The Crafty Teddy (13 page)

Tina said, “But Mrs. Merrit—”

“That’s okay, Sheriff,” I said. “Mrs. Merrit is overwrought and in pain. In fact, your right shoulder is really hurting, isn’t it Marie? How’d that happen?”

“I said, get out!”

“Of course, but in the immortal words of the Governator,” I now switched over to my best Arnold Schwarzenegger voice: “We’ll be back.”

Ten

The rain was pelting down hard and blowing sideways as we went back to the patrol car. However, the storm-line was pushing rapidly eastward and there were already patches of brilliant blue sky to the west. It was perhaps twenty degrees cooler than a half hour earlier, but I knew it would soon grow hot again and be even muggier than it had been before the storm.

Once we were in the car, Tina said, “Did I miss something in there?”

“Sorry for jumping in like that, but that was the most blatant job of stonewalling I’ve seen in a long time.”

As Tina started the car and backed from the driveway, I briefly explained the verbal and visual cues that had told me Marie was concealing information. Tina hit the brakes, stopping the car in the middle of the road, and said, “Do you think that she might actually be the killer?”

“I don’t know. She was unequivocal when she denied killing him, but we know she’s a first-rate liar—and also tall enough to fit the suspect profile.”

“And she might have injured her shoulder swinging the hammer. God, I’m so stupid for missing that.”

“No, you’re not. It’s just that I’ve worked about a thousand more murders than you have. Don’t worry, you’ll learn.”

“I hope so.”

“And we can’t jump to conclusions about Marie. She may be a slob and acting hinky as hell, but she isn’t stupid.”

“I’m not following.”

“She admitted to being alone and away from her house during the time when Merrit was murdered. If she did kill him, that doesn’t make any sense.”

“Because she’d be implicating herself. I see. So, what do we do?”

The rain abated for a moment and I looked back over my shoulder at the house. “Right now, we’ve got no leverage to make her tell the truth and there really isn’t any physical evidence linking her to the murder.”

“Unlike the Yakuza.”

“Exactly. So, we need to roll by the museum to make sure they’ve finished processing the crime scene and then get to work on the search warrant affidavit.”

Tina eased up on the brake and let the patrol car start rolling down the road. “Sounds good, but do we have enough time for me to go home and feed my kids some dinner?”

I looked at the dashboard clock and was stunned to see it was nearly five
P.M.
We’d been so busy, that I’d lost track of time and had assumed the only reason I was feeling hungry was because I’d missed lunch. I said, “Absolutely. We’ll eat and meet back at the station.”

The rain had stopped and wispy tendrils of steam were rising from the roadway by the time we arrived at the museum. As we turned into the driveway we saw a remote van from the Harrisonburg television station parked in the lot with its satellite boom elevated into the sky. There were a handful of journalists standing on the lawn and they all noticed our arrival. Obviously, news of the murder had finally leaked out.

“The tragedy mongers have arrived,” I said.

“What should I tell them?” Tina sounded glum.

“As little as possible. I’d limit it to saying there was a murder and you’re investigating, but nothing else.”

“They’re going to want more than that.”

“And people in hell want ice water. We’ve got to keep the elements of the crime scene a secret.”

Tina got out of the car to talk to the reporters and I limped toward the museum. One of the journalists followed me as far as the crime scene tape, but gave up when I refused to say anything. Inside, I found Allsop and we made one final inspection of the building. He’d done a fine job processing the crime scene and I commended him for his efforts. I looked out the front window and saw that Tina was still talking to the reporters and she looked as tense as a nudist in a cactus garden. Finally, they let her go and she took me home.

Ash was sitting on the porch with Kitchener and they both came out to meet us. “You guys look solemn.”

“That’s because Mrs. Merrit decided to play truth dodgeball and complicated everything by turning herself into a potential suspect,” I said, climbing from the car. “Thanks for the ride, Tina, and we’ll meet you at the station at seven-thirty.”

“I’ll be there.”

Tina backed the cruiser down the driveway as I gave Ash a kiss and then limped toward the door. Kitch followed, snuffling at my legs. He seemed to like the scents I’d brought home from Merrit’s house, which really wasn’t surprising considering that one of Kitch’s favorite pastimes is rolling in deer dung.

