The Cowboy SEAL (9 page)

“All right, I’m leaving, but watch your sass.”

Exhaustion clung to Millie’s shoulders, weighing her down and making her movements sluggish. She lacked the energy to fish her cookies from out of hiding, and every stair felt like a mountain.

Cooper’s bedroom door was thankfully closed.

Gunfire erupted from J.J.’s lair, meaning he was still playing one of those too-violent video games she hated. Jim had loved them all, and even as a toddler, J.J. enjoyed sitting on his dad’s lap, helping shoot monsters. He had so few memories of his father, Millie didn’t have the heart to take this one. She did at least limit his killing to dinosaurs and aliens.

“You about ready for bed?” she asked on her way into his room.

“Nope,” J.J. said, “but Uncle Cooper is. He snores
really
loud.”

Sure enough, big, strong Cooper had stretched out on a beanbag chair, using a pile of stuffed animals for a pillow.

Cheetah had stretched across his lap and actually purred!

In sleep, Cooper’s expression looked softer. The concentration line between his brows all but vanished save for a thin line. His long lashes swept his whisker-stubbled cheeks. He truly was far too handsome for his own good.

Back in school, the girls who hadn’t yet had their turn with him, loved him. The girls who’d loved and lost hated him. Since she’d been with Jim, that had landed Millie in the neutral zone in regard to feeling anything about Cooper. Now, with Jim’s memory so distant, she’d forgotten his smell or even what it’d felt like waking up to him holding her. Where did that currently leave her status with Cooper? How many lovers had he left hating him all over the globe?

On the floor beside him was an empty plate. Did this mean he had liked her pork chops?

She put her hands to her yet-again flaming cheeks.

What was wrong with her? Why was her mind constantly in the gutter? Regardless of whether Cooper had eaten her chops or suddenly declared her the most fascinating woman in the world, the fact remained that he was her brother-in-law. Period. End of discussion.

“How about you turn off your game, brush your teeth and let me tuck you in.”

“Mo-om...”

“Wrong answer. How about
yes, ma’am?
”

“Yes, ma’am. Just let me save.”

Cooper stirred. “Sorry...didn’t mean to drift off on you, bud. Did you get through Raptor Valley?”

Cheetah hopped down, only to vanish beneath J.J.’s bed.

All Millie could think was,
How come I don’t look that hot when first waking?

“Not yet, and Mom won’t let me stay up.”

Laughing, Cooper said, “When I was your age, I never wanted to sleep. Now that’s all I want to do.”

Fanning herself, Millie couldn’t help but smile and nod. “True.”

“Yeah, but you two are
really
old.” J.J. turned off his game.

“I forgot.” On his feet, Cooper stretched, which made him seem even larger beside her. He stood six-two. She knew, because Jim had been six foot even and complained about his big brother being taller.

“Your dinner was tasty.” Cooper knelt to pick up his plate.

“Thanks.” With her mouth curiously dry, Millie licked her lips. “Glad you liked it. The recipe was new.” What in the world had possessed her to tag on that last bit?

“I liked the fennel.”

What was she supposed to do with her hands? “You know about fennel?”

“In Pakistan, the locals roast it and chew it after dinner.”

J.J.’s eyes widened. “You’ve been to Pakistan?”

“Sure have.” Cooper fished his phone from his pocket and a moment later showed his nephew pictures of snow-capped mountains and an exotic-looking white building. “The temple is in Karachi. My friends and I were there looking for a bad guy.”

“
Whoa...
That’s cool! Did you find him?” J.J. asked.

“Sure did.”

“Did you shoot him?”

“J.J.!” Millie gripped her son’s shoulders, aiming him toward the bathroom. “Brush your teeth.”

“Yes, ma’am...” If he pouted any harder, his bottom lip would touch the back porch stairs.

“Sorry about that,” Millie said with her son out of earshot. “He’s the product of too many video games.”

“It’s all right.” With his phone back in his pocket, Cooper’s usual unreadable expression had slipped back into place. “He’s a good kid.”

“Thanks.” Curiosity ate away at her—not to mention the fact that she craved hearing more of his story. Was there anywhere he hadn’t been? Was he mostly working when he traveled, or did he often get a chance to do tourist things like he had in Pompeii? “Well? What did you do with the bad guy?”

The faint smile he cast in her direction ignited fireflies in her stomach.

“If I told you, I’d have to kill you.”

Now her eyes widened. “It’s
that
bad?”

He laughed. “I’m kidding. Honestly, I’m not sure what happened. After my team and I caught him, CIA spooks took over from there.”

