The Cowboy SEAL (16 page)

Cooper laughed.

Since it wasn’t a sound she heard often, Millie relished the moment.

“It’s good seeing him up. His physical therapist said he should be walking under his own steam with just a cane by the end of the month.”

“Thank goodness. His mood sure has improved since he’s not always stuck in bed.”

“Can you blame him?” Cooper sat at the table. The same table Millie still couldn’t look at without blushing. “This is off topic, but I know you plan on culling the herd in the next month or two, and I did some research and found a company that does live internet auctions. That saves the stress on our stock of having to travel—except to their new home.”

“Okay...” Since her pregnancy test had turned out positive, Millie hadn’t even thought about the auction. But she needed to. The bills wouldn’t pay themselves.

“Want me to set something up?”

“For when?” Because to her, culling the herd was synonymous with Cooper leaving.

“I was thinking about this time next month. That sound all right to you? Dad should be well enough to drive his four-wheeler by then. Plus, I’ll move the rest of the herd to the north pasture. It’s the closest and has easy access.”

She only nodded, because she wasn’t capable of more. So this was it? He had his escape plan in place and was good to go?

“If you think that’s too soon, say the word and we can put it off. But my CO’s wanting me back on base, and I’m sure you and the kids are ready to get the house back to yourselves.”

Tell him!
“Yep. You’ve got that right.”

“Then I’ll set everything up. You won’t have to do anything but cash the check.”

And raise our child and nurse my broken heart.

*

C
OOPER
KNEW
HE
was chewing Easter ham, but it tasted more like cardboard than brown-sugar glaze and cloves. He didn’t fault the cook, but his own dour mood.

It didn’t matter that the sun was shining and the temperature was T-shirt warm. Or that seated around this table was all of the family he had left in the world. Clint, Millie, J.J. and LeeAnn. His longtime friends Lynette and Zane. Even their closest neighbor, Mack, and his new bride, Wilma.

With his dad well on the way to a full recovery, all should’ve been right in Cooper’s world. Even the calf he’d rescued had been weaned and now fit right in with the rest of the herd. Life should’ve been good. So how come ever since his talk with Millie about the cattle auction, he’d gotten the impression that she’d just as soon spit on him than look at him?

“Millie, d-dear, you d-did a fine job, but I’d like to say an ex-tra blessing.” Though shaky, with Peg’s help, Clint stood. His words spilled too fast and slurred, but he was unrecognizable from the broken man he’d been when Cooper had first arrived. “Th-thank you, Lord, for r-restoring my health, and f-for bringing home my son. A-men.”

“Amen,” all assembled said in unison.

Last year at this time, Cooper had been en route to Afghanistan. Back then, he never would’ve dreamed he’d hear his dad actually thank God for his being there, but now that he had, the thought of once again leaving brought on a mixed bag of emotions.

More than anything, he wanted to leave, but not for a logical reason. The truth was that the emotional bonds he’d formed with Millie and her kids and renewed with his father were still too fragile and new to trust. Were they even real? Now that Clint’s crisis had passed, would he morph back into the belligerent son of a bitch he’d been when he kicked Cooper off the family land?

“Uncle Cooper, look! I’m a walrus!” J.J. held a couple of asparagus
tusks
to his mouth.

Cooper feigned lurching back in fright. “You’re scary, bud. Don’t bite me.”

J.J. growled and chomped until Millie scolded him to mind his manners.

After the meal, while the kids played with Nerf guns the Easter bunny had brought along with too much chocolate, Peg, Wilma and Lynette talked about
The Young and the Restless,
and Clint, Zane and Mack recalled their favorite elk-hunting stories.

Cooper excused himself from the crowd, finding Millie on the front porch swing. “Care for company?”

She scooted over.

“You were awfully quiet at dinner.”

“I could say the same about you.”

“I s’pose.” A soft, warm breeze rustled the tree leaves and tall grasses at the yard’s edge.

Their thighs and hips and shoulders touched on the cramped swing. The resulting hum of attraction made it hard for him to think. Couldn’t she feel it, too?

After a few minutes of shared silence, Millie asked, “Does it look like Zane has lost weight to you?”

“Yeah. He’s looking good.” Their morning workouts were paying off so well that a couple of their other old high school friends were following what Zane called his SEAL Sessions.

“Coop?” She angled to face him. “What do you think about kids?”

