The Cost of Commitment - KJ2 (41 page)

now. I married the woman I’d been in love with since my sophomore year in college. You were my hero then, and you still are today. Your strength and bravery give me courage. Your dignity, honor, and grace make me so proud. Your beauty takes my breath away.”

Jay squeezed Kate’s hands, kissing her tenderly on the mouth.

“Sweetheart, marrying you was the best thing I ever did. Every day of this past year I’ve given thanks to the universe for bringing you into my life, for allowing me to love, and be loved by, you.”

Lynn Ames

“Jamison Parker, you have made me the happiest woman in the world. Our wedding day will always be indelibly etched in my mind as a joyous occasion full of wonder, close friends, and gratitude. But, shell-shocked as I was, I couldn’t give you everything you deserved that day.”

“Kate, you gave me all I ever dreamed of—the chance to be your wife and to live the rest of my life with the woman I love more than all else.”

Kate shook her head. “I want to give you more.” She kissed the palms of Jay’s hands. “This place, this beach where I first proposed to you...I wish in some small way that we could turn back the clock to that morning—so ripe with innocence and love, before the tabloids changed the course of our lives forever.” Fresh tears stained her face.

“I know, love.”

Kate swallowed, trying to get a handle on her emotions. The psychologist she’d been working with had told her that feeling—really feeling—as uncomfortable as it might be, was a major step toward healing. To Kate, it was just disconcerting.

“I wanted to renew our vows in this magical spot, on our one-year anniversary, to symbolize a new beginning. I know this nightmare won’t truly be behind us until the trial is over, but I’m tired of waiting.” She reached into her jacket pocket, produced a small velvet box, and handed it to Jay.

“Wha...?”

“Jamison Parker, you make every minute of my life worth living. You bring me joy and happiness. You teach me how to love, and be loved, every single day. I have no idea what I would do without you, and I hope I never have to find out. I vow to love, honor, and cherish you all the days of my life. You are the best part of my heart and the other half of my soul—the answer to every prayer I have ever whispered. I love you, now and forever.”

Kate opened the box her lover held loosely in her fingers, slipped out a three-and-a-half carat diamond solitaire ring set in platinum, and slid it on Jay’s finger above her wedding ring.

“Oh my God, love.”

“Sweetheart, I know this seems kind of backward—after all, one usually gives the engagement ring before the wedding ring—but this ring is very special. It belonged to my mother. I put it away the day I buried her and couldn’t bring myself to look at it for many years.”

“It’s breathtaking.”

“Yes, it is, and so was she.” Kate looked into Jay’s eyes. “Until last year, I hadn’t celebrated Christmas since my parents’ deaths. I didn’t think I deserved to experience a joy that they never would again.”

“Oh, honey.”

The Cost of Commitment

“But you showed me that I was wrong. You gave me back something very precious—something I finally understand my parents would want me to have. Now every Christmas will be special—a day to give thanks for the time I had with them and to celebrate our marriage. This ring symbolized their love. I don’t think anything would make my mother happier than to see it symbolize ours. I love you, Jay, with everything that I am and everything that I want to be.”

Jay’s vision swam as tears filled her eyes. “Katherine Kyle, I never knew genuine, unconditional love until you came into my life. Like you, I never thought I deserved it. Perhaps we were destined to find each other—meant to belong together. You are my family, Kate. You make every day worth living and every night worth sharing. You are everything I could ever have dreamed of in a partner—a passionate, talented lover, a wise and compassionate friend, a beautiful soul.”

As she had on their wedding day, Jay repeated Kate’s words: “I vow to love, honor, and cherish you all the days of my life. You are the best part of my heart and the other half of my soul—the answer to every prayer I have ever whispered. I love you, now and forever.”

From inside her bra, Jay produced something shiny and placed it in her lover’s palm. “I wanted to give you something that would be as unique and special as you are. So I designed this necklace.”

Winking in Kate’s hand was a gorgeous diamond and gold necklace.

“Oh, Jay. This is magnificent.”

