Anna took her pen and jotted something down.
“Something you may find interesting is that I like to compare the curse to a black widow spider,” Alister said.
“A black widow spider?”
Alister tilted his head. “Why do you do that?”
“I'm sorry, but do what?”
He studied her. “You really don't hear yourself?”
Anna paused. “Do I have to ask what it is that I'm supposed to be hearing?”
“Your evasiveness. It's like you try and buy time by repeating my statements in question format.”
“I don't mean to do that.”
“I find it annoying.”
“We were going to talk about why you compare the curse to the black widow spider.”
Alister scratched his chin and cheek. “Well, it's death's job to take a life at specified times, and it is the black widow's job to kill the male after they mate.”
“I suppose you're talking about the female eating the male after they mate?”
“That's right.”
Anna rolled her eyes. “That's as far-fetched as saying human mothers kill all their young. Yeah, you will get a few females that kill their young, but that is not perceived as normal behavior. The idea people have about the black widow killing their mate is a complete misconception.”
Alister's heart sank. “Human mothers do kill their young. I saw that with my own eyes.” He swallowed hard. The lump in his throat was huge. “Besides, I'm merely trying to make a point.”
Anna nodded in acceptance, and Alister could see her resistance. She obviously liked to base discussions on pure fact and anything else was senseless.
“Let us just say that killing their mate
is
common practice for the black widow spider, and for the sake of easy understanding, we'll say that behavior is preprogrammed by nature and must be obeyed absolutely. Suppose that spider finds one male that it likes so much it doesn't want to kill it. It goes against the rules of its programming, against the impossible, and allows the male to live so she can have him for herself.” Alister fell silent and then said, “I believe that is the plan death has for me.”
“Death wants you all for itself, and no one else can live?” Anna sat quiet for a moment. “So you're saying death is a person or entity rather than an event or progression of life?”
Alister swayed as he wrestled with her terminology.
“I've always viewed death as beingâa living, breathing, thinking entity that kills,” Alister said.
“That is an interesting way of looking at it.”
“Whether interesting or not, doctor, I have since learned it is a fact.”
“If this curse is living, as you suggest, does that mean it too can die?”
Alister shrugged. “I don't know the order of nature, but I believe it has feelings like you and I do. Flawed according to what our perception of what feelings are, but it has feelings nevertheless.”
“What made you come to such conclusions?”
“I don't know,” Alister said, and he pondered the innermost thoughts he hadn't had the opportunity to put into words. “Experience, I suppose. There are times when I can actually feel the connection we have.”
“And what does that connection feel like?”
Alister crossed his legs and considered the question. His gaze moved outside the room and into the garden. The wilted roses that were trampled and starved of all love, light and care painted the perfect picture of how he felt. He felt disliked, uncared for, unwanted and alienated. The horrible feeling that consumed him seemed inescapable.
“I'm not really sure,” he finally said. He found the emotional anguish he would have to endure to explain the details meaningless. The person he was sharing his demons with would be dead soon enough, so, really, how sensible would that be?
Besides, he battled those demons every day.
By himself.
“It's lonely,” he said, and he closed his eyes. “So awfully cold and lonely. And the worst part is I see no end in sight.”
Anna put a hand on top of Alister's. “I can help you through this.”
Alister's eyes moved to Anna's hand and he pulled away. He didn't do that because her touch offended him or because it had been so long since he had had any contact with anyone; he welcomed the effort. It was just that he didn't remember someone's touch being so cold. Her hands were like ice.
“I'm sorry,” Anna said. “I hope I didn't offend you.”
Alister shook his head. “No, you didn't. It's not that.”
“What is it?”
“Surprise, I suppose.” The truth was better left unsaid sometimes.
A long moment of awkward silence thickened the air.
“I'm sorry to say there is nothing you can do for me,” Alister said. “Just like there is nothing I can do for you.”
“I think you underestimate my abilities, Mr. Kunkle.”
Alister peered out the window. The death that surrounded his area of the building seemed to have spread. It had made its way beyond the reach of his eyes.
“And I think you underestimated the stories you heard before you came to talk with me. You should've listened to them.”
Anna laughed. “I have. But I've paid more attention to the belief that I can help you through this.”
“And your arrogance has cost you more than you know! Every smile, laugh and outright denial of its existence mocks it. And I can assure you that's a big mistake. I've seen what it can do.”
“I'm not afraid.”
“I've heard that before, and it is usually followed by begging and screams for mercy.”
Anna uncrossed her legs and stood. “I'm sorry you're scared, but I need you to trust me.”
Alister shook his head in irrefutable certainty. “Trust is something I can no longer give.”
“I think that will come in time.”
“Time is something you're running short on.”
“And if I promise to return tomorrow and actually come back?” Anna raised a brow. “What then?”
Alister looked to Anna with hope on the surface, but the doubt ran deep. “Then you'd be the first to do so in nearly forty years if you want to include the twenty-five years of silence I've had to endure inside these walls.”
“Twenty-five years?” Anna said.
“Twenty-five years, doctor, and stop doing that.”
“Tell me, what do you think of when I say the word flower?”
Alister's expression tightened. “What?”
“A flower. Tell me what you think it resembles.”
Alister mulled over her question, and no matter what angle he looked at it from, he got the same answer. “Death.”
“I say it represents life, love and hope.”
“That's because you're naive.”
Anna grabbed her briefcase and readied herself to leave. “You never answered the question I asked before, Alister. What if I were to return?”
Alister hoped she would return in the morning, but he knew better. The overdue reminder that he was cursed would come, and the invisible demon would deliver it without flowers. He wiped his sweaty palms on his pajama leg.
