The Curse (29 page)

He made a disgusted sound that caused her to rush her words.

“But I’ve kept information about
you
shielded from Flaeyvnn. I’ve never shared a word about … us. And won’t as long as she doesn’t know to compel me to tell her specifically about you.”

To have been born with such a formidable mind, Quinn cursed how soft his damned heart could be when it came to this woman. She hadn’t wanted to return to the Medb when he’d met her in Chechnya, and to the day he died he’d believe that she had left him back then only to protect him.

But he had a duty to the Beladors, and his connection with Kizira put Brina and the entire Belador tribe at risk. He couldn’t afford to make the mistake of folding to his emotions.

Kizira’s coming here now could be nothing more than another stab at entrapping him.

Cooling his tone, he said, “Then it seems as though I should believe Flaevynn has compelled you to come here today, correct? Since you obviously have no autonomy when it comes to using your body to get what you want.”

She blinked back tears, too strong to cry. “I came on my own today. I’ve been compelled to do a task, but it does not include seeing you, or having sex with
anyone
. I came here only to apologize for doing something I couldn’t stop, but—” She lifted her chin, fire churning her gaze to the same blazing emeralds that passion had once brought out. “Know this. I don’t regret making love with you thirteen years ago or three weeks ago and won’t let you taint something you enjoyed just as much as I did.”

She had that right.

He bloody wanted her now.

Just as much as he wanted to believe her when she said she’d been compelled.

That was the danger of playing this game. Someone would get burned and he couldn’t afford for it to be him this time. Not with so much at stake.

He knew of only one hope for getting past the shields around her mind without her catching him. He’d have to overrun her senses until she couldn’t think. Take her to the edge of climax and hold her there, separating her mind from her body.

She waited for him to acknowledge that he’d enjoyed their coupling as much as she had.

Refusing to allow the anxiety riding her gaze to deter him, he answered with cold determination. “Fine. We’ll call the shagging a draw. That make you feel better?”

She winced. “So that’s it? You aren’t willing to forgive me? Or is it that you don’t believe me?”

He looked away, searching for the anger he’d carried for weeks. How could the pain in her voice slide past his resolve and feed the guilty knot in his chest? Swinging his gaze back to her, he admitted, “I don’t know what to believe most days.”

Hope unfolded in her gaze, delicate as a rose opening to sunshine.

Did she speak the truth?

He cursed the stars above for putting him on the opposite side of a war from her.

“I am sorry, Quinn. I would never use you against your own people if I had a choice.” She floated just above the floor, moving toward him until he could feel the heat coming off of her.

He reached out and ran two fingers along her cheek. Her smile trembled. He swallowed, strangling on the urge to wrap her in his arms and keep her safe from everything, including himself.

“What is it, Quinn?”

“Foolish thoughts.”

Her sensuous lips curved with a smile. “Tell me.”

“Just wondering if we’ll ever see the day we aren’t enemies.”

“You’re not my enemy.”

He started to correct her, but she’d realize how wrong she was soon enough once he gained the information he needed.

Hadn’t that been the point of calling her in? To seduce her so he could mine her memories?

She unfolded her hands as if she intended to lift her arms and wrap them around his neck, but hesitated.

He’d been an arrogant fool to think he could do this. Sweat dampened his upper lip. He would gain the information some other way, but not by using her.

She put her hand lightly against his chest and he stifled a moan. His skin yearned to feel her hands everywhere. Her fingers toyed with the dusting of blond hair on his chest. He grasped her hand to stop her from tormenting him.

He
was supposed to be doing the tormenting.

Cupping her wrist to his lips, he kissed her skin.

She moaned as if his mouth had been somewhere far more intimate.

Her eyes were closed and her mouth slightly parted, waiting.

Reason fled with another slip of his control, leaving only the hunger that pushed him into dangerous waters. Releasing her wrist, he pulled her to him. He touched skin, lots of soft skin exposed by the backless gown.

He kissed her, savoring the taste he craved more than his next breath.

