The Craving (Rogues of Scotland #1) (4 page)

“I wasna a man to take a woman’s innocence,” Ronan stated when he saw the condemnation on Meg’s face. “Ana wasna an innocent. I didna force her either.”

“Nay, I don’t imagine you had to. I’m sure she was as enamored with your good looks as you were with her.”

Ronan shrugged. “Regardless, we found pleasure in each other’s arms. I would come to her at night, and leave before the dawn. I assumed our relationship was one of mutual pleasure and nothing more.”

“But she wanted more,” Meg guessed.

“That she did.” Ronan set his hands on his legs and sighed. “On that last night, I brought my friends with me to partake in what the gypsies freely offered. It had never entered my mind that Ana would assume I wanted her as my wife.”

Meg’s face scrunched up, something haunted and broken flashing in her gray eyes. “You broke her heart.”

Ronan stood and walked around the room amidst the furniture. “I told her there would be no marriage between us. When that didna stop her words, I thought a small lie would. I told her I was already promised to another. She ran crying from the wagon.”

“I take it the gypsies weren’t happy?”

“I doona think I’ll ever know. I was getting ready to leave the camp when I heard a scream. I jumped out of the wagon ready to defend the gypsies when I saw Ana. She had taken her own life. Because I wouldna marry her.”

Meg wiped at a strand of hair tickling her cheek. “The gypsies cursed you, didn’t they?”

“The old woman did. I think she might have been Ana’s grandmother. She sent me into the black void. I didna realize it was a mirror until the second time I was released.”

“Are you cursed to remain in the mirror forever?”

Ronan turned and faced her. “The old woman said I would be in there until I earned my freedom.”

“What does that mean?” Meg asked as she leaned forward.

“It means, sweet Meg, that if you doona send me back, I’ll be free.”

Her back straightened. “Oh. Is that all? Fine. I won’t send you back.”

Ronan nearly shouted with joy. It hadn’t taken nearly as much effort on his part to convince Meg as he thought it might. He’d felt the sun, had a delicious meal, and no longer had the mirror to worry about.

Best of all, he had engaged in conversation with a most enticingly beautiful woman. And he found himself hungry for something else.

“Why are you here, Meg?”

Suddenly twitchy, she rose to her feet and shrugged. “I needed a place to think. Aunt Tilly offered Ravensclyde, and I accepted the invitation. Now, back to you. What are you going to do?”

“Do?” Ronan hadn’t thought about that. His attention had been focused on getting free, not what would happen once he did. He expected it to take days - weeks even - to convince Meg to release him.

It had gone frighteningly easy. That sent a niggle of worry down his spine. Nothing that came easy was good. 

Ronan pushed that concern to the side for a moment. With Stefan, Daman, and Morcant dead, there was no one for him to find. And nowhere for him to go.

He was homeless, penniless, and friendless. A hell of a problem to find himself in. Then he looked at Meg again, an idea taking root. “Do you need help around the castle?”

Her mouth twisted as she shook her head. “Not really.” She paused as if considering his words. “Then again, you don’t know anyone or the times. I’m not sure I should just let you go out on your own.”

“I’ll be fine, I assure you.”

“Things are different than when you knew them.”

Ronan smiled. “So you believe my tale, sweet Meg.”

“I’m not saying that,” she replied saucily. “But I’m leaning in that direction. Too much doesn’t add up. Your tartan is an old weave for one.”

He closed the distance between them and smiled when he realized he had her backed against the chair with nowhere to run. “Where is your man, sweet Meg?”

Her gaze darted away before coming back to his. He made her nervous, and by the rapid pulse beat at the base of her neck and the way her eyes darkened when she looked at him, her body had a reaction to him.

“I don’t have a man,” she said in a husky whisper.

Ronan’s gaze dropped to her lips. They would taste as sweet as wine. “Their loss.”

Meg slipped to the side and backed away from Ronan. He was more than temptation. He was sin, begging her to sample what he offered. 

And did she ever want a taste of it.