Ash paused to look at our house. “I noticed that you didn’t sound entirely convinced when Tina dismissed the connection between the murder and our burglary.”

“I’m not,” I said pensively.

“Could the SUV we saw leaving that night have been a Hummer?”

“We can’t rule it out, especially since we don’t know how long the Yakuza have been in the country and I never got a look at the Hummer’s taillights today.”

There was a pause before Ash said, “So, they could come back.”

“I don’t think it’s likely. After having been seen in town and then committing a brutal murder like that, they’d be crazy to stay in the area,” I said, wondering which of us I was hoping to reassure.

“I suppose you’re right.” She took my hand. “I’ll bet you’re hungry.”

“Famished and, oh my God, do I smell your famous tequila-lime chicken with pasta?”

“I knew you didn’t get any lunch.”

I took her hand. “Mark this down as yet another reason why you’re the best homicide partner I’ve ever had.”

I made a pot of coffee while Ash scooped the pasta onto plates. As we ate dinner, I told Ash about our visit to the Merrit house and conversation with Marie.

She said, “Maybe Marie found out that Merrit was having an affair. That’s a pretty good motive.”

“But why would she kill the guy who was holding down two jobs so that she could sit on her fat ass and watch TV?”

“Where else was he working?”

“The museum was only a weekend gig. Gage told me that Merrit’s main job was as a professor at some junior college in Waynesboro.”

Ash made a sour face. “Maybe Merrit had a girlfriend there too, who found out about Linda the lust monster.”

“Murdered by a jealous lover? It’s certainly a possibility and something we’ll explore in the unlikely event we end up eliminating the Yakuza and Marie as persons of interest.”

“So, why was Marie withholding information?”

“I don’t know and for the moment we’ve got to put her on the backburner. She seemed genuinely surprised when Tina made the death notification.” I used my fork to scoop up the few droplets of the delicious cilantro, garlic, and tequila pesto on my empty plate. “My compliments to the chef. This was fantastic.”

“You’re welcome, and there’s more for lunch tomorrow.”

“Let’s hope we’re here to have it. Did you have any trouble finding that old computer disc?”

“No. I put it on the coffee table.”

I got up to help Ash clear the table. “Thanks. And on a lighter note, do you want to know a juicy little secret that doesn’t have anything to do with murder?”

“Of course.”

“Sergei is infatuated with Tina and is getting ready to ask her out on a date.”

“Well, it’s about time.”

“You don’t seem surprised.”

Ash put the pot containing the leftovers into the refrigerator and then turned to give me a pat on the cheek. “Honey, for someone with amazing powers of observation, there are times when you’re absolutely clueless.”

“It’s a guy thing. Since it’s obvious you knew, how could you tell?”

“All you have to do is watch Sergei’s eyes whenever Tina’s around. They kind of remind me of yours when you look at me.” She leaned over to give me a kiss.

Breaking for air, I said, “And now I realize why you gave me that amused look this morning when we were talking about the bear I’m making for Sergei. You guessed it was a gift for Tina. By the way, he about had a stroke when he found out that the bear looks like him.”

“Tina will love it.”

“That’s what I told him. So, assuming you’ve talked to Tina, how does she feel about her secret admirer?”

“There’s a reason why she goes to the Brick Pit almost everyday for lunch, and it sure isn’t because she loves barbecue.”

“So she likes him.”

“Of course, but she wishes he’d do something other than gaze at her.”

Although I hated doing it, I put Kitch back in his crate and we headed over to the sheriff’s department. Tina’s patrol car was already in the parking lot and we found her in her office. She looked up from the computer screen as we came in.

“Ready for round two?” I asked.

“Absolutely. Let me close this document out and we can get started with the affidavit.”

Tina got up and I sat down in her chair. Slipping the disc into the computer, I accessed the boilerplate
subpoena dueces tecum
warrant for digital information and began filling in the blanks. My typing was a little rusty, so I didn’t finish until a few minutes after eight. Then Ash proofread the document for errors, and it’s a good thing she did: there were a number of mistakes, the most glaring being that I’d accidentally typed “County of San Francisco” when describing the location of the crime. I corrected the errors, printed the final draft, and Ash read it one more time.

