The Dating Deal (9 page)

I knew I should be an Ice Queen to him.  I knew I should be cold, contemptuous. After all, he had hurt me.  Hurt me so, so, so bad.  But the way he gazed at me melted my heart. 

“Look, we need talk,” he said.  “I’ll call you later.”

“Uh … okay.”

And then he was gone, out of the church.  And I was left wondering, what just happened?  I had a strange, excited pang in my heart or stomach or … somewhere.  But I knew I was being stupid.  Stupid, stupid, stupid. 
Don’t get excited for his call
!  I scolded myself.  He dumped you.  He hurt you.  Don’t be a puppy dog.  Be an Ice Queen.

But I didn’t feel like an Ice Queen.

When I found Trent, he was already out in the hall.  “You came!” I told him excitedly.

“Yeah,” he smiled at my excitement.  “Sister Springsteed gave Wendy an assignment last week.  A scripture to study and talk about in class today.  And, well, Wendy wanted to come and do the assignment.”

“Oh.”  I should have known.  He’d come for Wendy.  But that didn’t change anything.  I was still thrilled that he came.

Trent grinned, looking sheepish.  “I have an assignment too.”

That made me laugh.  It was so sweet, to think of him, Trent Ryan, sharing a scripture with his classmates, a pack of ten-year-olds.  I wished I could be there.

“So, your boyfriend seems to want you back,” Trent said, putting his hands in his front pockets.  “But are you sure you want him back?  Megan, you’re too good for that guy.”

All day Sunday I waited for a call that never came.  And I was so pathetic, spending the entire day wondering what I was going to tell Conner.  Would I forgive him?  Would I take him back?  He’d have to actually beg me, I’d told myself.

And then he never called.

Hmm.

Monday, I saw him at his locker, with Laura.  And the pain hurt all over again.  What kind of game was he playing?  I didn’t know.  Didn’t understand.  But I didn’t want any part of it.  It hurt too much.

“Jerk!” I muttered under my breath, fighting back tears.

Just then I noticed Aspen watching me from her group of friends.  She had her usual wicked smirk on her face.  I turned away, like I hadn’t noticed.

No way was I going to let her see me cry.  I started gabbing animatedly with three Madrigals nearby.  I laughed hysterically with them, as though I didn’t have a care in the world, as though I didn’t have a knife in my back.

*  *  *  *  *

Tuesday was even worse, because I actually ran right into Conner and Laura.  Literally.  They were coming out of the library as I was going in.  Conner accidentally smacked me in the head with the door. 

“Oh, Megan, geez, I’m sorry,” he said, sounding truly contrite.

For what
?  I wondered.  For hitting me with the door or being a jerk?

He helped me to a bench, and then examined my head.  “You’re going to have a bump.”

Oh good
, I thought, still seeing stars. 
That’ll look pretty for the dance.

At least now I’d actually have a physical wound, one that could be seen.  For once, visual evidence of the pain Conner caused me.

“She’s fine,” Laura said, seeming angry at the way Conner was fussing over me.  He was being … tender.  “Come on.  We’re going to be late.” 

“You go ahead,” Conner said.  “I’m going to take her to the nurse.”

Laura put her hands on her hips, looking ready to explode.  She opened her mouth as though she was going to protest, loudly.  But then she didn’t.  Instead she huffed away.

I told Conner I didn’t want to go to the nurse, I just wanted to get to class.

Conner tried talking me out of it, saying I could have a concussion.  “I’ll just walk you to the nurse’s office,” he said.  “She should look at you, Megan.  Just to make sure you’re alright.” 

When his cajoling didn’t work, he sighed.  “Wait here.”

He bought a soda from the vending machine. 

I blinked.

Did he think he could buy me off with a soda?  Well, I was kind of thirsty.  But then, he didn’t even offer it to me.  Instead he placed the cold can on my injured head. 

“The coldness should keep down the swelling,” he said, still looking concerned.

He was being so kind and doing that tender thing.  It was nice.  But actually, it made me feel like crying.  Why did I still like him so much?  Why?  Why couldn’t I just
stop
liking him?

“Remember that morning we hiked up to the peak to watch the sunrise?” he said softly.

I nodded, feeling tears rush to my eyes.  Why did he have to bring
that
up?  Why now?  It sure wasn’t going to help me stop liking him.  Far from it.  It was only going to rip out my heart.  Tear it to shreds.

That day had been great.  Magical.  We had packed a breakfast and ate it at the top of the mountain.  We had stayed up there all day, never wanting to come down.

“I think about that day a lot.”  He smiled wryly.  “It was, like, the best day of my life.”

We both sat silent a moment, reflecting.

“I’m sorry I didn’t call,” he murmured.

“Not a big deal,” I said, rising to my feet, though the world kind of twirled around me.  “I need to get to class.”

I hobbled away, holding the can to my head—an Ice Queen.

*  *  *  *  *

Conner had me mega confused.  What did he want?  He didn’t seem to know.  So how could I possibly figure it out?  It left me feeling vulnerable.  One minute he was looking at me with longing in his eyes, talking about the past, the next he was kissing Laura.

I tried to get him out of my head.  Tried getting
everything
out of my head.

My head hurt.

