The Crush (15 page)

A silver sheen of spring drizzle stuck to the black bitumen of Marion Street. A schizophrenic pedestrian light
bop, bop, bop
ped, then hammered madly for a couple of seconds before
bop, bop, bop
ping again. Soaked and miserable, a yellow dog ran alongside the nearby tavern and shook itself once under shelter. An ambulance slowly slushed past, its driver holding the wheel with one hand and scoffing a sausage roll with the other.

Dressed in trackpants and a flannelette shirt, Matt stared outside as he sat perched on his windowsill. The alarm clock read 2:33am. He hadn't moved for three hours.

Every match, every training session, every win, every loss, every try, every tackle and every busted
knee he'd lived through had been for nothing. His goal of playing for a Sydney club, New South Wales, or his country was gone. He'd never enjoy playing or watching a game of footy again. He wouldn't be able to pick up a ball. The pain would be too agonising. One prank had destroyed ten years of hard work and passion. One evil prank.

Broken, Matt feared what his dad would think.

Brrring! Brrring!
The phone rang in the hallway.

What now? Barefooted, he walked into the living room. Normally his mum would answer it but she was visiting Nan. She'd probably crashed for the night.

‘Yeah, what?' he answered, annoyed.

Silence.

‘Hello?'

Dead air.

‘If this is another prank call—'

‘Matthew?'

He barely heard his name.

‘Yes, that's me.'

‘Matthew … Cassidy?'

‘Kelly?'

Weeping.

‘Kelly? Is that you?'

A sniffle.

‘What's happened?'

‘It's Aaron.'

‘What's he done?'

No answer.

‘Where are you, Kelly?
Kelly
?'

‘At Bankstown Station. I'm lost. I need to see you.'

‘Don't move. I'll be there in a sec.'

He bolted across the plaza, the wet pavers slippery beneath his bare feet. Rain sprayed into his eyes and face but he kept running at full speed.

Hugging herself, Kelly was standing next to a payphone. She was staring wildly round her as if she was afraid of every noise and shadow. Her clothes and hair were wet. She must have been walking in the rain for hours.

Matt zeroed in on her just as she spotted him. Happy to see him, she rushed towards him and bearhugged him. Her whole body shook as she burrowed her face into his neck and sobbed uncontrollably. The tenderness of her breasts, belly and hips pressed against him, while streaks of her damp hair stuck to his cheeks and lips.

‘What has he done to you!'

Matt tried prying himself free but Kelly quickly pulled him back. ‘No, please. Don't look.' But he already had. Her cheeks and ears were puffy, red and
bruised. Both lips were split, swollen and plugged with blood. Her left nostril was crystallised with more crimson and her neck was burned with fingerprints where Blackwell had clearly tried to choke her. Her top was torn, exposing her left shoulder, which was heavily bruised. The knees and lower half of her jeans were covered in mud. Matt felt the same anger Chris had the night of his own attack.

She sobbed some more and Matt gently smothered her with his care. ‘Shhh,' he said. ‘Shhh.'

Thankfully, his mum was still away when they returned to his unit. Closing the door behind them, Matt heard the rain fall heavily again as he led Kelly to the living room. He flicked on a small lamp and gently eased her onto the lounge. Dragging over an electric heater, he hoped that would help Kelly dry out a bit.

‘Please don't go.' She clawed at him as he left for his bedroom.

‘I'll be back. I'll try to find you some dry clothes.'

Hurrying to his room, he raided his drawers. The only clean thing he found was a Bulldogs jersey. It would have to do for the moment. He rushed back out, grabbed a fresh towel from the bathroom then handed them to Kelly.

‘I'm sorry. The rest of my clothes are dirty or in the wash. And I don't have any girls' stuff.'

‘I'd be worried if you did,' she answered, trying to smile.

‘I'll check Mum's room for more clothes in a sec. You can use my bedroom to change if you like.'

