The Curl Up and Dye (3 page)

***

Lily was too antsy to sleep. She changed into her pajamas, put her hair up in a ponytail, and decided to paint her toenails. It wasn’t like anyone would see them, but it was a calming task and she needed to think. She chose a pale pink shade, sat down on the floor in front of the TV, and pulled her knee up beneath her chin and began to brush on the color.

She had one coat on and was about to begin the second coat when her phone rang. She frowned as she glanced up at the clock. It was almost 9:00 p.m. She jammed the brush back in the bottle and then set it aside as she reached for the phone.

“Hello?”

“Hi, LilyAnn. It’s me.”

Lily leaned back against the sofa as a big smile spread across her face.

“Mama! What’s going on?”

Grace laughed, which made Lily shiver with longing. She missed her mother a lot.

“Nothing is going on,” Grace said. “Eddie and I were just talking about Thanksgiving and wondered if you had made plans.”

“No, no plans.”

“How would you feel if we came back to Blessings for Thanksgiving? Think you could put up with us for a couple of nights?”

“Yes! Oh my gosh, that would be wonderful!” Lily said.

Grace laughed again. “Good! I have to say, I know you’re not a baby anymore, but you’ll always be
my
baby, and I’ve been missing you something fierce.”

Lily’s eyes filled with tears. “I’ve been missing you, too, Mama. This is the best news ever. So do you know what day you’re planning to arrive?”

“The day before Thanksgiving, which means we’ll be there Wednesday and Thursday night, and then Friday morning, we’ll head on to Savannah to see his daughter and family. She recently had a baby, so Eddie and I are officially grandparents. I can’t wait to see it. It’s a girl.”

Lily’s smile slipped a little, but not much. She was perfectly willing to share her mama and tried not to think about how far away she really was from living a life that complete.

“That’s great! I’ll bet Eddie is excited, too.”

“Over the moon,” Grace said. “So… we’ll be there in time to help with cooking. Be sure and invite Mike to dinner, too. I haven’t seen him in ages.”

“Yes, I will.”

“I guess I should have asked if he’s still single. If he has a girlfriend, she might be expecting him at her place.”

Lily frowned, remembering how Mike had talked about Rachel Goodhope. “No girlfriend that I know of.”

“Okay then. Well, we’ll be there before you know it… Oh, and Eddie says to tell you hello.”

Lily rolled her eyes. That was a lie and she knew it.

“Yes, well, you tell him I said hello back.”

“I will, and honey… I can’t wait to see you. I need a hug from my Lilybug. See you soon. Bye-bye.”

“Bye, Mama,” Lily said.

Lilybug was a nickname from her past, back when life was perfect and definitely worth living. She pulled her knees up again to finish painting her toenails, but tears were welling and she couldn’t see her feet. Defeated in every way that mattered, she lowered her head and began to sob. She cried until her head hurt and her eyes were red and swollen before she managed to pull herself together. Feeling sorry for herself went nowhere.

She put the polish aside and got up to go wash her face. The floor was cold beneath her bare feet as she headed to the bathroom. She splashed water to cool her burning eyes and, as she was reaching for a towel, caught a glimpse of herself in the mirror. The woman she saw felt like a stranger. She leaned forward, glaring at her reflection.

“What have you done to yourself, LilyAnn? Where the hell did you go?”

Disgusted, she pushed away from the mirror, dried her face angrily, and stomped back to the living room to turn off the television. She’d had enough of this day. Maybe tomorrow would be better.

She went through the house, checking locks and turning out the lights, before she crawled into bed. She set the alarm, then turned out the bedside lamp, rolled over onto her side, and closed her eyes.

***

Mike was standing at his bedroom window in the dark, just like he did every night, waiting for that last light to go out. He knew it was in her bedroom, and he knew she was finally in bed. He reached for the window, flattening the palm of his hand against the chill of the glass. As always, there was a distance between them that time and location could not span.

“Good night, my love. May tomorrow be the day that when you open your eyes, you see me.”

Lily woke abruptly as the alarm began to sound.

“Lord have mercy,” she muttered, as she turned it off and got out of bed.

She staggered to the bathroom, then down the hall to the kitchen to make coffee. She turned up the thermostat on the way, wishing she’d thought to get her house shoes. The floor was cold.

As soon as she had the coffee going, she started toward the pantry, then stopped, reassessing her options. Mama and Eddie would be here in three weeks. She knew what they’d be expecting, and a part of her wanted to shock them, especially Eddie. And she wanted T. J. Lachlan to look at her like he’d looked at Rachel Goodhope. If she got the attention of the hot new guy in town, it would almost be like before—almost like having Randy Joe back.

But taking Eddie down a notch and getting T. J. to see her was a big feat. How could she make that happen?

Without thinking, she grabbed a bowl out of the cabinet and the cereal from the pantry and began pouring, then stopped. She looked down at the bowl brimming with sugar-coated cereal, then looked over at the carton of half-and-half.

Sugar and cream.

