The Complete Works of William Shakespeare In Plain and Simple English (Translated) (356 page)

ROSALIND

Ay, my liege, so please you give us leave.

Yes, my liege, and please allow us to watch.

DUKE FREDERICK

You will take little delight in it, I can tell you;

there is such odds in the man. In pity of the

challenger's youth I would fain dissuade him, but he

will not be entreated. Speak to him, ladies; see if

you can move him.

You will not enjoy it much, to be honest:

the odds are greatly against this young man. Out of sadness

for his youth, I have tried to persuade him against fighting, but he

will not listen. Ladies, speak to him and see if

you can get him to give up.

CELIA

Call him hither, good Monsieur Le Beau.

Call him to us, good Mister Le Beau.

DUKE FREDERICK

Do so: I'll not be by.

Yes, and I will leave you alone to talk.

LE BEAU

Monsieur the challenger, the princesses call for you.

Mister challenger, the princesses have called to talk to you.

ORLANDO

I attend them with all respect and duty.

I come to them with my respect and obedience.

ROSALIND

Young man, have you challenged Charles the wrestler?

Young man, have you really challenged Charles, the duke’s professional wrestler?

ORLANDO

No, fair princess; he is the general challenger: I

come but in, as others do, to try with him the

strength of my youth.

No, beautiful princess, he is the general challenger. I,

like many others, come up against him to test

my young strength.

CELIA

Young gentleman, your spirits are too bold for your

years. You have seen cruel proof of this man's

strength: if you saw yourself with your eyes or

knew yourself with your judgment, the fear of your

adventure would counsel you to a more equal

enterprise. We pray you, for your own sake, to

embrace your own safety and give over this attempt.

Young man, you are too bold for your

age. You have already seen the awful effects of this wrestler’s

strength. You need to look at yourself,

or know yourself honestly; then the proper fear

of this plan will teach you to look for

a less dangerous adventure. We beg you, for your sake,

do the safe thing and give up this attempt to fight.

ROSALIND

Do, young sir; your reputation shall not therefore

be misprised: we will make it our suit to the duke

that the wrestling might not go forward.

Yes, do that, young sir. We will even make sure your reputation does not

suffer by taking it upon ourselves to request the duke

to cancel the wrestling match.

ORLANDO

I beseech you, punish me not with your hard

thoughts; wherein I confess me much guilty, to deny

so fair and excellent ladies any thing. But let

your fair eyes and gentle wishes go with me to my

trial: wherein if I be foiled, there is but one

shamed that was never gracious; if killed, but one

dead that was willing to be so: I shall do my

friends no wrong, for I have none to lament me, the

world no injury, for in it I have nothing; only in

the world I fill up a place, which may be better

supplied when I have made it empty.

Please do not punish me with your hard

honesty. I confess that I would be very guilt to deny

either of you beautiful ladies anything, but I would rather

your beautiful eyes and good wishes follow me to

the match. If I am beaten there, then only I

get the shame, and I wasn’t thought well of anyway. But if I am killed,

then the one who dies was willing to die. I am not doing

my friends anything wrong, since I do not have friends to cry for me,

and I am not harming the world because I have nothing in the world –

I only take up space, which might be better

filled when I am out of it.

ROSALIND

The little strength that I have, I would it were with you.

I wish that the little strength I have goes with you.

CELIA

And mine, to eke out hers.

Mine as well, to join with hers.

ROSALIND

Fare you well: pray heaven I be deceived in you!

Good luck, and I pray that I am wrong about your chances!

CELIA

Your heart's desires be with you!

May whatever you desire be with you!

CHARLES

Come, where is this young gallant that is so

desirous to lie with his mother earth?

Come on, where is that young playboy who

wants to be buried and sleep with Mother Earth?

ORLANDO

Ready, sir; but his will hath in it a more modest working.

I am ready, sir – but I am aspiring to more modest things.

DUKE FREDERICK

You shall try but one fall.

You get only one round.

CHARLES

No, I warrant your grace, you shall not entreat him

to a second, that have so mightily persuaded him

from a first.