A saucepan of milk was warming on the stove when Kelly emerged from his room wearing his jersey. Clicking the door behind her, she scrubbed her hair dry then sat in front of the heater. Man, her legs were magnificent. They were tanned, smooth and disappeared under his jersey, which was clearly too big. What kind of sadist would hurt such a beautiful girl like that?

He placed a mug of hot milk in front of her, hoping she'd like it. His mum always made him one when he was upset.

‘Are you warm enough? I can get you a blanket—'

‘I'll be fine,' she said, picking up the mug with trembling fingers. She wasn't, though. She couldn't sip the milk through her busted lips.

‘You really should see a doctor.'

‘No. No doctors.'

‘The police then?'

‘Please, don't call them either. Everything will be okay.'

‘Do your parents know?'

She shook her head. ‘I haven't gone home yet.'

‘Maybe you should.'

‘No. I don't want them to see me like this.'

‘They'll see you eventually.'

‘Yeah, but in the meantime I can …'

‘Make up a cover story?'

‘Cover story? What do you mean?'

‘This isn't the first time Aaron's hurt you, is it?'

‘I don't know what you're talking about. Aaron hasn't hurt me.'

‘There you go again. You're already slipping into denial.'

‘No I'm not.'

‘Your arm a couple of weeks ago. You know, when it was in a sling? That was no accident at work or door slamming against it, was it? Aaron did that to you as well, didn't he?'

‘No.'

‘And now he's done it again.'

‘No, he hasn't!'

Kelly started crying some more. Matt realised he'd pushed her too quickly and he immediately regretted it. He sat down and tried putting an arm around her, but she flinched at his touch. Retracting from her, he let her weep alone.

‘What did he do to you, Kel?' he asked eventually, his heart growing heavier.

She sobbed several more times before grabbing some tissues from the coffee table. ‘He got angry because I wanted to watch the rest of the game.'

‘And he did this to you! Kel, you've got to get away from this guy.'

‘How?'

‘Ditch him.'

‘I can't.'

‘Why?'

‘I love him.'

‘Do you?'

‘Yes.'

‘Do you really?'

She wiped away another tear. ‘He loves me. He always says he does.'

‘Look at you. Is this how he shows his love?'

That started more tears. Except this time, Kelly sought solace against his chest. Matt warmly gave it and gently stroked her back and arm to calm her. He'd only seen a girl this upset once before. And that had scared him as much as this.

‘When's the pain going to stop?' she sobbed.

‘Only when you do something about Aaron.'

‘But I'm afraid.'

‘I know. But you can't let him keep on hurting you like this. If you don't end it soon, who knows what he'll do to you.'

‘Why does he keep treating me like this?'

‘Because he's heartless,' Matt said. ‘Because he can't appreciate what a special kind of girlfriend he's got.'

‘No, it's me. I'm sure of it. He says I keep on nagging him and that I'm always moody around him.'

‘I've known you for a couple of weeks now and you're nothing like that.'

‘But it would be different if you dated me. You'd probably realise too what a cow I can be.'

‘Kel, if I dated you, I'd wake up every morning thinking how lucky I was.'

She stopped and looked at him quizzically. He felt his heart race again, scared at his frankness. He'd been too bold. He hoped not. He didn't want to frighten Kelly away.

‘You're not a cow,' he added. ‘You're one of the friendliest people I know. If he can't see that, then that's his loss. Not yours.'

‘Maybe I should give him another chance. We've been going out for three years now. He deserves that much.'

‘How many more chances does he need? He
keeps on hurting you and you keep on rushing back to him.'

‘Because I want our relationship to work.'

‘But it's not working, is it? It died a long time ago and you're pretending it's still alive.'

‘It was so good when we were first going out.'

‘And now?'

The question caught her out. Instead of Matt giving her all the answers, it was her turn. She brooded over the past three years of her life and found it wanting. She'd longed for the full fairytale: a Prince Charming who loved her more than life, made her happy, came running when she needed help and would never let her down. But it hadn't come true.

‘Admit it. You've been miserable for months, possibly years.'

She nodded, fighting back tears.

‘You don't have to keep on living this way, Kel. It's your life. Don't waste it with this creep.'