She clutched his damp hair and hugged him closer. Her lips burned against his with fierce determination, urging him to take as much as he wanted. More.

Nothing should taste this sweet. He devoured her mouth, tangling her tongue with his.

Hair finer than spun silk brushed over his hands, reminding him of times past. Her on top. A curtain of lava-red hair cascading over his chest and shoulders.

He held her with one arm, lifting a hand to cup her breast and brush a finger across her nipple. She gasped hard and tensed.

His conscience warned he had to stop now or go for broke.

Grabbing Kizira’s upper arms gently, Quinn pushed her away. “You should go.”

Her eyes blinked with confusion. “You want me to go? Why? Because you don’t trust yourself around me?”

“I accept your apology. You should go before we do something else you’d regret.”

“I would
not
regret making love with you, Quinn.”

“We’re on opposite sides of a dangerous conflict. We can’t do this.”

“Yes, we can. Don’t waste our time. I might get called back to Tŵr Medb at any moment and I don’t know when I can slip away again. If you accept my apology, then accept me.”

He had a duty to the Beladors, but he saw no honor in stealing from Kizira’s mind when he had no idea what Flaevynn might do to Kizira if she found out how he’d gained the information. “I am a danger to you.”

“Because you want to search my mind for information?”

Dear goddess,
she knew
. What had he done to give himself away?

“Stop beating yourself mentally,” she told him in a calm voice that showed no hint of worry, or anger. “I came here knowing you probably hated me for what I did, but I could not live with the guilt and hoped you’d allow me to explain. I didn’t expect you to just welcome me back in. I knew you’d need a reason to allow me to come into your room again and assumed it would be to gain information on the Medb.”

“You
expected
me to take advantage of you.” He shouldn’t take offense since he
had
baited her into his suite for an ulterior purpose, but that didn’t wipe away the film of shame sliding across his senses.

“No.” She shook her head. “You are the most honorable man I know, which is why you’re trying to push me away. You can’t go through with what you want to do, but I deserve to have my mind breached after what I did to you.”

He frowned, trying to follow her. “What are you saying, Kizira?”

“That I will make you this agreement. If you can withdraw the information you need, I won’t hold it against you, but I don’t think you can pull anything from my mind because of the way Flaevynn compels me.”

“You would
allow
me to enter your mind?” he asked with no small dose of disbelief.

“No, I’m not able to open my mind to you voluntarily. What I’m saying is that I will not feel betrayed if you can figure your way past my shields.”

“Don’t doubt that I can gain access now that you and I have a connection.”

“I have a healthy respect for the strength of your mind, Quinn, but you underestimate the power of Flaevynn’s compulsion that forces me to protect my thoughts. As long as I’m cognizant of everything around me, I won’t drop my shields. And even if you could bring yourself to harm me—which you can’t—the compulsion would force me to stop you before you rendered me unconscious.”

“What about Flaevynn? She’ll wonder how I got my intel.”

“If you and I are both successful, that won’t matter.”

“I don’t understand.”

She sighed. “As I said, I can’t share anything voluntarily, so you’ll just have to trust me that I know what I’m doing.”

“It’s not a matter of trust so much as fear over what she’d do to you.”

“I will be fine. Do you really think you can bypass my shields?”

He nodded. “Assuming I’m the kind of bastard who would use you, there is a way to push you to lose all conscious thought so I could enter your mind.” He’d have to take her to the knife’s edge of orgasm and hold her there while he dove past her defenses.

She tilted her head and gazed off while she considered his words. When her eyes lifted to his again, her lips curved in a knowing smile. “Ah … I hadn’t considered that. I’m not sure what would happen, but finding out could be enjoyable as long as you eventually finish what you start.”

This wasn’t how he’d imagined their meeting going. Not for her to offer him access to what she knew of the Medb operation.

A jolt of suspicion woke the tactical side of his mind and saddened him, but he had to ask, “Why would you do this, Kizira?”