“Sounds dangerous.” Millie nibbled her lower lip. While his stories fascinated her, she didn’t like thinking of him in peril. Which was why she next blurted, “How many times have you been shot at?”

Wincing, he said, “More than I’d like to remember.”

“Which means? Five? Ten? A hundred?”

He sat on the edge of J.J.’s bed. “For the most part, SEALs like to be phantoms—in and out of a place before anyone even knows we’ve been there. Every so often, plans go to shit—pardon my French—and then all hell breaks loose. Couldn’t give you any hard facts on how often it happens. It’s just part of the job.”

“Getting shot at doesn’t bother you?”

He shrugged. “Haven’t much thought about it.”

“But you could die...” And all of a sudden, that knowledge trampled the lightning bugs dancing in her tummy.

“Don’t take this personally, but honestly? Since losing Mom, and then Jim—” he bowed his head, gripping the plate hard enough for his knuckles to whiten “—I haven’t had all that much reason to live.”

Chapter Ten

Cooper normally wasn’t so chatty, and he sure as hell didn’t know what’d possessed him to start up now.

“I—I’m sorry you feel that way.”

“Is what it is,” he said in his most matter-of-fact tone.

J.J. bounded into the room, dive-bombing the bed so hard that Cooper damn near lost his balance.

“Slow down, mister. I’m guessing your mom would rather tuck you in the bed, than scrape you off the wall.”

The kid thought about that for a second, then busted out laughing. “
Eeeew, gross! My pillow would be all full of guts and stuff!”

“J.J.!” Millie scolded. “Settle down and get under the covers.”

What was up with that? Her always being so uptight with her kids? Had his mom been that way? Or had it been so long since her death that he couldn’t remember standard operating procedure when it came to parenting?

When Millie approached her son, Cooper’s senses went haywire. Only because he’d been so long without a woman, he found every inch of her attractive, from the way she smelled like the daffodils he used to pick out on the old Walker homestead to the faint rasp in her voice.

His nephew had scrambled under the covers. Minty-smelling toothpaste clung to the corners of his grin. “Can Uncle Cooper read me a story and tuck me in?”

“Honey, let’s not bother him. He’s—”

“I’d love to, bud. What do you want me to read?” While J.J. practically bounced from the bed to the bookshelf, Cooper tried deciphering Millie’s dour look and failed. They used to be friends, but now he wasn’t sure where they stood. He knew she didn’t want him getting close to her kids, but even he could tell his nephew was desperate for a father figure. Jim had been gone a while. Had she ever thought of remarrying?

The thought of her hooking up with some random guy down at Mack’s bar didn’t sit so well.

“You about done?” Cooper asked.

“How about this one?” The human ball of energy was back in bed, tugging the quilts to his chin. “It’s my favorite!”

“Captain Underpants?”

“It’s really awesome,” J.J. assured him.

Cooper looked to Millie for her endorsement.

She nodded. “It’s a little out there, but all in good fun.”

“Well, in that case...” Cooper couldn’t resist giving J.J. a few tickles to his ribs, which sent the kid into a fit of giggles. “Let’s start reading. This place could use some fun.”

*

F
UN
.

An hour later, soaking up to her neck in the tub’s steaming water, Millie tried focusing on what’d been the sweet sound of her son’s laughter, as opposed to the man causing J.J.’s smile. Cooper had been spot-on about there having been no fun in the house for a good, long while, but what was she supposed to do about it?

Ever since Clint’s stroke, there was so much work that even when Peg had been staying with them, Millie never felt caught up enough to indulge in lighthearted banter with her kids. Lately, it seemed like all she ever did was harp.

Brush your teeth. Do your homework and chores.

Far from being the fun, vibrant mom she’d always intended to be, most days she felt like an old biddy, constantly nagging.

How was it that Cooper hadn’t even been in residence a week, and yet he was already the popular parent—and he wasn’t even a parent, but an uncle!

It wasn’t fair.

A knock on the bathroom door startled her. “Mill?”

She crossed her legs and covered her breasts with her hands. Her nipples instantly hardened. Damn, Cooper. “Wh-what?”

“Dad’s hungry. What should I give him?”

A tranquilizer dart!

The moment the hateful thought struck, she tamped it out. What precious private time she found, she treasured, but she didn’t have to take her annoyance at this intrusion out on poor Clint.

“Um... There’s pudding in Tupperware tubs on the second shelf in the fridge.”

“Thanks.”