She withdrew into herself again, trying to avoid the hurt. She sat in front of the heater, pulled the footy jersey over her knees and hid her face. ‘It sounds easy, but it's not. I just wish you could understand what I'm going through.'

‘I do.'

‘No you don't.'

‘
Yes I do
.'

Matt pulled back his sleeves then held his wrists together. ‘Notice the difference?'

Kelly stared at their different shapes. His right wrist had a funny bend. ‘That one looks like it's been broken.'

Biting his lip, he nodded. ‘It happened when I was eleven. My mother started dating a butcher named Noel. He used to give us free meat every time we visited his shop. Mum guessed that he liked her and sure enough, one afternoon Noel got the courage to ask her out to the movies. Mum was rapt. She'd only seen one or two guys since I was born and they were complete losers. But she knew Noel pretty well and thought she'd make a real go of it.

‘The first date ended well and Noel asked her out again. Mum agreed and before long they were a couple. Mum was the happiest I've ever seen her. And it felt good having a man in the house for once. Noel would talk to me about football and school and beef prices, even though he didn't have to. It must be hard dating someone, knowing they've already had a kid. But we got along okay and I started to understand what it felt like to have a dad.'

He reflected on this for a moment. But instead of smiling, he shook his head. ‘Three months later,
things turned bad. Mum and Noel started fighting. It was just name-calling at first, but then it got nasty. I was woken one night by the sounds of a smashed plate. Mum went off at Noel and he shouted back, saying if she'd washed it and put it away, he wouldn't have broken it. The yelling got worse until I couldn't stand it any more. I walked into the kitchen in my pyjamas just in time to see Noel hit mum.

‘We all stared at each other, not knowing what to do. Finally, Noel screamed at me to go to my room. Being only eleven, I did what I was told. I spent the rest of the night curled up against my bedroom door listening to him … well, you can imagine what happened next.

‘I thought that would be the end of Noel but it wasn't. He came back the next morning with two dozen roses. At first Mum screamed at him to leave, but he calmed her down, promising not to do it again and to make up for it by taking her out to a restaurant. Once her bruises healed, we all went out for that dinner. It was so strange. They were pretending like nothing had happened. All I wanted to do was reach over the table and knock him out.

‘They were fine for about a week before it started all over again. He couldn't find his car keys and accused Mum of stealing them. He beat her up again
then left. I found her alone, locked in her room and crying. I begged her to come out but she was too afraid. I remember writing her a letter saying I loved her and posting it under her door.

‘The beatings continued for another few weeks. The neighbours called the cops a couple of times but Mum wouldn't press charges. She was too afraid of Noel and his friends. He abused her in other ways too. He wouldn't let her have any money. He would call her a whore. And he'd blame her for everything that went wrong, from the weather to customers who were rude to him.'

Matt stopped again. He'd buried this long ago. But it still hurt.

Drawing in a breath, he looked at the ceiling then continued. ‘One night it all ended. Noel returned drunk from a bowling competition. He'd won and wanted to celebrate by taking Mum to the pub for a few more beers. She didn't want to go, because she was sick with the flu. Angry, Noel demanded that she go or else. Mum said no and he laid into her again.

‘He was just about finished when I returned from footy practice. After seeing Mum on the floor, I lost it. I jumped on him and hit him as hard as I could. But he was a big man and I was only eleven. He hit back and threw me against the kitchen table. The
impact snapped my wrist so hard, the bone went through the skin. That didn't stop him, though. He threw me onto the street and kicked me until the cops arrived and arrested him.

‘The ambulance took Mum and me to the hospital. She stayed there for two weeks, drifting in and out of a coma. I got away with a plaster cast. I was so scared she was going to die. I remember sitting in the waiting room, praying over and over that she'd be all right.

‘Eventually, Mum recovered, but emotionally she's never been the same. She doesn't trust men and she's more protective of me than ever. For me, I've never started another fight. I hate them. I'm frightened of them. I know how bad they can be when they get out of control.'