The Darkness Within (3 page)

Freya’s mobile went off. She took a moment to read the message. ‘Excuse me guys a minute.’ She headed outside before they could say a thing. She walked a block down the road and finally into an alley.

‘Hi, Allen,’ she greeted the man.

‘Freya, you well?’

‘Yes. You have my stuff?’

‘For you? Always darling.’

‘Hand it over.’ She pulled out some twenty pound notes and handed them over.

Allen checked to make sure it was the right amount. ‘Great. Here you go!’

‘Excellent. Great doing business with you.’

Freya left him and walked back to the club. She headed straight for the toilet and locked herself in a cubicle. Within seconds the white powder was on a compact mirror and being snorted up into her nose. Freya sat back and looked up at the ceiling while she let the drugs do their magic. Once she was satisfied she took another snort of the white powder and looked up again. As she looked up she smiled. Her world suddenly felt right again. She felt in control again and nothing would defeat her ever again. With that new sense of security Freya left the cubicle on a high. She smiled at the women who had just come in and headed back for her friends.

‘Where are the fucking drinks!’

‘Right, clearly you’re fucked out of your mind,’ said Loretta. ‘I’m calling your sister.’

‘Don’t you dare! I’m fine. I’m just having fun. What’s crawled up your butt and died.’

‘I’m worried about you.’

‘Would everyone just stop worrying about me. Can’t you see, I’m fine and happy. Wouldn’t you rather see me happy?’

‘Yes but happy because you’re really happy not because you’re pumping with drugs.’

‘What makes you think I’m on drugs. Ladies!’

‘It’s so obvious. You’ve been away a good fifteen minutes and you’re as high as a kite.’

‘Fuck you both.’ She headed off to the dance floor where she remained for most of the night. The only thing that forced her home was that the nightclub was closing. As she stumbled out she found her father waiting for her.

‘Dad? What are you doing here?’

‘I’m here to make sure you get home safe that’s all.’ It broke his heart that soon after her discharge she was back to square one, but he had to protect her no matter what. She had to help herself, but he had to make sure she was fine.

‘I’m fine dad.’

‘No you’re not, now come on love.’ He took her by the arm and led her to the car. He turned away and wiped his eyes a moment to make sure she didn’t see he was crying. Crying for his girl. Hoping and praying she’d be okay.

They got to the car five minutes later. Nicholas opened the passenger door and helped Freya in. The minute her head hit the back of the chair she passed out. Nicholas knew that would happen and couldn’t imagine it happening in a taxi. God only knew what would’ve happened. He was grateful to Loretta for calling Amanda, who in turn called him. He would never abandon her no matter how drunk she was or how much it hurt him. He was hopeful that one day she would change.

****

‘Darling, you’re home.’ He shook her gently.

Freya opened her eyes a little confused.

‘You’re home,’ he repeated.

He got out and walked around to her side and helped her out. They walked to the front door.

‘Hand me the key,’ he said.

She fumbled about in her bag.

‘Give me the bag.’ He took it from her. While he looked for the key he found a packet of coke. ‘What’s this?’ he showed it to her.

‘You know what it is dad. Did you find the key?’

‘You need to go back to the hospital. I don’t know why they let you out.’

‘I’m fine dad and you can’t force me to go back.’ She took her bag.

He knew that was true. He took the packet and put it in his pocket to dispose of later. He knew that she’d get a hold of some soon enough, but not tonight. Tonight he would get rid of what she had.

‘You can go home now dad, I’ll be fine,’ she said as she stumbled into the house. He hesitated. ‘I’m fine. Go home!’

‘Okay. Call me.’

She shut the door in his face. He dropped his head into his hand to take a moment. Watching her like that was like taking a beating on the back every single moment of his life. It hurt so much that at times he wished his wife was with him to help carry this heavy burden. He put his hand to the door, then left hoping for the best.

Freya made it halfway up the steps before taking a tumble down them. She lay at the bottom of the stairs gazing up at the ceiling that was circulating. Then she heard it again, just one voice.

‘No, no…I don’t hear you. You’re not here, you can’t hurt me.’ She covered her eyes as if that would help stop the voices.

‘I can see you, you can’t hide from me you bitch!’ the voice echoed.

She sat up and rushed for the kitchen cupboard and pulled the bottle of vodka from the bottom. She took a big gulp and staggered back for the stairs, picking up her bag along the way. This time making it for the bathroom where she kept her medication. Medication she knew she wasn’t supposed to take with alcohol, but desperate times called for desperate measures. With urgency she flipped opened the bottle of pills and took two with the vodka. Next she staggered to the bedroom, flung her bag across the room, kicked off her shoes and fell onto the bed.

‘I will get you, you can’t get away from me you whore!’ the voice continued.

‘No! Please! Leave me alone, leave me alone.’ She pulled on her hair. The more she tried to silence the voices the more they came until they began to fade a little at a time and her eyes shut out the light and everything was dead silent. The voices were gone; Freya had passed out. Everything was peaceful. For now.

****

The ringing phone rudely intruded her dreamless sleep. She opened one eye and felt the sledgehammer headache. ‘God dam it!’ Freya rolled to the side and got her bag.

‘Hello?’

‘Where are you, boss? Client waiting for interview.’

‘What time is it? And what day is it? I thought I was off sick?’

‘But you told me that you wanted to do this interview, boss,’ her assistant Bailey said.

‘Yes… erm five minutes. Get me a driver. I can’t drive. Make it fifteen. Apologise and tell her I’m on my way.’

‘Yes, of course. Fifteen minutes.’

