you.”

Papa’s face glowed. “It would be my privilege, Dr. McGarvie.”

That night, Papa joined the family at the supper table. Luellen and Belle bustled back and forth from the kitchen, serving stewed hen with dumplings, boiled greens, and applesauce.

James leaned back in his chair. “After a week of eating in hotels and railroad depots, this meal is ambrosia. You’ve always been a gifted cook, Lulie.”

She patted his shoulder. “Thank you—but Belle deserves equal credit.”

Belle dropped a mock curtsy. “My pleasure. It’s a joy to meet the brother I’ve heard so much about.”

“You’ll have the opportunity in the future to form your own opinion.” James placed his hand on Papa’s wrist. “I told my colleagues in Philadelphia I was leaving. I’d always planned to come home and join your practice. When I got Mama’s telegram, I prayed I hadn’t waited too long.”

“I don’t know what to say.” Papa took a deep breath. “This has been my hope . . . since you went to medical college.”

Mama burst into tears. “Thank you, son.” Her voice caught on a sob. “You can’t know how happy you’ve made us.”

Luellen sank into a chair and pulled David onto her lap. James home to stay? Papa’s blue eyes shone. She imagined she could see him growing stronger by the moment.

Excited conversation swirled around her. Under her lashes, she studied each sibling in turn. They’d all found their places in life—Franklin a saddlemaker, happy with Belle; Lily seemingly content with stuffy Edmund; James a doctor, joining Papa’s practice—she was the only one still drifting. Without a teaching certificate, was she doomed to eke out a living as a tutor in Beldon Grove?

Luellen snapped her history text shut. Since she arrived home, she’d read through her course material more than once. Next week seniors at Allenwood would take their final examinations in preparation for Friday’s commencement. She’d been so close.

Mama strolled in from the kitchen and took a chair opposite Luellen. “The house is quiet with Franklin and Lily back in Springfield.”

“David makes up for their absence.”

“He has been fussy, hasn’t he?”

Luellen winced. Mama didn’t look pleased. “I hope he hasn’t disturbed your rest.”

“Well, last night I confess Papa and I were both awakened.”

“James, too, I imagine. He looked tired at breakfast.” She scooped her books into a stack on one corner of the dining room table. “I don’t think my presence is helping Papa now that he’s up and around. Having James with him spares him house visits at all hours, but my son interrupting his sleep could cause a setback.” She massaged her temples. “I don’t know how to keep David quiet. He’s cutting a new tooth and he’s cranky as a bear.” Luellen pointed up the stairs. “Except now, while he’s napping.”

Mama smiled at her, sympathy in her eyes. “I well remember pacing the floor with you children when you were babies.” She glanced at the stack of books. “Isn’t graduation next week?”

Surprised at the change of subject, Luellen nodded.

“Have you thought about returning? There’s time.”

Luellen stared at her mother. “You must be clairvoyant. How did you know?”

“I know you. You’re not one to leave a job unfinished—especially after working as hard as you have.” Mama leaned across the table. “You can take Saturday’s train and be there for examinations. Papa and I will buy your ticket as a gift. We’ll never forget you were willing to forsake your dream for us.”

The weight of Luellen’s disappointment took wing, leaving her buoyant with relief. She scrambled to her feet. “Thank you for believing in me.” She planted a kiss on Mama’s cheek.

“You’ve found what you were born to do.” Mama gave her a mock shove. “Now go do it.”

Luellen grabbed her books and ran up the stairs. Her mind raced ahead to Dr. Alexander’s warning that she not ask for any more favors. One more time. It wouldn’t hurt to try.

What if Mrs. Hawks found someone to replace her? Where would she stay? Just go, she told herself, remembering a verse from the book of Joshua.
Put your foot in the waters and they will stand up in a heap.

James drove her to the station on a balmy May morning. “I wish we could all be there for your graduation.”

