The Complete Works of William Shakespeare In Plain and Simple English (Translated) (1040 page)

My worthy friends, will you come to the table?

Third Lord

I'll tell you more anon. Here's a noble feast toward.

I'll tell you more shortly. There is a great feast to be had.

Second Lord

This is the old man still.

He's like he used to be.

Third Lord

Will 't hold? will 't hold?

Will it last? Can he support it?

Second Lord

It does: but time will--and so--

It does: but time will–and so–

Third Lord

I do conceive.

I understand what you mean.

TIMON

Each man to his stool, with that spur as he would to

the lip of his mistress: your diet shall be in all

places alike. Make not a city feast of it, to let

the meat cool ere we can agree upon the first place:

sit, sit. The gods require our thanks.

You great benefactors, sprinkle our society with

thankfulness. For your own gifts, make yourselves

praised: but reserve still to give, lest your

deities be despised. Lend to each man enough, that

one need not lend to another; for, were your

godheads to borrow of men, men would forsake the

gods. Make the meat be beloved more than the man

that gives it. Let no assembly of twenty be without

a score of villains: if there sit twelve women at

the table, let a dozen of them be--as they are. The

rest of your fees, O gods--the senators of Athens,

together with the common lag of people--what is

amiss in them, you gods, make suitable for

destruction. For these my present friends, as they

are to me nothing, so in nothing bless them, and to

nothing are they welcome.

Uncover, dogs, and lap.

The dishes are uncovered and seen to be full of warm water

Every man go to his stool, as keenly as he would to

the lips of his mistress. You shall have the same food at every

seat. Don't let's have a formal banquet, where the meat cools

before we can agree who will sit where. Sit, sit. The

gods must be thanked.

You great benefactors, sprinkle our company with gratitude.

Allow yourselves to be praised for your gifts; but

always keep something in reserve, in case you become hated. Lend each

man enough so that nobody needs to borrow from another; for if your

graces borrowed from men, men would abandon the gods.

Make the meat be more loved than the man who gives it.

Let every company of twenty have twenty villains in it.

If there are twelve women at a table, let a dozen of them be

the same. The rest of your property, O gods, the senators of Athens,

together with the common people–whatever is wrong with them,

you gods, get ready to destroy them. As for these

people who are my friends at the moment, as they are nothing to me, so don't

bless them in anything, and they are welcome to nothing.

Take off the covers, dogs, and slurp.

Some Speak

What does his lordship mean?

What is the meaning of this?

Some Others

I know not.

I don't know.

TIMON

May you a better feast never behold,

You knot of mouth-friends! Smoke and lukewarm water

Is your perfection. This is Timon's last;

Who, stuck and spangled with your flatteries,

Washes it off, and sprinkles in your faces

Your reeking villany.

Throwing the water in their faces

Live loathed and long,

Most smiling, smooth, detested parasites,

Courteous destroyers, affable wolves, meek bears,

You fools of fortune, trencher-friends, time's flies,

Cap and knee slaves, vapours, and minute-jacks!

Of man and beast the infinite malady

Crust you quite o'er! What, dost thou go?

Soft! take thy physic first--thou too--and thou;--

Stay, I will lend thee money, borrow none.

Throws the dishes at them, and drives them out

What, all in motion? Henceforth be no feast,

Whereat a villain's not a welcome guest.

Burn, house! sink, Athens! henceforth hated be

Of Timon, man and all humanity!

Exit

May you never have a better feast than this,

you group of cupboard lovers! Smoke and lukewarm water

is all you deserve. This is all Timon has left;

sprinkled all over with your flattery,

he washes it off, and throws your stinking villainy

back in your faces.

Live long hated lives,

you smiling, smooth, detestable parasites,

polite destroyers, affable wolves, meek bears,

you fools of fortune, mealtime friends, summer insects,

grovelling slaves, unsubstantial shifters!

May the worst illnesses of men and animals

scab over your skin! What, are you going?