The hall floor was creaky, and she didn’t hear him leaving. But then to be fair, she hadn’t heard him approach. If he was still standing there, what was he doing? Was he as hot and bothered about her nakedness as she was? That pathetically thin door and a hundred-year-old skeleton-key lock were the only things keeping them apart. Well—those, and the fact that he was her brother-in-law, for heaven’s sake!

“Mill?” he asked in a muffled tone.

“Y-yes?” Why had her breath hitched? Why did her breasts ache?

“Thanks again for dinner. You make a mean chop.”

Before she could tell him he was welcome, the telltale creaky plank floor told her he’d already headed for the stairs.

Meanwhile, his praise for her cooking ignited a slow-burning fuse that led straight to an old-fashioned powder keg of irrational excitement.

What was wrong with her? Why did she feel like she’d gone back in time to their high school chemistry lab where, instead of focusing on her experiments, she’d studied the way the sun had perpetually tanned his neck? Back then, she and Jim had been friends, but not yet
more.

Cooper didn’t know it, but one of the biggest reasons she’d fallen for his brother was because of the time Jim had saved her from certain humiliation almost brought on by his big brother. She’d just worked up the courage to ask him to their school’s annual Sadie Hawkin’s dance when Jim strongly hinted that Cooper was hoping Bethany asked him. Sure enough, the two had not only gone together, but ended up dating for a couple months. If Millie had asked Cooper to the dance and he’d turned her down, she’d have been mortified. Millie had never forgotten Jim’s act of kindness in giving her a head’s-up regarding his brother’s affections, even though years later, he’d admitted his reasoning hadn’t been entirely altruistic since he’d wanted her to ask him to the dance! She had, and that first date had blossomed into a warm fulfillment that’d made her bone-deep content for all the years of their marriage.

Yeah?
So what’s got you so discontented now?

Millie scowled.

How come every time she saw Cooper, her mind dove straight to the gutter? Like back to that kiss.

Eyes closed, she couldn’t help wondering what it would be like if he’d kissed her intentionally instead of just by accident? And then what if that accidental kissing had led to his becoming all rough and ready, dragging her across his truck seat to straddle him? And what if she’d been wearing a tank top, cowboy boots and her favorite long prairie skirt that just happened to hitch up? Exposing her bare thighs? And if she’d had on her good white-lace panties and her soft inner thighs rubbed against Cooper’s rough, sun-faded jeans? He’d press his fingers into the back of her head, pulling her to him for a kiss that left her dizzy-punch-drunk and gasping. And then he’d rake his lips lower, down her throat and collarbone, all the while grazing his hands lower, too, until they weren’t just on her lower back, but easing under her panties where her butt met the backs of her thighs.

He’d give her a teasing squeeze, and the erotic jolt might damn near make her faint.
“Darlin’, you trying to do me in?”

She’d giggle—no, deliver a sultry vixen laugh.
“Yessir. Is my scandalous plan workin’?”

He’d groan, slipping those roving fingers of his—

Eyes wide open, splashing upright, Millie was mortified to find that she’d slid her fingers perilously close to giving herself a happy ending!

First thing in the morning, she’d start seeing about hiring an extra hand—just until Clint was back on his feet. Because for her own sanity, Cooper needed to go.

*

“I
D
-
DON
’
T
WANT
it fr-from y-you!”

Cooper forced a deep breath. “Seeing how Saint Millie’s upstairs in the tub, I’m your only choice in nurses. Now, you going to be a cantankerous old mule, or hush up and eat the damned pudding?”

Clint growled.

“I feel the same, Dad, but—” Tears stung Cooper’s eyes. Frustration balled inside him, manifesting in him smacking the heel of his hand against the door frame.

His old man reared back in shock or maybe just surprise. Regardless, in that moment, he looked so frail that shame cloaked Cooper in sadness. How much time had been lost on this grudge?

“I h-h-hate you!”

“I know, Dad.” Instead of moving away from his father, he moved closer. And then he pulled his too-thin frame into a hug.

At first, Clint fought him, but then the old man fell limp, and then with what little strength he had, he hugged back. Even immediately after his mom’s death, Cooper had never heard his father cry, but he did now. The sobs were ugly and heartbreaking, yet strangely cleansing.

The harder Clint cried, the closer Cooper held him. And remembered the good times. And was so very grateful they weren’t too late to start over.

“I’m sorry,” he said.

His father issued his own garbled apology, and even though anyone else listening might not have understood, Cooper did. The sentiment meant the world to him, as he’d been waiting a decade for not only his father’s forgiveness, but also to come home.

