The Cowboy's Surrender (22 page)

Gillian sat on the bed and watched Jessie with the baby. "You're very lucky. You have such a wonderful family. Everyone is so nice and friendly."

"Everyone except Dallas. He isn't being very nice and friendly, is he?" Jessie looked over her shoulder. "What in the world happened between you two? I'm not being nosy. Well, maybe a little. I mean, you didn't
really
believe he was responsible for all that stuff happening at the rig, did you?"

"No. Yes. In the beginning, when I first arrived . . ." Gillian paused for a moment, then sighed. "I didn't know him, you see. And his attitude when we first met . . . He could barely talk about the drilling without choking. He was extremely antagonistic."

Jessie shrugged one shoulder. "Dallas never has been Mr. Congeniality."

Gillian took a deep breath. "No, but he was actually hostile toward me. Then, when he brought you to my office to sign those papers, he said that he'd do anything to get Copper River Oil off his land. What was I supposed to think?"

"He said that?" Jessie asked. "But he would never . . . What else did he say?"

"Nothing. He kissed me." She stared at her hands in her lap. It seemed ages ago. Almost like a dream. Like it never really happened.

"He kissed you? There in your office?" Jessie looked at her in amazement. "I remember now. He was so angry. I thought it was about the drilling. But it was you. He was in love with you even then."

Gillian shook her head. "No, he wanted me. There's a big difference. None of this matters anyway. He won't let me explain. Or apologize. He doesn't want me now."

Jessie finished diapering the baby and sat in the rocker Ruth had so thoughtfully provided. "Look, I've never seen Dallas look at a woman the way he was looking at you at the jubilee and at the hospital. He was positively glowing with happiness for a week after the baby was born. I think he's in love with you."

"Not anymore. He thinks I betrayed him. I can't help what I thought about him at first. I made a mistake."

Jessie stopped rocking the baby. "It has always been difficult for Dallas to forgive. Believe me, I know. He's just now forgiving me for all that mess with the mineral rights. Give him a little time. You have to make him listen to you."

Gillian twisted her hands in her lap. "I don't have much time left."

"What do you mean?"

"The well is dry. We'll be closing down the rig. I'm sorry."

"Sorry?" Jessie laughed. "I'm not sorry. Do you know how much grief I've caused this family because of the drilling? What a relief! Well, this should certainly make Dallas more receptive to your apologies."

Gillian sighed. "I don't think he'll ever forgive me. Besides, I'll be moving on soon."

"Do you want to move on?" Jessie asked quietly. "You love him, don't you?"

"That's not the point, is it?"

"If Dallas asked you--"

Gillian shook her head. "He won't ask."

Jessie frowned. "Does he realize you're leaving?"

"I haven't told him yet." Moving from the bed, Gillian squatted near the rocker, rubbing the sleeping baby's cheek with one finger. "I'm glad I could help with the baby, Jessie. I'm glad I met you and your family."

"Don't talk like that," Jessie said. "You sound like we're never going to see you again. Dallas loves you, even though he won't admit it. And you love him. It'll work out some how."

Gillian slowly rose, shaking her head. "I don't think so. Maybe I shouldn't have come to the shower. I'm making everyone uncomfortable."

"No, you're not. I'm happy you came. And Cameron wanted to meet you. When Dallas sees that we're still friends, maybe it'll help him come around."

Tori stuck her head in the room. "What are you two doing in here? Talking about my big bad brother?"

Gillian blushed, keeping her eyes on the baby.

"Which one?" Jessie said, with a laugh. "All of your brothers are big and bad."

"Don't I know it." Tori rolled her eyes to the ceiling. "All right, time to party. Don't you want to open your gifts?" she asked Jessie.

"Sure, just give me a minute. I'll be right there."

"Come on," Tori said to Gillian. "I'll protect you from Dallas."

Gillian looked at Jessie helplessly as Tori dragged her off to join the others.

****

Dallas quietly slipped into the living room, where everyone was gathered. He did a quick survey of the guests. On the other side of the room, Gillian sat on a folding chair, her back ramrod straight, her smile strained. She held a cup of punch tightly in her hands, holding on to it as if it were a lifeline.

Their eyes met for a brief second. Gillian's mocha-colored gaze held longing and sadness. She broke contact, focusing her attention on Jessie and Cameron seated on the couch.

Dallas didn't want to think what she might see in his own eyes. He didn't know what he felt. Anger. Hurt. And desire, damn it. For a moment, he forgot about Gillian's betrayal. Forgot he had sworn never to think about her again.

Christ, she looked good. He had never seen her in a dress before. He thought she had looked sexy in those tight khakis, t-shirt, and hiking boots. That was nothing compared to the yellow sundress and the dainty white sandals she had on now. That dress begged for him to slip his fingers under the thin straps, push them from her silky shoulders, trace the fabric across her full breasts . . .

He ordered himself to stop his wayward thoughts before he acted like a fool. Leaning against the doorframe, he pulled his gaze away from Gillian and watched Jessie open presents. Everyone
oohed
and
aahed
over each tiny bootie and soft fuzzy blanket. Even his brothers exclaimed over the gifts.

It was downright embarrassing. Men shouldn't have to go to these things, he thought. They usually didn't. Weren't even invited. But this was no ordinary baby shower. It was more of a welcome-the-new-McCade-into-the-family kind of party. Hell, half the county was here. Jessie had a lot of friends and people were glad Cameron was back in Salt Fork. He'd been away a long time, but now he was the resident doctor in town.

"Okay, pass that blanket around and open the last gift," Tori said. "Then we can eat. I'm starving."

"Spoken like a true McCade. Blunt and to the point." Sam Garza lifted his glass in mock salute.

