The Darkest of Shadows (28 page)

“Thank you.” He breathed easier.

“Don’t get me wrong, I don’t keep secrets from my sister, and if she asks me outright then I would never lie to her, but I won’t go out of my way to tell her.”

“That’s all I ask.”

“That’s not actually why I asked to talk to you,” Reed said.

“Yes?”

“Lilly’s dad, our dad, he’s not well.”

“I see.”

“He’s taken a turn for the worse over the last few days, but I didn’t want to ring Lilly, and now that she’s told me about what happened to her, I really don’t want to worry her.”

“Hmm.”

“But I need someone over there to know, so that if something horrible happens, then there is someone with her, someone who cares.”

“I’ll take care of it.”

“Don’t worry her with it now, not unless I ring you and tell you that she needs to know. Hopefully he’ll get better, and she won’t have to know at all.”

“It’s fine, Reed. I understand.”

“Good.” She paused, then added, “You must be special if Lilly has given you a chance, Lawrence. Please don’t hurt her.”

“I will make every effort not to,” he assured her.

“Can I talk to Lilly now?”

“What did you say?” I accused her when Lawrence gave the phone back. He looked calm and unruffled, as always.

“Just checking up on you, my dear.”

“I’m hanging up now,” I told her.

“Ring me later.” I barely heard her response before I hung up.

“Sorry.” I scooted over to him on the lounge, until I sat straddling his thighs, facing him. “She can be a bit pushy sometimes.”

“She’s a sister.” He shrugged, pulling me closer to him. “She’s exactly like my own sister. Means well, but can be really irritating.”

“That’s exactly what she’s like.” Then I frowned as his words sunk in. “I didn’t know you had a sister.”

“I have one sister, and a whole tribe of nieces,” he replied. “Seven of them.” He actually shuddered at the thought.

“Holy crap! That’s a lot.”

“Exactly,” he agreed. “I try to make it a point of never visiting. You have no idea what a house of seven girls is like.”

“Reed has four boys,” I added, surprising myself with the admission. I didn’t normally talk about my nephews.

“Maybe we should introduce them?” Lawrence grinned wickedly.

“Maybe not.” I shook my head. I also remembered what four boys were like, so having that many kids in one place…no one deserved that.

Even though we didn’t announce we were in the building, it wasn’t long before people began to invade our time. It was nearly impossible for Allan to ignore the fact that he had Lawrence that close at hand, and there always seemed to be some emergency that he just had to tell him about. At first Lawrence just did what he normally did, ignored the calls, but when they started to ring my phone fairly regularly, we both acknowledged that we were either going to have to leave London, or answer the phone.

Once we answered that first call, the floodgates opened, and within an hour Lawrence was back in his office and I was sitting at my desk.

He was very reluctant to have me work, insisting that I stay in the apartment, so I just waited until he was in his office with Allan and then settled at my own desk anyway. There was a huge backlog of things I needed to get done, especially rebooking all the meetings that Lawrence had missed over the last week.

“Hi, Allan.” I rose to greet him when he emerged from Lawrence’s office a few hours later.

“Good afternoon, Lilly.” He walked closer and leant over to kiss my cheek. “I’m sorry about what happened,” he added sadly.

“Thanks, but I’m fine.”

“Make sure you don’t let him overwork you.” He nodded toward Lawrence, who had just come out into the foyer where my desk sat. He must have heard my voice, and from the frustrated look on his face, he wasn’t happy about me working against his instructions.

“Lilly?” he asked with a deepness to his voice that said much more than his words. He shot a look at Charlie, who was sitting in an armchair, reading a magazine by the window.

Charlie shrugged in apology. “Like she’d listen to me,” he said, in answer to the look in Lawrence’s eyes.

“I’m fine,” I told them all. “Trust me, you’ll know when I’m not.” Then I turned my attention back to Allan. “I’ve rebooked the ALC meeting for tonight, so if you still wanted to come, I’ll send the details through to Jules.”

He nodded. “That would be great. Thanks. I’ll see you both tonight then.” Moments later I was left with just Charlie and Lawrence, the latter of whom still looked far from happy.

