The Darkness of Shadows (27 page)

“You don’t know your daughter as well as you think.”

“You are confused.”

“Not anymore,” I said. “Check the traffic cameras around Walter’s house that night. Let me know what you see.”

Our emotions bubbled up like an unwatched pot of caramel.

“Why didn’t you heal Val?” I said. “I know you could.”

“Please keep your voice down. I was waiting for all of the test results to come back.”

“Are you embarrassed by your gift?” The pain shuttled through me, keeping me more civil than I thought possible.

“Your intrusion into my private life has caused much upheaval. What you have learned is not to be broadcast.” The threat was masked by a smile as a nurse passed by.

The hall was starting to tilt. “So sorry for the inconvenience.” I replanted the cane for some stability.

I could tell Mrs. Guerrero was running the scenarios through her scary-smart brain. My accusations contained the scent of truth she could no longer ignore. This realization curved her ever-straight shoulders inward.

“This … situation is uncomfortable for all of us.”

“And keeping me from seeing Val?” My anger was cresting.

“I did not think you could tolerate seeing her in this condition. Mrs. Carey was following orders to keep you both safe. She took liberties she should not have. We will be having a discussion with regard to her behavior.”

Orders? Just how strict was this hierarchy?

“I’ve seen things you can’t possibly imagine,” I said. “Val’s alive and safe. It’s the only thing that matters to me. And to answer your question, I didn’t do anything to her. I would die before I let anyone hurt her. She’s all I have.”

Mrs. Guerrero’s gaze was intense. Most days—hell, every day—I’d have looked away. Today I choose not to.

“Nat.” Val’s voice sifted into the air. I’d almost forgotten she was a few feet away except for the calm that flowed between, through, and around us. “I’m hungry.”

I decided to call the staring contest a draw.

“Excuse me please—I need to get back to Val.”

We went back into the room. Mrs. Guerrero was on one side of Val, me on the other. Tears fell down the elegant woman’s face as she watched her daughter.

Lieutenant McCornac made his way in. “You’re awake!” He ran back into the hallway. “Helen, she’s awake!”

Nurse Helen was checking a chart as she hurried into the room. Christ on a crutch! She was everywhere!

“Oh, thank God! Natalie, what are you doing here? Mrs. Guerrero doesn’t want Valerie disturbed—”

“Better get used to it, ma’am,” I said. “I’m not going anywhere.”

O
ne week had passed since the bête noir with my father. The shared worry Val and I felt for each other had been paralyzing. She was doing well physically, though the mental scars would always be there. The doctors were dumbfounded as to her speedy recovery, which she attributed to eating right, exercise, and clean living. Yeah, that must be it.

Mrs. Guerrero refused to talk to us about what happened.

Val refused to stay with her mom after being released from the hospital. She came home with me instead, and I didn’t blame her. If either of us saw Tina, all three of us would probably end up in the hospital.

I didn’t sleep much because of my injuries, so I watched over her—like when we were kids, but the roles were reversed now. When I felt her bad dreams starting, I woke her and told her she was safe. It’s not always the monsters under your bed you have to worry about—it’s the ones that take up residence in your head that are more worrisome.

We were in the kitchen and Val was cooking up major amounts of comfort food as the afternoon slipped into the silhouettes of night.

“What’s wrong?” Val said. “You’re not eating.”

I looked at the tasty plate before me. I couldn’t wait to get the stupid cast off. Eating left-handed wasn’t easy.

“I have no idea what to do next.”

She took a healthy forkful of pot roast, chewed, and swallowed.

“Can I ask you something?”

“Shoot.” I made a volcano out of spuds.

“What did your pseudo mom say to you?”

I gave her an awkward smile. “If I told you everything, all the mystery would go out of our relationship.”

“Ha ha. Very funny.”

I tried to be as clinical as I could, but my emotions slid in and my voice gave way a few times. I shifted, not from the pain in my body, but from the pain I was sharing with Val. She held me as the life I once knew did a free fall.

