The Complete Works of Leo Tolstoy (25+ Works with active table of contents) (430 page)

FÉDYA. Later. Later. But now, listen, old man, give this to the head waiter. (Handing him some money.) You understand?

IVÁN PETROVICH. Yes, but for God's sake wait for me to come back. (Moves away.) I've something rare to tell you, something you'll never hear in the next world--at least not till I get there---- Look here, shall I give him all this money?

FÉDYA. No, just what I owe him.

[Exit IVÁN PETROVICH, whistling. FÉDYA sighs with a sense of relief, takes the revolver, cocks it, stands at mirror on wall up R., and puts it close to his temple. Then shivers, and lets his hand drop.

I can't do it. I can't do it.

[Pause. MASHA is heard singing. MASHA bursts into the room.

MASHA (breathless). I've been everywhere looking for you. To Popov's, Afrémov's, then I guessed you'd be here. (Crosses to him. Sees revolver, turns, faces him quickly, concealing it with her body, stands very tense and taut, looking at him.) Oh, you fool! You hideous fool! Did you think you'd----

FÉDYA (still completely unnerved). Awful! It's been awful! I tried---- (With a gesture of despair.) I couldn't----

[Crosses to table L. C.--leans against it.

MASHA (puts her hand to her face as if terribly hurt). As if I didn't exist. (Crosses over to table L. C., puts down revolver.) As if I weren't in your life at all. Oh, how godless you are! (Brokenly.) Tell me, tell me, what about all my love for you?

FÉDYA (as if suddenly aware of a great fatigue). I wanted to set them free. I promised to--and when the time came I couldn't.

MASHA. And what about me? What about me?

FÉDYA. I thought you'd be free, too. Surely my torturing you can't make you happy.

MASHA. Oh, I can look out for myself. Maybe I'd rather be unhappy, miserable, wretched with you every minute than even think of living without you.

FÉDYA (up R.--half to himself). If I'd finished just now, you would have cried bitterly perhaps, my Masha, but you would have lived past it.

MASHA. Oh, damn you, don't be so sure I'd cry at all. Can't you even be sorry for me?

[She tries to conceal her tears.

FÉDYA. Oh God, I only wanted to make everybody happier.

MASHA. Yourself happier, you mean.

FÉDYA (smiling). Would I have been happier to be dead now?

MASHA (sulkily). I suppose you would. (Suddenly in a tender voice, crossing to him.) But, Fédya, do you know what you want? Tell me, what do you want?

FÉDYA (R). I want so many things.

MASHA (impatiently and clinging to him). But what? What?

FÉDYA. First of all, I want to set them free. How can I lie? How can I crawl through the muck and filth of a divorce? I can't. (Moves to end of table and stands there facing front.) But I must set them free somehow. They're such good people, my wife and Victor. I can't bear having them suffer.

MASHA (R. of table L. C.--scornfully). Where's the good in her if she left you?

FÉDYA. She didn't. I left her.

MASHA. She made you think she'd be happier without you. But go on---- (Impatiently.) Blame yourself, what else.

FÉDYA. There's you, Masha. Young, lovely, awfully dear to me. If I stay alive, ah, where will you be?

MASHA. Don't bother about me. You can't hurt me.

FÉDYA (sighing). But the big reason, the biggest reason of all, is myself. I'm just lost. Your father is right, my dear. I'm no good.

MASHA (crossing to him, at once tenderly and savagely). I won't unfasten myself from you. I'll stick to you, no matter where you take me, no matter what you do. You're alive, terribly alive, and I love you. Fédya, drop all this horror.

FÉDYA. How can I?

MASHA (trying to project the very essence of her vitality into him). Oh, you can, you can.

FÉDYA (slowly). When I look at you, I feel as though I could do anything.

