The Darker Side of Trey Grey (33 page)

“He’s sleeping. He kinda wrecked himself.” She crammed a handful of popcorn in her mouth, chewing noisily, while giving me a sympathetic look.

“What do you mean by
wrecked himself
?”

She swallowed as she set the popcorn bowl on the floor. “He took a sleeping pill, some alcohol, and an extra Thorazine. He’ll be out for hours.”

I nodded as I chewed on my lip. “How is he?” I asked, as I felt my face screw into a grimace.

“Hurt, pissed. I think more hurt than anything. He’s upset you didn’t call, feels you betrayed him, aren’t taking him seriously, the relationship seriously, don’t really care about him, there was more but I can’t remember it.”

I held up a hand. “I get it.” I stared down the hall and could see a soft glow emanating from the bedroom. I glanced back at Kelly, and she gave me an encouraging look.

“I’ll see you in the morning. I hope.”

“You’ll work it out. Night, Trey.” She picked the popcorn bowl back up as I made my way to Justin.

He was sprawled across the bed on his stomach, wearing a pair of black boxers, and drooling on his pillow. He’d shoved all the covers off the end of the bed. I let a small hopeful smile escape when I saw the cuff around his wrist. I wanted to touch him, but I didn’t feel I had any right too.

Instead, I set my bag down, stripped, took a piss, reclaimed the covers, and climbed in bed. I found the other handcuff wedged between the pillows, and clicked it on. I closed my eyes happy to be home, even if tentatively at the moment.

I woke in the darkness screaming at Willie, and Justin remained comatose. I wiped my eyes, huddled up to his side, and managed to fall back to sleep almost immediately. I didn’t wake again until after ten, and found Justin still out, snoring. I wondered if he ever wet the bed when in a drug induced stupor.

I could smell coffee, which meant Kelly was awake, and now I was wide-eyed too. I spotted the keys on Justin’s nightstand. I managed to lean over him and retrieve them with no more than a snort from Justin before he was snoring again. I paused over him for a moment, breathing him in. He smelled a little rutty right now, and I found the rather masculine scent unexpectedly arousing. Needless to say so did “IT.” I sighed as I resisted the urge, yet again, to touch him.

* * * * *

Justin finally roused at one thirty in the afternoon. Kelly and I had cleaned the house in preparation for the party then I had helped her unload some of her belongings from her car while Justin slept. We were just finishing up lunch when we heard the grumbling coming down the hall.

I glanced up as he entered the kitchen. Unsure of what his mood might be I stayed seated and allowed him the first move. He was pale, his skin moist, and he looked like crap. His eyes arrested me for a second. They were brittle and dark. He was obviously still pissed at me.

He didn’t say a word as he walked behind me, seized a handful of my hair, and wrenched my head back. I could smell the chemical sweat as his body tried to leach out the excess toxins he had put into it.

“You’re not supposed to let yourself off your leash.” He shoved my head roughly forward. Was he ticked because I had left the bed this morning?

“I’m not a dog, Justin. Besides, you were out and I figured you needed the sleep.”

“Definitely not a dog. They’re more loyal.”

Ouch
. The laundry room door slammed shut, then the sounds of coughing and gagging filtered through. I looked at the door concerned, then to Kelly questioningly.

She glared at the door. “He’s okay, just stupid. Alcohol, an empty stomach, and his pills don’t mix well. He usually throws up a few times then he’s fine.”

I nodded, however the distress over what he was doing to himself stuck with me. He came out of the bathroom, filled a glass with water, and then left without a word. I followed him. He closed the bedroom door in my face, and I heard the lock click.

“Justin, come on. Talk to me, yell at me, hit me... just... hell.” I leaned my head on the door. I didn’t know what to say to him. I only knew I didn’t like him mad at me, and I didn’t like seeing his manic side in control.

“I don’t want to talk right now. I’m going back to bed. Just... just leave me alone.”

“Do you want me to leave?”

When he didn’t answer my body began sagging towards the floor. I had done the one thing he asked me never to do, and I was terrified he wasn’t going to forgive me.

“No,” he finally yelled.

Thank God
. I sank the rest of the way down the door. I sat rumpled on the floor for a long time, trembling, and I wasn’t sure why.