Luellen’s initial excitement rolled into a knot of anxiety. “You can’t be sure I’ll persuade the registrar to let me sit for the examinations.”

The corners of his moustache twitched. “You could persuade a fish to walk on land if you wanted to. You’ve always had your own way.”

“Even when I was wrong,” she said, thinking of Brendan.

James tapped the back of her hand. “Sometimes wrongs turn out right. Life’s not in our hands, is it?”

A column of smoke appeared on the southern horizon. Allenwood grew more real with every rotation of the approaching iron wheels. The knot in her stomach twisted tighter. Dr. Alexander could say no as easily as he might say yes. As James said—the decision wasn’t in her hands.

After he set the brake on the buggy, she leaned against him. “I’m frightened.”

“So was I. I threw up before every examination—worried I’d fail and disappoint Papa and Mama.”

“You? I thought you sailed through.”

“More like rowed into a headwind.” He smiled at her. “You can do it. McGarvies are tough.”

The locomotive whooshed as it came to a stop. James carried David on his shoulders, depositing him inside the vestibule of the passenger car. Luellen gripped her son’s hand. “I’ll let you know what happens.”

“I already know. Next Friday you’ll leave Allenwood with a teaching certificate folded in that bag of yours.”

As the train rolled north, her brother’s words repeated in her head with every click of the wheels. She drew a textbook from her valise. She’d use the time to review chemistry formulas.

Luellen trailed the omnibus driver onto Mrs. Hawks’s porch. In the twilight, the house appeared gray and unwelcoming. He lowered her trunk to the floor. “You sure someone’s here? We got hotels in town.”

She shifted David to her hip and handed the driver the fare, compensating him with an extra coin for handling her heavy trunk. “I’ve been here before. The landlady’s probably in the kitchen.” She prayed she was right.

“I’ll be back this way later. Wave me down if there’s no one home. G’night, ma’am.”

After the omnibus rolled away, Luellen stood for a moment, then rapped on the door frame. To her relief, she heard footsteps approaching.

“Glory be, you’re back.” Mrs. Hawks pulled her close. “How’s your father?”

“Better, praise God. My oldest brother’s a doctor—he’s with my parents now.” She took a deep breath. “I hope I can stay here until graduation.”

“You’d make me happy if you stayed longer than that.” Mrs. Hawks took a sleepy David from her and led the way into the kitchen. “I’ll have one of the boarders fetch your trunk off the porch tomorrow morning.”

“Is Brendan—Mr. O’Connell—still here?”

“He’s been in Chicago this past week—just got back yesterday.” Mrs. Hawks raised an eyebrow. “He’s a charmer, that one. You want to be careful.” She chuckled. “Guess I don’t have to tell you. ‘Once burned, twice shy,’ eh?”

“Indeed.”
Chicago.
Furious with herself, Luellen marched into the little room off the kitchen. She dropped her valise beside the washstand and rolled her shoulders to loosen the tension that seized her muscles. Would she never learn?

Mrs. Hawks lowered David to the floor. “This little one is asleep on his feet. We’ll talk in the morning.” She eased the door shut behind her.

Luellen had finished unpacking her valise when she heard a knock at the door. She opened it a crack.

“I’m sorry to disturb you, dear.” Mrs. Hawks handed her three envelopes. “These all came on the same day, soon after you left. It’s a good thing I hadn’t got around to taking them back to the post office—otherwise they’d be going to Beldon Grove and you’d be here.”

Luellen’s hands tingled when she saw Ward’s careful script. “Oh, thank you.”

“Good night.” The latch clicked.

As soon as David was tucked into the crib, she scanned the postmarks. They’d been stamped in St. Louis on the same date in April. But when she opened the envelopes, she noticed Ward had written the first one shortly after he arrived at Fort Hook in January. Puzzled, she checked the next two. The second was dated in late February, the third in mid-April. The envelopes looked grimy. Where had they been all this time? Had he received her letters?