MASHA (proudly, fondly). My love, my love. You can do anything, get anywhere you want to. (FÉDYA moves away impatiently up R. She sees letter.) So you have been writing to them--to tell them you'll kill yourself. You just told them you'd kill yourself, is that it? But you didn't say anything about a revolver. Oh, Fédya, let me think, there must be some way. Fédya--listen to me. Do you remember the day we all went to the picnic to the White Lakes with Mama and Afrémov and the young Cossack officer? And you buried the bottles of wine in the sand to keep them cool while we went in bathing? Do you remember how you took my hands and drew me out beyond the waves till the water was quite silent and flashing almost up to our throats, and then suddenly it seemed as if there were nothing under our feet? We tried to get back. We couldn't and you shouted out, "Afrémov," and if he hadn't been almost beside us and pulled us in--and how cross he was with you for forgetting that you couldn't swim, and after, how wonderful it was to stretch out safely on the sands in the sunlight. Oh, how nice every one was to us that day and you kept on being so sorry for forgetting you couldn't swim! And, Fédya, don't you see? Of course, she must know you can't swim. Oh, it's all getting as clear as daylight. You will send her this beautiful letter. Your clothes will be found on the river bank--but instead of being in the river you will be far away with me--Fédya, don't you see, don't you see? You will be dead to her, but alive for me. (Embraces FÉDYA.)

[The lights down and out.

CURTAIN

SCENE VI

The PROTOSOVS' drawing-room.

KARÉNIN and LISA.

KARÉNIN (sitting chair R.). He's promised me definitely, and I'm sure he'll keep to it.

LISA (sitting chair R. C.). I'm rather ashamed to confess it, Victor, but since I found out about this--this gypsy, I feel completely free of him. Of course, I am not in the least jealous, but knowing this makes me see that I owe him nothing more. Am I clear to you, I wonder?

KARÉNIN (coming closer to her). Yes, dear, I think I'll always understand you.

LISA (smiling). Don't interrupt me, but let me speak as I think. The thing that tortured me most was I seemed to love both of you at once, and that made me seem so indecent to myself.

KARÉNIN (incredulously amused). You indecent?

LISA (continuing). But since I've found out that there's another woman, that he doesn't need me any more, I feel free, quite free of him. And now I can say truthfully, I love you. Because everything is clear in my soul. My only worry is the divorce, and all the waiting to be gone through before we can---- Ah, that's torturing.

KARÉNIN. Dearest, everything will be settled soon. After all, he's promised, and I've asked my secretary to go to him with the petition and not to leave until he's signed it. Really, sometimes, if I didn't know him as I do, I'd think he was trying on purpose to discomfort us.

LISA. No. No. It's, only the same weakness and honesty fighting together in him. He doesn't want to lie. However, I'm sorry you sent him money.

KARÉNIN. If I hadn't, it might have delayed things. Lisa. I know, but money seems so ugly.

KARÉNIN (slightly ruffled). I hardly think it's necessary to be so delicate with Fédya.

LISA. Perhaps, perhaps. (Smiling.) But don't you think we are becoming very selfish?

KARÉNIN. Maybe. But it's all your fault, dear. After all, this hopelessness and waiting, to think of being happy at last! I suppose happiness does make us selfish.

LISA. Don't believe you're alone in your happiness or selfishness. I am so filled with joy it makes me almost afraid. Misha's all right, your mother loves me, and above all, you are here, close to me, loving me as I love you.

KARÉNIN (bending over her and searching her eyes). You're sure you've no regret?

LISA. From the day I found out about that gypsy woman, my mind underwent a change that has set me free.

KARÉNIN. You're sure?

[Kissing her hands.

LISA (passionately). Darling, I've only one desire now, and that is to have you forget the past and love as I do.

[Her little boy toddles in R., sees them and stops.

[To the child.

Come here, my sweetheart.

[He goes to her and she takes him on her knees.

KARÉNIN. What strange contradictory instincts and desires make up our beings!

LISA. Why?

