The Cowboy's Courtship (10 page)

And now he knew the truth.

“It’s okay to be afraid.”

“It isn’t okay when fear keeps you from doing what you have to do.”

She looked out at the field, and then at the sky. There were clouds in the distance. Dark gray and eating up the blue sky as they moved north.

“Looks like a storm coming.” Jason followed her gaze. “Think we ought to head back?”

She shook her head. She wasn’t ready to head back. From where she stood, she could see the children with their group leaders. They had classes after breakfast and then craft time.

“Jason, I’ll help plan the fund-raiser. I’ll help the children in any way that I can. I’m not sure if I can play.”

His arm slid around her waist and she wondered how his touch made her feel stronger, almost made her believe she could walk on stage and conquer her fear.

“No one is going to push you to do something you’re not ready to do. I’m sorry if you felt like I was pushing. I didn’t realize.” His voice was low, husky and tinged with an Oklahoma accent that softened it all, making it easy to hear.

She turned to look up at him, at a cowboy with a Robert Redford smile and brown eyes so warm, so kind, she wanted to…to touch him. How had that happened, that twenty-eight years of holding back ended with this moment of wanting to let go and feel a little of what everyone else felt, even their pain? Even if it meant being afraid.

His pain. She sometimes saw flashes of it in the depths of his eyes. But he always wiped it away with a smile and a joke.

“George Strait,” he whispered.

“What?”

“On the radio.” He held her hand in his and his left hand went to her waist.

She paused, barely hearing the song that filtered from somewhere farther down in the stable. He held her close and they swayed to the music and then he twirled her in a circle under his arm and pulled her close again.

She reached up, touching his cheek, resting her palm
there. His head bent and she waited, breathless in a way that was full of wonder and a fear that didn’t create panic, but made her wait, expecting something beautiful.

The horse nuzzled her arm as she leaned back against the stall door, Jason in front of her, his eyes tender and warm, holding her captive.

His lips touched hers and she leaned into him. His hands cupped her cheeks as he made her breathless.

“Alyson, you are so beautiful,” he said softly, holding her close as he kissed her again.

He made her feel beautiful, and strong.

When the kiss ended, she held him close as they returned to a world that was crashing with thunder, sweeping a breeze through the stable and kicking up dust in the field.

“Wow, did we do that?” He laughed a little shakily as he leaned on the door of the stall next to her, holding her with an arm wrapped around her waist.

“I think we must have.” Her voice trembled and she wanted to sit down.

Outside lightning flashed across the sky, followed by a crash of thunder. She jumped a little.

“Come on, let’s go down to the office and drag out a couple of chairs. We can’t go anywhere until this is over, we might as well have a cup of coffee and enjoy watching it rain.”

The two of them, alone, while her emotions were doing cartwheels and her brain was trying to drag her back to reality. Her brain and her emotions were clashing, creating a storm of their own that she knew she couldn’t outrun.

In the beginning she had allowed herself to believe that it was the newness of being here, of knowing someone like Jason, that created the intensity of her emotions. But the more she knew him, the more she wanted to be near him.

She watched from the door of the office as Jason filled the coffeepot with water from the watercooler and then scooped coffee into the filter basket. He switched it on and then reached for a couple of folded canvas chairs.

He handed her the chairs and sidestepped out of the office, holding the doorframe as he eased down. He smiled at her, winking as he took the chairs back.

“I’m not getting any younger.” He said it with a lightness that she had to wonder about. Did it really not bother him? Was he really capable of joking about an injury that could possibly rob him of his career?

Or was she right, and that’s how he handled life? He made a joke of the things he didn’t want to deal with, to smooth over his pain.

“It can’t be that easy.” She took one of the chairs and unfolded it in the doorway of the stable, back far enough to keep them out of the wind and rain, close enough to feel the cool breeze.

He sat down next to her. “I’m getting my memory back. My knee is probably going to need surgery, but it’ll get better.”

“I don’t know if anyone is that strong.” She didn’t look at him. Instead, she watched the rolling clouds of the storm sweep across the vast openness that was Oklahoma. “I hope there aren’t any tornadoes.”

Gray skies and green grass met at the horizon line. The temperature cooled and Alyson shivered.

