The Cowboy Lawman (14 page)

Before walking away, he patted her neck and she turned to slobber oats on his arm. He brushed his sleeve and walked out the gate. Mia met him outside the back door. She’d changed into sweats and a T-shirt. An overnight bag was sitting on the patio next to her.

“I’m sorry.” She picked up the duffel bag and he took it from her. “I pushed. I don’t know why. We’ve always been friends, Slade. I don’t want to lose that.”

“Neither do I.”

“I know that what I said hurt. I don’t want to hurt you. I don’t want to push you away.”

“You aren’t hurting me or pushing me away. I guess you’re making me think and maybe I wasn’t ready to think.”

“Let’s just let it go.”

“I’m not sure if I want to.” He surprised himself with the words. “I’m not sure what I want, but I know I’ve been happier the last few weeks than I’ve been in a long, long time.”

“I don’t know if I can deal with the guilt.”

“Because Vicki was your friend?” He rested his hand on her arm. “She isn’t coming back. I’ve had to deal with that reality every single day for five years. You’ve been running from it.”

Mia shook her head and tears filled her eyes. “Don’t.”

“You have to. You have to cry and let her go.”

“It isn’t that easy.”

“I think I know that.”

Mia blinked fast and focused somewhere off to his left. “I catch myself sometimes thinking that when I come home she’ll be here. Or I want to call her and tell her what’s happening in my life.”

“I know.”

“Being gone made it easier to believe she was still here.”

And then she was in his arms. He hugged her tight, fisting his hands in her dark hair as he held her against his shoulder.

Mia sobbed into his neck—huge, racking sobs. Her tears soaked his shirt. Her body heaved as she let go. He held her tight and tried to make sense of how they would go on from here.

“I’m sorry.” She finally stopped crying and just held tight to him and he held her back.

“You needed a good cry.”

“Says the man who always feels rock-solid.”

“I’ve had my moments.”

“I’ve had more in the last two months than I’ve had my whole life. I remember crying when I was a kid and then realizing no one paid attention to my tears.”

Another peek into her life, her childhood. He thought about God looking down on that little girl and knowing the perfect home, the place where she’d be loved and heard.

He thought about the past five years of his life. He guessed God had been looking down on him, too. He didn’t know how to fit Mia into thoughts of God knowing what he needed.

Complicated.
The word that fit everything about Mia Cooper. It even described the way he felt about her.

Chapter Fourteen

M
ia walked up the sidewalk to the elementary school on Thursday, feeling very much like someone who didn’t belong. But she knew how to play a role. She’d been doing it all her life. She’d played the role of mother, taking care of her siblings. She’d played at being a daughter, at being a Cooper, until it finally fit and became who she was. And in her job she had played so many different people she’d lost track.

So today she could wear this skirt and blouse. She could carry the cupcakes she and Caleb had made with Granny Myrna. She could be the class mom. For Caleb, because he needed someone to fill that role.

But she didn’t fit. She looked around at the other moms. She knew most of them. She’d gone to school with them. She’d been friends with a few.

They weren’t pretending. They were wives and moms. They knew how to bake. They knew how to be social and talk to one another.

Mia walked through the front door of the school and started down the hall. A woman yelled for her to stop. Mia turned, smiling, thinking the woman wanted to say hello. The lady looked anything but happy.

“You have to sign in and get a visitor’s pass,” the security monitor announced in a loud voice. Everyone turned to stare at Mia with her box of cupcakes.

“Oh, I’m sorry.” She should have known that. She smiled at the few women around her.

A woman with curly brown hair came to her rescue. “Mia Cooper?”

“Um, yes?” Mia studied the pixie face with green eyes hidden behind thick glasses. “Cindy?”

“Yes, now Cindy Holder. Remember me, from Ag class?”

“Yes, of course.” Mia glanced at the angry office worker who still waited, clipboard in hand. Hopefully she didn’t have a Taser. “I have to sign in.”

“Of course.” Cindy walked her over to the office. “Who are the cupcakes for?”

“Caleb McKennon. He’s in kindergarten.”

“Oh, of course. I can take them down,” Cindy offered with a good-natured smile.

“Um, actually, no.” Mia held tight in case someone did try to take them from her. She’d worked hard on those cupcakes. She and Caleb had thrown frosting at each other and eaten the cupcakes that didn’t pass the test. “I told Caleb I’d bring them and stay for the party.”

“Oh, room mom?” Cindy turned a little pink. “I mean...”

“It’s okay. He just wanted me to come to the party.”

“Of course.” Cindy placed an easy hand on her arm. “I’m so glad you’re in town. How long are you staying?”

Mia signed her name on the clipboard and got her visitor’s pass. She smiled at the hall monitor who was just doing her job to keep kids safe.

“Do you know where the kindergarten class is?”

“This way.” Cindy started down the hall and Mia caught up. “I’m actually going that way myself. My little girl is in kindergarten. And she just loves Caleb.”

“I’ll bet she does. He’s going to be a cutie when he grows up.”

