The Dating Game (12 page)

“I—I guess I’ll call someone to come pick me up.” Mads’ phone beeped at that moment. It was M.C., calling to check on her. Mads took a few steps away from Sean for privacy. Maybe he had to know her mother was picking her up, but he didn’t have to hear her ask for it.

“Sorry, Mom—can you come back and get me?” Mads said, choking back tears.

“Of course, honey. Is everything all right?”

“It’s fine. But Sean called at the last minute and said he couldn’t make it. We’re going to reschedule.”

“I’ll be right there.”

“Um, I have to wait for her at Prescott’s,” Mads told Sean. “She doesn’t like me to go to bars.”

“I’ll go over there and wait with you,” Sean said.

They perched on a picnic table under a yellow plastic awning and watched the cars swish by in the drizzle. Mads hoped at least they’d get to talk for a few minutes while they waited, but Sean’s cell phone rang. He answered it and started talking to his friend Alex. Mads sat and listened. “Dude, the Pinetop’s pretty quiet tonight,” Sean said over the phone. “But you should come by. That cute girl from Mill Valley is there. …”

Her mother pulled up in the Volvo, windshield wipers flapping. “That her?” Sean said. “The drug-dealing stripper?”

“Yeah. Thanks, Sean. See you around.”

“See you.” He nodded at M.C. through the window. Mads got up and ran to the passenger door and climbed inside. M.C. had the radio on, new wave oldies.

“Who’s that boy?” M.C. asked. “I thought Sean didn’t show up.”

“That’s just a friend of mine from school,” Mads said. “Can we go home now?”

M.C. peered into Mads’ face. “Is everything okay, honey? Are you disappointed about your date?”

Mads tried to turn her features to stone. She didn’t feel like breaking down over this in front of her mother. It would only add to the embarrassment.

“Honey?”

“No, Mom,” she snapped. “Don’t get all touchy-feely with me. Can we just go, please?”

“Sorry. Sorry. Sorry.” M.C. backed up the Volvo, pulled out into the street, and drove Madison home. Mads glanced back. Sean had already disappeared into the bar.

linaonme: he should have taken you somewhere else.

Someplace it’s not illegal for you to set foot in.

hollygolitely: he’s an asshole.

mad4u: no he’s not! I love him. even if he’s an asshole. But he’s wrong about me. I’m not too young for him!

linaonme: all right! Fight for your man!

mad4u: u know what the problem is? I’m not experienced enough. That’s what it is! He can see it on my face! he can tell I’m a virgin!

hollygolitely: I think you’re giving him too much credit.

mad4u: no. the questionnaires proved it. everybody else in school has way more experience than me. now it’s my turn. I’m going to show Sean I’m not some little kid. I’m a mature, sensual woman. Or I will be, as soon as I get a little experience. It will show on my face. Right?

linaonme: brilliant idea mads, sure to work.

hollygolitely: it’s totally crackpot.

mad4u: doubters. You’ll see. I’ll become a woman, and sean won’t be able to resist me. the only question is, how do I do it?

Mads logged onto the Dating Game chat room, using the screen name snow_white.

snow_white: students of rsage! I need your help. I’m a 15-year-old girl and I’m a virgin! I need some experience—now! what’s the best way to hook up with a boy?

r2d2: why don’t you just walk around naked?

digger90: who are you? I’ll take care of your little problem.

simsfan2: I know a secret potion that will make any boy fall in love with you. mix pomegranate juice with 3 cloves, a pinch of nutmeg, and 3 hairs from a burmese cat. Heat it on the stove. Spit in it. Add jello mix. Raspberry only. Refrigerate for 3 days. On the third day, chant this spell over the bowl—heema hama heema hair i. Serve to your victim. He will become your love slave.

digger90: What are you, ugly?

tanaquil: go up to the boy you like and lick his hand, it’s an animal signal. His primal urges will come out but he won’t know what’s happening to him.

roto: call him on the phone late at night, breathing heavily.

Don’t tell him who you are at first. His imagination will start to go crazy. He’ll have to have you.

breaker 19: wear those super-low-cut jeans and a tiny top. Shouldn’t take too long.

redmenace: find a really desperate boy, close your eyes, hold your nose, and think of viggo mortensen.

digger90: just pick a guy and lunge.

