The Complete Works of William Shakespeare In Plain and Simple English (Translated) (334 page)

Sir?

Sir?

LAFEU

O, I know him well, I, sir; he, sir, 's a good

workman, a very good tailor.

Oh, I know him well, sir; he's a good

workman, sir, a very good tailor.

BERTRAM

[Aside to PAROLLES] Is she gone to the king?

Has she gone to the King?

PAROLLES

She is.

She has.

BERTRAM

Will she away to-night?

Will she leave tonight?

PAROLLES

As you'll have her.

As you have ordered.

BERTRAM

I have writ my letters, casketed my treasure,

Given order for our horses; and to-night,

When I should take possession of the bride,

End ere I do begin.

I have written my farewells, crated up my valuables,

ordered our horses; and tonight,

when I should be consummating my marriage

I'll be back where I started.

LAFEU

A good traveller is something at the latter end of a

dinner; but one that lies three thirds and uses a

known truth to pass a thousand nothings with, should

be once heard and thrice beaten. God save you, captain.

A well travelled man can be entertaining at the end

of dinner; but one who tells nothing but lies and uses

one truth to backup a thousand fantasies should be

listened to once and beaten three times. God bless you, captain.

BERTRAM

Is there any unkindness between my lord and you, monsieur?

Is there any bad feeling between my lord and you, sir?

PAROLLES

I know not how I have deserved to run into my lord's

displeasure.

I don't know what I've done to deserve my lord's disapproval.

LAFEU

You have made shift to run into 't, boots and spurs

and all, like him that leaped into the custard; and

out of it you'll run again, rather than suffer

question for your residence.

You made an effort to run into it, boots and spurs

and all, like the one who leaped into the custard; and

you will run out of it again, rather than

answer questions about why you are there.

BERTRAM

It may be you have mistaken him, my lord.

Maybe you misunderstood him, my lord.

LAFEU

And shall do so ever, though I took him at 's

prayers. Fare you well, my lord; and believe this

of me, there can be no kernel in this light nut; the

soul of this man is his clothes. Trust him not in

matter of heavy consequence; I have kept of them

tame, and know their natures. Farewell, monsieur:

I have spoken better of you than you have or will to

deserve at my hand; but we must do good against evil.

And I always will do, even if I found him

praying. Farewell, my lord; and mark my words,

there is no heart to this fellow; his soul

is all his clothes. Don't trust him for

any important matters; I've kept men like this

as pets, and I know what they're like. Farewell, monsieur:

I have spoken better of you than you deserve from me;

but we must all do our best to be good.

Exit

PAROLLES

An idle lord. I swear.

A useless lord, I swear

BERTRAM

I think so.

I think so.

PAROLLES

Why, do you not know him?

Why, don't you know him?

BERTRAM

Yes, I do know him well, and common speech

Gives him a worthy pass. Here comes my clog.

Yes, I do know him well, and he has

a good reputation. Here is my ball and chain.

Enter HELENA

HELENA

I have, sir, as I was commanded from you,

Spoke with the king and have procured his leave

For present parting; only he desires

Some private speech with you.

Sir, as you have ordered I have

spoken with the King and got his permission

to leave at once; but he wants

to have a private word with you.

BERTRAM

I shall obey his will.

You must not marvel, Helen, at my course,

Which holds not colour with the time, nor does

The ministration and required office

On my particular. Prepared I was not

For such a business; therefore am I found

So much unsettled: this drives me to entreat you

That presently you take our way for home;

And rather muse than ask why I entreat you,

For my respects are better than they seem

And my appointments have in them a need

Greater than shows itself at the first view

To you that know them not. This to my mother:

Giving a letter

'Twill be two days ere I shall see you, so

I leave you to your wisdom.

I shall do as he asks.

You mustn't be surprised, Helen, at what I do,

which may not seem appropriate for the time

and does not fit with me fulfilling

my obligations. I was not ready

for this business; so I am

rather in a whirl: so I'm asking you

to go home at once;

and you should wonder, rather than ask me, why I ask you to do this,

for I am being more respectful than it might seem

and my appointments are more pressing than may appear

to you, knowing nothing about them. Give this to my mother:

I will see you in two days; until then I leave you to your own devices.

HELENA

Sir, I can nothing say,

But that I am your most obedient servant.

Sir, I can say nothing,

except that I am your most obedient servant.

BERTRAM

Come, come, no more of that.

Now now, that's enough of that.

HELENA

And ever shall

With true observance seek to eke out that

Wherein toward me my homely stars have fail'd

To equal my great fortune.

And I shall always

try to behave properly to make up the deficiencies

of my humble birth, which does not match

my great fortune.

BERTRAM

Let that go:

My haste is very great: farewell; hie home.

Never mind that:

I'm in a great hurry: farewell, hurry home.

HELENA

Pray, sir, your pardon.

Excuse me, sir.

BERTRAM

Well, what would you say?

Well, what do you want to say?

HELENA

I am not worthy of the wealth I owe,

Nor dare I say 'tis mine, and yet it is;

But, like a timorous thief, most fain would steal

What law does vouch mine own.

I do not deserve the riches I have got,

nor do I dare believe they're mine, but they are;

but, like a cowardly thief, I want to steal

my own property.

BERTRAM

What would you have?

What do you want?

HELENA

Something; and scarce so much: nothing, indeed.

I would not tell you what I would, my lord:

Faith yes;

Strangers and foes do sunder, and not kiss.

Something; hardly anything: nothing in fact.

I won't tell you what I want, my lord:

actually I will;

strangers and enemies do not kiss when they part.

BERTRAM

I pray you, stay not, but in haste to horse.

I'm telling you, don't stop here, hurry to your horse.

HELENA

I shall not break your bidding, good my lord.

I shall follow your orders, my good lord.

BERTRAM

Where are my other men, monsieur? Farewell.

Exit HELENA

Go thou toward home; where I will never come

Whilst I can shake my sword or hear the drum.

Away, and for our flight.

Where are my other men, sir? Farewell.

(Exit Helena)

Go off home; the place I will never go

while I can still hold a sword or hear the drum.

Come on, let's make our escape.

PAROLLES

Bravely, coragio!

Bravely, with courage!

Exeunt

Flourish. Enter the DUKE of Florence attended; the two Frenchmen, with a troop of soldiers.

DUKE

So that from point to point now have you heard

The fundamental reasons of this war,

Whose great decision hath much blood let forth

And more thirsts after.

So you have now heard from start to finish

the principal reasons for this war,

which has caused so much blood to be spilt

and it seems there is more to come.

First Lord