The Darcys of Pemberley (31 page)

Dear Elizabeth,

I was quite distressed by your letter, as you
might well imagine. How selfish I have been to impose so long upon
your good nature and sisterly friendship! If I have caused any
irreparable harm to you or my brother by insisting on your secrecy,
I shall never forgive myself. By all means, you must explain
whatever you feel necessary to make my brother understand that you
have not been false to him in any way. If he is angry, let it be
with me, for it was I who refused to tell him about my situation or
allow you to do so. You always urged me to be open with him; I will
gladly to testify to that at any time. I just pray it is not too
late to undo what damage I may have done.

Tell my brother what you will. I am beyond
caring. My hopes for Colonel Fitzwilliam have all been in vain.
Make no mistake; he is kind and attentive as always, so I can find
no fault in his behavior. He watches over me just as my own brother
would do, which is precisely the problem. Even after all the time
we have spent together, with ample opportunity for him to see me in
a different light, Fitzwilliam continues to treat me as if I were
his sister. There is nothing more I can do to encourage him, at
least not within the bounds of propriety. I can only conclude that
he is incapable of caring for me as I had hoped.

The fact that he cannot return my affection
does not change what I now know with certainty; my attachment to
him is just as strong as it ever was, perhaps stronger. I was only
deceiving myself when I thought otherwise. Under the circumstances,
it would be wrong of me to accept Mr. Sanditon’s generous proposal,
and I shall have to tell him so when I return. Perhaps in time I
will be able to love someone else. Until then, I must be content to
remain single. As you see, Elizabeth, I have taken to heart the
wise counsel you gave me on that subject.

Now that everything is settled and my
decisions are made, I am desperate to be home again. I miss
Pemberley and both of you excessively, and there is no reason to
linger here a moment longer. Consequently, Mrs. Collins and I are
leaving almost at once and should be back with you the day after
you receive this letter. Give my brother my love and my apologies.
For the trouble I have caused you both, please forgive me.

Georgiana

As she read, Elizabeth became conscious that
the room had fallen silent. Darcy and Mr. Sanditon sat in rapt
attention, waiting for her to finish and not even attempting to
continue their conversation in the meantime. When Elizabeth read
the part that most concerned Mr. Sanditon, she instinctively
glanced in his direction and found him looking at her anxiously,
probably hoping for some good news or fearing bad. In the end,
however, all she could offer the gentlemen was the report that
Georgiana and Mrs. Collins were already on their way home and could
be expected to arrive the following day.

“For such a long letter, that is very little
information,” said Darcy.

“The rest is more personal, between sisters,”
she explained.

“Why does she send such a routine
correspondence by express, then?” Darcy asked.

“She was leaving immediately and wished the
letter to arrive in advance of her, I imagine,” said Elizabeth, “to
acquaint us with her plans.”

“I suppose that makes sense. Does she say
that Fitzwilliam is accompanying them on the journey?” he further
inquired.

“She does not say. Although, since that was
the prior arrangement and she reports no alteration, I would be
inclined to think he is.”

“You must both be very pleased to have your
sister finally returning to you,” said Mr. Sanditon. “I hope that I
may call again in a few days to have the pleasure of seeing her
myself.”

“Certainly, my good fellow,” said Darcy. “You
are welcome here at any time.”

The news of Georgiana’s imminent return sent
Mr. Sanditon into a state of discomposure. He restlessly moved
about the room, unable to resume the easy conversation the three
had enjoyed before the arrival of the letter. The effort soon
became too much for him; he made his excuses and departed.

“What do you suppose came over the man,”
asked Darcy, after their friend had gone. “He was behaving very
oddly.”

“I believe I can shed some light on that
question, along with a few others. This letter from your sister is
what I have been waiting for. Read it, my love, and you will
understand.” Elizabeth handed it to him, thus allowing Georgiana to
tell her own story.

Darcy gave his wife a quizzical look, but did
as she advised. As he scanned down through the letter, he uttered
exclamations of surprise with each new revelation. Then, when he
had finished, he read the whole thing through a second time, more
slowly to better digest the contents.