Digger90 made more sense than anyone
, Mads thought.
Just pick a guy and go for it
. Why not? The perfect opportunity was less than a week away. Mariska Frasier’s party on Saturday night. It was no big deal—Mariska was a sophomore, so Sean would only show up if there was nothing better to do that night. But it was a good chance to put some of this advice to the test.

11

Hot for Teacher

To:     linaonme

From: Your daily horoscope

HERE IS TODAY’S HOROSCOPE: CANCER: The bad news: Today you will sink to a new low. The good news: You won’t hit rock bottom—for a few weeks.

A
ll right, Karl, let’s hear your latest proposal.” Dan leaned against the front of his desk with his patient face on, but Lina could tell he was struggling. Karl Levine still hadn’t decided what to do for his IHD project. Dan had rejected all his ideas so far, with good reason: they were all dumb, and most were illegal. Spying on his sister in the bathroom, putting a camera in the girls’ locker room, trying to get a date with his mother’s manicurist. Lina felt sorry for Dan that he had to pretend to tolerate so much stupidity. At the same time, she admired him for keeping his cool.

Karl stood up and cleared his throat. “Okay, here’s my proposal: I buy a blow-up sex doll. Her name is Friendly Fanny. I put her in the front seat of my car and drive down the highway during rush hour
in the HOV lane
. You know, that lane where you have to have at least two people in the car or you get a ticket? And see if I get away with it.”

He sat down with a smug grin on his face. He was unshame-able.

A pained look crossed Dan’s face. He sighed and stood up. He turned away from the class and rubbed his temples. When he turned around again, his face was composed.

“Sorry, Karl. Rejected. Look, forget about spying on people and blow-up dolls and think of a real research project. If you need help, come speak to me after class. But do it soon. You’d better settle on a project by next Friday or you’re in danger of failing this class.”

Lina was glad to see Dan come down hard on Karl—it was about time. The first semester he’d been all smiley and buddy-buddy, but this semester seemed to be taking a toll on him. He had a new crease across his forehead. Lina worried about him. He was stressed.

Dan glanced at a paper on his desk. “Okay, let’s hear from ‘Grupo Ocho.’ Ramona, Chandra, Siobhan, and Maggie.”

Lina braced herself. Ramona’s group was doing a project on fashion and the use of clothes to send sexual signals, but they had gotten a little off-track. Basically they looked at what people in various cliques wore and dissed them.

Ramona read from her paper. “This week Grupo Ocho found that the most popular girls in the school are all mindless followers. For example, if a girl who is not in their group tries a fashion innovation—that is, wears something new and experimental, like an earring made out of her little sister’s bloody baby tooth—the popular girls ignore it. But if their lead girl wears something just as unusual—”

Or gross
, Lina thought.

“—like a bracelet made of safety pins, all her friends copy her right away. In conclusion, it doesn’t matter what you’re wearing. What matters is
who’s wearing it.”

Ooh. Deep
, Holly scribbled in the margin of Lina’s notebook.

“Uh, all right, good,” Dan said. “I have a suggestion, Grupo Ocho. Your project would be greatly enhanced by drawings or photos. So everyone could see the fashion examples you write about in your report. What do you think?”

“That’s a brilliant idea, Dan,” Ramona said. “We’ll definitely do that.” She beamed at him. Her friends did too, but Ramona was clearly the most far-gone. It made Lina sick.

Mads made a jokey face at Lina, pursing her lips and moving them ever so slightly, mimicking suck-up Ramona. Lina thought it was funny but couldn’t bring herself to laugh. Watching Ramona was like seeing herself in a funhouse mirror—her own feelings for Dan, distorted. But there was still truth in that distorted reflection. Lina and Ramona had different styles but the same core—they both loved Dan. It drove Lina crazy.

Lina unlocked her bike at the end of the school day and pedaled across the parking lot. A car pulled in front of her and she stopped and glanced back. Dan knelt by the bike rack, unlocking his own bike. He was leaving school earlier than usual. Lina wondered where he was going. Home? Off to do errands?

He strapped on his helmet and biked away in the opposite direction, down the front walk leading away from the school entrance. Lina didn’t think. She just followed him.

