The Crushes (13 page)

Rule 13:
Do not be bossy! Do not tell your crush what to do!

Rule 19:
Do not allow your crush to pressure you to do something you do not want to do! Do only things that
you
and
only
you want to do and are comfortable with!

Rule 25:
Compliment your crush two times a week!

Sydney poked her head inside the den. “Dad?”

He looked up from whatever he’d been doing at his desk. “Yes?”

Gray stubble covered his chin. He was still in his pajamas—a pair of blue flannel pants and a white T-shirt—and there were bags beneath his eyes.

“You’re not going to work today?” Sydney asked.

“I took a leave of absence.” He pushed his glasses back to the bridge of his nose.

“Well, I have to work today, and then after work, I think we’re all going to the carnival.”

He nodded, picked up a pen. “Have fun, then.”

The clock on the wall behind him ticked each second. It was the only sound in the house, and it’d been like that for days.

There’d been no word from Sydney’s mother. Not a phone call, a voice mail, not even a postcard.

Anger made Sydney clench her jaw. It was like they didn’t even exist. Like her mother flew off to Italy and forgot that she had a husband and a daughter.

Did she not care what her sudden departure had done to her family?

Apparently not.

Which made Sydney even angrier.

“Okay,” she said to the silence. “I’m leaving,” she added, before closing the door and looking out at the empty living room. The bare coffee table. The darkened TV screen. The couch that looked brand-new because it was hardly ever used.

Sydney lived in a movie set.

Or at least that’s what it felt like.

There were things around the living room—books, pictures, a Roman statue—but they looked like props against a fake setting, a place portrayed as a family room but without the family.

Tears bit at her eyes. She clenched her jaw again, took in a steadying breath through her nose.

No crying.

I need to dwell less on my mother and focus more on myself, because that’s what she’d do.

Sydney pulled into the Children’s Hospital parking lot and found a spot. She shut the car off and quickly called Drew while she had a few extra minutes. “Are we doing anything tonight? Like maybe going to the carnival?”

“Did you want to?” he asked.

Sydney rolled her eyes. Drew had been acting weird the last few days. She supposed it had a lot to do with her attitude. She hadn’t exactly been in a good mood since her mother left. There’d only been two things that’d put a smile on her face. Work at the hospital and photography.

She brushed clear lip gloss over her lips and smacked them together.

Don’t be bossy,
a voice in her head warned, the voice that was in charge of remembering the rules from the Crush Code.

“I’d like to go to the carnival,” she said softly, “but if you have something else in mind, that’s fine, too.”

“It might be fun. I hear they have a new ride this year. It’s called the Zipper.”

Sydney had heard about that ride. They locked you inside a cage shaped like a teardrop and then the “zipper” ran the cage around and around at hysteria-inducing speeds.

That kind of ride was not Sydney’s kind of ride. She much preferred something that stayed closer to the ground.

Don’t be bossy,
that stupid voice said again.

When they got to the carnival, she’d nicely tell Drew they weren’t going on any crazy rides like the Zipper.

“Let’s plan to go after I get out of work,” she said, getting out of the SUV and locking it up. “I’ll come over to your house about seven?”

“Sounds good. Love you,” Drew said.

“Love you, too.”

The Birch Falls Carnival came into town every year in mid-July. When Sydney was a kid, her parents would bring her, send her on the little kiddie rides while her mother stood back, her camera in hand, snapping pictures of a laughing Sydney. Those pictures were stuffed in a tote somewhere in the attic, forgotten like the rest of her mother’s life, apparently.

“How was work today?” Drew asked, offering the woman at the ticket counter a twenty-dollar bill.

Sydney looked around the carnival, a massive affair set up in the middle of a field on the north side of town. Red and yellow and green lights shone brightly against the darkening sky. A smooth, excited voice sounded through a speaker system, “Welcome to the twenty-sixth annual Birch Falls Carnival. Carnival bracelets can be purchased at every entrance at the ticket booths.” The message went on, announcing a chain-saw-carving exhibit near the west entrance and a magic show later that night. A group of young girls ran past Sydney, headed for the roller coaster ride shaped like an alligator.

“Work was fine,” Sydney answered absently, scanning the faces for someone familiar. Her friends were supposed to be meeting her here. Raven said to meet by this entrance, but Sydney didn’t see her, or anyone for that matter.

“Sydney?” Drew called. “You have to get your bracelet.”

Sydney went to the ticket booth and stuck her arm inside the little opening at the bottom of the Plexiglas window. The large woman on the other side wound a pink plastic bracelet around Sydney’s wrist and tightened it into place, snipping off the excess with a pair of scissors.

“Enjoy the carnival,” the woman said.

“Thanks.” Sydney twirled the bracelet around. “What color did you get?”

Drew held up his, frowning. “Same color.”

Sydney laughed. “It looks good on you.”