Blinking away tears, Luellen moved the candle closer to the edge of the washstand.
I wish he’d never gone to Kansas.
She read the January missive slowly, hearing Ward’s voice in her mind. He described his journey, the Army post, and went into detail about the quarters he’d been assigned.

. . . The other officers have wives. I envy them when I enter this cold house every night.

Yours sincerely,

Ward

She unfolded the next letter. More about the post and the bitter weather. Ward told of a wagonload of immigrants arriving with typhus, and the measures he’d taken to prevent it from spreading among the troops. He concluded,

I think of you often and wish you would write.

Yours fondly,

Ward

Luellen lifted the April message, hoping to learn he’d received some of her letters. Spring had arrived in the hills around the post, he wrote. The men were busy preparing for a visit from a general, scheduled to take place toward the end of May.

You must be too occupied with your studies to write. I find myself thinking of you more and more.

Your devoted

Ward

She pressed the paper to her chest. Poor Ward, on that post thinking she’d dismissed him from her life. Luellen reread each message, then folded the pages and tucked them under the pillow. She’d wait to reply until after she met with Dr. Alexander.

She heard footsteps in the kitchen and a soft tap at her door.
What else did Mrs. Hawks forget?
Tucking her loose hair behind her ears, she turned the knob. “Did you—”

Brendan stood in a shaft of moonlight. “I heard you and the landlady talking earlier. I couldn’t wait to see you.” He stroked one of the curls that fell over her shoulders. “Ah, that lovely hair.”

Luellen slapped his hand away. “Don’t touch me.”

He took a step backward, an injured expression on his face. “One minute we’re friends, now you strike me. Why?”

“How was Chicago, Brendan?” Luellen closed the space between them until she was less than a foot from his face. She planted her hands on her hips. “Did you have a fine visit with your wife?”

His face darkened. “Don’t get high and mighty. That lad in there says to me you’re not all that hard to come by.”

“He’s your son.” The pulse in her throat threatened to choke her. Why did she tell him?

“Hah! Don’t try to stick me with your brat. I know your kind.”

Vibrating with anger, Luellen clenched her fists. “Get out. Out of this kitchen, out of my life.” She put a hand on his chest and shoved. “I never want to lay eyes on you again.”

“That makes two of us, dolly.” He punched the swinging door open and stamped upstairs.

She watched him go with narrowed eyes. Tomorrow, she’d ask Mrs. Hawks to evict him. Tonight, she’d block her door.

The next morning, Mrs. Hawks bustled into the kitchen where Luellen stood stirring flapjack batter. “The boarders will be down soon—except for Mr. O’Connell. I sent him on his way.” She gathered a stack of plates and carried them to the dining table.

Luellen paused at her task. With the poison of Brendan out of her system, she felt as though she’d recovered from a lengthy illness. “Thank you. You’re a blessing.”

“And he’s a snake. We’re both better off without him.”

Luellen placed a cast-iron griddle on the stove. “After church, I’d like to see Leah for a few minutes. I’m counting on her help with David this coming week.”

A shadow crossed the landlady’s face. “Leah’s gone. I was going to tell you after breakfast.”

“What?” Luellen turned, mouth agape.

“She left last week.”

“For Canada?”

“I hope so.”

“How did she—”

“She accompanied Elsie Garmon as her traveling companion, of all things. You’d never think that old woman had it in her, but evidently Leah’s plight touched her stony heart. Elsie told me she would see Leah all the way to Buxton.” Mrs. Hawks carried the bowl to the stove and spooned batter onto the griddle.

“Buxton?” For a fleeting moment, Luellen remembered Betsy. “Leah was miserable here. I’m thankful for her sake that she’s going to be with her family.” Luellen hugged her arms around her waist. “But what will I do with David tomorrow?”

“Leave him here. I can manage for one day.” She reached into a drawer and handed Luellen an envelope. “Leah left this for you. She said you’d know what to do with it.”