They reached the classroom with fall leaves decorating the doorway. Cindy motioned Mia through the door. She could do this. She could be the “mom” for an hour. For Caleb. She could smile at the other moms and pretend she watched daytime television. She could pretend she knew all about slow-cooker recipes and freezer meals.

She smiled, wondering how they would feel if she talked about her average day. DNA samples, synthetic marijuana, bath salts that didn’t go in a tub of water and knowing if an apartment was wired with explosives.

Out of her depth. Yes, cupcakes, homerooms and construction-paper fall leaves—definitely unfamiliar territory.

She put the cupcakes decorated in autumn orange, brown and red on the table with the other treats. Cindy said something about people they went to school with and Mia should come talk to them. She nodded but she stood frozen in the center of the room.

Maybe she wasn’t as good at playing a role as she thought.

“Mia!” Caleb ran across the room and jumped at her. She picked him up, holding him in her left arm, her right hand on his arm.

“Hey, buddy, I brought our cupcakes.”

“They’re going to be the best.” He slipped to the ground and told her he had to get back in line for a game. She watched him go, smiling at his energy and exuberance.

He was all Vicki. He had her smile, her joy and her energy. But he had Slade’s love of adventure.

Mia waited on the sidelines, watching as the other moms started placing treats on the table and filling cups with an orange drink. As a Cooper she knew this role. She offered to help. The moms looked at her funny, because they knew she didn’t belong.

Cindy came to her rescue. “Do you want to put out the paper plates, one on each desk? And a napkin to go with each plate.”

“Thank you. Yes.”

She took the stack of plates and napkins and started around the room. The other women watched, sometimes sneaking a word or two when they thought she wasn’t watching. She kept smiling because this was for Caleb.

From the corner where he stood with the other children, Caleb grinned at her as he blew bubbles through a large hoop. The little boy next to him asked if Mia was his mom. He grinned and nodded. Mia nearly corrected him, because she didn’t want him to lie. She didn’t want him to need her that much.

She would never fill Vicki’s shoes. She would never be the person who felt comfortable in this room with these women, passing out cupcakes and talking about the latest episode of their favorite afternoon talk show.

She had shot a man. She’d held her partner while he died. She definitely wasn’t anyone’s mom.

If she had any sense at all, she would leave. She should make an excuse and tell Caleb she had to go take care of something, anything that would get her out of here.

Behind her Caleb shouted in victory. She turned and watched him jump through the hoop. He shouldn’t have. She knew it the minute she saw him take the leap.

He fell face-first on the tile floor. For a second everything stood still. He didn’t cry. No one moved. And then he stood and turned around and the kids all screamed.

Mia hurried forward. “Caleb, buddy, hold still.”

Someone pushed napkins into her hand. She held them to his nose and his eyes started to water. She leaned in close and told him it had to hurt and it was okay to cry. But he didn’t cry. He shook his head no and blinked fast.

Cry. She wanted to tell him to cry, to let it out and not hold it in. But there were kids and parents surrounding them. She shifted him into her shoulder and he wrapped his arms around her and buried his face.

“It’s okay to cry,” she whispered again. “Sometimes I cry.”

He nodded into her shoulder.

“Should we take him down to the nurse?” Cindy pulled a chair up and placed it behind Mia. “Here, have a seat. It’s child-sized, but better than squatting on the floor.”

“Thanks. And I think he’s going to be fine.” She kept the pressure on his nose and told him to breathe through his mouth if he could.

Another mom brought an ice pack. She placed it on his nose and touched Mia’s shoulder. “You’re doing great.”

No, she was just playing a role. Caleb didn’t belong to her. She held on to him and she wanted to cry, too.

* * *

Slade walked through the door of the classroom into crazy kid drama. Little girls started to shout and they were all telling him a story, all at once, making it impossible to understand. Across the room he saw Mia’s dark head and Caleb’s blond head against her shoulder.

“He fell,” Cindy Holder explained as he crossed the room to his son and Mia. “He won the bubble-blowing contest and before we could stop him he decided to show everyone he could go through the hoop like the bubbles.”

“And he couldn’t.” Slade smiled at the spirit of his son. Caleb would always believe he could.

“Exactly. Face-first on the floor.” Cindy laughed just a little. “But Mia handled it.”

He nodded and his gaze landed on Mia cradling his son, handling things. She was holding his little boy, whispering comforting things in his ear and cleaning his face. Slade had a whole mess of tangled-up feelings that he didn’t want to deal with at the moment.

He squatted next to the chair Mia sat in and put his hand on Caleb’s back. He guessed he was hoping that Caleb would climb into his lap. Instead, his son turned to look at him, but he stayed planted on Mia’s lap. Slade didn’t much blame him, but it hurt a little. He was used to Caleb turning to him for comfort.

“How are you, Cay?” He put a finger under his son’s bruised chin and examined his swollen nose. “You’re going to have a shiner.”

“What’s a shiner?” Caleb asked on a sob.

“Black eyes, because I think your nose is broken.”

Caleb’s eyes got big and teared up. “Can you fix it?”

“I can’t, but a doctor can. Looks like we need a trip to the emergency room. Your first, but probably not your last.”

“I should have stopped him.” Mia looked about ready to cry, too.