“If you’re in need of a woman, I’m sure you’ll find plenty willing to accommodate you throughout the castle.”

Ronan’s smile was predatory, as if he knew she wanted to give in to the desires heating her body. If he only knew just how much she yearned to do just that.

“How will you explain my appearance?” he asked.

Meg grimaced. “I don’t know yet. You can’t just come down with me.”

“Why no’?”

Why not, indeed? She was in charge of the castle for the moment. Already a story was forming about Ronan, clarifying his position as someone who just arrived seeking work. It wasn’t a lie. She just wouldn’t tell anyone he came from a mirror. 

“You can remain for as long as you need. During that time, you may help around the castle. Follow me, and I’ll introduce you to everyone.”

She turned on her heel and walked out of the room to the stairs. Ronan was one step behind her. His presence was comforting, even as he put her on edge.

~ ~ ~

Days turned into weeks, and during that time Ronan thought of Meg, of leaning over her, her soft curves cushioning him before he thrust inside her. There was something very compelling about her. Ronan couldn’t pinpoint exactly what it was, but he knew it was more about the woman herself than the fact he had been alone for so long.

He hungered for food and the pleasures of the flesh. 

He craved the feel of the rain upon his skin.

He yearned for the sun and the wind. 

But Meg’s presence dimmed everything else. 

There was pain in her gray eyes, but the light within her brightened all. She was tempting, arousing, and fierce without even knowing it.

Ronan had been given odd jobs throughout the castle. The fact there wasn’t much for him to do showed how well run the castle truly was. 

He would often find himself near Meg, and he used every opportunity to speak with her in the hopes of learning more about her. Each time he made her laugh was a small triumph. 

As the days flew by, he found himself searching for her to make sure she was within reach and safe. When he wasn't checking on Meg, he was working outside any chance he got so he could bask in the sun.

It had felt good to use his muscles and his mind. How he used to complain about the menial work his uncle made him perform. Wouldn’t his uncle be laughing now if he could see that Ronan was looking for work to occupy him.

A month to the day that he had been freed from his prison, he waited for Meg. Three nights in a row he had woken with a feeling that he needed to go to the mirror, and every night that feeling increased. It unsettled him, because he feared he might not have a choice of remaining and making a life. He could be back in the hated mirror regardless of what Meg said.

He pushed away from the wall and smiled when he spotted her walking from the castle with a basket laden with food. He quickly fell into step beside her. “Need some help?”

He didn’t give her time to answer as he took the basket. Her strides were long and purposeful as her gaze darted to the ominous clouds that filled the sky.

“Did you sleep well?” she asked as she nodded in passing to a man tending to the horses.

“I didna sleep.” Even in the night he was battered on all sides by the sounds and sights around him. It was so different than the silent blackness he had known for so long. As he soaked it all in, sleep was the farthest thing from his mind. 

His chamber – on an opposite side of the castle from Meg’s – had a lovely view. Yet, he found himself standing outside her door most nights fighting his desire to taste her lips and skin. He wouldn’t go uninvited into her room when she was offering him a roof over his head, food in his stomach, and most especially, freedom from the mirror.

But how he hungered for her.

So much so, that when he had found a willing woman, he had walked away. Him. Walked away! It unheard of. Particularly when his cock ached for relief.

The maid’s kisses had been experienced, her body soft, but she hadn’t been Meg. Even now he couldn’t believe he had left a willing female to instead stand guard outside Meg’s door with desire burning through him.

She frowned as she cut her eyes to him. “Aren’t you tired?”

“When there is only darkness around you, there’s no need to open your eyes. I feel as if I’ve slept away years. I want to take it all in while I have the chance.”

“You still think I’m going to send you back,” she said, appalled. “I said I wouldn’t.”

He shrugged. It wasn’t like Ronan could tell her he didn’t trust women. He knew them to be manipulative, devious creatures who wanted nothing more than their own pleasures.

Meg came to a halt. It took a moment for Ronan to realize that she had stopped, so he was a couple of paces ahead before he paused and turned to look at her.