Elizabeth waited, a little anxious for her
husband’s reaction, yet relieved that he would finally know the
whole truth. When he was ready, she answered all his questions and
soothed his wounded honor as best she could.

“… My dear, be assured that, had anything
come of either Georgiana’s attachment to Colonel Fitzwilliam or Mr.
Sanditon’s proposal to her, you would have been consulted
immediately. Now, however, it looks as if both possibilities have
come to naught, and we shall soon have your sister back home with
us just as before. I hope you will not be too harsh with her,
Darcy. It has been a year of great turmoil for her; she needs our
understanding more than anything else.”

He stood and strode across the room, taking a
minute before responding. “I cannot profess to be pleased that all
this has been going on behind my back. Still, it seems no harm has
been done, so I shan’t make too much of it. I suppose it would be
best if I said nothing at all about the matter to Georgiana … and
certainly not to the two gentlemen involved. I shall pretend to be
just as ignorant as I was before. There. Will that suit everyone,
do you think?” he asked dryly.

“Considering your distaste for disguise,
Darcy, perhaps you would have been happier not knowing after all,”
she said lightly.

“Very amusing, Lizzy.” After a thoughtful
pause, Darcy continued, more seriously, “Since we are laying all
our cards on the table now, there is one more thing you should
know. The morning after you had your scare on the path by the
brook, I rode over to confront Wickham about it, since, as you
know, I immediately suspected he was behind the trouble.”

“I did wonder where you had gone. What was
his reaction?”

“Just as I expected, he denied any
involvement. Yet, in the hopes of discouraging any further mischief
on his part, I wanted him to know that we were on alert.”

“I hope you succeeded there, Darcy.”

“I doubt that very much. He told me defiantly
that your coming away unscathed proved he was not responsible, for,
if
he
should ever intend to harm my family, he would not
fail.”

Elizabeth gasped. “That sounds like a
threat!”

“It may be only pride and bravado. Still, I
think we must take it seriously – as a gauge of his attitude if
nothing else.”

Lydia’s Complaint

Georgiana’s pending arrival became the chief
focus of the household straight away. Mrs. Reynolds, who fairly
doted on the young lady, personally undertook arrangements for the
girl’s long-anticipated return to Pemberley. Her rooms were aired,
the unused linens changed, and a vase of fresh flowers placed on
her bedside table. Elizabeth spoke to Cook and ordered some of
Georgiana’s favorites for the following day’s dinner to celebrate
her homecoming.

Whilst all these preparations were underway
that afternoon, Elizabeth was informed that she had a visitor
awaiting her in the drawing room.

“Why, Lydia, what do you do here?” Elizabeth
exclaimed in surprise upon seeing her.

“Must I have a particular reason to visit my
sister?”

“Of course not. I am always glad to see you.
How are you getting on at the cottage?”

“Oh, I like the house well enough, and Sarah
keeps everything in good order. But I am
so
bored, Lizzy,”
Lydia repined. “All our neighbors are either tremendously old or
exceedingly dull. There’s not a solitary young or lively person
within miles as far as I can tell.”

“You have only just arrived in the
neighborhood. You are bound to find friends more to your liking
before long. And you will discover that managing your own home can
occupy a good deal of your time and interest.”

“Lord, no. I am sure you are wrong on both
counts. I have no patience for tedious household affairs, and the
other tenants can have nothing to say that would interest me. All
they know is working the ground, managing livestock, and tending
their unwashed children. How can Wickham and I be expected to
survive in such dreary society?”

“I am sorry you are unhappy, Lydia,” said
Elizabeth with growing impatience. “Mr. Darcy has gone to a good
deal of trouble to provide you with an agreeable situation at his
own expense. You have a comfortable home, a maid, and the prospect
of a good income, which is far more than many of your neighbors do.
Perhaps it is time you adopt a more realistic view of life, and
accept the fact that the world does not exist solely for the
purpose of entertaining you.”