Wait, take your medicine first–you too–and you!

Wait, I will lend you money, I won't borrow any.

What? All going? From now on there should be no feast

at which the villain is not a welcome guest.

Burn, house! Sink, Athens! From now on be hated

by Timon, man and all humanity!

Re-enter the Lords, Senators, & c

First Lord

How now, my lords!

What's all this, my lords!

Second Lord

Know you the quality of Lord Timon's fury?

Do you know why Lord Timon is so angry?

Third Lord

Push! did you see my cap?

Tcha! Did you see my cap?

Fourth Lord

I have lost my gown.

I have lost my gown.

First Lord

He's but a mad lord, and nought but humour sways him.

He gave me a jewel th' other day, and now he has

beat it out of my hat: did you see my jewel?

He's just a mad lord, and he is governed by his moods.

He gave me a jewel the other day, and now he has

knocked it out of my hat: did you see my jewel?

Third Lord

Did you see my cap?

Have you seen my cap?

Second Lord

Here 'tis.

Here it is.

Fourth Lord

Here lies my gown.

Here is my gown.

First Lord

Let's make no stay.

Let's not stay here.

Second Lord

Lord Timon's mad.

Lord Timon is mad.

Third Lord

I feel 't upon my bones.

I can feel that in the bruises he's given me.

Fourth Lord

One day he gives us diamonds, next day stones.

One day he's throwing diamonds at us, the next day stones.

Exeunt

Enter TIMON
TIMON
Let me look back upon thee. O thou wall, That girdlest in those wolves, dive in the earth, And fence not Athens! Matrons, turn incontinent! Obedience fail in children! slaves and fools, Pluck the grave wrinkled senate from the bench, And minister in their steads! to general filths Convert o' the instant, green virginity, Do 't in your parents' eyes! bankrupts, hold fast; Rather than render back, out with your knives, And cut your trusters' throats! bound servants, steal! Large-handed robbers your grave masters are, And pill by law. Maid, to thy master's bed; Thy mistress is o' the brothel! Son of sixteen, pluck the lined crutch from thy old limping sire, With it beat out his brains! Piety, and fear, Religion to the gods, peace, justice, truth, Domestic awe, night-rest, and neighbourhood, Instruction, manners, mysteries, and trades, Degrees, observances, customs, and laws, Decline to your confounding contraries, And let confusion live! Plagues, incident to men, Your potent and infectious fevers heap On Athens, ripe for stroke! Thou cold sciatica, Cripple our senators, that their limbs may halt As lamely as their manners. Lust and liberty Creep in the minds and marrows of our youth, That 'gainst the stream of virtue they may strive, And drown themselves in riot! Itches, blains, Sow all the Athenian bosoms; and their crop Be general leprosy! Breath infect breath, at their society, as their friendship, may merely poison! Nothing I'll bear from thee, But nakedness, thou detestable town! Take thou that too, with multiplying bans! Timon will to the woods; where he shall find The unkindest beast more kinder than mankind. The gods confound--hear me, you good gods all-- The Athenians both within and out that wall! And grant, as Timon grows, his hate may grow To the whole race of mankind, high and low! Amen. Exit

Let me look back at you. Oh you wall

that stretches round those wolves, dive into the earth,

and don't protect Athens! Women, be unfaithful!

Children, become disobedient! Slaves and fools,

drag the revered wrinkled senators from their benches

and govern in their place! Virgins,

turn at once to filthy behaviour!

Do it in front of your parents! Bankrupts, stand firm;

instead of repaying your debts, take out your lives,

and cut the throats of those who trusted you! Contracted servants, steal!

Your dignified masters are terrible thieves,

and they steal legally. Maid, get in your master's bed;

your mistress belongs in the brothel! Sixteen-year-old son,

grab the padded crutch off your old limping father;

beat his brains out with it! Piety and fear,

respect for the gods, peace, justice, truth,

domestic respect, peace and neighbourliness,

teaching, manners, crafts and trades,