The frown disappeared and Drew smiled. “Thanks.” He put his arm around Sydney’s shoulders and pulled her into him. “I haven’t heard you laugh in a while. I missed it.”

Sydney shrugged. “It’s just been…rough, you know, at home. My dad seems barely able to function and…” She trailed off. She wanted to be able to vent to Drew, but she just didn’t have the energy. She’d rather push it to the back of her mind and not deal with it. At least not now. “Let’s just try to have fun tonight, okay?”

“Sure. I can’t wait to try the Zipper.”

Sydney cringed. “About that—I don’t think I’m getting on.”

Drew groaned. “Oh, come on. You have to try.”

“I don’t know.”

They walked a while, silent, passing several kiddie rides and games.

“Sydney!”

Sydney looked over toward a game booth dominated by teddy bears the size of a St. Bernard. Raven, Alexia, and Kelly waved. Horace grabbed a teddy bear from the man behind the booth front. Ben congratulated Horace on his
“exceptional squirt gun skills” while Todd laughed at the very small difference in size between Horace and his new toy.

The group converged in the center of the midway.

“That shirt looks cute on you,” Kelly said, nodding at Sydney’s new shirt. It was the white one with the red hearts down the front. She’d worn it to work with a pair of black pants, but changed at the end of the day into a distressed jean miniskirt and threw on a black beaded necklace, too.

“Thanks,” Sydney said. “It’s comfy.”

Kelly smiled, but it came off awkward for some reason. She shifted, the smile fading when she glanced next at Drew. He shuffled his weight around and looked at the ground.

Sydney wasn’t allowed a moment to dwell on their weird behavior because Drew grabbed her by the arm and dragged her away. “Let’s do the Zipper first.” He nodded in the ride’s direction.

It was the tallest ride at the carnival. The teardrop cages whipped around the ride, some cages spinning uncontrollably. Screams sounded from the top, carrying all the way down the midway to Sydney. She wasn’t going anywhere near that ride.

“Whoever screams first is a sissy,” Ben said.

“Ohh,” Kelly said. “I’ve been wanting to ride that one.”

“If you cry, I’ll never let you forget it,” Todd said.

“I’m not going to cry!” Kelly gave him a shove. “Besides, who was the one crying at the end of
Brother Bear
?”

“I was seven years old!” he said.

“You were thirteen!”

“Stop fighting, you two,” Drew said, stepping between Kelly and Todd. “Come on, let’s go get on the Zipper.” Drew motioned for Kelly to follow him, but Kelly shook her head and fell back by Raven, who was avoiding everyone but Horace.

Sydney sensed tension in the group, but she couldn’t quite figure out where it was coming from. Alexia and Raven maybe? They hadn’t said one word to each other since Sydney arrived. There was something odd going on with Kelly, too.

“Hey, Syd?” Drew said. “Are you coming?”

“I told you I didn’t want to,” she answered quietly, hoping no one made fun of her for being a “chicken.” Todd would make fun of her because he was an idiot.

“I’ll be with you,” Drew said. “It’s not that bad. I swear.”

How would he know? The ride was new this year. He’d never ridden it before. The group had pulled ahead of Sydney and Drew, making their way to the Zipper.

“Just try this one ride for me,” Drew said, “and then we’ll do whatever you want.”

Sydney looked over at the Zipper again, at the cages whipping around. Her heart hammered in her chest just thinking about climbing on there, but she wanted to please Drew. She wanted to show him that she was open to new things.

“All right,” she said. “Just one ride.”

The door on the cage slammed shut. The ride operator pulled down the latch, locking Sydney and Drew inside.
Sydney pulled in a deep breath, sweat beading on the nape of her neck and below her nose.

Oh god, she wanted out so bad. She wanted to plant her feet on the ground and stay there.

Their cage moved up one level so Raven and Horace could pile in the next cage. It went on like that for another five minutes or so as the ride operator filled the rest of the cages with new riders. Sydney and Drew’s cage inched up to the sky. When they reached the highest point of the ride, Sydney clutched the handle on the door, squeezing her eyes shut.

“I wish you hadn’t talked me into this,” she muttered, swallowing hard against the lump in her throat.

“You’ll be fine.” Drew put his arm around her shoulders and squeezed. “Oh, here it goes.”

Their cage moved and kept moving. Through the metal door, Sydney saw the ground rush up to them and then disappear, replaced with the sky as the “zipper” ran around and around. The faster the ride went, the more unstable Sydney and Drew’s cage became. It rocked back and forth, so that at one point Sydney was parallel with the ground and then a second later completely upside down.

Her stomach rolled, her heart quickening.

“I think I’m going to be sick!” she screamed as Drew screeched with delight.

Sydney wiped her mouth with a wet paper towel. She flushed the toilet, her lunch swirling down the drain with the disappearing water.

