The Cries of the Butterfly - A LOVE STORY (85 page)

…
a winner who did what his esteemed big brother didn’t have the balls to do: stand unshakably by the woman he loved…and stand up unflinchingly against the mighty Art Butcher.

Oh, but at what cost, Wolf, at what terrible cost!

She realized he was trying to say something to her and she leaned forward.

“Yes, Wolf?”

“Aren’t you feeling well?” he said with some concern.

“Oh, I’m just fine. Why do you ask?”

“You were clutching your belly.”

She blushed. “No…it’s nothing…” she stuttered, looking away, unable to hold his gaze.
Even in this state he is so sharp,
she thought.

He smiled sneakily. “Something
is
the matter,” he said, looking at her pointedly. “You know, you are putting on weight. Especially around the midsection.”

Rochelle’s jaw stiffened.

“You know what I think, Roch?” Wolf added, a little impish light coming to his eyes. “I think maybe you are pregnant.”

She flushed so violently, the veins sizzled on her brow.

“Maybe you
really
are!”

She glared at him with sudden fury. “Don’t talk like an idiot! It doesn’t behoove you.”

The smile snuffed out of his face. “I’m sorry, I was only joking.”

She immediately placed a hand to his face. “No,
I’m
sorry. I didn’t mean to…”
Oh, Lord!

“But one day you’ll meet a fine man and you
will
become a mom. And a great mom you’ll make too. And then the world will realize the truth about you.”

Rochelle swallowed and looked down. She didn’t trust herself anymore. She wished she could flee the room. Her chest was bursting and she realized she had been holding her breath.

“Look at me, Roch.”

She couldn’t.

“Please!” he pleaded.

So somehow she did. She looked up. But she couldn’t see him any longer. She shut her eyes and the tears squeezed down from under her eyelids.

.

“
Y
ou
were paying Keith McKenzie, weren’t you? And you made it look like pro bono,” Savannah accused. “And you went through Maddy…the two of you collaborated on this, didn’t you?”

“Never mind,” he said tiredly, his breath rasping. He paused for a minute to recover. “You know, I’m trying to stop using the
F
and
C
words that you despise so much. I’m trying very hard. But it’s as difficult as a smoker giving up fag. Yet one day, I’ll succeed, I promise you,” he said earnestly.

She nodded vigorously. “I know you will, Wolf. I’m so proud of you.”

“There’s one more thing.”

“Yes,” she said limply.

“Robin needs her prosthetic arm now. It keeps getting postponed.”

“I’ll do it immediately, I promise. In fact, we’ll do it as soon as you return home.”

“You have to do something for Lianne too. You can’t ditch her. She’s been your friend for…”

“I would
never
ditch her, Wolf!”

“Yes, I know, I’m sorry.”

He paused for a second. “Can you do one more thing for me?”

“Anything, Wolf.”

“Do you remember Mongrel?”

“Who?”

“Mongrel…my friend from the Home’s back street.”

“Oh! … Sure.”

“In all that happened, I couldn’t attend to him. But I want him taken care of now. I don’t want him roaming around scavenging for food…going hungry. Bring him home…Butcher Garden is a big place. Bruno and Mongrel can be best friends. And Robin will have one more friend in the house.”

Savannah nodded her head. “Sure, Wolf, I’ll do it. I hope I find him.”

“You will. He’ll be there somewhere. It won’t be difficult.”

“Okay.”

“You promise?”

“Yes, Wolf, relax. I promise.”

“Thank you so much.” He looked at her fondly. “You know what I’ll miss the most?”

She bit her lip.
No, I don’t want to hear any of that nonsense.

“Not getting to make love to you. We should have got at least one opportunity, don’t you think? After all, you were the only woman I ever loved.”

Her mind stood paralyzed for a moment. Then her heart panged violently. She gritted her teeth, desperately biting back the onslaught from within,

“Well, at least do me one favor,” he said. “Show me your butterfly tattoo. I never got to see it.”

So she did. She lifted her skirt, pulled down her underwear, and turned around.

“It’s gorgeous…just like you are, Savannah,” he said. “I want to touch it. Help me touch it.”

So she waited. But he didn’t move and then she remembered that he couldn’t. She cautiously picked up his limp hand, and she ran it over her buttock—over the butterfly with the dazzling colors.

“Thank you,” he said, his face full of satisfaction. “You are such a beautiful woman, Savannah…so beautiful.”

Oh, Mary, I can’t take this anymore!
She felt as if she was going to lose her mind any instant.
But I can’t lose my mind, I can’t…for his sake I just freaking can’t.
That was not how she wanted him to see her for the last, if she could help it. She prayed she would somehow hold up.

He had fallen silent now. His eyes were half-shut and he was toiling for breath. She so badly wanted to take him in her arms and hold him tight to her…and never let go. But with all the medical stuff around it was difficult. Besides, she was afraid to touch him with any strength, lest he just crumble.

“Savannah?” His voice was a frail whisper. “Will you please get Robin now?”

“Yes,” she mumbled and got to her feet.

.

Savannah was back in ten seconds.

Wolf’s face lighted up, like a thousand full moons in the night.

“There’s my baby,” he beamed, his eyes reaching out to her like welcoming arms.