She paused, put part of the cereal back in the box, traded the half-and-half for skim milk, and ate with an eye on the clock. Recently she’d been walking to work because she liked being outdoors, but it was also good exercise. If T. J. Lachlan stayed around long enough and she lost some weight, she was convinced she could catch his eye. The thought was exciting. For the first time in years, she was looking to the future.

Fifteen minutes later, she was dressed and out the door, carrying a bag with her work shoes and iPod. Her steps were long, her shoulders back. She didn’t know she had an audience and, if she had, would have thought nothing of it. Mike was just a childhood friend, not the man she wanted to take to bed.

***

Mike was surprised to see LilyAnn walking to work again. He started to call out and offer her a ride and then noticed the bounce in her step. He couldn’t remember the last time he’d seen that and decided not to mess with a good thing. He waited until she’d passed before going out to get in his car, then went in the opposite direction. He didn’t want her to think he was spying on her.

***

It was noon when Lily shifted into the next phase. Instead of going to lunch, she put her tennis shoes back on, grabbed her purse and iPod, and headed next door to Dalton’s Fitness Center. Her stomach was in knots. Once upon a time she’d been good at trying new things. It was time to get back in the habit.

She pushed the door inward and then headed for the counter and the man behind the desk.

He looked up, smiling.

“Hello there, LilyAnn. It’s good to see you.”

“Hello, Stewart. Can I pay for a visit at a time without becoming a member?”

“You can pay for a month at a time. Would that work for you?”

She nodded. It would take way more than a month for what she intended to do.

“Yes, that would be fine.”

She wrote out the check, then followed him to the women’s locker room. He gave her a locker key and told her he’d wait for her outside while she stowed her gear. Then she grabbed her iPod and locker key and followed him back into the gym area.

Stewart paused. “So what did you have in mind? Do you just want to tone up, or is this part of a new diet regime?”

“I want to lose weight and decided to begin with some exercise during my lunch break,” she said softly.

Stewart nodded. “Okay, then I would recommend starting on the treadmill. I noticed you didn’t bring a change of clothes, so I’m assuming you plan to go back to work afterward?”

She nodded. “But I can bring a change of clothes next time.”

“Whatever works for you. If you’ll step up on this treadmill, I’ll show you how it works. You can increase or decrease speed and incline to suit yourself, but I recommend we start with a slower speed. You can amp up after you’ve been at this a while, okay?”

“Okay.”

She watched as he explained how to work it. After he walked away, she dropped the iPod in her pocket, put the earbuds in her ears, and hit Play. The music began as she started the treadmill, but it felt like much more had just happened. She’d just taken a huge step back into public life.

At first she felt awkward and anxious on the treadmill, like she was going to either walk off the front of it or roll off the back. It took her a few minutes to get the hang of the pace and then she found a rhythm. The music was moving her spirit, and her feet were moving the blood in her body faster than it had pumped in years. Before she knew it, thirty minutes had come and gone and she wasn’t nearly as tired as she’d expected to be.

There were people coming and going the entire time she’d been on the treadmill, and to her relief, not a one of them paid her any attention. She was intent on maintaining her pace as the iPod shifted to another download. But when she heard the first notes, her heart dropped. It had been ages since she’d listened to her playlist, and she had completely forgotten the song was there. Before she knew it, tears were running down her face, but she kept on walking, trying to outrun the pain.

***

Mike had been busy with errands all morning. By the time he was finished, it was almost 12:30. He came in the back door, dumping supplies as he went, then washed up before going into the gym area.

The last thing he would have expected was to see LilyAnn on one of his treadmills, but the moment he saw her, a surge of excitement swept through him.

This
is
great! She was serious when she said she wanted to change.

He didn’t know whether to ignore her and leave her in the zone or walk by and at least acknowledge her presence. Her chin was tilted slightly toward her chest and he could see the earbuds, which meant she was listening to her iPod. His instinct was to not bother her—until he saw the tears. He was halfway across the room before he realized he’d taken a step. Without saying a word, he walked up right beside the treadmill and pulled the earbuds out of her ears.

LilyAnn flinched. Mike! Where had he come from? When he put the earbuds in his ears, she groaned.

Mike wasn’t surprised that it was country, because that was her favorite music genre, but the moment he heard Alan Jackson’s voice and the words to the song, his heart dropped.

Damn
it
to
hell.

He looked up at her, then purposefully ignored the tears and opted for upbeat.

“Hi, honey. Great to see you. However, unless you were planning to go straight to a funeral from here, ‘Where Were You When the World Stopped Turning’ is not exercise music. Be right back.”

She watched him walk away with her iPod. A few moments later he came back, dropped her iPod, without the earbuds, into one of her pockets and put a different iPod in the other pocket and popped her earbuds back in her ears.

He stood there, waiting for her reaction. It was an old country song, but it was one that wouldn’t send her back into mourning the loss of her boyfriend. George Jones singing “White Lightning” always made him laugh, and he and LilyAnn had the same sense of humor. He hoped it would hit her the same way.

One moment she’d been wallowing in a song that had been an anthem to Randy Joe’s war, and now this. She looked up at him and grinned.

He pulled an earbud out of her ear. “My job is done here,” he said, then poked it back in, tweaked her nose, and went to wait on a customer.