“You mean your kids, or kids in general?”

“In general.”

He furrowed his forehead. “Well, the couples I know with babies always look exhausted, and the ones with school-age kids don’t fare much better. I shudder to think how much trouble teens would be. The whole parenting thing sounds like a nightmare—not that J.J. and Lee aren’t great, because they are. But with them, you and Jim already did the heavy lifting. I imagine starting from scratch would be a bitch.”

She winced.

“I’m not sure how you and Jim did it.”

“Yeah... It was rough.” Her complexion paled.

“What’s with the questions? Someone you know expecting?”

Chapter Sixteen

That night, Millie sat on her bedroom’s window seat, munching Oreos and trying to read, only her eyes didn’t see to focus through tears.

Could Cooper have made himself any more clear? He didn’t want a baby. And she just happened to be having his. Where did that leave her? What was she supposed to do?

She’d come close to confiding in Lynette and Peg, but couldn’t. If her past pregnancies were any indication, by this time next month, she’d already be showing. She could play it off as a stress-eating weight gain for a little while, but eventually, the truth was literally going to pop out.

Millie put down her book to pace, but someone knocked on her closed door.

“Come in,” she said, expecting LeeAnn or J.J.

“Hey.” Cooper popped his head through the open door. “You decent?”

“Why wouldn’t I be?”

“You never know. You being one of those quiet, good-girl types, your closet might be filled with male strippers.” The fact that he said this with a straight face made her blood boil.

“Why are you here?”
Standing at my bedroom door, in my house, in my state?

“Since your light was still on, I wanted to tell you how much I enjoyed your potato salad.”

“My
potato salad?
” This whole conversation struck her as absurd.
I’m pregnant with your baby!
she wanted to scream. Instead, she demurely swept flyaway curls back into her ponytail. “Want the recipe?”

He furrowed his eyebrows. “What would I do with that? You know I don’t cook.”

“Just like you don’t do kids?” The statement was petty and beneath her. So why had she said it? Maybe because she wanted so desperately to tell him about their baby, but was so afraid he’d have a negative reaction that she didn’t dare.

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“Nothing. I’m sorry.”

“No—you said it, so explain it.” He shut the door, in the process, stealing all the oxygen from the room. It didn’t matter that the night was warm and her window was open to a light breeze. He stood there larger than life, making her heart and mind spin like a child’s top.

“I was referring to the comments you made when we were out on the porch swing. You made it plain you have no desire to be a father.”

“So what? Why would that affect you?” Great question. One she had a very good answer for.
Tell him!

“It doesn’t, all right? Sorry I said anything.”

Eyes narrowed, he asked, “What’s going on with you, Mill? I thought we were in a good place. Am I missing something?”

Only everything!
“I’m really tired. Do we have to do this now?”

“As far as I’m concerned, we don’t have to do it ever. After the auction, I’ll be gone. Your life will be back to normal, just as if I’d never even been here.”

Only he had. And even though his time with them had been short, she remembered everything. Living with the chickens in the kitchen and bathing their newborn calf. The accidental kiss in the Red Lobster parking lot. Sharing intimate family moments like their special Valentine’s Day breakfast. Being part of Clint’s battle to regain his faculties. The wondrous chicken coop he’d built. Memories upon memories dulled her focus. She needed to remain strong in her resolve to not make him feel trapped into staying. If they were to ever share a true relationship based upon mutual love and respect, he had to come to her of his own free will—not a sense of obligation.

*

T
UESDAY
, C
OOPER
SAT
at the end of the old pond dock he and Jim had built with their father back when they’d both been in grade school. The day was fine with endless blue sky and a dazzling front range view.

He’d set up Clint in an outdoor canvas chair, handing him an already-baited, old-school cane pole that allowed for minimum work and maximum relaxation.

“I never thought I’d fish a-again....”

“I’m glad you’re okay. You gave me a scare.”

His dad grunted. “I scared m-myself.”

The spring-fed pond’s surface was glassy, giving them a clear view of the rocky bottom. The warm weather had brought out mayflies that flew in lazy patterns, every so often gliding too close to the water, only to then become fish food.

“I’ve missed this,” Cooper said after dropping his own line in the water. There was so much left unsaid between them, but Clint had never been a big talker. Maybe it was a guy thing, but most of Cooper’s favorite times with his father had been when they were alone, somehow speaking volumes without saying anything at all.