Robin just stood there at the foot of the bed and stared, as if she couldn’t believe the sight before her. Then her eyes became stricken and she turned to Savannah as if seeking succor. This was the first time since the accident that she had been allowed to see Wolf.

“Come here, my sweetest love,” Wolf whispered.

Savannah led Robin to him and made her sit on the bed to his right.

“So how is my little Butterfly?” he said.

Robin didn’t say anything. She had no words. Her lips were pressed tightly together. Savannah spoke on her behalf.

“Your little Butterfly is just fine. And she is waiting for Daddy to come home.”

A deep sorrow came to Wolf’s eyes. But only for an instant, then it was gone. He smiled again.

“Will you do something for me?” he said.

Robin nodded.

“Will you please touch me?”

Robin thrust out her left hand, making a grab at his arm.

“Careful!” Savannah cautioned.

“No, not there…touch my face.”

Robin dragged herself up on the bed and touched him lightly on the forehead.

“No, not there…touch my cheek,” he said.

So she did.

“Thank you, my love.” His face relaxed. “Will you promise me something?”

Her head bobbed up and down.
Yes, anything, Daddy.

“Promise me you’ll look after Mom?”

Yes, I will! I promise you, Daddy. But first you please come back home. Please, Daddy, please, I need you!

“And that you’ll be a good girl always and never make Mom sad?”

Whatever you say, Daddy. I promise! But please come back home first, Daddy, I beg you!

“That’s my girl,” he said. “You are my darling baby, aren’t you?”

She pressed her lips tighter still. No words did she have.

“And you know that Daddy loves you, don’t you? Daddy loves you tooooo much.”

Now her eyes began filling up.

But, no, she wouldn’t cry. She was a strong girl…Daddy’s strong girl. She wanted Daddy to be proud of her, so she wouldn’t cry. She would remain strong. She had promised Daddy that a long time ago—she wouldn’t break her promise now. More than anything, though, she wanted to be Daddy’s hero. She swiftly swiped her eyes on her sleeve, hoping Daddy wouldn’t notice, then she sat straight. The stench of the hospital—the odor of the strange chemicals, the subterranean smell of illness and death, was so overpowering it made her feel sick. She wanted to run away, far away…but she didn’t want to leave Daddy. Her head hurt.

.

“Savannah, will you please come to this side,” Wolf said indicating his left.

She nodded and quickly circled the bed. She sat next to him.

“Will you kiss me, please?” he said.

She hesitated, unsure, what with all the equipment and the rest.

He indicated his lips with a pout.

She leaned down carefully and kissed him. And then kissed him again. And held him now and kissed him, her heart beginning to weep.

“Robin, you too, please,” he murmured.

He could clearly smell them—their distinctive odor flowed up his nostrils and imprinted on his brain indelibly. He would take it with him wherever it was he was going. And he could feel their fond lips on his skin. And a sudden loving warmth enveloped him, pushing aside all the pain that was inside him. He basked in it, luxuriated in it, let it flow into his veins and spread to every cell, until it pervaded his entire being. And his lips stretched as a carpet of peace and contentment settled over his soul. He felt so light now he wanted to dance. There were no more misgivings, no more gripes. He had been given this opportunity to see them all again one final time…that was all he had so desperately yearned for.

He could sense them still, his two Butterflies, on either side of him. He felt supreme happiness fill his heart. Then his eyes began to wilt, and he felt himself sliding into a strange darkness. But he wasn’t afraid anymore. They were there with him, his beloved women, what was there to be scared of?

.

Savannah saw his eyes shut. She held him tighter. She watched his breathing—it had fallen into an even pattern now.

Suddenly his eyes opened again. His lips quivered and Savannah brought her face close to his mouth, almost touching his lips. She barely heard the words.

“I love you. I love you both…so very dearly,” he uttered. He gave a soft smile of indescribable tenderness. From the outer edges of his eyes tears of affection rolled down. One more breath…and then no more. There was no struggle, no shudder, no other sign of death—only that the next breath never came.

.

For a long moment there was a stunned silence. A bewildered silence. A numb stillness. Robin’s gaze was fixed on Daddy’s face. Her heart was ravaged with unspeakable grief. But,
I have to be strong for Daddy…I cannot go weak. I want Daddy to be proud of me. I want to be Daddy’s hero.
However, did it matter anymore?
But I promised Daddy I’ll always remain strong. I cannot break my promise. What will Daddy think?
What if he suddenly wakes up and catches me? I don’t want Daddy to think I’m a cheater who breaks her promises behind his back.
Her soul was in a terrible turmoil. Oh, how badly she wanted to howl out. Hopelessly torn, unable to bear the struggle, she looked at Mom desperately, for some guidance, for deliverance.

Savannah’s eyes were locked on Wolf’s face. Then a huge something rose from her deepest core. For a while it stood still in her chest, trapped, locked in…as usual.

And then for the first time ever, it broke out, and Savannah exploded in a wild burst of grief. The cries of the Butterfly finally found expression and it shook the room.

And seeing her mother, Robin at last found release and now held back no more.

In truth, the story of Wolf Butcher is no more ended here than the story of Christ was ended on the cross.