I promise your grace, you won’t have to beg him

to fight in a second round, even though you couldn’t keep him

from a first round.

ORLANDO

You mean to mock me after, you should not have

mocked me before: but come your ways.

You should be mocking me after the fight, not

before, but whatever you want.

ROSALIND

Now Hercules be thy speed, young man!

Be as fast as Hercules, young man!

CELIA

I would I were invisible, to catch the strong

fellow by the leg.

I wish I was invisible so that I could grab onto

Charles by the leg.

They wrestle

ROSALIND

O excellent young man!

What an excellent young man!

CELIA

If I had a thunderbolt in mine eye, I can tell who

should down.

If I could shoot thunderbolts from my eyes, I can tell you who

would be thrown down.

Shout. CHARLES is thrown

DUKE FREDERICK

No more, no more.

No more, stop.

ORLANDO

Yes, I beseech your grace: I am not yet well breathed.

Please, I beg you, your Grace, let us continue: I’m not yet out of breath.

DUKE FREDERICK

How dost thou, Charles?

And how are you doing, Charles?

LE BEAU

He cannot speak, my lord.

He can’t speak, my lord.

DUKE FREDERICK

Bear him away. What is thy name, young man?

Carry him away. What is your name, young man?

ORLANDO

Orlando, my liege; the youngest son of Sir Rowland de Boys.

Orlando, my liege, the youngest son of Sire Rowland de Boys.

DUKE FREDERICK

I would thou hadst been son to some man else:

The world esteem'd thy father honourable,

But I did find him still mine enemy:

Thou shouldst have better pleased me with this deed,

Hadst thou descended from another house.

But fare thee well; thou art a gallant youth:

I would thou hadst told me of another father.

I wish you had been someone else’s son.

The world held your father as very honorable,

but I still considered him my enemy.

Your victory would have please me more

if you were from a different family.

Still, I wish you well. You are a brave young man

and I only wish you had told me you had another father.

Exeunt DUKE FREDERICK, train, and LE BEAU

CELIA

Were I my father, coz, would I do this?

Cousin, would I do this if I were my father?

ORLANDO

I am more proud to be Sir Rowland's son,

His youngest son; and would not change that calling,

To be adopted heir to Frederick.

I am proud to be Sir Rowland’s

youngest son, and would not change that

even to become Frederick’s adopted heir.

ROSALIND

My father loved Sir Rowland as his soul,

And all the world was of my father's mind:

Had I before known this young man his son,

I should have given him tears unto entreaties,

Ere he should thus have ventured.

My father loved Sir Rowland as much as his own soul,

and everyone else shared his opinion.

If I had known beforehand that he were his son,

I would have begged him with tears

not to go on with his plans.

CELIA

Gentle cousin,

Let us go thank him and encourage him:

My father's rough and envious disposition

Sticks me at heart. Sir, you have well deserved:

If you do keep your promises in love

But justly, as you have exceeded all promise,

Your mistress shall be happy.

Gentle cousin,

let’s go thank him and encourage him –

my father’s jealous meanness

upsets me. Sir, you did very well in the match,

and if you are able to love

like that, even better than how others think you can,

then your wife will be very happy.

ROSALIND

Gentleman,

Giving him a chain from her neck

Wear this for me, one out of suits with fortune,

That could give more, but that her hand lacks means.

Shall we go, coz?

Gentleman,

Where this necklace for me, someone who has been unlucky

and thus cannot give you anything greater.

Shall we leave, cousin?

CELIA

Ay. Fare you well, fair gentleman.

Yes. Best of luck to you, fair gentleman.

ORLANDO

Can I not say, I thank you? My better parts

Are all thrown down, and that which here stands up

Is but a quintain, a mere lifeless block.

I can’t even say thank you? Really? All of my best parts, like my ability to speak,

are back on the wrestling mat. The only thing left, which stands here

is a dummy, a lifeless stone.

ROSALIND

He calls us back: my pride fell with my fortunes;

I'll ask him what he would. Did you call, sir?

Sir, you have wrestled well and overthrown