It had an ugly black and blue bump on it.

And when I got home from work, I was tired.  Beat.  That’s probably why I didn’t notice Brian Abbott’s Honda parked across the street when I pulled into the driveway. 

“Hi!” he said as soon as I opened my car door.

“Ahhhggg!” I jumped about a mile in the air. 

I’d been forcing practices on him like a mad woman.  So now, I tried not to hold it against him that he almost gave me a heart attack.  After all, I owed him big time.

“Brian, what—what are you doing here?” I tried to smile and act friendly, as though it was perfectly normal to see him at my house in the middle of the night.  But it wasn’t, and it kind of freaked me out, a little.

“Raven and I—we had a big fight,” Brian said.  “She just doesn’t understand me.”  Brian gave my arm a squeeze.  “Not the way you do.”

Huh?!

I took a step away from him, realizing I’d brought this on myself.  I had been heaping compliments on him like crazy, telling him how smart he was, what a great singer he was.  And I’d been listening to all of his long, drawn out stories as though he was the most fascinating person on earth. 

But I’d felt like I had to.  Like, I owed it to him.  I mean, I made him practice
all
the time, all semester long.  I’d made him practice, practice, practice.  But now that the competition was actually approaching, I may have gone a little overboard, even for me.

Okay, so I began worrying about that once Raven started in with her dirty looks.  And, yeah, I noticed Brian starting to act a little strange around me, too; sort of flirty-like.  It was weird.  So yes, I did
sort of
start to worry that I was giving him the wrong impression.  That maybe all my desperate demands for practices seemed a little excessive.  Like maybe they left him thinking I was trying to find excuses to get close to him.

I would have backed off.  I would have.  Only I really, really wanted to win.  I
needed
it.  Like I said, I think it had something subconscious to do with losing Conner.  But I didn’t take the time to analyze it.  All I knew was, I
had
to win. 

I’d thought about having a heart-to-heart with Brian.  But I kind of kept telling myself I didn’t need to.  That I was imagining things.  After all, we were in honor choir together.  And I
did
always stress that I wanted to win, and he had a girlfriend.  He had to know I wasn’t coming on to him, right?

Wrong, I guess.

The next words out of his mouth were, “I can’t stop thinking about you.”

I blinked. 

Brian used to visually cringe whenever he saw me coming, because he knew what I always wanted—to practice.  Hence, the cookies and compliments and listening and stuff.  Obviously, these were more powerful tools than I’d realized.

I stared at Brian.

It was late.  I was tired.  And I knew what I had to do.  “Brian,” I said, “did you know I’m a Mormon?”

“Uh, yeah.  I’d heard something about that,” he said, sounding confused, as though wondering why I was bringing it up.  So, I enlightened him.

“Well, I don’t drink or go to parties.  And the boys I date can’t drink or go to parties and they have to be Mormon.”  I looked at him inquisitively.  “Do you want me to send the missionaries over to your house?”

Brian took a step back.  “Uh, well, no.  I don’t think so.”

“No?”  I tried to sound disappointed.  After all, I still needed him to be my partner.  “Well, that’s okay, I guess.  I understand.  You and Raven make a really cute couple.”

Brian looked confused.  “Thanks.”

My work here finished, I started for the house, but then turned back.  “Why don’t you invite Raven to our next practice?” I said, feeling inspired.  “How about tomorrow morning before school?”

Raven came to our next duet practice, but she
still
gave me dirty looks.  I tried to put myself in her shoes, though.  After all, I remembered how unhappy I was when Conner and I were still together and he started spending so much time with Laura.  Let me tell you, I was one scowling puppy.

But still, I was bummed.  Discouraged.  I’d thought inviting Raven to come to our practices would help, but it didn’t.  She and Brian argued the whole time.  About everything.  It was like watching a bad made-for T.V. movie—a lame one that you’d change the channel on, only the remote is clear across the room and you’re mega tired. But it seemed too contrived.  No one in true life could fight
that
much.

Only, apparently, they could.

Because they did.

And it was bringing me down.  Big time.

“Don’t you think we’re way better than the last time you saw us?” I asked Raven, trying to get rid of the thick, dark cloud hovering in the room.  Trying to bring in a little light.

She rolled her eyes.  “Yeah.  I guess.”

I smiled broadly, acting as though she had exclaimed, “Oh yes!  You’re great!”

“Me too!” I said enthusiastically.

Raven just rolled her eyes again. 

When the bell finally rang for class, I practically did cartwheels I was so excited to get away. 
Free!  Free!  At last free!
 

“See ya,” I said, and ran for the door. 

*  *  *  *  *

Trent raised his eyebrows when he saw me at lunch.  “What happened to you?”

I put my hand over the huge, black bruise on my forehead.  “Conner did it.”

I was explaining yesterday’s episode when Caitlin passed by.  Of course, she stopped to shoot the breeze, being as cheerful as always. 

“I know this isn’t really happening, Trent,” she said.  “You suddenly changing so much.  Suddenly going to school dances and dating ‘Megan the Mormon.’”  She was about to march away, but then turned back, saying it again, “Megan the Mormon!”  She huffed it as though it was inconceivable.  “What are you going to do, Trent?” she sneered.  “Stop drinking and start going to church?”