Authors: Bonnie Vanak
Soon she had a fire burning merrily on the stone hearth and two steaks sizzling on the gas grill outside. He sat up, looking around with interest. Sienna went to the couch, gently pushing him back into a prone position.
“Now it’s your turn to rest. Stay there.”
“Just a quick nap.”
He closed his eyes.
The image sharpened into focus. Adam, hanging by the Hummer, one hand resting against the tough exterior. Joy exploded through him. His buddy was back. Matt laughed and punched his arm. “You sly Wildcat. We thought you were dead. Should have known nothing could take you down. You’re too damn stubborn.”
The jaguar slapped the vehicle. “It’s like you, Dakota. Tough and built to take the pressure. But even a Hummer can explode under the right circumstances. Let go, Matt. It’s time to let me go. You can’t hold on forever. It was meant to be.”
His best friend leaned a shoulder against the vehicle, giving his cocky smile. “Hang tough, but don’t hang on forever. I’m gone, and I’m never coming back.”
Then the smile faded, replaced by a solemn look. Adam shimmered like sunlight hitting water, a glistening, crystalline figure. “You know that bullet was meant for me. I saw it.”
“Wait,” Matt begged hoarsely. “Come back. I have to tell you…”
Adam vanished like a light snapping off.
Sweat dripped down his temples, dampening the microfiber beneath his cheek. Matt’s eyes flew open. He rubbed his face and sat up, heart pounding against his chest.
Never coming back.
A delicious smell of grilled meat teased his nostrils. Matt glanced up at the adjoining kitchen. Sienna hummed a little as she set out plates and glasses on the table, along with an etched-glass bowl filled with greens. Next she carried inside two thick steaks on a platter.
“Dinner’s ready.”
So pretty, so cheerful and upbeat. Her face flushed a pretty shade of pink from the heat of the grill. She’d changed into a turquoise-blue sweater. Her toes peeped out from beneath the hem of her faded blue jeans. She’d painted her toenails a matching turquoise blue. He grinned, admiring them.
Blue toes. Very unconventional. Very Sienna.
“The steaks are for you.” She gestured to the salad. “I’m sticking with grass.”
The meat was grilled just right, barely seared over an open flame, tender and delicious. He dug with zest into both steaks, concentrating on the meal, but aware of her picking at the salad. Odd. She’d consumed meat with zest when they were together, but here in her cabin she seemed adverse to it.
Sienna looked up, her gaze suddenly clouded with emotion. “The Fae look down on eating meat.”
A loud protesting rumble came from her stomach.
“Yet you’re still hungry.” He cut a piece of beef, placed it on her plate. “Eat it. You need your strength.”
Sienna gulped it down and wiped the plate with a napkin, throwing it out. Disposing of evidence.
Matt gathered the plates, dumped them into the sink and began washing. Keeping his thoughts to himself, silent and guarded.
“You mentioned his name when you were sleeping.” Sienna picked up a towel, dried the plates and put them into a cabinet. “Adam.”
A glass shattered beneath his clenched fist. Shards flew into the air. Sienna cried out, grabbed his wrist. Blood streamed from his palm.
She picked out a few shards, wrapped his hand. But the wounds had already stopped bleeding and would soon heal.
Not so the jagged wound in his heart, ripped open by the constant guilt.
She studied him with a thoughtful look. “You never had a chance to say goodbye. That’s it, isn’t it?”
“Part of it.”
“Would you like to talk to him again?”
A short, bitter laugh. “Unless your magick conjures the dead, that’s impossible.”
“It doesn’t. But I can glamour myself to appear as him, so you can talk to him.”
Was that hope making his pulse race? A second chance. Release the awful pressure sitting on his chest since that terrible day.
“I can see it on your eyes, Matt. You can’t let him go. Please let me do this for you.”
Never had he felt this vulnerable. Didn’t like it. But the sincerity shining on her face, twinned with the tender concern, shot past his defenses. She wanted to help.
He knew the damages guilt could inflict. If he were to carry out this mission, he needed to be sharp and alert. Regret was too distracting.
“I need to go for a walk.” He threw down the dish towel. “Be back in a few.”
Hurt flashed onto her face. Matt cupped her chin with a gentle hand. “Thank you for your offer.”
The back sliding door closed firmly behind him. On the patio, two hummingbird feeders hung from a rafter, along with a hand-painted sign proclaiming Peace to All Who Enter Here.