Only because there wasn’t anyone else around, and because I didn’t want to see that look on his face, I stepped closer to him, my body fitting perfectly against the long length of his. Almost unconsciously his arms folded around me.

“Don’t be mad.” I breathed the words against his lips.

“I want you to rest, Lilly.” He groaned the words almost reluctantly.

“Do you trust me?”

He knew that was a trap, but he also knew he had to step right into it. “Yes.”

“Then trust me to know what I can and can’t do,” I told him.

“Fine,” he muttered, and then his lips touched mine. It was a possessive kiss, a dominating and wonderful kiss that told me clearer than his words that his mind was divided on this issue.

By the time his lips left mine, I couldn’t have stood without his arms around me. The world spun so randomly that I had to cling to the front of his suit to stay upright. The smug look on his face was evidence that he was more than happy with my reaction. His hands ran down my back, pulling me closer to him, grinding my hips against his.

“I don’t want to go out tonight,” he complained. “I’ve got other things that I’d rather do.” I knew exactly what those things were; the evidence was pressed solidly against me.

A sexy smile flicked over my face. “We’ll have lots of time for that after,” I told him.

“Must I go?” he kissed his way down my neck, and I chuckled. He sounded like a teenager, complaining when his mother asked him to clean his room, but there was nothing childlike about his intentions.

“Yes, you must.” I pulled back a bit so that I could look him in the face. “I’ve had to reschedule a whole lot of stuff to make up for everything you’ve missed. You’re going to be a busy boy this week.”

I’m not even sure he was listening by that point; his eyes and his hands were doing other things, things that really weren’t appropriate for the middle of the office.

“Behave.” I pushed back from him, but I made sure that I gave him a kiss filled with a promise for much more later. His arms fell reluctantly from around me.

Dinner that night was with a firm that was doing the architectural work on a high-rise apartment development for us. There were some design problems with the local authorities that were stalling the development. Only Lawrence had the contacts that would get the project moving again. The architects needed to brief him on the major problems so that the following night, Lawrence and I could meet with the head of the certifying authority to get them passed.

There was a group of three from ALC at dinner. I had picked a fairly private restaurant for us to go to, one that had separate private dining rooms, so that there would be room and privacy in case Lawrence needed to see any of the plans laid out. Originally this meeting was scheduled for two days earlier in our corporate offices, but circumstances for both ALC and Lawrence meant that the only time before the meeting the following night with the planning minister was dinner tonight. So, there we were, Lawrence, Allan, and myself, being introduced to Adam Paskel, GM of ALC, and two of his colleagues, Sam Writen, his planning manager, and Abel North, a design engineer who looked and acted very out of place in the room with the others. Obviously, he was there for the actual architectural drawing side of the project, not for his ability to represent ALC in a room dominated by the high flyers of the business world.

I had actually met Adam previously. We had attended a benefit together about six months earlier, so it was with a genuine smile that I shook hands with him again when we entered the room.

“Lilly.” He was a big man and had a voice to match. It boomed around the room, making it seem much smaller than it actually was.

“Good evening Adam.” I laughed as he kissed my cheek. He was a very touchy person, not really that big on respecting people’s personal space, which normally would have bothered me, but something about Adam let women know he wasn’t a threat. That, and the fact that I had spent a very enjoyable few hours with his stunning wife at that benefit, so I knew what waited for him at home. Her name was Tashya and there was no doubt, once I had seen them both together, that they were genuinely and deeply in love. “How’s Tashya?”

“Fat!” he announced jovially.

It seemed such a strange comment for him, because there was nothing fat about Tashya—she was model gorgeous. My expression must have given it away because he laughed in his big booming voice. “She’s pregnant, Lilly.”

My heart sank cold and heavy in my chest, but I forced a smile to my face. “Congratulations, Adam. Give Tashya my best.” That was as much as I could manage to say. Lawrence was the only one who noticed something different about me, and without realizing what he was doing, his arm snaked around my waist and he pulled me into his side before he placed a soft kiss in my hair.

“Congratulations.” Lawrence held out his hand to Adam, who took it in his and then with his other hand reached out and slapped Lawrence on the shoulder.