“I can't answer that because I don't believe you're going to return. It's not possible.” He licked his lips. “Is that answer acceptable?”
“It is honest, and I appreciate that,” Anna said, and she moved toward the door. She looked over her shoulder before she exited. “It was nice meeting you, Alister. I hope I've given you some things to think about until I return in the morning. And just so you know, I will be returning.”
“Doctor?” Alister asked, his focus back outside the window. “I would like to tell you it was nice talking to you, but the smile you'd give me in return will only come back to haunt me when I hear of your death.”
Chapter 5
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DOING THE IMPOSSIBLE
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Alister rubbed his tired eyes and moved from the bed to his chair. Concerns for the doctor and the uncertainty of her return kept him frustrated and awake.
He stretched and yawned and looked out the window. Against the skepticism that ran so deep that it was a part of his being, he searched the darkness for something positive.
Murky shadows stretched across the garden, which was teeming with a thick fog that lingered and swirled as if it had life of its own.
Alister looked to the clock over the door and sighed. He knew every second of the three hours until morning would feel like a lifetime. Constant contemplation and a million different scenarios playing out in his mind allowed him no peace.
When he returned his gaze to the garden, a shadowy figure concealed by the backdrop of trees and morphing mist caught his attention.
He stood, pressed his forehead against the window and tried not to blink. The figure seemed to look back at him even though its features were nearly impossible to make out. A black cloak long enough to drag on the ground hung off of its shoulders like garments on a hanger.
Alister slapped the window. “What is it you want from me? Take the doctor if you wish, but leave me alone!”
The figure drifted toward him and pulled back its hood. The face was unmistakably familiar.
“Sharon?”
The pound of his heart quickened, and he became frantic in his attempt to open the window. It was of no use; it was nailed shut, and the thick iron bars outside were impassable.
When he looked back up, Sharon reached for him and crumbled into the shadows.
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Anna sat up abruptly. The confusion of where she was and how she had gotten there fogged her mind and dulled her senses.
The room was dark and stuffy. An unfamiliar odor lingered about, and the sound of air blowing demanded her attention.
“Housekeeping.”
Anna looked at the door, at the radiator and then at the electronic clock on the nightstand. She was in a hotel and it was half past nine.
“Shit.”
She tossed the covers aside, jumped out of bed and flicked the light switch on. The glow that filled the room hurt her eyes. She rubbed away the sting.
“Come back in a half hour.”
Papers were spread across the bed, and some were on the floor. Most were crumpled from rolling on top of them while she slept.
“How could I forget to set the alarm?”
She hurried around and gathered the papers, flattening them as best she could. The notes contained details of what she had learned about Alister and the complex life he had lived.
“This just gives them reason to believe I fell victim to the curse.”
Anna turned on the shower; getting to Alister as fast as possible her top priority.
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Anna parked her car in the dirt parking lot across the street from Sunnyside Capable Care Mental Institution. Turning off the ignition, she accessed the rearview mirror. She pouted at what she saw. Her hair was damp and flat, and a purple bag hung beneath each eye.
Pushing taut fingers through her hair, she twisted the gathered mound and secured it with a hair tie. She grabbed her briefcase off of the passenger seat and exited the vehicle with optimism about what progress the day might bring.
A few hours of question and answer would help in getting to know Alister better. There was no denying how well organized he was. He paid close attention to detail and thought things through before answering as she did. Whatever trauma infected him was hidden deep, and she would have to be extra careful in bringing it to the surface.
“Look out!” someone off to her left shouted.
A car horn blared and a paralyzing tingle coursed through Anna's body. Her survival instinct shouted for her to get out of the way, but the surprise of her situation grounded her feet. The vehicle skidding toward her seemed impossible to avoid.
The bumper tapped the briefcase Anna held and knocked it out of her hand. The driver clutched the steering wheel with white-knuckled terror, and Anna's heart hammered against the inside of her ribcage. They stared at each other.
“Are you OK?” The person that shouted the warning gave Anna's arm a gentle tug and escorted her to the sidewalk.
“I was in deep thought and not paying attention.”
The man handed Anna her briefcase and waved the vehicle on. “Well, I thought the curse had caught up with you right in front of my eyes.”
Anna breathed a sigh and tried to steady the tremble in her legs. “Right, the curse. I almost forgot about that.”
“That might have been your first mistake.” He smiled and picked up a rake.
The man wore blue jeans with a collared shirt, which looked like it had been washed a thousand times. An old, dirt-stained cap was crooked on his head. “Maintenance” in bold white letters was printed on the hat, and his first name was stitched above the front left breast pocket. He had a lazy eye that held Anna's attention.
“Terry,” he said, and he pulled up his drooping pants. “I'm the groundskeeper.”
“Thank you for your help, Terry.”
“No offense, but we thought you were as good as dead, especially being how late you are.”
Anna did all she could to hide her astonishment. It seemed as though people had no problem being blunt about their superstitions.
“We were certain you were going to be found dead in your hotel room by noon today.”
Anna checked her watch. 10:23. “I'm almost sorry to disappoint everyone. But you never knowâI still have an hour and a half left.”
“I suppose you do. But I think you're being foolish by mocking it.” He raked debris out from behind a bush and pulled it into a neat pile. “The curse is serious business, and it's quite unpredictable.”
Anna couldn't help but wonder what Terry could see out of the lazy eye.
“If I'm remembering correctly,” he said, “this is the first time someone made it through an entire night after speaking to Alister.”
“Well, I find this belief in a curse rather ridiculous. I suppose you can understand where I'm coming from?”