The Complete Works of William Shakespeare In Plain and Simple English (Translated) (548 page)

Measure his sorrow against the dimensions of mine,

And let it answer every strain for strain,

As thus for thus and such a grief for such,

As this way for this way and such a grief for such,

In every lineament, branch, shape, and form:

In every way, shape, and form:

If such a one will smile, and stroke his beard;

If a man like that will smile, and stroke his beard;

Bid sorrow wag, cry 'hem' when he should groan,

Tell sorrow to go, say ‘hem’ when he should wail,

Patch grief with proverbs; make misfortune drunk

Overcome his grief with proverbs

With candle-wasters; bring him yet to me,

Bring him to me,

And I of him will gather patience.

And I will take patience from him.

But there is no such man; for, brother, men

Can counsel and speak comfort to that grief

Which they themselves not feel; but, tasting it,

Their counsel turns to passion, which before

Their advice turns to emotion, which before

Would give preceptial medicine to rage,

Would give soothing medicine to rage,

Fetter strong madness in a silken thread,

Try to chain strong madness in a silken thread,

Charm ache with air and agony with words.

Magic away ache with air and agony with words.

No, no; 'tis all men's office to speak patience

No, no; all men are supposed to speak patience

To those that wring under the load of sorrow,

Those that struggle under the load of sorrow,

But no man's virtue nor sufficiency

But no man’s virtue can be enough

To be so moral when he shall endure

The like himself. Therefore give me no counsel:

The similar problem himself. Therefore give me no advice:

My griefs cry louder than advertisement.

I am in more grief than I show.

ANTONIO

Therein do men from children nothing differ.

Men are not different from children in that respect.

LEONATO

I pray thee peace! I will be flesh and blood;

Please, stop talking! I will be a human being;

For there was never yet philosopher

For there has never yet been a philosopher

That could endure the toothache patiently,

However they have writ the style of gods

No matter what godlike writings they have done

And made a push at chance and sufferance.

And talked about fortune and endurance..

ANTONIO

Yet bend not all the harm upon yourself;

Yet do not inflict all the harm on yourself;

Make those that do offend you suffer too.

LEONATO

There thou speak'st reason: nay, I will do so.

Now you’re being reasonable: indeed, I will do so.

 My soul doth tell me Hero is belied;

My soul tells me Hero has been lied about;

And that shall Claudio know; so shall the prince,

And all of them that thus dishonour her.

And all of them that dishonor her in that way.

ANTONIO

Here comes the prince and Claudio hastily.

The prince and Claudio are rushing here.

[Enter DON PEDRO and CLAUDIO.]

DON PEDRO

Good den, good den.

Good day, good day.

CLAUDIO

Good day to both of you.

LEONATO

Hear you, my lords,--

DON PEDRO

We have some haste, Leonato.

We are in a hurry, Leonato.

LEONATO

Some haste, my lord! well, fare you well, my lord:

Some hurry, my lord! Well, fare you well, my lord:

Are you so hasty now?--well, all is one.

Are you in such a hurry now? – Well, it is all the same to me.

DON PEDRO

Nay, do not quarrel with us, good old man.

ANTONIO

If he could right himself with quarrelling,

If he could make things right with quarrelling,

Some of us would lie low.

Some of us would be dead.

CLAUDIO

Who wrongs him?

LEONATO

Marry, thou dost wrong me; thou dissembler, thou.

By Mary, you wrong me; you liar, you.

Nay, never lay thy hand upon thy sword; I fear thee not.

No, never place your hand on your sword; I am not afraid of you.

CLAUDIO

Marry, beshrew my hand,

By Mary, I will hold my hand still,

If it should give your age such cause of fear.

If it should give your oldness a reason to fear.

In faith, my hand meant nothing to my sword.

LEONATO

Tush, tush, man! never fleer and jest at me:

Enough, enough, man! Do not run away and joke at me:

I speak not like a dotard nor a fool,

I am not talking like a senile old man or a fool,

As, under privilege of age, to brag

As, in the privilege of the elderly, to brag

What I have done being young, or what would do,

What I did when I was young, or what I would do,

Were I not old. Know, Claudio, to thy head,

If I were not old. Know, Claudio, to your head,

Thou hast so wrong'd mine innocent child and me

You have so wronged my innocent child and me

That I am forc'd to lay my reverence by,

That I am forced to put aside my dignity,

And, with grey hairs and bruise of many days,

And, with gray hairs and the marks of my years,

Do challenge thee to trial of a man.

Do challenge you to a duel.