“Why did you help her?” Val said.

“I wish I could say she was different. That she apologized for being a monster. But I knew if she came back, it would be worse. And she needed to be free of him.”

“So do you.”

“I don’t think I ever will be.” I took a sip of water. “I’m a combination of their insanities. What does that make me?”

“A survivor,” she said. “Your courage gives me the strength to go on. You know I couldn’t do this without you.”

“I said that to you in the hospital.”

She smiled. “Not verbatim.”

She was playing with the bracelet I gave her, sliding the woven knots along the strands of silver, as if trying to find some balance.

“How do you fight the fear?”

“It’s not about fighting the fear,” I said, “it’s about what you do with it. You have to either learn to live with what happened or let it consume you.”

“I want you to come with me to talk to Mom.”

“Not sure that’s a real good idea,” I said. “I’m not in a forgiving kind of mood right now.”

“Me either. But it’s time we talked.”

“I’m sure Tina’s woven one hell of a story by now. You guys always say you never turn your back on family. Tina’s got the Betancourt-Guerrero bloodline, I don’t. It’s a no-brainer for your mom,” I said.

“Then Mom’s got some tough choices to make.”

I didn’t like the sound of that.

A knock at the back door. Speak of the devil—Mrs. G was there, with Tina standing behind her.

“May we come in?” Mrs. Guerrero said.

Something was missing. Right—Tina wasn’t wearing makeup. She looked shorter without it.

Should I be a bitch and say no? Glean Mrs. Guerrero’s powers like Walter did to Val and me? Like I’d even know what to do with them. I wanted to hold a grudge, but couldn’t. Mrs. Guerrero was looking out for her own. Collateral damage happens.

“Ma’am, you’re welcome to come in. Your daughter isn’t.”

“What the hell are you doing here?” Val’s jaw was in training for the Olympics.

“Calm down,” I said.

“We need to settle this situation,” Mrs. Guerrero said.

“M-o-o-o-m,” Tina said.

“Living room.
Ahora
.” Mrs. Guerrero’s anger was contained for now. “If you will please.”

“You up for this?” I said to Val.

She stormed off. I took that as a yes.

Mrs. G waited for me, my movements bogged down by my detriments.

Tina started to settle into an armchair.

“Get out of Nat’s chair!” Val said.

“Where do you want me to sit?” Tina shied away.

“In hell, where you belong!”

Tina moved around the coffee table to the couch. Mrs. G sat next to her. I parked my tired ass in the leather chair. Val joined me. This was going the way of all Jerry Springer episodes, I could feel it.

“Girls, there will be no more violence.” Mrs. Guerrero said. “Is that understood?”

I brushed Val’s hand. She broke her death-stare for half a second.

“What?”

“Answer your mom.”

“Fine. No more violence.”

“Augustina.”

“
Fine
.”

Mrs. Guerrero turned.

“Sorry, Mom,” Tina said.

“Augustina, your behavior toward Natalie has always been objectionable,” Mrs. Guerrero said.

“I—”

“Do not interrupt me, young lady.”

Tina slumped back into the couch.

“You are twenty-seven years old, no longer a child. You must be held accountable for your actions as well as your inactions. I would like to know of your involvement with Mr. Gannon.”

Tina shifted forward. “Mr. Gannon said if I didn’t do what he told me, he’d kill you and Val.”

A promising opening. Of course, she’d had time to work on it.

Mrs. G’s court face was in play. “And you did not come to me for what reason?”

“He said if I told anyone, he’d make me watch.”

Popcorn and a soda, that’s what was missing. Tina ran to her mother if someone looked at her funny. Mrs. Guerrero would do anything to protect her daughters. She had connections like you wouldn’t believe. Tina shifted closer to her mother and turned on the waterworks.

“I couldn’t take the chance.”

Val rolled her eyes.

“Tears and theatrics will not save you anymore,” Mrs. G said.

