The Darkness of Shadows (13 page)

“I can’t leave.” Val took my hand.

“It is important. Helen, tell her what you need.”

Nurse Helen rattled off a bunch of stuff.

“Nat, I’ll be right back.”

I wheezed around a cough and tightened my grip.

“Please … don’t … go.”

“I won’t be long. Promise.” She squeezed my hand, hesitated, then left.

Breathing was getting harder. Nurse Helen had something in her hand.

“No drugs,” I said. “I won’t move.” The haze got thicker and my breathing quicker, surrounded by coughs. Everything hurt. I shivered and tried to curl up into myself for warmth. Enigmatic hands held me down.

“Natalie, stay with us.”

Who was talking? A wintery chill assaulted me. Coughing and breathing were my only concerns, and it was complicated to do them both at the same time.

Whispers swirled around me like the morning mist. What was happening? My body reverberated with motion, yet I was lying still. I’d felt this before. Where? At my apartment?

“Close your eyes, child. Rest.”

Something gentle passed over my eyes and stomach. My eyes flew open as I fought the sensation. Everything was blurred. Shapes drifted in and out.

“Need to leave,” I said. Did the words make it out of my mouth? The pain spider webbed through me.

Susurrations sifted through the haze. There were unfamiliar hands touching me, holding me.

“Get off me!” It came out as a gasp. I lashed out at the unknown shapes with more kicks and gasps. Unfamiliar hands on my bare body, grabbing my shoulders and arms, pushing, turning me about—my second worst nightmare.

“Don’t touch me!” Still no words came out. I struggled, but there were too many to battle.

“Dear God! What did they do to her?” the nameless whispers said.

“My Lord! I do not know—Helen, sedate her now!”

A tightness wrapped around my arm and something pinched and slid into me. Warmth coursed through my veins.

“No drugs! Be good … promise.” The blurry shapes got blurrier. My body felt heavy. Breathing was hard. So cold.

Plastic bags rustled somewhere nearby.

“Mom, whose cars are out front? I couldn’t get into the driveway—who are you? Take your hands off her!
Get away from her
! NOW!”

Val’s voice was so far away.

I strained to say her name as the warm darkness tugged at me.

“Nat, I’m here.” Her voice was isolated from the other murmurs. I looked for her among the shapes, reached for her, but couldn’t find her. The warm darkness continued to follow the loudness of the arguing forms.

A whisper fluttered by my ear. “Natalie, it is Mrs. Guerrero …”

I tried to follow what she was saying, but I passed out.

The voices started out as distant mumblings down the hall and in the kitchen. They became clearer the harder I listened.

“Is she okay?” Val said.

“She needs to rest. She can tolerate a great deal of pain, more than anyone I’ve seen before,” Nurse Helen said.

“I’m moving her to my house tomorrow.”

“She needs to stay here for a few more days until she stabilizes,” Nurse Helen said.

“No way.” I pictured Val’s arms crossed over her chest. “I’ll hire a private ambulance and a nurse. End of story.”

“Would you share what happened to Natalie? Her back—” Mrs. Guerrero said.

“It’s not my story to tell. Suffice it to say that hell doesn’t describe what’s she’s been through.”

You keep my secrets and I’ll keep yours.
Val and I made that promise to each other a lifetime ago.
What happens in hell, stays in hell.

“If we knew, we could be more helpful.”

Val snorted. “I’ll run that by Nat.”

“Rita, I’m going to the pharmacy to see what happened with her prescription. I’ll be back in a little while.” The kitchen door opened and closed.

Val’s voice went from stubborn to furious.

“Who the hell were those people holding Nat down? She must’ve flipped out! You know she doesn’t like people touching her!”

“They are friends of mine who stopped by to look at our photographs. As Mrs. Carey said, there was a mistake with her medication. We needed to restrain and sedate her to prevent her from hurting herself. We had no choice. And do not use that tone with me, young lady.”

“Unbelievable! This is going to set her back eons! Her parents—”

“What did they do?” Mrs. G said.

“Don’t try that cross-examination shit with me. If Nat wants to tell you what happened, she will.”

Thank you, Val.

“Your language is inappropriate,” Mrs. Guerrero said. I heard a sigh. “Natalie trusts you completely. She never shares her true self with me.”

“She trusts you as much as she can. And after this little episode, I don’t know what’s going to happen. You’ll be lucky if she lets you near her.” The pop of a soda can sounded. “This is Tina’s fault.”

“She would never hurt Natalie—”

“She’s a spoiled brat who’s always resented the hell out of Nat!” Val took a breath. “If I find out she’s lying, I’ll fucking kill her!”

“
That will be enough, young lady
!”

Holy crap!
Mrs. Guerrero lost her temper!

Tina always had a way of taking a situation and twisting it to get what she wanted, like some evil origami master. As she got older, she got better. She’d done many a mean thing to her sister and me over the years, but did she hate me enough to try to kill me?

Meanwhile, the argument down the hall raged on.

“Nat’s been through hell and back,” Val said. “She never asks anything of anyone. She needed our help and we gave it to her. She would do the same for us and has, no questions asked. You and Daddy taught us that you shouldn’t have to ask someone to do the right thing. Tina’s never done the right thing unless it benefited her.”

“Augustina has always been jealous of your friendship with Natalie, and of you—”

“Bullshit! Tina and I have nothing in common! If we weren’t sisters, I’d have nothing to do with her,” Val said.

“I spoke with your sister. She lost her temper and she is sorry for that, but she maintains that she did nothing to Natalie.”