“Someone would come get us, or call my cell phone if there were.” Jason reached for her hand. “Relax.”

She sat for a moment, his hand strong and firm on hers. She listened to the coffeepot as it gurgled and then was silent.

“I’ll get our coffee.”

“Thanks.” Jason touched her arm before she could walk away. “And you’re right. It isn’t always easy.”

J
ason drove up to the camp the morning after the storm had blown through, taking shingles off one of the dorms and knocking limbs from a few trees. And in a sense, doing things to his heart he hadn’t expected. But that had been a storm of a different kind. That storm had happened inside the stable and it was still pounding at him, making him relive a moment when he’d held Alyson in his arms and he had realized something about himself.

He had realized that for the first time in years he was being honest with his emotions and the woman he had held shifted that for him, making him reach out instead of tucking it all inside. For a guy who rode bulls for a living, he had thrived on safe. Safe relationships.

Because as far back as he could remember, only a few people lasted. He had a few guys on the bull-riding circuit that were still friends. But being in that life, traveling from event to event, things were always changing. People came and went.

You got used to guys leaving due to injuries, or be
cause they got bumped to the lower event levels. Some got married and gave it up.

And Jason had lived that life, traveling, dating the women he met on the road, and never really staying in anyone’s life long enough to get attached.

He hadn’t minded at all. It had suited him.

A storm had changed that for him. A storm had pushed him further into the arms of a woman than he’d ever been. Because there had been a moment when he held her that he couldn’t imagine ever letting go.

He parked his truck in the grassy field that was the parking lot for Camp Hope. He sat for a minute, relieved that he could remember yesterday. And then wishing he could forget.

But he hadn’t been able to forget her since she first arrived. Cashmere and lavender. How in the world had those two things led to his downfall? He’d never been the kind of guy to fall for cashmere. His women had worn jeans and knew how to rope a calf, brand a steer and drive a four-wheel drive truck through mud, with a stock trailer on the back.

Alyson had traded her cashmere for blue jeans and T-shirts.

He climbed out of his truck and headed up the driveway to the stable. It was early and the campers were starting to stir, but the place was still pretty quiet.

If he had time this morning, he wanted to do a little roping with one of the new horses that Adam had bought, just to make sure it was gentle enough for a novice rider.

He walked through the stable to the gated entry at the end. The horse in question, a big chestnut, burnished red
and with a wide, white blaze running down his face was in the corral waiting. The animal trotted to the gate.

Jason snapped a lead rope onto the halter and led the horse through the gate, latching it closed behind them.

“Time for us to see what you can do.”

“He’s pretty gentle.”

Jason turned and nodded at Adam. “Yeah, I think he’ll be fine. There’s a boy with a little riding experience. I’m going to teach him to rope and see what the two of them can do.”

“Jenna talked to Alyson and she thinks we should plan the charity dinner and concert for the same day as the showdeo at the end of the next two week camp. That would be short notice, just three weeks, but it would bring in quite a few people.”

Jason cross-tied the horse in the center aisle of the stable. He walked through the door into the tack room and flipped on the light. There were a dozen or more saddles, bridles and other tack, brushes, and buckets neatly stored inside the room. It smelled like leather and bug spray.

He walked back out with the bridle and saddle. “That would be good. I’ve already been making calls. But Adam, I don’t know if Alyson can do this. She’s willing to help with the planning, but she might not be up to the concert part.”

“Why do you say that?”

“Just leave it up to her.” Jason slid the saddle pad into place on the horse’s back, then the saddle. The gelding twitched a little, stomped at a fly on his leg and then settled. Jason tightened the girth strap.

“Whatever you say.” Adam gave him another look, and Jason ignored the grin on the other man’s face.

“Yeah, whatever I say. Turn a calf loose in the arena.”

The horse walked next to him, as if it had been his horse for years and knew exactly what was expected of him. The previous owners had said the horse had been used in small rodeos, but a guy never knew for sure.

The sun was burning the last of the dew off the grass and heating up the morning as Jason slid his foot into the stirrup and lifted himself into the saddle. His right leg went over the horse’s back and he settled into the seat.