Jay reached around Kate and stood on her tiptoes to put the necklace on her.

“The diamonds were my grandmother’s. I always wished she had been my mother. She was kind and compassionate, and she taught me to strive to be more than I thought I could be. The shape, a crescent moon, symbolizes the beginning of our life together.”

“It’s a remarkable piece, baby. Incredible.”

“Just like you.” Jay moved into Kate’s arms, capturing her lips in a kiss equal parts love and wonder. “Happy anniversary, darling.”

“Merry Christmas, my love.”

January 3rd, 1989 dawned snowy and bitter cold in Wyoming County, New York, the county within which Attica was located. Kate, who had flown in from Washington that morning, huddled inside her overcoat. She and Jay had reluctantly returned from their anniversary trip to St. John the day before.

“Reality bites, honey.”

Kate laughed. “To what do I owe that profound bit of wisdom?”

Lynn Ames

Jay threw herself on the couch in their rented condo in Alexandria,
Virginia. “That was probably the last vacation we’re going to get for the
next eight years.”

“Pouting doesn’t become you, princess.” Kate leaned over and
pulled Jay’s lower lip into her mouth, savoring the taste.

“Mm. I’m serious here, love. It’s not that I mind being married to the
president-elect’s press secretary—actually, I think that’s kinda hot—but I
don’t want to share you with every reporter in the world.”

Kate sat down in the remaining space on the couch and pulled Jay
into her lap. “Honey, we both knew when the governor asked me to be
the spokesperson for his presidential election campaign that if he won,
I’d be going with him to Washington.”

“Yeah, but that was theoretical then, and I didn’t want you stepping
foot back in that DOCS hellhole.”

“Any more than I wanted to be there, either, sweetheart. Jay, if
you’re really serious, I’ll step away right now. There are still two and a
half weeks to the inauguration. Michael Vendetti reports to work for me
in a couple of days as my number-two guy—the president can promote
him to my spot.”

Jay shifted in Kate’s arms and looked at her incredulously. “You’re
serious? You’d walk away from the greatest PR job in the world just
because I wanted you to?”

“Yep.”

Jay made a choking sound.

“Jamison, you are the most important thing in my life. No job can
hold a candle to you. If it’s going to make you that unhappy, I won’t do
it.”

“Katherine Kyle, have I told you lately that you are the most amazing
person I have ever known?”

Kate pretended to think. “Hmm. No—no, I don’t seem to remember
hearing that.”

“Brat.” Jay punched her lightly in the arm. “That you would even
make such an offer is mind-boggling.”

“I’m serious about it, Jay.”

“I know you are, love. And that makes it all the more incredible.” Jay
kissed Kate passionately on the mouth.

“Um, before I forget how to think here, tell me what you want me to
do, Jay. Do you want to go back to Albany? I’m sure I can get something
in the private sector. It’s not like we don’t still have the house there. No
harm, no foul.”

“Shh. Stop, baby. I want you to be the greatest press secretary in the
history of the White House. I want to be married to the most sought
after—professionally, of course—woman in Washington.”

The Cost of Commitment

“Are you sure? The hours are going to be horrendous—worse than
anything we lived through at DOCS. And the traveling will take me away
often.”

“I know all that. I don’t care. Sweetheart, you were born for this job.

I am so, so very proud of you. We’ll make it work. It’s not like you
haven’t already been traveling all over the country with the campaign for
the last eleven months.”

“Yeah, but now I’ll be traveling all over the world.”

“Mm, sounds romantic.”

“Not without you there it won’t be.”

“Aw, you say the sweetest things. Honey, it’ll be fine. I’ll be able to
get away with you some of the time. Kate, this is a once-in-a-lifetime
opportunity. We’ve got our whole lives together in front of us. If you
don’t do this now, we’ll both regret it.”

“You’re really okay with this?”

“Really.” Jay brushed her lips along her lover’s jawbone. “But what
I’d really like right now is...” She undid the buttons on Kate’s shirt,
slipping her hands inside to cup smooth flesh. When her fingers closed
on sensitive nipples, Kate groaned.

