The Darcys of Pemberley (11 page)

Elizabeth stroked her hair and waited
patiently for the tears to run their course. When the upheaval
finally came to a close, she tried again. “I am worried about you,
dearest. Something is obviously troubling you. Please tell me what
it is. Let me help you.”

“You cannot help me; no one can!” cried
Georgiana, barely able to choke out the words before emotion
overtook her once more.

After a bit, Elizabeth ventured gently, “I
think perhaps I can guess what has distressed you. Does it have
something to do with Fitzwilliam’s engagement to Anne?”

At this, Georgiana sat up and threw herself
into Elizabeth’s arms. “Oh Lizzy!” she wailed in despair. For a
long while, Georgiana cried inconsolably, cleaving tightly to her
sister-in-law, who rocked her back and forth like a mother would
her injured child. At last, when her sobbing subsided and a
dejected calmness took its place, Georgiana confessed. “The truth
is, Elizabeth … the truth is, I have been in love with Fitzwilliam
for years.”

“My poor dear! No wonder, then.”

“I do not only admire him, as I do my
brother. It is much more. I love him as a woman loves a man, so
deeply, so sincerely. Since he never married, I dared to hope that
he might learn to return my affection in time. Now that I am
finally old enough, though, he has engaged himself to someone else!
I can never tell him that I love him; I will never know if he could
have loved me. How shall I bear it, Lizzy? How can I watch all my
dreams turn to dust and see dear Fitzwilliam married to my cousin
instead?”

Lady in Distress

Elizabeth could proffer the girl no effectual
aide and little comfort. She knew platitudes could not ease so
fresh a sting, and offering false hope would be cruel. Even if
Fitzwilliam were made aware of Georgiana’s feelings for him and be
disposed to reciprocate, his sense of honor would on no account
allow him to break his commitment to Anne. Furthermore, there was
no reason to suppose that he would wish to do so.

The colonel had never betrayed any hint of
romantic interest in Georgiana, and probably still thought of her
as the child he had known since she was an infant. Now that they
were both adults, the significant disparity in their ages did not
seem insurmountable – to Georgiana, at least – but only a few years
earlier, a match between the two would have been unthinkable.
Elizabeth was inclined to believe that the notion would never have
occurred to Fitzwilliam, or to her own husband for that matter.

How Darcy would react to such an idea, she
might never know since she had been charged to keep the confession
of love strictly confidential. Elizabeth was not in the habit of
keeping secrets from her husband, nor did she wish to start. But
Georgiana became so distressed, almost to the point of hysteria, at
the prospect of her brother hearing of her feelings for
Fitzwilliam, that Elizabeth finally relented and promised her
silence on the subject. In exchange, Georgiana vowed to compose
herself and return to some semblance of her regular routine as
rapidly as possible, for the sake of her health and her brother’s
peace of mind.

Her feeble pretense of normalcy fell far
short of the mark, however. Although Georgiana dutifully came to
meals, she never managed to eat more than a few bites. She sat with
them in the evening, but her conversation remained woefully
subdued. Perhaps most telling of all, her performance at the
pianoforte lacked all its usual energy and joy. The dramatic
alteration in her manner did not escape her brother’s notice.
Rather than querying his sister directly, Darcy went to his
wife.

“Something is obviously troubling Georgiana.
Do you know what it is?” he asked her.

Elizabeth had been dreading just this sort of
direct question. Now, in order to keep her promise to Georgiana,
she would be forced to respond to her husband with evasiveness if
not out and out lies. She chose her words carefully. “You are
right; I have noticed it as well. She does not seem quite
herself.”

“But do you have any idea what the problem
may be?”

“Who can say?” Elizabeth hedged. “Girls of
her age can be so emotionally volatile, so easily upset.”

“I am worried about her. Will you see what
you can discover, Lizzy? Georgiana is more likely to be candid with
you than with me, for I know she thinks of you quite as a
sister.”

“Certainly. I will be glad to have a word
with her, but I shan’t be at all surprised if she chooses to guard
her privacy very dearly. As shy as she is, I expect it would
embarrass her exceedingly to have her personal feelings and
disappointments known, even by you and me.”