“Easy there, boy.” Jason held the reins and waited for the gelding to settle. He could feel the shifting, feel the horse tense. “You aren’t going to throw me, big guy.”

The horse moved a few steps, stomping and then nodding his head a little as he fought the bit.

“Don’t tell me I got ripped again.” Adam stood outside the arena, leaning on the gate.

“No, he’s just restless. And I think he’s afraid of the calf.” What kind of roping horse was afraid of a calf?

Like a pianist afraid to play the piano. It could happen.

Jason pulled back on the reins and the horse backed at his command. “Not bad.”

He rested the reins on the animal’s neck and put pressure on his left side. The horse turned to the right. Jason nodded and touched his heels into the horse’s side. With that silent command the gelding broke into a slow trot. They circled the arena and the calf stayed ahead of them. When Jason was ready and thought the horse was ready he gave another light nudge and the animal broke into an easy lope, inside front leg leading, head down at a nice level. He adjusted, pulling back on the reins, and the horse walked.

Jason rode back to the gate. “He’ll make a good pleasure class horse. Put a kid on him for that and he’ll be fine. I’ll try using him for roping, but if he’s a Western pleasure horse, that’s where I’d keep him.”

The horse was meant to show, not rodeo. He had the gait, didn’t have to be encouraged to lead off on the right leg. It was a no-brainer as far as Jason was concerned. He swung his leg over the saddle and dismounted.

He landed with a jolt that jarred his leg and he took in a quick breath. “Wow, that wasn’t good.”

“When are you going to have that surgery?” Adam opened the gate and Jason led the horse out.

“One of these days.” He stopped while Adam latched the gate. Out of the corner of his eye he saw movement. Alyson and the boy who wanted to learn to rope. He had really thought the chestnut gelding would be a great fit. Back to the drawing board on that.

“Alyson, Trent, you guys are down here early.”

Alyson shrugged a little and looked away, her cheeks flushed pink. “I work down here, remember?”

Oh yeah. She worked down here. And she was dressed for the occasion in clothes that looked right off the rack and boots that were still a little too shiny. She’d have blisters tonight and tomorrow she wouldn’t be smiling. He’d seen a pair of boots in the tack room. If he could talk her into wearing those, she’d be a lot happier. Or at least more comfortable.

“You want to try this horse out, Trent?” Jason held the reins of the saddled chestnut and waited for the boy to stop looking overwhelmed.

The kid, lanky and with hair the color of straw, finally
shrugged. Man, Jason remembered that age. About thirteen, when everything felt awkward and there was a new experience every day, making a guy feel like he might never understand life or girls.

Especially one like Alyson, who didn’t give it all away with a smile and a look in her eyes. She kept a part of herself back and left something for a guy to discover.

He thought he might have to kiss her again later, just to get her to let go of that dangerous look she was wearing.

“I’d like to ride him.” Trent finally found command of the English language, and then his face turned red and he looked down at the ground.

Jason got it then, the kid was in love with Alyson. Well, a guy couldn’t blame him for that.

“Come on then, let’s walk you into the arena and you can show me what you know. Now the thing about this horse is, I don’t think he’s a roping horse. He’s more of a show horse. But we’ll work on roping later.”

“Thank you, sir.” The boy followed Jason through the open gate. When Jason held the headstall of the bridle, the kid put his foot in the stirrup and then half climbed into the saddle.

The gelding twitched a little but he didn’t out and out throw the kid. Trent thunked himself into the saddle and moved his legs a little too much in the stirrups. The horse still didn’t move.

“First off, let’s keep the movements to a minimum.” Jason put the reins in Trent’s hands.

“Yes, sir.”

“Take it easy to start with. You know the basic com
mands from our lesson yesterday. So take him around the arena. One lap at a walk, once at a trot and then an easy lope. Don’t let him take control.”

The boy nodded and turned the horse away from the group of adults who were watching. As he rode away, they all seemed to let out a collective sigh of relief. Jason stayed inside the arena, just in case.

“Any news on the accountant?” He didn’t turn to look at Adam, but kept his attention on the boy and the horse. They were still walking, plodding along. The boy held the reins correctly and rode with his back straight.