“Mia, things happen. Kids get hurt.”

“Not on my watch.” She held Caleb a little tighter and his son groaned.

“Maybe don’t squeeze the air out of him.”

She loosened her hold. “Oh, I’m sorry, Cay. I’m really sorry. I’m not good at this...”

She looked at Slade and he thought he knew what she’d been about to say. She wasn’t good at being a mom. But she looked like a natural to him. It just wasn’t a role she had planned on filling.

“Party’s over, Cay. Time to go see if Dr. Jesse is at the clinic.”

“Is Mia going?” Caleb held tight to her neck and Slade looked at her, letting her give the answer.

“Of course I’ll go.” She stood with Slade’s son still in her arms.

“Does this mean I don’t get a cupcake?” Caleb held his arms out to Slade and Slade had to admit, it eased his heart a little that his kid still wanted him.

“I’ll get you a cupcake.” Mia started to walk away from them but Cindy Holder had heard and was already packing up treats for Caleb.

The other moms watched with interest and then the teacher regained control of the situation and found jobs for everyone, jobs that didn’t include putting Slade and his son in the middle of whatever drama they were all cooking up in their minds.

He started for the door and Mia caught up with them.

Fifteen minutes later they were sitting in the emergency room waiting for Jesse Cooper to finish with a patient who had more serious injuries. They had tried the clinic in Dawson but Jesse had been called to the hospital, leaving just a receptionist at the clinic that sat next to the Dawson Community Center.

“Mr. and Mrs. McKennon with Caleb.” The woman standing in the doorway that led to the emergency room looked at her clipboard and then glanced around the room, smiling at them.

“Mr. McKennon,” Mia corrected quickly and as Slade stood, she didn’t make a move to join him.

He grinned at her, winking and loving that her cheeks turned pink beneath her tanned skin. “Come on,
Mrs. McKennon,
I think Caleb wants you back there with him.”

Caleb nodded over his shoulder and Slade waited, watching Mia and wondering what crazy emotions he saw flickering in her dark brown eyes. If he had to guess, he’d probably go with the one that came to him first. She was thinking about running. This was getting too close, too involved.

“Mia.”

She stood and followed them back to the cubicle the nurse led them to. A few minutes later Dr. Jesse Cooper walked through the curtain, pushing it aside as he looked at the chart in his hands. When he saw Mia, he stopped and looked from her to Slade to Caleb, then back to his sister.

“I didn’t expect to see you.” He didn’t wait for her to answer. “Let’s put Caleb on the table here so I can get a good look at that nose.”

Slade set his son on the paper-covered examining table. Jesse leaned Caleb’s head back, looked close, sighed. “Caleb, this is going to hurt just a little, but I promise if you hang tight, it won’t last long and Mia makes a pretty mean hot dog if you ask her real nice.”

Mia mumbled something, but Caleb laughed so she smiled and let it go. Slade watched as Jesse touched and maneuvered his son’s nose.

“It’s cracked.” Jesse finished his examination. “It isn’t too bad. We’ll fix him up in just a few minutes and Mia can make him that hot dog.”

“You’re very funny.” Mia spoke in quick Spanish to her brother and Jesse laughed.

“Hey, that’s Spanish.” Caleb’s voice sounded a little nasal now.

“Yes, it is.” Mia glared at Jesse. He said something again to her in Spanish.

Slade called a time-out. “Do you two think you could refrain from arguing in Spanish? It kind of makes a guy think you’re talking about him.”

Mia mouthed, “Sorry,” and then she smiled at Caleb. “I can teach you Spanish if you’d like.”

Caleb nodded. “Can I say something about a broken nose in Spanish? The kids would think that’s cool.”

“I think we can manage that.”

“Do you really make good hot dogs?” His eyes narrowed. “’Cause I thought hot dogs were all the same.”

“Jesse was teasing me because he knows I’m not a good cook.”

“You made good cupcakes,” Caleb offered.

“Thanks, Caleb.”

A nurse brought in a clipboard with paperwork for Slade while Jesse taped Caleb’s nose. Slade glanced at his son, who had reached for Mia’s hand, holding tight.

“There you go, Caleb.” Jesse held up a mirror. “Two black eyes, a cracked nose and a pretty skinned-up chin. Do you think maybe you shouldn’t jump through a hoop again?”

Caleb grinned. “Next time I do, I won’t fall.”

Jesse laughed and Slade shook his head. “That’s my son.”

“Now can we have hot dogs?” Caleb took Jesse’s hand as he hopped down from the table.

“Sorry about that,” Jesse apologized and looked at his watch. “Got to go. You all have a good dinner. And Mia, I’ll be by in a day or two.”

“Sounds good.” Mia held out her hand to Caleb. “Let’s go have hot dogs at Vera’s. Your dad’s buying. And then you can have that cupcake for dessert.”

“Shouldn’t I get the cupcake now?” Caleb asked as they walked out of the room, leaving Slade with Jesse. “Because I broke my nose.”

“I think you have a point. Let’s go get that cupcake.”

Slade shook his head and handed the clipboard back to Jesse.