The tears stopped. “But that’s what happened.”

“Oh, for Christ’s sake!” Val said.

“I will handle this,” Mrs. G said. “This is the time for truth, Augustina.”

“You want the truth?” Tina said.

I expected Jack Nicholson to appear and finish with “You can’t handle the truth.” No such luck.

Tina jerked a thumb at herself, then pointed an accusing finger my way.

“
I’m
your daughter, not her! You and Daddy completely forgot about me when you brought her into our home!”

Mommy and Daddy love you more than they love me! Hands on hips, stomp, stomp, hair flip. Jesus.

“You ungrateful bitch!” Val said. “Mom and Dad gave you everything. You’ve never worked for anything in your pathetic little life! Do you know how much you hurt our parents?” She tried to calm herself. “And me?”

“Hurt you? You’ve got to be kidding me! You never wanted anything to do with me!” Tina said.

Val’s words detonated like precision charges. “I tried to look out for you. I tried to include you in my life. You were never interested. I was too boring for you, not pretty enough, not chic enough, not smart enough—”

“I hate you, you stuck-up bitch! You think you’re better than everyone!” Tina turned to her mother. “Mr. Gannon called me and said he had an opportunity for me to get that bitch out of our lives.”

I needed to get Tina a thesaurus.

“Un-friggin’-believable,” Val said.

Mrs. G remained passive. “Augustina Elena Guerrero, do you truly believe what you have just said? Your behavior has caused much discord in our family. Your therapists said it was a phase and we should be tolerant—”

“Yeah, a twenty-seven-year phase,” my best friend said.

Tears, probably real this time, started again. “Mom, I’m sorry.”

“Your apologies mean nothing now.” I’d never heard Mrs. Guerrero speak so coldly. “My blindness to your actions almost cost me my family. What happened to Valerie and Natalie was a direct result of your selfishness—”

“And her greed,” Val said.

Mrs. Guerrero’s full attention turned to her oldest daughter. “I beg your pardon. What did you say, Valerie?”

“Tina traded her services for money, just like the whore she is.”

“You CUNT!” Tina scrambled over the coffee table, sending magazines and the tissue box flying.

The sisters were now standing toe to toe.

“SHUT UP!” Tina screamed. “Just SHUT UP!”

Val was silent as I worked my way to her side. Yeah, my middle name is Dumbass. Mrs. G would’ve been crushed if she got in the middle of this one.

“Fuck off, you stupid crippled bitch!”

“You need to get some new material,” I said.

Val pushed closer. I caught her eyes with mine. “Please don’t do this.”

She backed off and returned to the chair. I turned to Tina.

“You’ve been given so many gifts in your life you take them for granted.”

“You have no right to talk to me like that,” Tina said.

“You’re just like my parents—you poison everything you touch. But if you think you can play in the William Gannon league, guess again.

“You hurt three people I’d give my life for. I can’t do anything about how you treated your father, but your mom and sister are now off-limits.”

She raised her hand to strike me.

“Think very carefully before you do that,” I said. “Because when I’m done with you, there’ll be nothing left.”

She lowered her hand and stepped back. I returned to the chair.

Tina stood alone.

“Augustina, is this true?” Mrs. Guerrero was now in front of her youngest child. “You accepted monetary compensation for your role in this nightmare?” Her fingers curled and uncurled as she waited for an answer.

“If Val had minded her own business, none of this would have happened,” Tina said.

The carefully constructed lies that made up so much of Tina’s life were decomposing around her, exposing the bones of her ugliness.

There was a warm stillness in the room, like right before a thunder and lightning storm starts. I like those storms. When the lightning strikes, it ignites the darkness with a truculent force that is spellbinding. What scares me a little is the thunder afterward. Scientists say the loud noise is the superheated air around the lightning bolt expanding at the speed of sound. Sound travels slower than light, so the flash is seen before the bang is heard. It’s weird because they happen at the same time.