The Complete Works of William Shakespeare In Plain and Simple English (Translated) (517 page)

as I am mine. If you think I am actually a lion,

were pity of my life: no I am no such thing; I am a

I would be ashamed: I am not, I am only

man as other men are;' and there indeed let him name

a man like these other men.” And then make him

his name, and tell them plainly he is Snug the joiner.

say plainly that he is Snug the joiner.

QUINCE

Well it shall be so. But there is two hard things;

Alright, that is all fine. Now there are two difficulties.

that is, to bring the moonlight into a chamber; for,

One is how to get the moonlight into the room, since

you know, Pyramus and Thisby meet by moonlight.

as you all know, Pyramus and Thisby meet beneath the moon.

SNOUT

Doth the moon shine that night we play our play?

Is there a full moon or a bright moon the night we are to perform?

BOTTOM

A calendar, a calendar! look in the almanac; find

Someone get a calendar or an almanac and find out

out moonshine, find out moonshine.

how the moon is shining that night.

QUINCE

Yes, it doth shine that night.

Yes, it is bright that night.

BOTTOM

Why, then may you leave a casement of the great

Well then all we have to do is leave open

chamber window, where we play, open, and the moon

the big window in the room where we play, and the moon

may shine in at the casement.

will shine into the room.

QUINCE

Ay; or else one must come in with a bush of thorns

Yes, that or someone could come in with a thornbush

and a lanthorn, and say he comes to disfigure, or to

and a lantern and explain that he is the representation

present, the person of Moonshine. Then, there is

of the character of Moonshine. Also, there is

another thing: we must have a wall in the great

another difficulty: we need a wall to put in the

chamber; for Pyramus and Thisby says the story, did

chamber room, since Pyramus and Thisby in the story

talk through the chink of a wall.

talk to each other through a hole in the wall.

SNOUT

You can never bring in a wall. What say you, Bottom?

We cannot bring in a wall. What do you think, Bottom?

BOTTOM

Some man or other must present Wall: and let him

Someone needs to play the Wall, then – we can give him

have some plaster, or some loam, or some rough-cast

some plaster or some clay or some gravel to put

about him, to signify wall; and let him hold his

on him so he looks like a wall, and he can hold

fingers thus, and through that cranny shall Pyramus

his fingers like this, and through that hole Pyramus

and Thisby whisper.

and Thisby can whisper.

QUINCE

If that may be, then all is well. Come, sit down,

If we can do that, then we are in good shape. Come and sit,

every mother's son, and rehearse your parts.

everyone, and rehearse your parts.

Pyramus, you begin: when you have spoken your

Pyramus, you first: after you have finished your

speech, enter into that brake: and so every one

speech go behind the bush, and everyone else, do the same thing

according to his cue.

when it is your cue to exit the stage.

Enter PUCK behind

PUCK

What hempen home-spuns have we swaggering here,

Who are these poorly clothed hicks prancing about

So near the cradle of the fairy queen?

So close to where the queen sleep?

What, a play toward! I'll be an auditor;

Oh so this is a play! I will be an audience member then,

An actor too, perhaps, if I see cause.

And perhaps an actor too, if I want.

QUINCE

Speak, Pyramus. Thisby, stand forth.

Speak now, Pyramus; Thisby, be ready.

BOTTOM

Thisby, the flowers of odious savours sweet,--

Thisby, these flowers of sweet, odious tastes--

QUINCE

Odours, odours.

Odors, not odious.

BOTTOM

--odours savours sweet:

--odors tastes sweet:

So hath thy breath, my dearest Thisby dear.

So does your breath, my dear Thisby.

But hark, a voice! stay thou but here awhile,

But listen, a voice! Wait here for a little

And by and by I will to thee appear.

And soon enough I will come back.

Exit

PUCK

A stranger Pyramus than e'er played here.

I have never seen a stranger Pyramus.

Exit

FLUTE

Must I speak now?

Do I go now?

QUINCE

Ay, marry, must you; for you must understand he goes

Yes, of course, now you speak. Know that at this point, he leaves

but to see a noise that he heard, and is to come again.

to check on a noise that he heard, and will then come back.

FLUTE

Most radiant Pyramus, most lily-white of hue,

Most beautiful Pyramus, as white as a lily,

Of colour like the red rose on triumphant brier,

As red as the rose on the rosebush,

Most brisky juvenal and eke most lovely Jew,

An energetic young man and a handsome Jew,

As true as truest horse that yet would never tire,

As dependable as the best horse that never gets tired,

I'll meet thee, Pyramus, at Ninny's tomb.