“There is no call for you to be so high and
mighty, Lizzy. After all, it is easy enough for
you
to say
such things when you can have as much company as you wish and go
into town whenever you please.”

“Mr. Darcy and I live very quietly for the
most part. Our entertaining and our time in London are primarily
for Georgiana’s benefit, not to please ourselves. As a single young
lady, it is more important for her to circulate in society than it
is for married women like you and me.”

Lydia’s lament turned back to an old, but not
forgotten, grievance. “If only Papa could have been prevailed upon
to see things in that way. I think it very unfair that he denied us
girls the advantage of a London season or two. Balls and parties
every night – just imagine what fun we could have had.”

Elizabeth could more easily imagine how much
mischief Lydia could have made in such a setting. “Georgiana will
be home soon. If you wish to know what a London season is really
like, perhaps you can persuade her to tell you about it
sometime.”

“When does she arrive?”

“In point of fact, we expect her tomorrow,
with Charlotte. You will like to see Charlotte again, Lydia, and I
can introduce you to Mrs. Sanditon as well. That will expand your
social circle, and you will meet others from the parish at
church.”

“That is all very well. But according to my
husband, we will never be able to cultivate the right sort of
friends here, because Mr. Darcy has poisoned the minds of everyone
for miles round about against him. It was very impolitic for him to
have done it too, my Wickham says.”

“Mr. Darcy has done no such thing! I beg you
would tell your husband so. If anything has sunk Mr. Wickham’s
character, it is his own exploits.”

“Well, I do not know who is to blame, but it
is very vexing. My life is not turning out at all as I had
imagined, Lizzy, and now there is a new problem.”

“And what is that, pray?” asked Elizabeth,
expecting some trivial complaint.

“Do you remember when I last visited you
here? We were talking about babies, and you said what a blessing it
was that I had none, since I did not want them.”

“…Yes.”

“Well, it appears my good fortune has run out
on that head.”

“You are with child? Oh, Lydia, this is
excellent news!” Elizabeth moved to embrace her sister, but Lydia
drew back.

“Excellent, do you say? It is hardly that.
Wretched bad luck is what I call it.”

“I know it must have come as a surprise,
dear,” Elizabeth said, taking Lydia’s hand, “but cannot you see?
This could be the very thing you and Wickham need to make a fresh
start. Having a child to love and care for will give you something
to think of beyond yourselves. You now have more reason than ever
to build a good life here, and I daresay, once the baby arrives,
you will never have time to be bored again.”

“No doubt you believe every woman should be
overjoyed at the prospect of motherhood, but I am not! And I am
sure to feel Wickham’s displeasure too when I tell him.”

“Oh, my dear, I trust you are wrong there.
The prospect of becoming a father is a very powerful thing; it can
change a man.”

“Stop it, Lizzy!” Lydia said, pulling her
hand away. “Stop trying to make out that there is a bright side to
this disaster. Do you not understand me? I
do not want it
,
the baby or any of the bother that comes with it. Could I but get
the money, I would see someone and have done. I have heard there is
a certain woman in Birmingham who will take care of such ‘female
complaints’ for a price.”

Elizabeth gasped. “God in heaven! You cannot
mean that, Lydia. Allow yourself time to adjust, to get used to the
idea. In a few months, I am sure you will judge differently.”

“Then you will not help me?”

“How do you mean?”

“Fifty guineas would be nothing to you.”

“Did you actually come here hoping that I
would give you the means to get rid of your child? I could never do
that! May God forgive you for even contemplating such a thing.”

“Then I am truly lost,” Lydia sighed. “You
were my only hope. If you will not help me, I may as well go home,
tell Wickham, and brace for the worst.” She stood to depart.

“Lydia, wait. You must not leave in such a
state. While I cannot do as you ask, I promise I will help you any
other way possible. You may think what lies ahead is a disaster,
but it need not be so. And you need not go through it alone.
Please, do try to be a little more optimistic, dear.”