Justin slept the rest of the afternoon, or at least I assumed he did. I kept myself busy helping Kelly move anything that could be easily broken into, what was now, her room. Like the television, stereo, and even the big mirror above the sofa. While moving the mirror I remembered I hadn’t seen it that first night, and how that fateful night seemed a lifetime ago, rather than the month it actually was.

Ernie, the tight wrestler type I had chatted with the night I met Justin, arrived first with the alcohol, and a fair amount of pot compliments of his brother.

“Who pays for all this?” I set the case I was carrying on the kitchen floor.

“Everyone pays twenty bucks.” Ernie tore a box open then glanced leeringly at me.

I laughed. “Keep dreaming, buddy. I’ll pay the twenty bucks.”

He feigned being stabbed through the heart then shrugged and set to unloading the bottles. “It’s always worth a try.”

“True, I wouldn’t be here otherwise.”

“So, it
is
true,” he stated, shaking his head softly. “I’ve known Justin for over a year and the dude doesn’t date. He doesn’t even let anyone stay the night... I heard once he had been hurt pretty badly, I don’t know if that’s just a rumor. But I know I tried for months.” He shook his head. “I wonder what he found in you.” He wrinkled his nose right before his eyes widened. “No offense, man, I mean, I’d do you in a heartbeat.” He grinned quickly.

I chuckled. “None taken. I know I’m hot. What can I say, it’s a curse.” We both laughed and finished setting up the bar while Kelly, already in a flowing burgundy satin robe, welcomed the first members. I walked back to the bedroom, and found the door still locked. However, I could hear the shower running, so at least I knew Justin was up.

I retrieved a bottle of Ciroc then leaned against the wall near the kitchen as I watched people milling around and catching up with each other. Kelly had filled me in on the logistics of the club as we cleaned earlier. Justin had founded it three years ago after finding out the sex club he had joined didn’t exactly welcome gays with open arms, regardless of what they said. He didn’t like the options available, and discovered there were others equally unhappy with the scene.

It had started small with only fifteen members, but now they were over a hundred and fifty strong. About a third of the members came to any given party. There were a dozen or so regulars, while the remaining attendants consisted of a menagerie of revolving members. It was an impressively organized club, with mandatory health testing and membership fees, which ultimately ended up in Justin’s pocket since he provided the location and held a huge weekend fuckfest the end of July.

My eyes caught on a very cute boy slinking towards me and trying to act casual. He was failing miserably. As he pretended to wander past, I reached out and ruffled his black hair.

“Garret, what are you up to?”

He grinned and blushed furiously, sending his eyes right to the floor. I hadn’t figured out his ethnicity yet; Italian, Spanish, Native American? I couldn’t be sure. His unusual green and gold eyes threw me. He settled nervously next to me then sidled over until our arms touched.

“You know I’m taken.” Then I muttered under my breath, “If he ever gets his ass out here.”

“I know. Justin told me you were moving in.” Garret’s forehead wrinkled as he tugged on his pants legs, his eyes remaining glued to his bare feet. God, his feet were even smaller than mine. What Dirk wouldn’t do to get his hands on little Garret.

I smirked. “He did, did he? Well, that
was
the plan.” I glanced over at him and was met with a totally expectant puppy dog look. I rolled onto my shoulder to face him, and he bowed his head again.

“You really like him don’t you?” I hadn’t missed him staring longingly at Justin when he was here cleaning after the last party.

“I could love you too, sir.” He wrapped two fingers around my hand hanging next to the wall. “I’m fully trained,” he added hopefully. I didn’t doubt that one bit, maybe too well trained with his overtly shy demeanor.

“Garret, I couldn’t do that.”

His head whipped up, his chin quivering. I took his small hand in mine and squeezed it.

“I didn’t mean it that way. I was owned once, and I couldn’t ever own anyone. Do you understand?”

He nodded slowly then stretched up and kissed my cheek. Jesus, he was a sweet boy.

“Garret, what are you doing with this group?”

He smiled coyly while averting his eyes. “I’m too shy for the bars, and I really like sex, sir.”