KARÉNIN (slowly). I don't know. When I came back from abroad, knew I'd lost you, I was unhappy, terribly. Yet, it was enough for me to learn that you at least remembered me. Afterward, when we became friends, and you were kind to me, and into our friendship wavered a spark of something more than friendship, ah, I was almost happy! Only one thing tormented me: fear that such a feeling wronged Fédya. Afterwards, when Fédya tortured you so, I saw I could help. Then a certain definite hope sprang up in me. And later, when he became impossible and you decided to leave him, and I showed you my heart for the first time, and you didn't say no, but went away in tears--then I was happy through and through. Then came the possibility of joining our lives. Mamma loved you. You told me you loved me, that Fédya was gone out of your heart, out of your life forever, and there was only, only me.... Ah, Lisa, for what more could I ask! Yet the past tortured me. Awful fancies would flush up into my happiness, turning it all into hatred for your past.

LISA (interrupting reproachfully). Victor!

KARÉNIN. Forgive me, Lisa. I only tell you this because I don't want to hide a single thought from you. I want you to know how bad I am, and what a weakness I've got to fight down. But don't worry, I'll get past it. It's all right, dear. (He bends over, kissing the child on the head.) And I love him, too.

LISA. Dearest, I'm so happy. Everything has happened in my heart to make it as you'd wish.

KARÉNIN. All?

LISA. All, beloved, or I never could say so.

[Enter the NURSE L. U.

NURSE. Your secretary has come back.

[LISA and KARÉNIN exchange glances.

LISA. Show him in here, nurse, and take Misha, will you?

NURSE. Come along, my pet. It's time for your rest.

[Exit NURSE with the little boy, R.

KARÉNIN (gets up, walks to the door). This will be Fédya's answer.

LISA (kissing Karénin). At last, at last we shall know when. (She kisses him.)

[Enter VOZNESÉNSKY L. U.

KARÉNIN. Well?

SECRETARY. He's not there, sir.

KARÉNIN. Not there? He's not signed the petition, then?

SECRETARY. No. But here is a letter addressed to you and Elizaveta Protosova.

[Takes letter from his pocket and gives it to KARÉNIN.

KARÉNIN (interrupting angrily). More excuses, more excuses. It's perfectly outrageous. How without conscience he is. Really, he has lost every claim to----

LISA. But read the letter, dear; see what he says.

[KARÉNIN opens the letter.

SECRETARY. Shall you need me, sir?

Karénin. No. That's all. Thank you.

[Exit SECRETARY. KARÉNIN reads the letter growing astonishment and concern. LISA watches his face.

(Reading.)

"Lisa, Victor, I write you both without using terms of endearment, since I can't feel them, nor can I conquer a sense of bitterness and reproach, self-reproach principally, when I think of you together in your love. I know, in spite of being the husband, I was also the barrier, preventing you from coming earlier to one another. C'est moi qui suis l'intrue. I stood in your way, I worried you to death. Yet I can't help feeling bitterly, coldly, toward you. In one way I love both of you, especially Lisa Lizenska, but in reality I am more than cold toward you. Yes, it's unjust, isn't it, but to change is impossible."

LISA. What's all that for?

KARÉNIN (standing L. of table C., continuing).

"However, to the point. I am going to fulfill your wishes in perhaps a little different way from what you desire. To lie, to act a degrading comedy, to bribe women of the streets for evidence--the ugliness of it all disgusts me. I am a bad man, but this despicable thing I am utterly unable to do. My solution is after all the simplest. You must marry to be happy. I am the obstacle, consequently that obstacle must be removed."

LISA (R. of table). Victor!

KARÉNIN (reading). Must be removed? "By the time this letter reaches you, I shall no longer exist. All I ask you is to be happy, and whenever you think of me, think tender thoughts. God bless you both. Good-bye. FÉDYA."

LISA. He's killed himself!

KARÉNIN (going hurriedly up stage L. and calls of). My secretary! Call back my secretary!

LISA. Fédya! Fédya, darling!

KARÉNIN. Lisa!

LISA. It's not true! It's not true that I've stopped loving him! He's the only man in all the world I love! And now I've killed him! I've killed him as surely as if I'd murdered him with my own two hands!