Only Millie had made it clear this was no longer his home, but hers.

*

“D
ID
YOU
FIND
the pudding?” Millie stood outside the still-steamy bathroom, holding a towel sarong-style around her breasts. She thought Cooper had still been downstairs, which was why she’d thought it safe to make a dash for her bedroom. Wrong.

“Sure did.” His eyes were red. And teary. Had he been crying?

In the moment, his strangely sad expression trumped her awkwardness over her state of undress. “Everything okay?”

Though he nodded, she couldn’t have said she believed him.

“Clint let you feed him without any complaining?”

His lips curved into a ghostly smile. “I wouldn’t go that far, but yeah... He got the whole cup down.”

“Great...” She shivered. Water droplets evaporated between her shoulder blades, but that didn’t cool the heat pooling low in her belly. One look at Cooper’s lips brought her all-too-rich fantasy of the two of them roaring to life. If she hadn’t needed her hands to hold up her towel, she’d have clasped her flaming cheeks. “I should probably get dressed.”

“Sure.” He stepped aside, but she tried anticipating his direction and failed.

“Sorry,” she said when they collided, wishing her every nerve didn’t tingle with an exhilarating rush. Was she losing her mind? This was Cooper of all people. “I’m just gonna...”

They sidestepped each other two more times before she’d almost managed to reach the safety of her room.

“Hey,” he said before she had the chance to step all the way in and close the door. “Mind if we talk a sec—that is, once you...” He gestured toward her electrified body, which only reminded her of her fantasy and how good his rough fingers had felt gliding along her—

No.
Talking to him, looking at him, thinking about him was totally out of the question. “Sorry, but I’m really tired. In the morning—we’ll talk then. Okay?”

He looked crestfallen. “Sure.”

What did he even want to talk about? Cattle? J.J.? His father? What if it’d been something important?

“Good night.”

“’Night.” Her mouth went dry. Was he feeling odd, too? This curious sense of confusion whenever they shared the same space? “Cooper?”

“Yeah?” He’d turned away but now looked back. When their gazes locked, the air thickened, making it hard to think or breathe.

“Was it anything important?”

He shook his head. “Nothing that can’t wait.”

“Okay, well...” Why wouldn’t her legs move? She wanted to stay here on her room’s threshold with him, but also didn’t. Her traitorous imagination just kept replaying him leaning in for a kiss. “Good night.”

His eyes narrowed. “We’ve already been through that.”

“Right.” Beyond flustered, she bolted all the way into her room, shut the door and threw herself across the foot of her bed. What was wrong with her? She was a mom. A caregiver. A widow.

She was far too sensible for crushes, and even if she did have one, Cooper was the last man on earth she’d be attracted to—well, scratch that. Any woman in her right mind would be
attracted
to him, but that was different. She wasn’t talking about something as shallow as finding him
hot.

Then what are you talking about?
her conscience nudged.

Even more to the point, what was she fantasizing about? Because her vision of him—
them
—had crossed every sane person’s acceptable behavior boundary.

*

C
OME
FIRST
LIGHT
, Cooper downed black coffee and instant oatmeal, checked on his dad to find him lightly snoring then fixed a bottle for the calf before shrugging on his brother’s coat and heading out to the barn.

“Hey, fella...” he said to the little guy who stood in his pen, excited to see him—as opposed to the wide-eyed, startled-doe look he typically got from Millie. “Hungry?”

Cooper removed his gloves, resting them on the lip of a feed bucket. He liked the feel of the calf’s warm, breathy snorts against his palm. He’d forgotten the simple pleasures of being in the barn when the sun rises. The way dust motes swirled in the sunbeams piercing through holes in the wood-plank walls. The rich scents of hay and leather. The sound of a light breeze whistling high in the rafters.

He took a deep breath, slowly exhaling.

“Had a big night,” he said to his bovine pal. “Not sure how, but Dad and I turned a corner.” He’d wanted so badly to share the miracle with Millie, but as usual, she’d treated him like a pariah.

What was she doing now?

Still snoozing until time to wake her kiddos? Or standing at the kitchen counter, looking sleepy-pretty in her fluffy pink robe? Lord, she’d grown into a fine-looking woman.

“Wanna hear a confession?” he asked the greedily suckling calf. “Yeah? Okay, well, true story—I’m a sucker for a woman in the morning.” Messy hair and smudged mascara only heightened his pleasure. “I’ve always been a little jealous of my married friends.” They were the lucky ones, waking up alongside their beauties every day—at least when they weren’t out on missions.