Lily upped the treadmill speed to keep up with the rhythm, moving in a much happier frame of mind, and before she knew it, it was time to get back to the pharmacy. She stopped the treadmill and hurried to the counter.

“Thanks for the music,” she said, and slid Mike’s iPod back across the counter. “Gotta hurry or I’ll be late.”

“Good to see you here, honey,” he said softly.

She paused. “It’s a start,” she said, and ran to get her things out of the locker, leaving the key on the counter as she headed for the door.

Rachel Goodhope was coming in as Lily was going out. She saw the beads of sweat on Lily’s upper lip and the pink tinge to her cheeks. When Rachel realized the woman had been working out, the look on her face was nothing short of shocked.

“Well, uh… hello, LilyAnn.”

“Hi, Rachel. ’Scuse me. I’m going to be late.” Lily pushed past her and kept going.

Rachel’s eyes narrowed as she watched the tall blond duck into the pharmacy next door, then shrugged it off and headed toward the counter.

“What’ll it be today?” Mike asked. “Spinning or treadmill?”

Rachel tossed her red hair and gave Mike a brilliant smile.

“Spinning, I think.” She stroked her hand up and down her leg in a suggestive manner. “I need to work on my thighs.”

“Then spinning it is,” Mike said, and handed her a locker key. “There’s a bike open now. I’ll put a towel on the seat so they’ll know it’s taken.”

Rachel wiggled a finger at Mike and smiled. “You’re the best. Be right back,” she said, and headed into the women’s locker room to lock up her purse.

Mike knew she was flirting, and she wasn’t the first woman in town to do it. He ignored her, just like he ignored the others. His heart was taken. Even though they didn’t know it, they were beating a dead horse.

He grabbed a clean towel and laid it on the bike seat, then moved over to the weights to spot a local who was lifting. He knew the guy was a loner and tried hard to fit in, but he seemed at ease in the gym. Here, the guy didn’t have to compete against anyone but himself.

He noticed Rachel come out of the locker room and climb on the bike, then forgot she was there.

Had Rachel known that, she would have been irked. She came here on a regular basis because she’d marked Mike Dalton as a possible candidate for husband number four. The fact that Mike didn’t know it was of no consequence. Rachel operated on the principle of “what Rachel wants, Rachel gets,” and somehow it always fell into place.

***

Lily was busy putting up new stock, mostly oblivious to the customers coming and going. She opened the top on another box of painkillers, checked to make sure the unit price was the same as the shelf price, and then began sliding the bottles into place. She heard footsteps coming down the aisle and absently stepped to the side to let them pass as she continued to work. Instead, the footsteps stopped and then someone tapped her on the shoulder.

“Excuse me, lady. Where can I find Band-Aids and alcohol?”

She turned around and for a split second lost the ability to speak. It was T. J. Lachlan in all his manly glory. Black hair, brown eyes, and a shade of a dimple in his right cheek. Then she caught herself and quickly answered.

“Next aisle over, about midway down,” she said.

He nodded without even meeting her gaze and walked away.

Lily felt his disregard and accepted it, but it didn’t make her sad. In fact, it reinforced her intent. She hurried to finish shelving because it was almost her quitting time. As soon as she was through, she carried the empty boxes outside to the Dumpster, grabbed her things, and waved good-bye to Mitchell as she went out the door.

The air was chilly, but she’d had the foresight to wear a warmer jacket today. When she passed the fitness center, she wouldn’t look at her reflection. This was just day one; no time to start judging progress. As soon as she got to the corner she crossed the street and, instead of heading home, went to the Piggly Wiggly.

Gladys Farmer had been a checkout clerk at the supermarket since LilyAnn was a kid. She couldn’t imagine the place without her. When Lily walked in, Gladys saw her and spoke, just as she did to everyone who came in, even while she was scanning groceries for another customer.

“Evening, LilyAnn.”

“Hi, Gladys,” she said, and headed toward the produce department pushing an empty cart.

She began loading it up with vegetables she liked to eat raw, then vegetables to cook, and finished up with a couple of different kinds of fruit before moving to the meat department. She chose a big bag of frozen chicken pieces and a small ham, which was leaner in fat than red meat, and it was already cooked, which served her purpose, too.

After adding skim milk, high-fiber cereal, and a dozen eggs, she was good to go. She had a moment of regret for buying so much stuff when she remembered she was on foot, but she kept moving toward the front. She wheeled into line at the checkout to wait her turn and hadn’t been there long when someone wheeled up behind her.

“Well, hello, LilyAnn. Long time, no see.”

Lily turned around and stifled a groan. Polly Winston, her high school nemesis.

“Hi, Polly.”

Polly eyed her old schoolmate with a satisfied smirk. LilyAnn might have beaten her out from being crowned Peachy-Keen Queen years ago, but she’d gone to hell in a hand basket afterward. The blond bombshell of Blessings High was overweight and dowdy. God was good.

“How’s your little mama doin’?” Polly asked.

“Just fine. She and Eddie are coming home for Thanksgiving. It’ll be great to see them again.”

Polly smirked. “I guess it was hard to see your mama move away, leaving you behind.”