“Does that feel good, sweetheart?”

“God, yes.”

Jay pulled the shirt from Kate’s jeans, kissing her way down the slope
of her neck to her shoulders, and below to her collarbones, as her hands
continued to make love to soft, creamy breasts. Using her leverage, she
pushed Kate onto her back, insinuating a leg between her thighs.

Kate cupped Jay’s buttocks with both hands, pulling her tighter
against her swollen center. “Too many clothes,” she panted. “We’ve got
to lose these clothes.”

Duly motivated, she managed to lift them both off the couch.

Unfortunately, the move unbalanced Jay, and she fell over backward.

“I’ve got you, sweetheart,” Kate said as she gripped her around the
waist, keeping her from hitting the floor by the merest of inches.

“I never doubted it,” Jay laughed, as Kate lowered her gently the rest
of the way. “Now get down here.”

“As you wish, ma’am. First, though...”

Within seconds they were both naked and Kate was lowering herself
slowly toward Jay’s hungry mouth. Keeping her arms out straight so that
only their mouths were touching, Kate teased Jay with her lips and
tongue.

Finally, unable to resist the temptation any longer, Jay arched her
hips up, bringing their mounds into contact. She ran her fingernails
lightly down Kate’s back, caressing her, urging her downward.

Lynn Ames

Kate responded by covering Jay’s body with her own, slick skin
sliding on slick skin. The feel of it made her shiver in anticipation.

Angling herself to the side, she ran her fingers gently down Jay’s
midsection, pausing at her hairline.

“I love you so much, Jay.”

“I love you, too, sweetheart.”

With reverence, Kate entered her, her fingers stroking, exploring,
electrifying. When she felt her teetering on the edge of orgasm, Kate
lowered her mouth to Jay’s clit, setting off shock waves so powerful she
almost lost her balance. She gathered Jay in her arms, caressing and
cooing, until her breathing returned to normal.

“You are the sexiest woman in world.” Jay slid a finger into Kate’s
wetness, withdrew it, and sucked the finger into her mouth. “And you
taste delicious.” She stared at Kate intently. “I need more of that.”

Jay lowered herself until her mouth was positioned over Kate’s
center. She breathed in the heady scent, ducked her head further, and ran
her tongue the length of Kate’s clitoris, closing her eyes to savor the
taste.

Kate cupped her head, urging her deeper. Jay responded, flattening
her tongue and increasing the pressure of her strokes while running her
hands up the insides of Kate’s thighs. The orgasm was accompanied by a
muffled cry, a deep shudder, and a whispered, “I love you, Jay.”

Eventually they made it to the bedroom, where they fell into a blissful
sleep wrapped tightly around each other.

Kate smiled at the memory as she hustled through the assembled reporters and into the courthouse for the trial of David Breathwaite and William Redfield. She was glad that she had convinced Jay not to come until later in the day. If this morning was any indication, the trial was destined to be a media circus. Although Kate had expected nothing less, the level of noise and the number of microphones being shoved at her left her feeling unsettled. The urge to bolt was almost overwhelming.

“Hey, cute stuff, fancy meeting you here.” Peter grabbed her by the elbow and shepherded her through the crowd and into the courtroom.

“Thanks, buddy, I owe you one.”

“Again,” he said, rolling his eyes. “Am I ever going to get to collect?”

“Eventually. Patience is a virtue, you know.”

“Yeah, yeah.” He looked at his best friend critically. “How are you doing, Kate? Are you okay with this?” With a sweeping gesture, he indicated the crowd, the trial, the setting, and her emotional state.

She shrugged. “There are plenty of places I’d rather be, believe me, but this is where I need to be.”

The Cost of Commitment

He raised an eyebrow at her.

“I need closure. I need to know that the bastards are going to pay for the lives they jeopardized—not just mine, but those three officers on the tier, the five on the roof, all of the CERT guys, you.”

“I know.” He squeezed her shoulder sympathetically.