The Complete Works of William Shakespeare In Plain and Simple English (Translated) (616 page)

But still I need to curse him. But they won’t pinch,
Fright me with urchin--shows, pitch me i' the mire,

Scare me with goblins, throw me in the mud,
Nor lead me, like a firebrand, in the dark

Or lead me, like a torch, into the dark
Out of my way, unless he bid 'em; but

Out of my way, unless he tell them to: but
For every trifle are they set upon me;

For every little thing they are set upon me;
Sometime like apes that mow and chatter at me

Sometimes like apes that grimace and chatter at me
And after bite me, then like hedgehogs which

And then bite me, and then like hedgehogs which
Lie tumbling in my barefoot way and mount

Like tumbling in the way of my bare get and jab

Their pricks at my footfall; sometime am I

Their pines at my foot steps; sometimes I am
All wound with adders who with cloven tongues

All wound up with snakes whose split tongues
Do hiss me into madness.

Hiss me into madness.

Enter TRINCULO

Lo, now, lo!

Look here, no!
Here comes a spirit of his, and to torment me

Here comes a spirit of his, and to torment me
For bringing wood in slowly. I'll fall flat;

For bring in the wood too slowly. I’ll fall flat on the ground;
Perchance he will not mind me.

Perhaps he won’t notice me.

TRINCULO

Here's neither bush nor shrub, to bear off

There’s not a bush or a shrub to keep off
any weather at all, and another storm brewing;

Any weather at all, and another storm is brewing;
I hear it sing i' the wind: yond same black

I hear it singing in the wind: that very same black
cloud, yond huge one, looks like a foul

Cloud, that huge one, looks like a dreadful
bombard that would shed his liquor. If it

Wine-jug that would drop its liquid. If it
should thunder as it did before, I know not

Should thunder like it did before, I don’t know
where to hide my head: yond same cloud cannot

Where to hide my head: that very same cloud cannot
choose but fall by pailfuls. What have we

Choose to fall in anything except buckets. What have we
here? a man or a fish? dead or alive? A fish:

Here? A man or a fish? Dead or alive? A fish:
he smells like a fish; a very ancient and fish-

He smells like a fish: a very ancient and fish-
like smell; a kind of not of the newest Poor-

Like smell; the kind from the less fresh dried
John. A strange fish! Were I in England now,

Fish. A strange fish! If I were in England now,
as once I was, and had but this fish painted,

As I once was, and had only this fish painted on a sign,
not a holiday fool there but would give a piece

Not a fool on vacation there who wouldn’t give me a
of silver: there would this monster make a

Silver coin: there this monster would make a man a fortune;
man; any strange beast there makes a man:

Any strange beast there makes a man a fortune:
when they will not give a doit to relieve a lame

When they won’t give a little coin to save a lame
beggar, they will lazy out ten to see a dead

Beggar, they will give out ten coins to see a dead
Indian. Legged like a man and his fins like

Indian. Legs like a man and his fins like
arms! Warm o' my troth! I do now let loose

Arms! He’s actually warm! I now let go of
my opinion; hold it no longer: this is no fish,

My opinions; and hold it no longer: this isn’t a fish
but an islander, that hath lately suffered by a

But an islander, who has recently collapsed form a
thunderbolt.

Thunderbolt.

Thunder

Alas, the storm is come again! my best way is to

Sadly, the storm is coming again! The best thing for me is to
creep under his gaberdine; there is no other

Crawl under his cloak; there is no other
shelter hereabouts: misery acquaints a man with

Shelter around here: misery meets with a man who has
strange bed-fellows. I will here shroud till the

Strange bedfellows. I will shelter here until the
dregs of the storm be past.

Worst of the storm has passed.

Enter STEPHANO, singing: a bottle in his hand

STEPHANO

I shall no more to sea, to sea,

I will go no more out to sea, out to sea,
Here shall I die ashore—

Here I will die on land--
This is a very scurvy tune to sing at a man's

This is a very wretched song to sing at a man’s
funeral: well, here's my comfort.

Funeral: well, here’s my consolation.

Drinks

Sings

The master, the swabber, the boatswain and I,

The master, the deckhand, the boatswain and I,
The gunner and his mate

The gunner and his friend
Loved Mall, Meg and Marian and Margery,

Loved Mall, Meg and Marian and Margery,
But none of us cared for Kate;

But none of us cared for Kate;
For she had a tongue with a tang,

Because she had a tongue with a sharp edge,
Would cry to a sailor, Go hang!

And would yell to a sailor, ‘Go hang yourself!’
She loved not the savour of tar nor of pitch,

She didn’t love the smell of tar or of pitch,
Yet a tailor might scratch her where'er she did itch:

But an unmanly tailor might scratch her where she itched:
Then to sea, boys, and let her go hang!