We then drove out to Judge John Skidmore’s house to have him read and issue the search warrant that would compel Olympus Rent-a-Car to activate the Hummer’s GPS unit and tell us where the vehicle was. Remmelkemp Mill is a tiny place, so I knew Judge Skidmore and liked him both as a person and as a no-nonsense jurist. Skidmore lived in a modest house on the east side of the river, about halfway up the Blue Ridge Mountains foothill the locals call “The Giant’s Grave.” As we pulled into the driveway, we saw a mama skunk and her brood of youngsters marching Indian-file across the lawn and we made sure they were gone before getting out of the car.

Tina had called in advance and Skidmore met us at the door. We retired to his den where we sat on a leather sofa while he carefully examined the affidavit. About forty-five minutes later, he issued the search warrant and we were on our way back to the sheriff’s department to fax the document to the corporate headquarters of Olympus Rent-a-Car in Delaware.

I said, “So, do we have any idea when Olympus is going to tell us where the Hummer is?”

Tina tried to stifle a yawn. “They said that once they received the fax, one of their lawyers was going to have to review it to make sure it was valid before they complied.”

“And you can bet that lawyer isn’t working at ten o’clock on a Saturday night.”

“I know, but they have an on-call attorney and they said they’d forward the warrant to him. Still, we probably won’t hear anything until late tomorrow morning.”

“It’s your call, Tina, but once you’ve sent that fax, why don’t we call it a day? We’ve done everything we can for now and we’ll need a good night’s sleep for tomorrow.”

“You won’t get an argument from me. I’m bushed.” Tina pulled into her parking spot at the station. “There’s no sense in you guys coming in. Go on home and I’ll see you in the morning.”

When Ash and I got home, she went upstairs while I took Kitch outside and admired the fireflies as he made his final latrine call of the night. By the time I got upstairs, Ash was in the bathroom and just finishing washing her face.

“Long day,” I said.

“I can’t wait to get into bed.” Ash dabbed at her face with a towel.

I turned on the shower and began stripping off my clothes. Back when I was with SFPD I always took a shower after working at a death scene, and it was a little comforting that I’d slipped back into that old habit. It meant that I’d temporarily recovered my persona as a homicide inspector. Even though I love my new life making teddy bears, there are times when I really miss cop work.

When the water was hot, I got into the shower and pulled the curtain shut. But as I was letting the water splash on my head, I felt Ash’s hands on my back as she climbed into the shower behind me.

Turning around, I said, “Hey, I thought you said you were tired.”

Ash smiled slyly. “No, what I said was: I can’t wait to get into bed.”

We slept late. It was almost eight
A.M.
when the phone rang. I grabbed the receiver and said, “I hope for your sake this is Sheriff Barron.”

“Brad! OnStar just called and we know where the Hummer is.” Tina was excited.

I quickly sat up. Meanwhile, Ash raised herself onto one elbow and pressed her head against the opposite of the phone receiver so that she could listen too. I said, “Where?”

“At a motel on Steinwehr Avenue in Gettysburg, and Olympus will give us updates if it goes mobile.”

“I don’t want to keep Kitch in the crate all day. Can your kids watch him?”

“They’d love it.”

“Good, then we’ll be at your house in about twenty minutes.”

Eleven

Actually, it was closer to a half hour. Ash knew we were going to be busy and that I can become a little prickly when I’m hungry, so she made us a quick breakfast of scrambled eggs and soy sausages before we left. Then we drove over to Tina’s house and let an overjoyed Kitch out to play with the waiting kids. Tina met us at her police cruiser and handed us each a plastic embossed card.

Ash asked, “What are these?”

“Official ID cards. I thought that as long as we were going to be outside the county, it might be good if you both had some sort of department identification.”

My card featured the Massanutten County Sheriff’s six-pointed gold star on the left and a small color photo of me on the right. My name was underneath the picture along with the title of “Criminal Investigation Consultant.” As I slipped the card into the wallet containing my SFPD retiree badge, I said, “How did you make these things without having our photos?”