I say thou hast belied mine innocent child:

I say you have lied about my innocent child:

Thy slander hath gone through and through her heart,

Your false accusation has gone through her heart,

And she lied buried with her ancestors;

O! in a tomb where never scandal slept,

Oh! In a tomb where scandal never slept,

Save this of hers, fram'd by thy villany!

Except for this one of hers, created by your villainy!

CLAUDIO

My villany?

LEONATO

Thine, Claudio; thine, I say.

Yours, Claudio; yours, I say.

DON PEDRO

You say not right, old man.

LEONATO

My lord, my lord, I'll prove it on his body, if he dare,

Despite his nice fence and his active practice,

Despite his good swordsmanship and his regular practicing,

His May of youth and bloom of lustihood.

His youthfulness and young energy.

CLAUDIO

Away! I will not have to do with you.

Go away! I will have nothing to do with you.

LEONATO

Canst thou so daff me?

Can you reject me like that?

Thou hast kill'd my child;

You have killed my child;

If thou kill'st me, boy, thou shalt kill a man.

If you kill me, boy, you shall kill a man.

ANTONIO

He shall kill two of us, and men indeed:

But that's no matter; let him kill one first:

Win me and wear me; let him answer me.

Fight against me; let him answer me.

Come, follow me, boy; come, sir boy, come, follow me.

 Sir boy, I'll whip you from your foining fence;

Sir boy, I’ll whip your skills out of you;

Nay, as I am a gentleman, I will.

LEONATO

Brother,--

ANTONIO

Content yourself. God knows I lov'd my niece;

Quiet. God knows I loved my niece;

And she is dead, slander'd to death by villains,

And she is dead, slandered to death by villains,

That dare as well answer a man indeed

That have as much daring to answer to a real man

As I dare take a serpent by the tongue.

As I dare to grab a snake by its tongue.

Boys, apes, braggarts, Jacks, milksops!

[A series of insults.]

LEONATO

Brother Antony,--

ANTONIO

Hold your content.

Quiet.

What, man! I know them, yea,

What, man! I know them, yes,

And what they weigh, even to the utmost scruple,

And what they are worth, even to the furthest virtue,

 Scambling, out-facing, fashion-monging boys,

[Another series of insults]

That lie and cog and flout, deprave and slander,

That lie and think and reject, do depraved things and wrongfully accuse,

Go antickly, show outward hideousness,

Do all sorts of antics, show outward hideousness,

And speak off half a dozen dangerous words,

How they might hurt their enemies, if they durst;

How they might hurt their enemies, if they dared;

And this is all!

LEONATO

But, brother Antony,--

ANTONIO

Come, 'tis no matter:

Come, it is no matter:

Do not you meddle, let me deal in this.

Do not meddle, let me deal with this.

DON PEDRO

Gentlemen both, we will not wake your patience.

Both of you gentlemen, we will not test your patience.

My heart is sorry for your daughter's death;

But, on my honour, she was charg'd with nothing

But on my honor, we charged her with nothing

But what was true and very full of proof.

But what was true and well proven.

LEONATO

My lord, my lord--

DON PEDRO

I will not hear you.

LEONATO

No? Come, brother, away. I will be heard.--

ANTONIO

And shall, or some of us will smart for it.

And shall, or some of us will suffer pain for it.

[Exeunt LEONATO and ANTONIO.]

[Enter BENEDICK.]

DON PEDRO

See, see; here comes the man we went to seek.

See, see; here comes the man we went to look for.

CLAUDIO

Now, signior, what news?

Now, sir, what’s happening?

BENEDICK

Good day, my lord.

DON PEDRO

Welcome, signior: you are almost come to part almost a fray.

Welcome, sir: you have almost managed to end what was almost a conflict.

CLAUDIO

We had like to have had our two noses snapped off with two old men without teeth.

We were likely to have had both our noses snapped off by two old men without teeth.

DON PEDRO

Leonato and his brother. What think'st thou? Had we fought, I doubt we should have been too young for them.

Leonato and his brother. What do you think? If we had fought, I doubt we would have turned out to be too young for them.

BENEDICK

In a false quarrel there is no true valour. I came to seek you both.

In a false quarrel there is no true courage. I came looking for both of you.

CLAUDIO

We have been up and down to seek thee; for we are high-proof melancholy, and would fain have it beaten away. Wilt thou use thy wit?

We have been up and down looking for you; for we are in terrible melancholy, and would like to have it beaten away. Will you say something witty?

BENEDICK

It is in my scabbard; shall I draw it?

My wit is in my scabbard; shall I pull it out?