No one could say he wasn’t honest. “Then go find yourself a partner.” I laid my hand on his round ass and pushed him off. He grinned back at me then scurried off towards a brutish hairy guy almost twice his size. The dirty-blond noticed him and pointed to his fly making Garret squeal with glee. I chuckled before headed into the kitchen. If I were more into D/s play, Garret might just turn me on. The boy was damn cute.

I shuffled onto the counter near the sink, leaning back against the upper cupboards while I set out to get stinking drunk.

I was better than halfway through the bottle when I heard the small roar of appreciation, and knew Justin had finally made his appearance. He stepped into the kitchen, followed closely by an overly bronzed blond boy and a swarthy skinned emo chick.

All my muscles seized at the sight of him. I would have chuckled then ravaged him if I wasn’t terrified of what might happen in the next few minutes. Black ultra-suede chaps hugged his legs, while a matching silky bikini worked overtime trying to contain his cock. The only other accoutrement he had was a thick gold chain nestled snugly around his neck. I wasn’t sure if he had dressed for me or the party, but either way, he was fucking sexy.

His lips thinned, and he kept his sharp eyes on mine as he headed straight for me. Seeing where he was headed, the two admirers back-tracked out of the kitchen. He snaked his arms around my waist then buried his face in my crotch. I wasn’t sure if this was forgiveness or something else entirely. I ran my hands down his back, and he tensed. I hesitated, then his spine arched into my touch, and I released the breath I had been holding.

We stayed like that for awhile. My hands touring the muscles in his back as he snuggled “IT” and rubbed his cheeks along my thighs.

“Am I forgiven?” I whispered.

He lifted his head slowly then looked at me through narrowed gold-fringed lids. His hands dug into my backside as he slid me forward. His chest expanded in long, deep breaths as a hand moved into my hair. He pulled my head down roughly.

“If you ever do that again, we’re through.” Then his lips crashed into mine.

I squeezed my eyes tight as I gripped his neck and jaw in my hands. Relief thundered through me. I kissed him like a ravenous beast, and based on the blinding need coursing through me, I think I was.

Justin forced me away. “I mean it. I can’t go through that. I can’t... I was afraid to check... I thought you were dead.” His hands cinched down, one on my hip and one around the nape of my neck.

“I’m sorry, so sorry, I forgot, I forgot, I can’t believe...” my voice cracked. I lowered my forehead to his and stared at his stormy blue eyes. “I need you,” I whispered.

His forehead pushed against mine as his eyes closed. “I
love
you,” he said quietly. “Will you ever love me, Trey?”

I couldn’t answer him. I wanted to, but the words wouldn’t come. They were stuck in my throat. He withdrew, his chin resting on his chest.

“Maybe someday you will.” He took my hand, turned, and tugged me off the counter. I slid to the floor. “For now, I want to get drunk and fuck my boyfriend.”

He turned his head, giving me a predacious look over his shoulder. I wasn’t sure I was in the mood but “IT” stiffened regardless.

He saw my sulkiness and added, “Its okay. When you’re ready. Right now, I just want to be with you.” He smiled and I managed a rigid smile back.

My mood began to lift as we packed up a paper bag to take to his studio. He told me it was an off limits location, belonging only to us. As I grabbed my smokes, Justin jokingly warned everyone not to wreck the house. Then we disappeared for the night.

Inside his studio I set the bag down on his desk as Justin tossed the blankets on the daybed, then he was against my back swiftly undoing my jeans.

It was a rough quick fuck that, I realized, we both needed in order to work out the last of our harbored unwanted anxieties. He pulled me down with him into the office chair, settling me in his lap so he could stay inside me while we came down from our euphoria.

I leaned against his heaving chest as he held me, nuzzling my neck and shoulder.

“I’m sorry,” he murmured against my ear.

“For what? Fucking me?”

I felt him smile against my skin. “No, I’ll never be sorry for that as long as you enjoy it. For treating you the way I did.” He kissed the hollow below my ear then sighed. “I’m not very good at relationships.”
I snorted trying not to laugh. “Sorry, I know you’ve been hurt. That just struck me as funny considering who you said it to.”

“I suppose it is funny.” He shook his head slightly. “My one relationship was a travesty. After that, I didn’t want anyone, so it was a non-issue.”

I laid my head back on his shoulder as I moved my feet onto the desk. “What happened?”