“You g-gonna marry her?”

“Huh?” Where had that come from? “You talking about Millie?”

His old man nodded. “Sh-she’s a good g-girl.”

“I think so, too, but that doesn’t mean I’d marry her. Where in the world would you get an idea like that?” A beauty of a rainbow trout nibbled at his line, but darted away.

“S-seen you two t-together. Look g-good.”

“Thanks, but that doesn’t mean we’re marriage material.” Bedroom material? That was a whole other story. They might’ve only shared one night, but it’d been beyond hot. What he wouldn’t give to try again—only this time in a proper bed.

“Th-think about it.”

“I will,” Cooper said, “but don’t you think that’d be a little odd? Me picking up where Jim left off?”

“Sh-she needs a good man. Th-that’s what you have b-become.”

Cooper’s eyes stung.

How long had he craved hearing exactly that from his father? But when it came to the chemistry he shared with Millie, her opinion was the only one that mattered. Lately, they’d gotten along about as well as a pillowcase filled with wet cats. He didn’t know what he’d done to piss her off, but apparently, it must’ve been major.

*

“W
AIT
—
COULD
YOU
please say that again? I’m sure I didn’t hear you right. There’s probably a bad connection.” Friday afternoon, Millie stood in the kitchen on the phone with the principal of LeeAnn’s school, glaring at her gorgeous chicken coop, wishing anyone but Cooper had built it for her. That way, she wouldn’t have to think nice things about him every time she gathered eggs.

“Mrs. Hansen, your daughter was caught in a compromising situation with a fellow student. We have rules against this, and she’s received a week’s worth of afterschool detention. Because she rides the bus, that means you’ll need to pick her up each day.”

Holding her free hand to her suddenly pounding forehead, Millie forced a deep breath. “You must be mistaken. LeeAnn doesn’t even talk to boys. I’ll of course leave right away to pick her up, but this just can’t be right.”

“I realize news of this nature must be difficult to hear, Mrs. Hansen, but our security guard has video footage. Your daughter’s identity is unmistakable.”

After hanging up, Millie was so scattered, she couldn’t even find her keys.

“What’s up?” Cooper asked when she continued her search in the office. He sat at the computer, answering emails.

Clint napped in a nearby armchair with his feet up on the matching ottoman.

“I just got the craziest call from LeeAnn’s school, and it has me rattled. The principal said she was caught in a compromising position with a boy. What does that even mean?” She looked under a magazine pile with no luck. “LeeAnn doesn’t even talk to boys, but he said they’ve got video proof. Anyway, I have to get over to the school to pick her up and get this whole thing straightened out.”

“Go w-with her,” a groggy Clint barked from his corner.

Millie shook her head. “Cooper, you should stay here in case your father needs anything. Plus, someone needs to be here when J.J. gets home.”

“
I
can w-watch him,” Clint said. “Not
in-val-id.
”

“I know,” she said to her father-in-law, “but if you’re watching J.J., who’s going to watch you?”

“She makes a good point.” Cooper shut down the desktop unit.

“G-go w-with her,” Clint insisted. “M-Millie too up-set to d-drive.”

“Mill?” Cooper asked from his perch on the edge of the desk. “What do you think?”

She pressed her fingers to her pounding temples. Though she’d never needed Cooper more, in light of her pregnancy, she didn’t want to lean on him. She needed to be strong enough that when he left, she felt capable of carrying on. That said, he wasn’t gone yet. Would it be so awful to accept his help one last time?

“All right,” she finally answered, but mostly because she feared that without another adult present, if it turned out her precious baby girl truly had done what the principal accused her of, then Millie just might lose what little remained of her cool.

*

S
EATED
IN
THE
principal’s office alongside Cooper, never had Millie been more grateful for his presence. He’d been a rock for her on the long trip into town, repeatedly assuring her everything would be okay until she’d almost believed he was right.

But that had been before Principal Conroy turned his computer monitor around so they could all see the alleged event.

The more that unfolded onscreen, the more LeeAnn kissed some boy Millie had never even seen, then laughed and thrust out her rapidly developing breasts, the sicker Millie grew.

Acting on autopilot, she reached to Cooper for support, clasping his hand and appreciating his hearty squeeze of hers.