Freya cut the call and rushed for the shower. Her head felt heavy, but she’d cope. She found two ibuprofens in the bathroom cabinet, and also took her medication so she wouldn’t hear any voices during the interview. Six minutes later Freya was pulling on her black suit with white shirt. It was the easiest to do without thought. The makeup was minimal, which was fine, she didn’t need much, which was a surprise with all the abuse she put her body through. Her hair went into a high bun; it was the easiest thing to do.

Freya looked at the bottle of vodka and picked it up, unscrewed the lid and took a swig. She shut her eyes while it went down her throat warming her. She took another and another until she heard the horn outside. She closed the bottle and found a bag big enough to hide it in.

‘Perfect.’ She felt a little tipsy and headed downstairs.

‘Miss Johnson,’ the driver opened the door.

‘Morning Mark, straight to the office please.’

‘Yes, ma’am.’

Freya had taken another two swigs of the vodka on the way to the office. Mark minded his own business and kept his focus on the road ahead. She pulled out some mint mouth spray and gave her mouth a spray. Then she took out her perfume and sprayed some in the air and allowed it to settle on her clothes giving her a subtle smell instead of an overpowering one.

The car stopped outside the office. She stepped out, straightened up and headed for her building.

‘Boss,’ said Bailey. ‘She’s in the conference room.’

‘Thank you. I’ll take it from here.’ She headed for the conference room. Opened the door and smiled at the woman waiting to be interviewed. ‘Debra, I’m so sorry I’m late. Will you forgive me.’ She put on her charming smile that was hard to resist.

‘Of course, it’s honour to be interviewed by you.’

‘I’m so glad. Do you want something to drink? More coffee? I assume that’s coffee. I’ve done my homework.’ She winked.

‘Erm…no just water.’

‘Great.’ Freya buzzed for water and a cup of coffee which was brought by the office secretary. ‘So shall we begin?’

‘Yes.’ the woman smiled back.

‘Great. I love, just love powerful women like yourself.’

‘I could say the same about you.’ she smiled.

The interview began.

****

As soon as Freya got to her office she pulled the bottle from the handbag and took two swigs. She needed it just to function. There was a knock on the door.

‘Erm…’ She hid the bottle back in the handbag. ‘Enter.’ She sat back.

‘You have a visitor,’ said Bailey.

‘Erm…I don’t have anything in my calendar.’

‘He says he’s a friend. A mighty sexy one, I must say myself.’

‘Bailey please.’

‘His name is Ferguson. Should I let him in?’

‘How the hell did he find me?’

‘You’re owner and head editor of a very popular magazine. How hard would it be?’

She smiled. ‘Okay, let him in.’

‘Good choice.’

‘Out!’ she laughed.

Freya waited not sure how she felt about seeing him again. Bailey was right, he was gorgeous, but there were more pressing things than a sexy man.

‘Miss Johnson,’ he said as he walked in.

‘Hi,’ she smiled. ‘What are you doing here?’ she got right to it.

‘I’ve come to see how you’re doing. May I?’ He nodded at the chair.

‘Sure.’ She swirled on the swivel chair.

‘Nice offices. It’s a surprise that a woman as successful as you would want to end her life. You have it all.’

She laughed. ‘It seems that way on the surface, but not everything you see is true.’

‘I see. Do you care to show me the real you?’

‘No.’ she smiled.

‘You haven’t been to a meeting have you? And you’ve started drinking again.’

‘Excuse me?’

‘I can read all the signs. My bastard of a father was an alcoholic for all his life. He…’ he was silent.

‘He what?’

‘He was very abusive towards me, made my mother ill to the point of death and I had to put up with him. I did everything I could to forgive him, but the bastard wouldn’t let up. I would take out my anger in other ways.’

‘Yeah? How’s that?’

‘That my dear is a secret.’ He smiled wickedly.

‘Hmmm, you sound like a dangerous man.’

‘Not really. Just one who has come out of a bad situation. I know that your drinking stems from somewhere.’

‘Do you now? When did you become a psychologist?’

‘It doesn’t take a professional to know that what’s going on with you is deeper than your drinking.’

‘I see.’

‘So; lunch? I know that your assistant is capable of taking care of things this afternoon. I checked.’

‘You did, did you?’

‘I did. I also took the opportunity to invite myself to your charity ball.’

‘Why would you do that? And I must remember to fire Bailey.’

‘Well you’ll be pleased to know that I have one of the deepest pockets. Like you I host charity balls and only invite those worthy of inviting. The ones who want to be seen as though they’re making a contribution to the world.’

‘You’re one of them are you? I don’t know you.’

‘Well that’s because you’ve spent a lot of your time drunk.’

‘Wow. That’s hurtful.’

‘Take it like it is. I’m not judging you. Look me up.’ He told her that he’d just bought into an oil business that sent him to the top of the rich list.

Freya took time to scan him and check him out.

‘You can interview me as an eligible bachelor. I’ll let you.’

She laughed. ‘Very big headed of you. What makes you think I want to?’

‘I know you do. Everyone does.’

‘I see. Well, I’ll let you come to the ball, only because I want your money.’

‘I wouldn’t want anything less.’ He smiled. ‘So? Shall we go for this lunch?’

‘Will I be allowed to drink?’

‘Yes.’

‘Really? Everyone else wants me to stop.’

‘Because I know that your drinking is more than drinking. We need to get to the root cause. Once that happens the drinking will stop.’

‘And you think you’re the person to get there.’

‘Yes.’ He pulled on the collar of his suit jacket. ‘So, you coming.’

She sighed. It was a little hard to say no to him. ‘To be honest I really don’t want to date right now.’

‘Who said anything about a date? It’s just lunch.’

She pursed her lips together. ‘It’s never just lunch.’