As she promised, Elizabeth did speak to
Georgiana, not to determine the problem, but to try once more to
gain permission to include Darcy in his sister’s confidence. That
authorization Georgiana steadfastly refused to give. Thus,
Elizabeth was left to answer him with whatever resources of
creativity she could muster, since the benefit of simple honesty
was denied her. She returned to her husband without delay, prepared
to offer a report that contained as much truth but as few of the
actual facts as possible.

“Georgiana begs our indulgence and asks that
we respect her privacy. She claims it would be pointless to
importune her with personal questions which she has no intention of
answering,” Elizabeth informed him.

“This will not do! I cannot simply dismiss
the matter out of hand, without any sort of reasonable explanation.
As her brother and her guardian, I have the duty to aid and protect
her. If someone has harmed or insulted her…”

“No, my dear,” Elizabeth interrupted. “I am
certain it is nothing of that sort. I voiced the same concerns and
offers of assistance, but she has assured me she is not injured and
there is nothing to be done for her at present. Truly, I think the
kindest thing we can do is what she asks – to respect her privacy,
and trust her to come to us if she needs our help or wishes to
confide. Georgiana is a sensible young woman. Given time, I am sure
she will recover from whatever ails her and be quite herself
again.”

“But why will she not tell me what is
troubling her?” he asked pacing the room. “I have seen her through
all manner of difficulties in the past. This … problem … whatever
it is, can hardly be more serious or more personal than what we
have already come across.”

“She is an adult now and, as such, must be
allowed to sort these things out for herself if she chooses. Would
not you agree? We will only distress her further by attempting to
force a confidence from her, Darcy.”

“I must say, I do not like it one bit –
watching her suffer without being allowed to do anything. However
…” He paused and sighed heavily. “If you are fully convinced this
is the wisest course, I shall defer to your good judgment,
Elizabeth.”

“Thank you, my love,” she said, kissing him
on the cheek. “It will be for the best. You will see.”

~*~

A few weeks passed, and Georgiana gradually
improved. When she and Elizabeth talked, the painful topic was
scrupulously shunned. Darcy, who was equally eager to avoid causing
his sister pain, labored under the distinct disadvantage of being
kept in complete ignorance. Not knowing what would or would not be
safe to utter in her presence severely limited his conversation.
His comments to his sister were thereby mostly confined to the
subtleties of the weather, which he felt certain could not cause
Georgiana any undue distress.

Since Kitty was still with them, she was
pressed into service providing Georgiana with some diversion. The
two young ladies had little in common except the closeness of their
ages. Still, Elizabeth hoped Kitty’s frivolous nature and trivial
pursuits might serve to distract Georgiana from all subjects sad
and serious, since it is difficult to be melancholy when discussing
the latest fashion for hats and gowns.

Georgiana’s improved state of mind was
further secured by the fact that the Darcys received no letter or
visit from Colonel Fitzwilliam during this time. His name did not
even come up in conversation until plans were made for a small
dinner party at Pemberley. With the cold and damp of February
recently keeping them confined too much indoors, Mr. Darcy proposed
that a little company would be the very thing to relieve the tedium
and gloom. He hoped that Georgiana especially might benefit from
some variety.

Elizabeth fully supported the idea until her
husband announced that he intended to make Fitzwilliam one of the
party. A most unwelcome development, yet she could think of no way
to circumvent the invitation without giving the very explanation
she was forbidden to disclose. Hence, once the date had been fixed
upon, the honor of the colonel’s presence was requested, along with
that of Charlotte, Ruth, Mr. Sanditon, Mr. Thornton and the
Bingleys. All that remained was for Elizabeth to prepare Georgiana
for the trial of seeing Fitzwilliam again. As expected, Miss Darcy
did not hear the news with composure.

“Fitzwilliam coming here? No, I cannot see
him. It is impossible!”

“I know it will be difficult. Still, you must
try to bear his coming, dearest. This was bound to happen sooner or
later. I wish for your sake it could have been postponed a few
months more, but it cannot be prevented now.”