“By the looks of it, my friend, I’m not the only one to be congratulated.” He looked suggestively between my pale face and Lawrence.

Lawrence and I ignored his question. It was quite obvious at this point, so there was little need for a verbal confirmation.

We settled around the table. Lawrence leaned down close to my ear as he pushed my chair in for me. “Are you OK?” he asked quietly. I nodded but didn’t answer.

I hated to be reminded of happily ever afters. It wasn’t personal to Adam and Tashya, but I didn’t want to know about their life, I didn’t want to know that they were having a baby and that they would get to keep that child and watch it grow. I didn’t want to think those thoughts, not at all.

So at the moment, all I was focusing on was forgetting he had mentioned it. Once I could manage that, then I would be OK.

I had a death grip on Lawrence’s hand under the table; I couldn’t bring myself to let go of him. For some strange reason, he helped to keep me grounded, helped keep the pain from growing to a point where I couldn’t function.

Adam gave Lawrence and Allan a fairly rough outline of the planning issues they were having with the development, mainly relating to height restrictions; and once he was finished, Sam and Abel took over with a much more detailed analysis. I sat quietly while they talked. Occasionally my gaze would flick to Lawrence, and he would squeeze my hand in comfort.

“I’ll be back in a sec,” I told Lawrence, after we had eaten; then I excused myself from the table. I didn’t really need to use the bathroom, but for some reason the dining room was making me feel extra claustrophobic this evening. I needed space, air.

I walked out into the hall where Frost and Charlie waited on either side of the door. Frost gave me a nod, and Charlie walked with me as I went slowly toward the back of the building where the bathrooms were located.

By the time I came out, I wasn’t feeling any better. I realized, a little too late, that I probably wasn’t as good as I claimed to be, and maybe coming back to work so soon wasn’t actually that good for my recovery. Working in the office seemed OK, but I was not sure I was up to the more personal affront of dinner company.

I felt anxious, suffocated, and scared; and I was sure, due to a large amount of therapy sessions over the last few years, that I could attribute a good part of that to the incident over New Year’s. I wasn’t stupid, just disturbed.

When we got back to the doors of the dining room, Charlie took up his position on the opposite side to Frost. I hesitated with my hand on the handle, then suddenly I knew I couldn’t do this. I dropped my arm and moved to stand on the other side of Charlie. I leaned my head back against the wall and closed my eyes, trying to calm my breathing to a more normal rate.

“Are you OK?” Charlie asked quietly from beside me.

I didn’t open my eyes to respond; that would have taken too much effort. “Yep.”

“You don’t look OK,” he countered, and I could hear the slight edge to his voice.

“I’ll be fine.”

“You say that a lot lately, and I was starting to believe you, but now I’m not so sure that I should.”

There wasn’t really anything I could say to that, so I kept my silence. I heard movement near the door, but I didn’t think it was Charlie; then I felt Lawrence’s presence. His hand cupped my cheek and his gentle voice called me. “Lilly.” I reluctantly opened my eyes and whatever he saw in them must have been clear enough, because he stepped back a pace, his fingers tracing a path down my face.

“Wait here,” he said, and disappeared back inside the room. He was gone for only a few minutes before he returned. He clasped my hand in his and guided me down the hall. I was forced to open my eyes or risk running into something.

Lawrence didn’t say anything to me the whole trip home, and Charlie and Frost remained silent in their attention on our safety. It seemed to take ages before Lawrence led me into his bedroom, our bedroom.

He sat me down on the edge of the bed then dropped down to squat in front of me. I tried to look anywhere but at him—the floor, his knees, my hands as they rested together in my lap.

“I have all night, Lilly,” he told me quietly.

“I don’t know what you want me to say.” I really didn’t know why he was looking at me like that, like he knew what I was feeling.

“Tell me what’s going through your mind right now.”

“What are you, a shrink?” I asked. I couldn’t keep a touch of sarcasm from my words.

“No.” He shook his head. “I’m your friend.”

He looked at me with his beautiful face, so calm and sure. “I’m thinking that you know me too well,” I finally admitted.