“It was in high school. Before I was diagnosed... before I came out. I was the varsity quarterback for God sake. I couldn’t be gay, it was unnatural. I was in denial for a long time.”

“Then you fell for a boy...”

“Yeah, Alex. He swept in completely secure in his sexuality, and I fell hard. Even though I made him keep our relationship a secret, a few people noticed. Unfortunately, he was using me.” He tensed beneath me. I twined my fingers through his and held his hand tight. He began shaking his head. “I went over to his house after a very sucky day, and caught him with someone else. He didn’t even have the decency to be embarrassed. Told me I was too needy, and a lousy lay. Dave, the guy he was with, laughed so hard he fell off the couch.”

“Oh man, that sucks. If it makes you feel better, I think you’re a fabulous lay.”

He chuckled. “I’ve had a lot of practice since then. When did you come out?”

“When I was born. While all the little boys were teasing the little girls, and trying to see up their dresses, I was trying to
accidentally
rub against the little boys. One of my friends in grade school thought it was funny that I liked to look at his peter. He even let me touch it a few times. It was heaven.” I grinned at the memory while Justin laughed.

His laughter was cut short as he became solemn. “Then Willie came,” he said sourly.

I nodded. “Yeah.”

Justin’s arms snuggled around me and I smiled despite myself.

“And then you came along,” I told him.

“And you.” He kissed my cheek then my temple.

After we had consumed some food, and much alcohol, we cuddled up on the daybed, and began lazily making out.

“What do you like?” he asked. I stared at him confused and he elaborated. “Is there anything that drives you crazy?”

I smirked. “You.”

He gave me an exasperated look. “I’m serious. I want to know what drives you nuts.”

“You. You drive me nuts,” I said, and he sighed under me. “Justin.” I shook my head as I settled between his legs. “Until I met you, nothing excited me. Sex was nothing. I never really
wanted
anyone. Wanting— hell— needing you is all new to me... and very confusing.”

His eyes brightened, and I could see the enlightened expression dawning across his face.

“I don’t know what I like,” I said softly, running my fingers along his collarbone. “Actually, that’s not true. I like touching you, I like waking up next to you and knowing who you are, and where I am. I miss you when you’re not there, and I love that you take care of me without pitying me. And I hate that I can’t spend every minute with you.”

Justin cleared his throat as his eyes crinkled and blinked rapidly. A tear escaped down his temple, and I wiped it off.

I gave him a cocky grin. “It kinda sounds like I love you doesn’t it?” I dipped down, kissing the quiver from his lips. His hand dug into the small of my back and his nails pinched my skin, sending sparks up my back. I gasped, and Justin loosened his hand then ran his nails roughly up my spine, making me tremble and sigh.

He sniffed then chuckled. “I think someone has a pain fetish.”

I shook my head at him.
No way
— his nails scratched around my ribcage then he pinched my nipple hard. A shower of tingles littered my chest and I moaned unknowingly.
Fuck
. I had a pain fetish. At least under Justin’s tutelage I seemed too. Without my permission, my body twisted, pushing against his hands, wanting more.

He obliged me. Exploring, pinching, sucking and biting until I let out a broken groan, exploding into a mind-altering orgasm without him having to touch “IT” once. My body quaked as every pinch and bite burned deliciously. Justin kissed over every mark gently as I struggled to stay in this wondrous numbed state.

He slid up next to me, resting on his elbow while he ran his fingers through my hair.

“Shit,” I mumbled, surprised I
could
like pain, and deeply shocked I was still craving more.

He stared at me as his fingers continued to play in my hair. I didn’t want him to stop, and closed my eyes so I could concentrate on the weightless feeling of my body.

“Trey, I... I, um, think you might need this,” he breathed out. “Ernie works part-time as a professional Dom and—”

I shook my head slightly. “No. No bondage.”

“That’s not where I was going. He could teach me what you desire— what you need.” He ran his fingers down the nape of my neck then pinched. I sighed as the numbness spread across my shoulders. I’d never felt like this before, and I could feel the addiction sinking in. It was the weirdest thing to feel completely safe and relaxed in a pain infused fog, nevertheless I did. I really did, and I wanted to stay in here forever.
Should that terrify me?
Right now I couldn’t find the energy to care.