Peace. Nice concept. Not with a passel of nasty demons who’d love to fry his ass. And Sienna’s, as an added bonus.
Not on my watch.
He clenched his fists, and began a short run up the pathway that wended through the mountain.
Stalks of yellowed grass crunched beneath his boots. Jagged boulders edged the mountain, and the wind blew through pine and aspen trees. Matt ran upward, relishing the feel of his powerful muscles, the rhythm of his heartbeat. This was familiar. This was good, comfortable.
Her voice soothed and stirred his blood. A rush of protectiveness overwhelmed him as he thought of dark forces preying on her. Then again… He grinned, remembering how she’d stood up to the Darksider Fae with such courage, and jammed her elbow into his stomach.
Beneath all that soft female skin and delicate bone structure beat the heart of a true warrior.
He ran a good two miles up the mountain. Not wanting to leave her alone for long, he backed up when an odd scent floated on the wind. He was a creature of nature, and wolf instincts surged. Matt stopped, surveying the mountain below him.
The faint scent of wolf drifted up from the dead grass. Scent of a powerful Alpha who’d placed his marking scent on this mountain. Matt crouched down, splaying his hand over the dirt path. Not Draicon like him, but not animal, either. Very odd. Almost like a hybrid.
The wolf inside him snarled with possessive intent. Matt unzipped his jeans. He erased the foreign scent by covering it with his own. Marking his territory.
She’s mine. Stay away.
The message was clear.
He zipped up, bothered by these intense feelings more than the old scent.
When he returned to the cabin, Sienna was sitting by the fire, staring into the flames. Firelight cast her hair into burnished shades of amber, drawing her face into shadow. She glanced up, uncertainty in her eyes. He felt a twinge of real regret. He’d shut her out, and felt the distance as if a giant chasm yawned between them.
She was right. If he didn’t get this out of his system, it would eat him alive. And he wanted the peace she offered him.
“All right,” he agreed. “Let’s do it.”
She released a deep breath. “I’ll need a photo of Adam.”
They sat on the sofa. Matt dug a worn photo from his leather wallet. He and another man dressed in battle gear faced the camera. One wore a wide grin as he held his gun aloft. Adam. He showed it to her.
“All evidence of Adam’s existence as a SEAL was destroyed. I was allowed to keep one small memento.”
Sienna took his hand, her small palm warm. He wanted the comfort she offered, needed it, but damn, he couldn’t do this. Had to be strong. A tightness settled in his chest. He felt bottled up and wanted to scream.
The palm holding his hand turned larger, stronger and calloused. Matt looked up and recoiled.
Dressed in his BDUs, hefting his gun in that cocky way of his, Adam sat beside him. Matt jerked his hand away.
“Never were the touchy-feely type, were you, Dakota?”
It was Adam’s rasping voice, Adam’s Midwestern twang. He rubbed his eyes, knowing the illusion was a gift.
This was so tough. What did you say to a buddy who sacrificed his life for yours? A SEAL who left behind a grieving widow who thought he died in a car crash because no one had any memory of him as a SEAL?
Except me and the team.
“Wildcat. Damn, you look good for a dead guy.”
Adam sat silently, cocking his head exactly as the photo depicted.
Matt couldn’t look at him. He stared at the carpet instead. Then he sensed the magick shimmer a little. Sienna couldn’t hold the illusion long. So he gathered all his courage.
“I miss you, man. I miss you so much. I miss your stupid jokes, the way you mocked me for being so serious.” Matt gulped down a deep breath.
“How you always watched my six. You were solid. I never trusted anyone like I trusted you, Wildcat. Not even my family. We were tight. I don’t understand why you kept it a secret what was going to happen? You knew, damn it. You knew what we headed into. It was a suicide mission! Gods, you knew one of us was going to die and you never told me. I’ve been thinking and thinking about why you insisted on riding up top and then I realized, it was because you knew what would happen. That’s why you insisted on riding up top. You took the hit and took away the choice from me!”
He slammed a fist into his thigh, feeling his chest constrict. “There’s not a day that’s gone by that I haven’t questioned why you were killed and I was left alive. Not a day when I regret what happened to you. Why you did it, when you had Tatiana to live for and I had no one. I guess I just have to accept that you did it for a reason. And I’m not meant to know that reason. Not now.”