“You okay?” Alexia asked, pulling Sydney’s hair back.

“I think so.” Sydney stood up. Her head was still woozy, the world rocking back and forth like it had on the ride. She shuffled out of the bathroom with Alexia, Raven, and Kelly behind her. Drew rushed up, offering a bottle of water.

“I’m so sorry, Syd,” he said. “I really didn’t think it’d affect you that badly.”

“I told you I don’t like those kinds of rides,” she said, taking the water and drinking quickly, hoping to get the vomit taste out of her mouth.

“I know. Again, I’m sorry. Really.” Drew pulled her into a hug and kissed her atop the head. “I love you. Do you still love me?” he asked, laughing lightly.

Sydney sighed. “Yes, of course I love you.”

She just wished he’d listen to her more. And it wouldn’t be so bad if they both liked the same stupid carnival rides.

Rule 11:
Act distant but interested! Guys love a challenge!

Raven typed in the Web address Horace had given her earlier at Scrappe and hit ENTER. She sipped from the hot chai Horace had made her while she waited for the screen to load.

The audio played before the graphics popped up on the hot-pink background. Kay-J’s soft, syrupy sweet voice accompanied quick pop beats. A second later, a picture of her loaded, her wide, ultra-white smile matching her white tunic tank top.

Raven read the front-page text.

Hey! It’s Kay-J! Thanks for stopping by. If you’re here on the site, I assume you’ve heard about the new show I’m doing called
Back Up Kay-J
. We’re looking for one backup singer to accompany me on next summer’s tour.

Not only will the lucky winner get to travel the world, but she/he will also record one song for my new album,
Rockin’ the Pink.

I’m excited to meet everyone and hear your voices!

Check out the auditions page for details!

XOXO

Kay-J

Raven turned down the volume on the computer to quiet the up-tempo beats.

So, okay, Kay-J was pretty good, and her music had that weird, infectious vibe to it that made even the laziest people get up and dance.

But that wasn’t Raven’s kind of music. Couldn’t Horace understand that?

Sighing, she clicked on the A
UDITIONS
link and brought up a new page.

She scanned the dates and locations. There was an audition next week in California. Way too far away. One week later, auditions were in New York. That was like a two-hour drive from Birch Falls. That was manageable.

If Raven even decided she wanted to try out, that is.

In the meantime, just in case she did go to the city and audition, Raven figured she’d better know the songs she would be asked to sing. She downloaded a few Kay-J tracks to her iPod and went for a walk.

As she headed down her driveway, sunglasses in place, she scanned Blake’s house, looking for any sign of life. She hadn’t seen him in the five days since she’d had the argument with Alexia out in front of his house.

The front windows of his house were dark now. The large upstairs window—the one Raven guessed had to be Blake’s room—was covered with dark curtains.

Had he jetted off to somewhere else? What if he didn’t come back?

Who cares? she thought. Not me.

She turned up the volume on her iPod when a few kids down the block screamed as they ran through a sprinkler.

Raven tried to focus on the music.

Kay-J’s music was undeniably pop commercial. There wasn’t a lot of depth to her lyrics. Probably she didn’t even write them herself. The first track Raven listened to was about a breakup that Kay-J blamed herself for.

The second track, with a speedier tempo, was about a beach party, if Raven was hearing the lyrics right.

She listened to the second track over and over again, memorizing the lyrics. The chorus was quick and catchy and Raven was singing it quietly by the third listen.

As she ambled down the sidewalk, a large, black SUV rolled to a stop at the curb. The passenger-side window came down and Raven glanced inside.

It was Blake.

She sucked in a breath. The corners of her mouth curved into a relieved smile. He was still around. He wasn’t leaving Birch Falls for some big city.

Pausing the iPod, Raven popped the earbuds from her ears and walked over to the SUV.

“Hey,” she said, trying to act uninterested. “You’re home.”

“I got in two days ago but…” He rubbed his puffy bottom lip with his index finger. “Well, let’s just say I was under the weather.”

Raven arched a brow. “Party too hard?”

“Something like that.”

Had he been out there hooking up with random girls? Jealousy wedged in her gut, and she scrambled for the Crush Code instinctively.

The only rule she could remember said to act distant but interested.

Who came up with that rule anyway?

How could you be distant but interested? Seriously.

Probably it was best for her just to act distant.

Especially after Alexia accused her of cheating on Horace with Blake. Keeping her distance would prove to Alexia that Raven was faithful, and then Raven could rub it in her face.

Raven pushed away from the SUV’s gleaming black body and blacked-out wheels. “Well, I’m sorta busy, so I’ll catch you later?”

He cleared his throat, pulled down his hat an inch. “Yeah. Okay.”

“Bye.” She waggled her fingers and smiled triumphantly.

Uh-oh, she thought as Blake grinned and waved back. I just acted distant but then threw him an interested departing gesture.

Great.