The Dark Angels: Tied Together (18 page)

Thankfully, Darius broke the silence by answering Dusty.

“Angel is most certainly not jealous of you, Dusty. He has me and I am quite high maintenance.” Everyone gave the expected chuckle, then Darius said, “Now let’s get back to practicing the last song cause you sounded a bit slow, Dusty.”

Dusty snorted but started the intro to the song. And everyone breathed a sigh of relief.

That night Robin took Megan up on her offer to introduce him to Stephen Carmen. She knew Robin wanted to change the story being told by the tabloids so she said it would be good for Robin to be seen out. Josh heard Megan tell him that Robin being seen out didn’t mean they were dating or anything. She said Stephen understood Robin wasn’t looking for anything more than light conversation.

The same night, Josh proceeded to get very drunk and continued every night he knew Robin and Stephen were meeting up. It ate at his guts but he didn’t say anything. He pretended everything was fine, and he drank. Dusty kept him company and didn’t judge.

A couple of weeks, six articles about Robin’s heartbreak over Josh’s supposed infidelity, and four dates later for Robin and Stephen, Angel announced they would be finally shooting the video to accompany their upcoming single that was to be released the following month. They finally had the huge warehouse and it was all set for them to film. They flew out to LA to do the shoot.

So bright and early, The Dark Angels were standing around waiting when a pleasant looking guy strolled up to them.

“About time you hired me to direct a video for you.” He slapped Angel on the back.

Dusty shook his hand. “No choice, Shawn. Everyone else was busy.” He laughed tossing his blond hair over his shoulders to grin at Angel.

“Screw you Dusty,” the director said with a smile. He turned to Robin, Josh and Darius to shake their hands. “Nice to meet you guys in person.”

Josh asked, “So you guys really have known each other since high school?”

“Yeah, same gym class.” The director looked around and said, “Let me get this started so we have a hope of being done today.”

He clapped his hands. “Okay, people. Let’s do this. I know you are all busy so let’s do this video. The general idea is just to give a visual to the beautiful words of the song. It’s all about love and helping people we love and just being loved. So let’s shoot you guys first.” He said pointing to Josh and Robin. “Darius, Dusty, and Angel why don’t you take about two hours or so and just relax.”

Angel smirked and grabbed Darius’s hand to pull him away from the group. His intentions were clearly broadcasted to anyone who looked over in their general direction.

The director sighed with good nature. “Use my trailer, if you must.”

“Come on, Shawn. You know Angel must,” Dusty said smirking.

Shawn shook his head as he chuckled softly. “The sheets are clean,” he muttered to no one in particular.

“Ha! They won’t be for long. Thanks Shawn, you are a true friend,” Angel called back to him. Darius’s face reddened as Angel dragged him away towards a trailer.

Dusty threw up his hands as he watched them go then looked over at Shawn. “You guys got Wi-Fi here?”

An assistant rushed up with the network and password information then took Dusty off to find a comfortable place to surf the web.

Shawn smiled warmly at both Josh and Robin. Robin looked a bit green around the gills. He pointed out the benefits. “The beauty of video unlike a live show, we can shoot as many takes as needed. I am going to make you two look terrific. So forget about the cameras and just try to follow my instructions. And be yourselves—the fans adore you two!”

They nodded.

“Makeup.” As soon as the adorable little pixie with the makeup case ran up, Shawn started dictating what he wanted. “I want their eyes to pop. I want Robin’s lips pinker and highlight them more. Make them even more soft and plush.” Shawn winked at the little make up wizard as she batted her long lashes back at him. “Make Josh’s cheek bones sharper and emphasis his lashes.”

The pixie moved to make the makeup magic happen while they just sat there. Since Robin was used to wearing makeup, he sat there patiently and even asked some questions as they put glitter polish over his blue-green manicure and fussed with his flawless face. Josh, on the other hand, squirmed so much the little pixie had to tell him, with a giggle, to relax.

Shawn explained what his vision was as the little make up pixie used her brushes and puffs to enhance their natural features. “I wanted to tie this to your very first interview in Rolling Stone as well as the song’s title: Two Halves of the Same Whole.” He explained what he was referring to, “I believe the words Josh used was ‘soul mates beyond eternity’ to describe your relationship.”