“They’ve got a few leads, but the money has been disappearing for months. I guess I never thought someone would embezzle from a camp for kids. And he was smart about it. The books looked clean. It seemed that everything was getting paid. But the biggest loss was through donations. Money that came in and never made it to our account.”

“I’m really sorry.” Jason nodded to the boy as he rode past. “Loosen up on the reins. That’s the reason he’s shaking his head.”

The boy nodded and kept riding, but his hands moved a little and the horse settled into a trot, the head bobbing stopped.

“This too shall pass.” Adam shrugged. “I was ready to go after the guy, but Jenna, man, she’s all faith. She’s positive God will take what this guy meant for bad and use it for good for us.”

Alyson was shaking her head. “How can this be good? How can God let this happen to a camp that only does good things?”

Adam looked at Jason and Jason didn’t know what to say. He knew she needed an answer, because he knew her. He knew her life.

“Life happens, Alyson. People do things that we don’t get. People hurt us. But we find faith.” He shook his head. “That sounds like an easy answer, but it’s the only one that I have. You pray. You find a way to forgive. You trust God to redeem the situation. And through it all, our faith grows. We get stronger.”

“Forgive.” She looked away, blue eyes the color of the blue sky and blond hair lifting in the light breeze. “That’s the part that isn’t easy.”

“No, it isn’t.”

Jason reached to touch her shoulder, but he stopped himself.

Adam had walked away, into the barn, leaving them alone. Not too subtle, Jason thought. He turned his attention back to the horse and its young rider. The animal was in an easy canter, smooth and controlled. The rider looked a little less than confidant and kind of bouncy.

“Tighten up your legs and settle into the saddle,” Jason called out. The boy nodded, just a little and Jason could see that he was trying.

The horse and rider came around the arena again and slowed to a stop in front of Adam. “Move with the horse. Find his rhythm and let that be your rhythm in the saddle. I know it sounds easy, but the more you focus on that, the easier this will be.”

“Got it.” Trent took in a deep breath, as if he could suck in confidence with oxygen. And maybe he could. Jason nodded in the direction of the arena.

“One more time. Walk once, canter once and bring him in.”

“I told Jenna that I could make phone calls. I do know people who could help with the concert.” Alyson spoke as the boy rode away. “I want to help.”

“I know you do.” Jason opened the gate and walked out of the arena. “Listen, don’t feel like you have to do this, Alyson. People will understand. Besides, the other help you can give will mean a lot.”

“Right.” She shot a glance past him, at the arena and Trent. “He’s in trouble.”

Jason turned back just as the horse started to sidestep and then arch his back and buck. “Trent, hold tight with your knees. Don’t let him throw you off. Keep his head up.”

The horse bucked a few more times. The boy went forward in the saddle, but landed back in the seat. He kept his knees tight.

“Keep a firm hold and turn his head back this way. Distract him from wanting to buck.” Sometimes that worked.

Trent followed every command and when they turned back, the horse broke into a stiff-legged walk, but obeyed his rider. Trent shook like a leaf on one of the maple trees during a good wind.

“Buddy, you stayed on him.”

“I heard a bee.” Trent looked a little pale and his voice trembled. “I think he got stung or something in the ear. His ears were really twitching.”

Jason walked back through the gate. “Okay, come here, Red.”

He took the bridle and nodded for the boy to dismount.
When Trent was on the ground, Jason checked the horse over. Sure enough, he had a red mark in his ear where something had stung him.

“You did good, Trent. I’m proud of you. A horse like Red needs a rider like you, one who isn’t going to panic. Tomorrow we’ll work on roping. I think he might be willing to do double duty for you.”

Trent’s face lit up. “You think?”

“I think.” Jason handed the reins over to the teen. “Take him inside. Cross-tie him and take his saddle off. He’ll need a good brushing and some grain before you put him out in the field.”

“Yes, sir.” Trent led the horse away, his back a little straighter.

That’s why Jason was at Camp Hope. Moments like this made it all clear. It made sense, working with these kids, making their lives a little better, giving them a little more confidence. It hooked him, and how did a guy walk away from that?

How did he go back on the road, to airplanes, motels and a different city or town every weekend? How did Jason go back to his life?