Grief roughened his voice. It poured out of him in a tidal wave of emotion he couldn’t hold back.
“Thank you, Wildcat, for what you did for me, for all those you saved, for all you did for your country. Miss you, man. You’ll always be here—” he touched his chest “—and I’ll never forget you. The world has, but I never will. Until we meet again, on the Other Side.”
Adam’s form began to shimmer. Matt pushed on, knowing he had to get this out. Say it now before he lost his nerve.
“Another thing, Wildcat. You always teased that the teams were everything to me. Being a SEAL meant more to me than anything else. Even a woman.” He smiled a little, remembering Adam’s mocking grin. “It was. But I’ve met someone now. And I understand why you had to have Tatiana. Why you took that risk and fell. I’ve fallen, too. It feels like I’ve taken a HALO jump without a chute, but funny thing, I’m not afraid.”
Tears glistened in Adam’s eyes. Matt never took his gaze off his friend. “Sienna’s gotten to me. She’s special. You once joked that I’d take a hit for the team, but if a woman tried to spend the whole night, I’d be outta there faster than an insurgent facing an army of SEALs. Not anymore. I’d bleed for her. I’ll do anything to keep her safe. She makes me crazy and happy at the same time. I love seeing her smile, love the way she wakes up, with that sexy little smile that makes me tumble off that cliff all over again. I’d do anything to make her happy, give her the moon and the stars.”
He paused, a lump rising in his throat. “I’d give up my life for her, if it came to that.”
Adam’s form shimmered and disappeared. Sienna stared at him, eyes luminous with unshed tears. She cupped his cheek. He turned into her touch, relishing the softness of her palm.
“You’re amazing, Lieutenant Matthew Parker. You have the true heart of a hero. Thank you for everything.” Sienna’s mouth wobbled. “For everything you did, and everything you said. Because you have the courage to say it aloud, what I’m feeling, as well.”
He kissed her. In gratitude partly, but the man in him longed to taste the softness of her wet mouth, chase away tears with pleasure. Matt framed her face with his hands. Keeping the kiss gentle and unhurried, not wanting to startle her. Accustoming her to his touch, breaking down her natural apprehension.
She made a humming sound of pleasure and leaned into him. Beneath the light pressure of his lips, she opened her mouth.
The invitation was there. He plunged on, drinking in the sweetness, tasting everything that was this exotic, sensual Fae-Draicon who’d freed him from a prison of guilt. She was warm and delicious and he wanted to savor her, but the need became hot and pulsing.
When she shyly reached up to toy with his hair, he deepened the kiss. As whisper soft as his mouth had been, it became firm and commanding as he sought to teach her true pleasure. Sienna arched her body as his hands spanned her rib cage. Her breasts were full and lush, and fit perfectly into his palms. Matt gently thumbed her nipples, feeling them harden. Hearing her excited whimper, he kept ravishing her mouth. Loving the sounds she made, catching the surging scent of her arousal. It was heady and spicy and tunneled straight to his cock. He hardened to granite, his body responding to the sweetness of the woman in his arms.
Mercy.
No mercy.
The wolf in him clawed to the surface, demanding and urgent. He was caught in the maelstrom, his feelings spiraling free. He needed Sienna, wanted her so badly he shook from the need.
A growl tore from his throat.
Panting, Sienna pulled away. His body was painfully hard, sexual need sharp as glass. The sounds of their ragged breathing filled the cabin, mingling with the crackling flames in the hearth.
Her eyes were wide and clouded with passion, her mouth smudged and swollen from his passionate kisses. She was scared.
Immediately, he tried to reassure her. “It’s only natural, sweetheart.” He framed her face with his warm palms. “It’s an expression of my desire for you.”
“It’s your wolf coming out…Matt.”
“You can. I know it’s inside you. Don’t fight your nature, Sienna. Let the wolf inside you break free.”
“I don’t know if I can,” she whispered.
Chapter 13
M
att rubbed the back of his neck, struggling with his feelings. Her mouth tasted like ripe berries, soft and sweet against his. He wanted her badly. He couldn’t get enough of her. The twin ropes of desire and need coiled together like snakes, rubbing against each other. The raw eroticism of his wolf clawed to the surface, demanding to mate with her, mark her as his own.
He had to get out, break free, grab control.