I’ll meet you, Pyramus, at Ninny’s tomb.

QUINCE

'Ninus' tomb,' man: why, you must not speak that

That’s “Ninus’ tomb,” Flute, and you aren’t supposed to say that

yet; that you answer to Pyramus: you speak all your

yet. That’s your response to Pyramus: first you say

part at once, cues and all Pyramus enter: your cue

your part, and after Pyramus enters again, your cue

is past; it is, 'never tire.'

passes at “never tire,” that is your last line before Pyramus speaks again.

FLUTE

O,--As true as truest horse, that yet would

I see -- As dependable as the best horse that

never tire.

never gets tired,

Re-enter PUCK, and BOTTOM with an ass's head

BOTTOM

If I were fair, Thisby, I were only thine.

If I were the most handsome man, Thisbuy, you would still be my one and only.

QUINCE

O monstrous! O strange! we are haunted. Pray,

How awful! How strange! We are being haunted! Everyone,

masters! fly, masters! Help!

pray and run away! Help!

Exeunt QUINCE, SNUG, FLUTE, SNOUT, and STARVELING

PUCK

I'll follow you, I'll lead you about a round,

I’ll follow you and lead you in a circle,

Through bog, through bush, through brake, through brier:

Through bogs and bushes, through thickets and thorns:

Sometime a horse I'll be, sometime a hound,

Sometimes I’ll be a horse, and sometimes a dog,

A hog, a headless bear, sometime a fire;

Sometimes a pig, or a headless bear, or a fire,

And neigh, and bark, and grunt, and roar, and burn,

And I will neigh, bark, grunt, roar and burn,

Like horse, hound, hog, bear, fire, at every turn.

Like each of those things to scare you common-folk.

Exit

BOTTOM

Why do they run away? this is a knavery of them to

Why are they running away? This is some mean joke

make me afeard.

they are doing to scare me.

Re-enter SNOUT

SNOUT

O Bottom, thou art changed! what do I see on thee?

Bottom, you have been turned into something else! What is this on your neck?

BOTTOM

What do you see? you see an asshead of your own, do

What are you talking about? You are acting like an ass.

you?

Exit SNOUT

Re-enter QUINCE

QUINCE

Bless thee, Bottom! bless thee! thou art

God bless you, Bottom! You have been

translated.

changed into something else!

Exit

BOTTOM

I see their knavery: this is to make an ass of me;

I see right through their joke. They are trying to make me a fool

to fright me, if they could. But I will not stir

and frighten me, but I will not leave

from this place, do what they can: I will walk up

here, no matter what they do to me. I will walk all

and down here, and I will sing, that they shall hear

around, and I will sing, and they will hear me and know

I am not afraid.

that I am not afraid.

Sings

The ousel cock so black of hue,

The blackbird, feathers so black,

With orange-tawny bill,

With a dark brown bill,

The throstle with his note so true,

The thrush with his pure song

The wren with little quill,--

And the wren with its small feathers--

TITANIA

[Awaking] What angel wakes me from my flowery bed?

Who is this waking me from my bed of flowers with the voice of an angel?

BOTTOM

[Sings]

The finch, the sparrow and the lark,

The finch, the sparrow, and the lark,

The plain-song cuckoo gray,

The gray cuckoo who sings a plain song,

Whose note full many a man doth mark,

Whose words many men hear

And dares not answer nay;--

And do not dare to say no to --

for, indeed, who would set his wit to so foolish

Because really, who would be rash enough to set himself agains such a silly

a bird? who would give a bird the lie, though he cry

bird? Who would so completely doubt the bird and think his cry

'cuckoo' never so?

that points out the cuckold is wrong?

TITANIA

I pray thee, gentle mortal, sing again:

Please, mortal human, sing again;

Mine ear is much enamour'd of thy note;

I love to hear your beautiful voice,

So is mine eye enthralled to thy shape;

And I love to look on your handsome shape.

And thy fair virtue's force perforce doth move me

All of your good qualities move me

On the first view to say, to swear, I love thee.

On first sight and they make me swear that I love you.

BOTTOM

Methinks, mistress, you should have little reason

Lady, I think you have very little reason

for that: and yet, to say the truth, reason and

for that. But on the other hand, truth, reason, and