“Then I shall simply say that I am unwell and
keep to my room,” Georgiana declared.

“That is precisely what you must
not
do if you wish to keep your brother in the dark about your
feelings. He is unlikely to consider it a coincidence if every time
the colonel turns up you take to your bed.”

“But I shall not know how to behave. If I am
forced to face Fitzwilliam, everyone will surely notice something
is amiss. That is just as likely to raise speculation as if I avoid
him altogether,” she protested.

“Then we shall aim for something between the
two – minimize your exposure to Fitzwilliam without being pointedly
evasive. You must be prepared to say a few words to him when he
arrives, I suppose, but otherwise you should be able to give him a
wide berth. Take heart, my dear. Although I am unable to modify the
guest list, I can assist you with the seating arrangement. It is a
large enough group that, with you at one end of the table and the
colonel at the other, you will not be obliged to talk to him or
even look at him throughout the whole of dinner.”

~*~

By the day of the event, Georgiana’s distress
had somewhat dissipated. With Elizabeth’s coaching and
encouragement, she now considered it feasible to get through the
evening without disaster. She bolstered her confidence by
rehearsing a polite but impassive greeting for the colonel, and
practicing a neutral expression at her mirror. Whenever possible,
she meant to forget Fitzwilliam was even present by throwing
herself into conversation with whomsoever else was at hand. With
this strategy and a little luck, Georgiana thought she might
narrowly maintain command of her emotions.

The party from Heatheridge arrived first that
afternoon. Mr. Bingley alighted, handed out his sister Caroline,
and then assisted his wife from the carriage. There was no
disguising Jane’s condition any longer; she had grown large with
child in the weeks since the ball. Her altered form and weight now
required that change of posture and movement so typical of
expectant mothers. Observing her, Elizabeth thought her sister had
never looked more beautiful.

The three Bingleys had just got inside when
Mr. Sanditon’s carriage came into view. He brought with him the
ladies from the cottage as well as Mr. Thornton. So the group was
complete excepting one. Colonel Fitzwilliam arrived just before
dinner.

Considering that delay would only prolong her
misery, Georgiana had resolved to face the inevitable discomfort of
meeting the colonel straightaway. Yet, when the moment was upon
her, her nerve failed, and she was unable to force her feet in his
direction. This did not long spare her, since the gap that the lady
found so impassable was soon easily closed by the gentleman
himself.

At Fitzwilliam’s approach, Georgiana’s
rehearsed speech deserted her. Her practiced countenance fell into
disarray. She averted her eyes as she tried desperately to regain
her composure.

Elizabeth, who was already on alert for signs
of trouble, saw Georgiana’s panicked expression. She was prevented
from coming to her aid, however, by Caroline Bingley, who
interposed herself to inquire after the welfare of the Bennet
family.

“Georgiana, my dear, how well you look,” said
Fitzwilliam. “I was distressed when you became ill the last time I
was here. I am delighted to find you now so completely
recovered.”

She managed a weak thank-you, her eyes still
focused the floor.

After waiting in vain for anything further,
the colonel following her gaze downward and teased, “Your shoes
are
quite lovely, my dear. Are they new? Is that why you
study them so sincerely, or is your old friend too terrifying to
look at?”

The colonel’s playful manner, usually so
disarming, failed to put Georgiana at ease. “Forgive me,” she
mumbled. “I was thinking of something else.”

“Of course.”

Georgiana then launched into her planned
greeting. “I am glad you were able to come tonight, Colonel
Fitzwilliam. I hope you will have a pleasant evening,” she said
rather stiffly.

“Goodness, how formal we are today, ‘Miss
Darcy.’ Perhaps I should have dressed a level higher,” he said with
amusement.

Georgiana gave him a wan smile. “Will you
please excuse me, Colonel? I must see to the other guests.” She
left Fitzwilliam standing there with a bemused look upon his face,
more diverted than offended at the young lady’s odd behavior.
Dinner was then announced, bringing the awkward episode to a
close.