Dallas saw his baby sister lift her chin, a martial light shining in her deep blue eyes. Tori handed Jessie the gift, then looked at Sam. "I'd rather be blunt and to the point, than talk in circles and leave people in the dark about what they're thinking or feeling."

"Tori," Ruth said. "You mustn't say such things. Especially with a house full of guests."

Tori continued to stare at Sam. A fleeting emotion flashed across his face. He nodded, then slowly smiled, raising his glass to her once more.

Dallas had the distinct impression that a gauntlet had been thrown down. He wondered again what was going on between those two. He didn't know how he felt about his little sister being involved with a man.

Hell, he didn't know anything about his feelings these days. Ever since Gillian had arrived on the scene, nothing had been the same. Feelings and emotions, alternating between rage and hostility, desire and ecstasy, betrayal and hurt, had him jumping like a puppet on a string. He didn't care for the situation at all.

After the last gift was opened and exclaimed over, the guests migrated toward the food. Dallas wasn't hungry and he certainly wasn't in the mood to mingle. Besides, he'd never been the social type. His reluctance to join the party had nothing to do with Gillian's presence.
Right, McCade.

Quickly and quietly, he let himself out the front door. He stayed on the porch and leaned on the railing, looking at the stand of mesquite trees bordering the yard, the fields of cotton in the distance. Wondering if his life would ever get back to normal. Almost forgetting what normal was.

The squeak of the screen door made his shoulders stiffen. He knew who it was without turning his head. From the corner of his eye, Dallas watched Gillian's cautious approach.

He fought the overwhelming urge to gather her in his arms and kiss the wary look from her eyes. A fierce yearning slammed his gut, blind-siding him and making his heart hammer in his head. He tried not to remember how her supple body felt next to his. How her fingers had explored his chest, trailed rivulets of awareness down his stomach, dipped into his navel, then closed around him, bringing him to a pitch of frenzied passion.

Gillian stood beside him. Close enough to smell her unique blend of vanilla and femininity. Far enough away to emphasize the barriers that had risen between them. Silence hung heavy between them. She stared straight ahead, her eyes searching the distance, before she finally turned toward him.

Dallas hitched a hip on the wooden railing and crossed his arms. He waited for her to speak. A heaviness lay deep inside his chest, threatening to erupt and consume him. What was it about this woman that caused him to feel everything so intensely?

He focused on her mouth. That was a mistake. When she bit the full bottom lip, he almost groaned, remembering her taste, her response to his kisses. When her brown eyes found his, Dallas struggled for breath. The wanting was a living, pulling thing between them. He refused to succumb to her seductive lures. She was just a woman. Like all the rest of the treacherous breed. He should have learned his lesson from his ex-wife. He should never have allowed himself to give in to temptation. But Gillian was sexy enough to tempt a saint. He'd never considered himself saintly.

"Why did you come here?" he asked.

"I wanted to see the baby. And your family. I wanted to see you," she whispered, then lifted her chin. "You never let me apologize. I'm sorry for what happened."

"Me, too. Sorry I ever laid eyes on you."

Gillian flinched, but kept her chin raised. "Well, that makes two of us, doesn't it?" She knew it was a lie, but refused to let him see her hurt. "You'll be happy to know I won't be around much longer. Your wish has come true. Copper River Oil is pulling out. There's not enough oil and gas to justify expenses. We'll be off your property by the end of the month. I'll make sure we leave the land intact. At least I can do that much. Good bye, Dallas."

She pushed away from the railing, walked across the porch, across the yard to her car. Never looking back. Dallas watched her drive away, feeling like he'd been sucker-punched in the gut.

Cameron came out of the house. "You going to let her go? Just like that?"

Dallas nodded.

"You know," Cameron said, leaning against the porch rail, "it's damned scary to let someone get close. But guess what? It's a hell of a lot scarier to think of living the rest of your life without the woman you love. The one who loves you back."

"Love has nothing to do with this," Dallas said.

"Doesn't it?" Cameron raised a brow. "Gillian has the look of a woman in love."

"How could she love me when she thought I was trying to shut down the rig? You've got to trust someone in order to love them. She thinks I'm a vengeful, scheming, dishonest--"

"Maybe she did at first," Cameron said, interrupting him. "She told Jessie she had her doubts in the beginning. That was before she knew you. You aren't exactly charming when you're angry. Remember how you lit into Jessie when Copper River Oil first moved onto the land? I still cringe when I think about it."

"Look, I told Jessie I was sorry. I can't change the past," Dallas said. "Besides, none of that matters anymore. Copper River is pulling out."

Cameron smiled. "Congratulations. Everything can get back to normal now."

Dallas rubbed the back of his neck. "Funny thing. I can't remember what normal is anymore."

"Because your
normal
was just a state of being. You were existing, not living. Gillian changed all that," Cameron said. "Don't let her go. Swallow your pride. Go after her. Grab a little happiness. You deserve it."

"I don't know if I can." Dallas stared down the road.

"Gillian isn't Marilyn," Cameron said. "Don't punish her for Marilyn's sins. A good woman is hard to find. Don't throw away this chance. Go after Gillian."

****

Dallas stood on the ridge overlooking the drilling site. A month had passed and Gillian had been as good as her word. There was little evidence left that Copper River Oil had been drilling on the Diamondback Ranch. Gillian's men had bulldozed the area, graded it out, and planted new grass and sagebrush. They'd completely covered their tracks. He wondered if they always left abandoned wells like that. Or had Gillian taken extra care with this particular site like she'd promised. An odd sensation settled in his stomach at the thought.

Lifting his Stetson, Dallas ran his fingers through his hair. He should have been happy. Ecstatic. Walking on air. Four months ago, his most fervent desire had been that Copper River Oil wouldn't strike oil. He'd been granted that wish. Copper River was gone, but so was Gillian.