‘Soul mates beyond eternity’ was a phrase brought up over and over. It was distorted into something other than the love he had for Robin. Josh had always known Robin was his soul mate; he knew it within his heart. Just as he knew there would be no other...ever.

Josh’s breath hitched as he stole a glance at Robin who was studiously not looking at him. Josh shrugged. “I was feeling poetic.”
Yeah, keep it casual. That worked. It stops people from seeing
what they shouldn’t see.

The Director smiled. “Indeed. Now we are going to show that aspect of love but make it more of a suggestion.” He could see them tense and geared up to reject the idea. “All very tasteful.

Nothing out there. Just allowing people to appreciate your bond as they choose to view it.”

“What? Are we back to the twincest bullshit?” Josh felt rage course through his body and he almost raised his voice.

Robin looked upset and stared at the far wall.

Rolling his eyes, Shawn tried to mollify the boys. “No, Josh.

Not the
twincest
bullshit. I know that has been plaguing you boys, but come on. The title of the song?” He seemed sincere when he said, “I will have you do nothing, hear me,
nothing
, you aren’t comfortable with...” His voice trailed off but then picked up on his expectation of the video. “I want you guys to just be yourselves; you will be showing each other how you play your instruments. So Josh, you will help Robin finger the right chords of your bass and Robin, you will move Josh’s fingers over the right keys. Make it fun and happy.”

Josh looked over at Robin who looked away from him.

Taking a deep breath, Shawn continued. “I also want you guys to put on these sneakers; you will take one of each color.” He held up a bright blue pair and a red pair of some new brand of sneakers just hitting the market. Shawn verbally pushed past Josh’s groan of protest. “Hey, you were the ones that told the interviewer the story, how Robin’s mother who raised both of you used to dress you in matching outfits. Which I do believe also contributes to the whole twin thing. Not to worry.” Shawn mimicked a fan girl. “It will be fab!”

As they shot take after take, Robin began to loosen up. A piece of the wall that was between them was chipped away to reveal a door. Josh didn’t question it, but quickly opened it to slip in. Robin and he teased one another, laughed, and interacted normally for the first time since Darius’s birthday celebration.

He felt reconnected to Robin. Josh couldn’t contain his happiness as he was allowed back into their space. It was wonderful and right.

Saying he loved Robin wearing his favorite bass was an understatement of massive proportions. He had taken his time adjusting the strap so it lay on Robin’s hip perfectly. When his arms wrapped around him to help get the fingering right, he felt him lean back into him. It was almost normal except for little touches and catches in breath. Sexual tension seemed to be building between them and Josh was hoping it would ignite.

When it was Josh’s turn to pretend he didn’t know how to play, Robin shoulder-bumped him and giggled.
Oh, that sound was magic.

They were having so much fun. Watching Robin’s glittery nails dance across the keys filled Josh with longing. He especially liked it when Robin gently took his hand to show him hand over hand how to play the song. Josh regretted seeing their time shooting the video come to an end. Robin seemed disappointed as well.

“Do you want to grab dinner tonight, Robby?” Josh asked not hiding his hope.

Robin frowned for a second and shook his head. “I’m sorry but I can’t.”

Reality crashed in. “Oh, right. You have a date.”

“Wait. No, I can cancel it,” Robin said quickly.

No, Josh wouldn’t do that to him. “Nah, that’s okay. Go have fun with what’s his name. Stevie?”

Robin’s frown deepened as he corrected, “Stephen.”

“Whatever,” Josh said as he turned and walked away.

A week later, the tabloids were reprinting old pictures with new captures regarding them. A lot of them focused on Josh’s many affairs with random women. One even suggested The Dark Angels were breaking up. The stories were pure fiction but they sold copies.

As Josh watched the finished video with the band, he saw Shawn had been right. The love he and Robin had for each other shone through in everything they did. They didn’t need to do anything salacious, just playing together on the keyboard or bass, their love for each other came off them in waves.

Hell, putting on their shoes together, just smiling at each other or laughing with each other as the new song played, it was clear there was love there. Anyone who looked could see there was more between them. They really were an example of two halves of the same whole.