Then off to sea, boys, and let her go hang!
This is a scurvy tune too: but here's my comfort.

This is a wretched song too: but here’s my consolation.

Drinks

CALIBAN

Do not torment me: Oh!

Stop tormenting me: oh!

STEPHANO

What's the matter? Have we devils here? Do you put

What’s the matter? Do we have devils here? Do you cast
tricks upon's with savages and men of Ind, ha? I

Spells on us with savages and the men of India, ha? I
have not scaped drowning to be afeard now of your

Have not escaped drowning to be afraid now of your
four legs; for it hath been said, As proper a man as

Four legs; for it has been said, ‘As good of a man that
ever went on four legs cannot make him give ground;

Ever went on four legs cannot make him give up ground’;
and it shall be said so again while Stephano

And it will be said again while Stephano
breathes at's nostrils.

Breathes through his nostrils.

CALIBAN

The spirit torments me; Oh!

The spirit torments me: oh!

STEPHANO

This is some monster of the isle with four legs, who

This is some monster of the island with four legs, who
hath got, as I take it, an ague. Where the devil

Has got, as I think, a fever. How the devil
should he learn our language? I will give him some

Has he learned our language? I will give him some
relief, if it be but for that. if I can recover him

Relief, it only because of that. If I can heal him
and keep him tame and get to Naples with him, he's a

And keep him tame and get to Naples with him, he’s a
present for any emperor that ever trod on neat's leather.

Present fit for any emperor that’s ever walked on cow leather.

CALIBAN

Do not torment me, prithee; I'll bring my wood home faster.

Don’t torment me, please: I’ll bring the wood home faster.

STEPHANO

He's in his fit now and does not talk after the

He’s in a fit of convulsions from the fever now and doesn’t talk with
wisest. He shall taste of my bottle: if he have

Good sense. He’ll take a drink form my bottle: if he has
never drunk wine afore will go near to remove his

Never drunk wine before it will nearly take away his
fit. If I can recover him and keep him tame, I will

Convulsions. If I can heal him and keep him tame, they won’t
not take too much for him; he shall pay for him that

Be able to pay me enough for him; he will bring in enough money for the man
hath him, and that soundly.

That has him, and do it well.

CALIBAN

Thou dost me yet but little hurt; thou wilt anon, I

As of now you have done me little harm; but you will soon, I
know it by thy trembling: now Prosper works upon thee.

Can tell by your trembling: now Prospero is working his magic on you.

STEPHANO

Come on your ways; open your mouth; here is that

Come along; open your mouth; here is the drink
which will give language to you, cat: open your

That will make even you speak, cat: open your
mouth; this will shake your shaking, I can tell you,

Mouth; this will shake off your convulsions, I can tell you that,
and that soundly: you cannot tell who's your friend:

And it’ll do it well: you cannot tell who’s your friend:
open your chaps again.

Open you mouth again.

TRINCULO

I should know that voice: it should be--but he is

I know that voice: it is—but he’s
drowned; and these are devils: O defend me!

Drowned; and these are devils: Oh, help me!

STEPHANO

Four legs and two voices: a most delicate monster!

Four legs and two voices: a most delightful monster!
His forward voice now is to speak well of his

His frontward voice is for speaking well of his
friend; his backward voice is to utter foul speeches

Friend; and his backward voice is for speaking terrible remarks
and to detract. If all the wine in my bottle will

And to criticize. If all the wine in my bottle will
recover him, I will help his ague. Come. Amen! I

Heal him, I will get rid of his fever. Come on. Amen! I
will pour some in thy other mouth.

Will pour some of this in your other mouth.

TRINCULO

Stephano!

Stephano!

STEPHANO

Doth thy other mouth call me? Mercy, mercy! This is

Does you other mouth call my name? Mercy, mercy! This is
a devil, and no monster: I will leave him; I have no

A devil, not a monster: I will leave him be; I don’t have
long spoon.

A long spoon needed to feed a devil.

TRINCULO

Stephano! If thou beest Stephano, touch me and

Stephano! If you are Stephano, touch me and
speak to me: for I am Trinculo--be not afeard—thy

Speak to me: for I am Trinculo—don’t be afraid—your
good friend Trinculo.

Good friend Trinculo.

STEPHANO

If thou beest Trinculo, come forth: I'll pull thee

If you are Trinculo, come out: I’ll pull you
by the lesser legs: if any be Trinculo's legs,

By the smaller legs: if any are Trinculo’s legs,
these are they. Thou art very Trinculo indeed! How

Those ones are. You are really Trinculo, indeed! How
camest thou to be the siege of this moon-calf? Can

Did you come to be the dung of this monster? Can
he vent Trinculos?

He excrete Trinculos?