“Mrs. Hansen, I understand you’re upset, but I’ll need you to sign this document, stating that you’ve seen the evidence and accept LeeAnn’s punishment.”

“Of course...” Her hand shook so badly, that she had trouble writing her name.

“I can tell this is a shock to you, but sadly, it’s not as uncommon as you might think. Now, I’m not suggesting there’s a problem in your home, but I know LeeAnn lost her father at an impressionable age, which can sometimes lead to this sort of reaching out for male attention. The statistics on teen pregnancy are sobering, so you’ll want to do everything you can to nip this behavior—”

“Stop right there,” Cooper said. “LeeAnn kissed a boy. I think we’re a bit premature in declaring her a teenage mom.”

While Cooper waged battle on her daughter’s behalf, Millie couldn’t help but think how ironic it was that she would soon become an unwed mother.

“I’m sorry you feel that way,” the principal said in regard to one of Cooper’s comments. Millie had been so deep into her own thoughts, she hadn’t paid attention to the growing rift between the two men. “Mrs. Hansen, LeeAnn must be present in afterschool detention each day next week or face expulsion. You’ll be able to pick her up promptly at four thirty-five.”

*

C
OOPER
LED
THE
two ladies in his life to the truck.

They hadn’t even had time to put their seat belts on when Millie lit into her daughter. “What do you think you were doing? You’re too young for kissing—let alone, kissing at school.”

Her daughter had the gall to roll her eyes. “God, Mom, I’m almost twelve.”

“Yeah, well, if you plan on making it to the ripe old age of thirteen, you’d better cut that sass.”

Cooper reversed out of their parking spot and headed home.

“You’re so lame,” LeeAnn fired back. “Uncle Cooper knew I made out with Damon, and he didn’t care.”

Cooper tightened his grip on the wheel. Did his niece seriously just rat him out?

“What?”
Millie swung her attention back to him. “Is that true?”

“Yes and no. It’s complicated, and she promised she’d never do it again.”

“She
promised?
Lee’s eleven! Didn’t you ever lie to your parents to get out of trouble? Only, that’s right, you’re not her parent, are you?”

“No...” Because Millie was understandably upset, he’d give her a pass on scolding him. He was more pissed at himself and his niece.

“Then if you caught my daughter doing something she shouldn’t have been, why didn’t you tell me?”

“Truth? I wanted her to like me.”

Millie covered her face with her hands. “A parent doesn’t have that luxury, Cooper.”

“Guys, please stop fighting.” LeeAnn had started crying, but Cooper suspected they were crocodile tears. “Mom, Uncle Cooper did yell at me when he caught me in the hall kissing Damon.”

“When?” Millie inquired.

“The night of the science fair. Damon asked me to be his girlfriend, and said I had to kiss him.”

“Cooper,” Millie asked, “from the start, tell me what you know that I don’t.”

He sighed while zigzagging through traffic. “Look, that night, when we separated to find the kids, I stumbled across Lee and this punk. They were kissing, and I told her quite clearly to knock it off. She promised she’d never do it again. End of story.”

“See, Mom?” LeeAnn braced her arms over the extended cab’s front seat. “He didn’t even care.”

Millie snapped, “Sit back and put on your seat belt.”

“Oh—I cared, all right,” Cooper said to LeeAnn. “The only reason I didn’t tell your mom was because she’s already stressed enough. If you’d held up your end of the bargain, no one ever needed to know.”

“Now you’re stooping so low as to bargain with an eleven-year-old?”

“It wasn’t like that,” he said. Only seeing the incident now through Millie’s eyes, he saw that it was. If he’d practiced full disclosure back in February, they wouldn’t be fighting now. “I told her to stop, and never kiss again.”

“Sure.” Millie crossed her arms. “That makes about as much sense as if your father had told you to never drink again after you’d run down your mother. How could I be so stupid as to think you’re even half the man your brother was? Jim might not have been flashy, but he was good. He knew better than to turn a blind eye to an eleven-year-old making out!”

On that dirty note, Cooper whipped her truck onto the busy highway’s shoulder and killed the engine. “Did you honestly just go there? What happened with my mom has nothing to do with this. But you know what, Mill? If due to my lack of expert parental judgment, you’re uncomfortable with me being around your kids, I’ll be happy to take off first thing in the morning—that is, assuming you’re okay with a screwup like me staying the night?”