Josh looked around at the other guys in the room. Angel and Darius were cuddled up together grinning and enjoying everyone’s antics on the screen. They were happy with the video.

Dusty seemed a bit more quiet than usual. He had been cast in the role of the person still looking for his other half in any way shape or form. Shawn was scary good at capturing snapshots of the band’s reality.

Robin just stared at the screen with watery eyes, biting his lower lip. He was clearly upset. Josh could feel the pain he was going through as if it were his own. He was probably worried about Stephen seeing this video and what he would think of their interaction.

Josh felt like his feelings for Robin were broadcast loud and clear. They were all right there but Robin clearly didn’t want his love. Josh couldn’t take it anymore. Before the video ended, he jumped up and left.

Josh sighed as he saw Dusty walk into the bar. He’d come to Josh’s rescue yet again. “This seems to becoming a habit. People are gonna talk.” He teased Josh, trying to lighten the mood as he sat down next to him.

Josh growled. “They already are!” He shot back the double shot of whiskey and gestured for a refill.

“How many of those have you had?” Dusty asked with concern that he didn’t bother to hide.

Josh picked up the new glass and looked at it for a moment and then slammed back the dark amber liquid. He took comfort in feeling the burning bite all the way down to his stomach.

“Including this one?” Dusty shook his head and Josh couldn’t help but smirk. “Not nearly enough.” He had lost count, but the fact that he was still sitting upright suggested he hadn’t had nearly enough. Josh waved to the bartender to give him another.

Dusty waved the bartender away, and tried to distract Josh.

“Hey, you’re pounding them back so fast you haven’t let them hit your system.”

Josh thought about that for a moment. “Hmmm, probably so.” Dusty was a good friend, he stayed with him, drank a little, and just sat next to him. Dustin made sure he got home okay each and every time. “Don’t want to sound like an ass, but don’t you have anything better to do than follow me?” Josh asked as he was trying to remember if the bartender had given him the drink he asked for and he’d slammed it back without feeling it. Didn’t matter. He asked for another one.

Dusty frowned as he answered, “No man, I don’t have anything better to do than hunt your drunk ass down. It is immensely entertaining for me to watch you get drunk.”

Josh snorted. He thought that was pretty funny or maybe the alcohol was kicking in.

“So what’s the deal? You trying for alcohol poisoning or coma?”

“Multiple choice. Damn, I didn’t study.” Josh looked over at Dustin who seemed to be blurrier than usual.

“Dude, you’ve been drinking like a fuck-up for the past two months. Every minute we are done practicing you’re drinking to get drunk. I haven’t said anything. I figured you have shit going on so I’ve just been letting you do your thing.” Dusty sighed.

“But tonight, you aren’t even letting yourself settle for a buzz.”

“So?” Josh wanted to know why that would be an issue for anyone but him.

Dusty leaned forward to spell it out for Josh…slowly. “You know, you coming to practice with hangovers is starting to wear on everyone, especially Robin.”

“Ha!” Josh would have laughed if it hadn’t hurt so fucking much. Other than making the video, Robin had not even spoken to him since Darius’s birthday. Not really. Oh sure, he answered questions with yes or no, but as far as conversations or doing things together it was like Josh had caught the plague.

“What?” Dusty questioned and by the look in his eye Josh was pretty sure he had guessed the root of the problem.

“Robin couldn’t give a shit about me. He hasn’t talked to me in weeks. Robby’s too wrapped up in Stevey or Stephen or whatever the fuck his name is.”

Dusty ran his hand down through his long blond hair before shaking his head. “Doubt that, man. He’s upset that you’re drinking so much.” Josh arched an eyebrow forcing Dusty to admit, “And he is upset with all the recent shit in the tabloids, not to mention the wild fan fiction on The Dark Angels.”

“Yeah, tabloids twist the truth and the fan fiction can be just twisted,” Josh said as he felt the bar moving slightly. Dusty wasn’t reacting to it so he must be well on his way to a nice blissful drunk.

Dusty put a hand on Josh’s shoulder. “Look man, it bites. But just because it is on the Internet doesn’t make it true. I mean have you seen the fan fiction on me?” Dusty saw he was losing Josh.