She wrapped her arms around his neck and looked up when she said, “I did not choose to be a Medb. I have no choice in my life beyond executing Flaevynn’s orders and to be used as a tool for our coven, but I will not let her destroy you … or what we’ve shared.”

He forced his hands to stay at his sides. If he started touching her again, he’d never stop. “But you
are
a Medb and I’m a Belador. Any help you offer me will be used against the Medb to its fullest extent. What then?”

“I do not make this offer lightly, but if you trust me at all, then believe that I am working toward the day when the Medb and the Beladors can live in peace. I want us to be together, to end this insanity between your tribe and my coven, but I can’t do it alone. I need your help. With everything in motion at this point, I can’t promise that we won’t meet on a battlefield or that I won’t be compelled to do something that will make you hate me, but I don’t want to do it and I don’t want to be your enemy.”

She put her face against his chest, hugging him hard. “Search for what you want, but don’t deny me this one stolen moment of pleasure when I have so few in my world.”

He raised his hand and held it in the air, his body and mind arguing over sending her away or pulling her to him. In the end, he lowered his fingers to brush along the length of her hair. “I can’t use you that way,
Phoedra
.”
Divine one.

He felt her heartbeat quicken against his skin at the Russian endearment.

She whispered, “I haven’t heard that since our time in Chechnya. What I wouldn’t give to go back there and live forever.” She pushed away from him, her eyes pleading. “This may be the only chance you’ll have at getting past the compulsion obstacles in my mind. It won’t be easy, but I grant you my permission to do with all of me as you please. No, I beg you to do this and help us both.”

Reaching out, she grasped the edge of the towel and tugged it loose. She ran her fingers over his abdomen, then lower, stroking.

He sucked in a sharp breath and caught her wrist, facing a decision that could change the course of his and Kizira’s lives.

The future of the Medb and the Beladors might rest upon his next action.

Her lips moved with one silent word.
Please
.

May the gods forgive him. He lifted her into his arms and headed for the midnight-dark bedroom. Lowering her gently to the bed, he sat next to her and leaned over her body to drink in every inch. His heart thundered in his chest. Depending on what he learned, this might be the last time they had alone.

He ran his hand over her face. “You are even more beautiful than you were the first time I met you. I have never met another I wanted as I want you.”

Tiny lights sparkled and flickered around her in a soft starburst of glittering light. He eased the sheer material off of her shoulders, baring skin that had been moon-kissed.

Her sigh came out soft as an angel’s music.

“My lovely
Phoedra
,” he murmured.

“Me … or my body?” She sounded small and insecure, so unlike the fierce priestess she’d always been.

He knew what she asked.

Anyone else saw only a Medb witch.

He saw the woman inside. “I see
you
, Kizira.”

That must have been enough for her. The muscles in her neck and shoulders relaxed. She sat up and kissed him, her mouth raiding his lips.

His hand shook when he reached for her gown. One tug and the diaphanous material fell away, turning into tinkling sparkles of color that drifted apart.

How long had he wanted to see this body again, to hold her in his arms? He suffered equal parts of longing for the woman who gave life to his heart and guilt due to wanting his enemy.

But this beautiful creature had never been
his
enemy.

She lifted her fingers to his face. “I am yours. I have always been yours.”

Quinn lowered his head, kissing her full mouth, taking all that she would give him. He grazed a finger over one of her breasts.

She shivered, warning, “You best be ready to break through my shields, Quinn, and prepared for anything you find. I need you to help me.”

Was she only saying these things to make breaching her mental shields easier on him … or to trick him? He’d know as soon as he entered her mind.

Quinn kissed her other breast, drawing her nipple into his mouth.

She whimpered.

Sparkling bolts of light shot through the air.

When he moved his hand down her abdomen and lower, she lifted into his touch. His fingers knew this woman, remembered teasing her into a sexual fever long ago. He reveled in her response, holding her at bay every time she danced closer to climax.

When she bowed off the bed, he removed his hand and mouth, watching as she trembled, waiting for him.