“Did she tell you why she has a problem with Nat? Did she tell you she hates her because she’s white? Because she’s different? Did she say that shit too?”

“
Valerie
!”

“If that’s the only way I can get you to see Tina as I do, then I’ll swear like Uncle Bobby when he’s toasted at Thanksgiving. And you and Daddy let her get away with everything, every time. But it stops now.”

“Valerie.”

Val’s voice softened. “Mom, I can’t lose Nat. You sent me away earlier. Just like you did when Daddy died. I should have been there.” She took a deep breath. “I left Nat when I knew I shouldn’t. I knew something was wrong and I still left.
Dammit
!”

For a moment, quiet flowed through the house and then Val’s soft sobs fell into the air.

“Baby, come here.” Mrs. Guerrero’s gentle voice called her daughter to her. I imagined her holding Val—with a touch that told of love, warmth, caring, and forgiveness without a word being said. Everything that should be shared through a simple touch between mother and daughter.

“Hush, baby, hush.”

Val’s sobbing eased. “I can’t lose her too. I’m sorry I spoke to you like that. I’m really scared.”

“It is going to be all right. I promise.” Mrs. Guerrero’s soothing cadence was working its magic. “I love you.”

“Love you too.” Moments of silence passed as Val collected her emotions and thoughts.

“Better?” Mrs. Guerrero said.

“Yes, ma’am.”

“Wash your face, then please check on Natalie.”

I shoved the covers off and hauled myself to the edge of the bed. One of my new gigantic T-shirts covered me. How’d that get there? Breathing hard, I pushed up to a standing position. I started to sway, grabbed the bedside table. Everything hurt.

Val peered around the half-open door.

“Hey, you’re awake—whoa there. You’re not going anywhere.” She set me down on the bed. “How are you feeling?”

“Sorry I made you cry.” I struggled to get up. “Where’s my cane? Did those people take it?”

“Where do you think you’re going?”

“Got to leave. Hurt you and your mom real bad.” I wobbled as I stood again, then careened into her.

“Need my cane. Where’s my pistol? Need keys. Can you give me a ride?” I forgot where I was going. “Need another blanket. Freezing.”

“I’ll get you another blanket if you stay put.” She placed me in bed and glided out of the room.

Softness slipped over me. The bed shifted and something skimmed across my forehead.

“I didn’t tell!” I clutched at the covers, trying to move away. My body wasn’t happy about the escape endeavor. Panic filled my lungs as I swatted at the extrinsic hand. “I didn’t tell!”

“It’s just me,” Val said. “Take slow breaths.”

“Sorry. Bad day.”

“No kidding.” She brushed the sweaty hair from my forehead. “You feel kind of warm. How’s the pain?”

“Coke.” My mouth was beyond dry.

“The only thing we have on tap tonight is water.” She lifted my head and let me take a sip from the straw. She was blurry, moving all over the room.

“Will you sit still?” I said.

“I am.”

“Tina didn’t hurt me … I got dizzy … fell. My fault, all of it. Hate when you fight with your mom.”

“You better not be lying to me about Tina. And the fight with Mom was a long time coming. Go to sleep.”

“Where’d you go before? Thought he got you. You okay?”

“Pissed, but fine. They sent me on a wild goose chase.”

“What did they do to me?” Agitated fear crept through me along with the other memories that surfaced with it. “I tried to get away. Too many of them.”

Val’s hand took mine. “It’s over. How do you feel?”

“Don’t know. Hurts some. Strange. Did they give me drugs? Told them no. I can take it.” My head was swirling. I tried to wet my lips, but my tongue weighed about fifty pounds.

The straw appeared again. I squinted at it.

“No drugs … please.”

“You’re nothing like your mom.” The conviction in Val’s voice sent a wave of relief through my worn-out body.

“Val?”

“Yes?” Her gentle voice was hovering close by.

My eyes were closing without my permission, the lids heavy with guilt.

“What’s it like?”

“What’s what like?” she said.

“To have …” I struggled to finish the words as I looked into her beautiful face. “… your mom love you?”

Her eyes seemed wet and shiny, making the flecks of gold in them shimmer.

“Shh, go to sleep.”

“Make me an angel.”

“Just a little bit. Then you have to sleep. I’m going to stay with you, okay?”

I nodded. Val would stay with me when things got bad. The warmth of her body quieted me as she lay down beside me.

Her voice was soothing, the words were soft and melodic.

“… Make me an angel, That flies from Montgomery, Make me a poster, Of an old rodeo, Just give me one thing, That I can hold onto, To believe in this livin’, Is such a hard way to go …”

S
pending time with Tina was like being stung by fire ants. One was kind of annoying, a few were bothersome, but an entire colony could bring death to a sensitive person.

She was coming for an extended visit.

“I do wish you would stay,” Mrs. Guerrero said.

“Ma’am, you don’t get to spend much time with Tina,” I said. “I don’t want to intrude.”

“You are such a thoughtful person.”

Yeah, that’s me.

Tina sashayed in, brandishing colorful lacquered talons.

“Hey, Mom.” She pulled out a chair and plopped down with the flair of the drama queen that she was. “What a day!”

“Hi, Tina,” I said as I headed down the hall to my room.

“How was your session?” Mrs. Guerrero said.

A few months back, a woman dinged Tina’s precious BMW. It was a minuscule mark, happens all the time in parking lots.

What happened next was caught on a grainy cell phone video. The woman apologized, but that wasn’t good enough for Tina. Tina’s huffing and puffing turned into a sirocco of weave pulling, bitch slapping, and charges being filed.