Her gray eyes blazed with fury as the wind whipped at the strands of her auburn hair that had come loose of the simple braid. “You think I’m lying. Me!”

Ronan shifted the basket to his other hand and braced himself. First there was anger, and then women cried. He hoped Meg wouldn’t shed any tears. It would ruin everything. “Two other women have sent me back.”

“I don’t know how I called you out of the mirror, so it just goes to show that I don’t know how to send you back. Plus I told you I wouldn’t. Obviously, you take a woman’s word as nothing.”

“It was a woman who put me in the mirror.”

Meg’s eyes widened in annoyance. “Oh, well then never mind that you refused to wed her granddaughter after bedding her.”

“I didna kill Ana,” Ronan said in a low voice. He was surprised at the anger that rose up so quickly. He was many things, but he wasn’t a murderer.

The ire evaporated from Meg’s face instantly. “You’re right. You didn’t. Ana was weak. Men regularly go back on vows and seduce women with false promises, and we survive. Ana should have as well. Men aren’t worth the time, and they certainly aren’t worth our souls.”

Ronan could only stare after Meg as she walked past him onto the worn road from the castle. There had been something in her voice, a note of regret and desolation that was like a sword through his gut. 

He wanted to know what had happened to her, but more than that, he wanted to know who had hurt her. She was a gentle spirit, but he had glimpsed the fire and passion in her gaze. She was a beauty waiting to break through the chains holding her back.

With little effort, Ronan caught up with Meg. They walked in silence for a while. He kept going over what she had said in his mind. There was no doubt some man had forsaken her. Had he stolen her innocence and refused to marry her?

The idea made Ronan grip the handle of the basket so hard that it creaked in protest. Gradually, he loosened his hand until he had his rage under control.

“You doona trust men,” he said into the silence. “Why are you trusting me, lass?”

She looked at him with wide gray eyes and smiled tightly. “Oh, I don’t.”

“I doona understand. Why let me have my freedom then? Why allow me to sleep in the castle, to work and eat there?”

They came to a small rundown cottage, and Meg stopped and reached into the basket. “You didn’t hurt me, Ronan, and everyone needs a second chance to build their lives.”

“Is that what you’re doing? Building your life?”

She laughed, but the sound was forced. “Nay. Mine was over before it ever began.”

He could only watch as she knocked on the cottage door and handed cheese and a loaf of bread to a woman so bent with age she couldn’t stand straight.

There were no more words as he walked beside her to the next cottage where five small children gathered around her before she could even get to the door.

The pleasure on her face as she interacted with them was evident. Meg was a woman made to be a mother. She nourished and encouraged as if it were second nature. And the children responded to her.

For once, he was looking at a woman as something more than a source of pleasure. He was seeing Meg, really seeing her. It was something new, and it felt as if the earth had been yanked out from beneath him.

Women were all the same. Weren’t they?

Weeks ago he would have said yes, but after meeting Meg and coming to know her, he was reevaluating his ideas. She hadn’t manipulated him into giving her anything. She hadn’t cried or used her body.

She had, however, given him the one thing he wanted above all – freedom. While asking for nothing in return.

Was that why he felt compelled to remain near her? Was that why he desired her as deeply as he did? 

She may have acted differently than any other woman he knew, but he wasn’t yet convinced that she wouldn’t become what he had learned women truly were.

Still...he couldn’t stop thinking about Meg.

Ronan propped a hip against the stone wall surrounding the cottage. The roof was in desperate need of repair, and the stack of wood for the fire only had a few logs left. As he catalogued what needed to be done, he took note of how Meg gave a treat to each child that sent them running around the yard with bright smiles and laughter.

By the time Meg rejoined him, a serene smile was in place.

“What?” she asked when she saw him staring.

“You should have children of your own.”

She licked her lips and brushed past him to continue on the road without responding.

“Do you deny you want children?” he asked, unsure why it seemed so important to him.

“Nay.”

That one word held a wealth of meaning – fear, pain. But more than that, there was resignation.

CHAPTER FOUR