It was easy. He never looked back. She stayed half a block behind him as he rode down Rosewood Avenue toward the water. Down the hill, right on Rutgers Street to a waterfront café called the Bayside. A gray, weather-beaten boardwalk lined with benches ran along the water, separating the cafe from the piers.

Dan locked his bike at a rack in front of the cafe. He scanned the outdoor deck and waved at a good-looking dark-haired woman sitting alone at a table under a heat lamp. He leaped up three steps to the deck and joined her.

Lina walked her bike to a bench across from the café. She leaned the bike against the bench and sat down. She told herself she was tired from the fifteen-minute bike ride from school to the waterfront, but she knew that was a lie. Now that she’d started this spying thing, she had to see it through to the end. Who was the woman? His girlfriend? A date? His sister? Just a friend?

She rummaged through her backpack, found her sunglasses, and put them on, hoping they’d be enough of a disguise to keep him from noticing her. Not that there seemed to be any danger of that. Since he’d sat down, he’d barely taken his eyes off the dark-haired girl.

Lina studied her carefully. She definitely wasn’t his sister. She was about his age, twenty-three or twenty-four, and her almost-black hair brushed her collarbone, shiny and thick with a slight wave. A cream-colored sweater was tied over her shoulders and large, dark, expensive-looking sunglasses perched on top of her head. She sat back in her wicker chair, comfortable and confident, chatting easily. Dan leaned forward, listening to her closely and nodding.

Lina wished she could get closer to hear what they were saying. Should she try to get a table at the café? No, Dan would definitely notice her then and feel uncomfortable.

The woman stood up. She picked up a large leather bag and walked inside the café. Probably going to the ladies’ room. Lina got a glimpse of her whole outfit then—a cream-colored knit tank top that matched her sweater, which she pulled on over the tank top now, a chunky gold necklace, a pair of neat white pants, and high heeled sandals. Everything looked expensive to Lina’s eye, and she knew expensive clothes. Her mother had a closet full of them.

While the woman was gone, Dan gazed out toward the water. Lina stood up and walked her bike away, afraid he’d spot her. She went to a coffee stand and got a coffee to go. When she returned to her spying spot on the bench, the woman was back from the bathroom. A waiter set drinks in front of them.

Lina sipped her hot coffee while she watched. Now the date didn’t seem to be going so well. The woman wasn’t talking as much as she did at first. The uncomfortable silences between her and Dan grew longer. Could this be a first date—or a blind date? Lina thought back to her own last date, with Walker. The awkwardness she saw between Dan and this woman looked awfully familiar.

Something fluttered to Lina’s left, a flap of black fabric. She turned to see a pasty-faced Ramona lurking nearby, huddled under a black cape. Lina nearly dropped her coffee. She was caught! No, she’d deny it. There was no law against sitting on a bench by the bay drinking coffee on a Friday afternoon.

“Spying again?” Ramona sneered.

“What are you doing here?” Lina asked.

“I’ve been lurking by the newsstand for a while now,” she said. “If I sat right out in the open like you, Dan would notice me for sure. Of course, I stand out more than you do.”

Yeah, but not in a good way
, Lina thought.

“What about you?” Lina asked. “Are
you
spying?”

“I don’t think of it as spying,” Ramona said. “When one loves as I do, fully, deeply, completely—one cannot be blamed for anything one does, for it is all in the service of the highest of human aspirations—true spiritual communion.”

Lina rolled her eyes. Ramona sat down beside her. “Aren’t you afraid he’ll see you?” Lina asked.

“Not anymore. He’s totally into this chick. Luckily for me, she doesn’t like him that much. I mean, luckily for us.” She cast a meaningful look at Lina, who cringed. There was no denying she’d had the same thought.

“Look—she’s leaving,” Lina said as the woman stood up and grabbed her bag. Dan stood up politely. She shook his hand. Not even a peck on the cheek.

“She’s leaving him to pay the check,” Ramona noted. The woman strode down the steps and down the walk toward the waterway path where the girls sat watching her. She cast a dismissive glance at Dan’s bike, the only one locked to the rack by the steps.

“Superficial bitch,” Ramona muttered. Lina had to agree.

The woman walked around to a parking lot next to the café. She pressed her key ring—her car alarm deactivated with a
squawk
—got into a Mercedes convertible and drove off.