The Complete Mapp & Lucia (205 page)

She smiled and kissed her hand, and walked off without turning her head, a little out of breath with this shattering eloquence, but rejoicing and rejuvenated.

“That
was
a pleasure,” she said to herself, “and to think that I was ever terrified of meeting them! What a coward! I don’t think I left anybody out: I insulted each one in the presence of all the rest. That’s what they get for not believing that Poppy stayed here, and for thinking that I was down and out. I’ve given them something else to think about. I’ve paid them back, thank God, and now we’ll see what will happen next.”

Lucia, of course, had no intention of flying to Le Touquet, but she drove to Seaport next morning to meet Georgie. He was wearing a new French yachting costume with a double-breasted jacket and brass buttons.

“My dear, how delightful of you to come and meet me!” he said. “Quite a smooth crossing. Do you like my clothes?”

“Too smart for anything, Georgie, and I am so glad to see you again. Such a lot to tell you which I couldn’t write.”

“Elizabeth been behaving well?” he asked.

“Fiendishly. A real crisis, Georgie, and you’ve come into the middle of it. I’ll tell you all about it as we go.”

Lucia gave an unbiassed and lucid sketch of what had happened, peppered by indignant and excited comments from him: “Poppy’s imbecile—yes I call her Poppy to her face, she asked me to—Fancy her forgetting you: just the sort of thing for that foul Mapp to make capital of—And so like her to get the Council to reject the picture of you—My dear, you cried? What a shame, and how very unlike you—And they don’t believe Poppy stayed with you? Why of course she did! She talked about it—Even Irene?—How utterly poisonous of them all!—Hurrah, I’m glad you gave it them hot after church. Capital! We’ll do something stunning, now that we can put our heads together about it. I must hear it all over again bit by bit. And here we are in the High Street. There’s Mapp, grinning like a Cheshire cat. We’ll cut her anyhow, just to make a beginning: we can’t go wrong over that.”

Georgie paused a moment.

“And, do you know, I’m very glad to be back,” he said. “Olga was perfectly sweet, as she always is, but there were other things. It would have been far better if I’d come home on Saturday.”

“Georgie, how thrilling!” cried Lucia, forgetting her own crisis for a brief second. “What is it?”

“I’ll tell you afterwards. Hullo, Grosvenor, how are you? Yes, I think I’ll have a warm bath after my journey and then rest till tea-time.”

They had tea in his sitting-room after he had rested, where he was arranging his bibelots, for Grosvenor had not put them back, after dusting them, exactly as he wished. This done, he took up his needle-work and his narration.

“It’s been rather upsetting,” he said. “Poppy was terribly ill on her crossing, and I didn’t see her till next day, after I had settled to stop at Olga’s over the Sunday, as I telegraphed. And then she was very queer. She took hold of my hand under the table at dinner, and trod on my foot and smiled at me most oddly. She wouldn’t play Bridge, but came and sat close up against me. One thing after another—”

“Georgie, what a horrid woman,” said Lucia. “How could she dare? Did she try—”

“No,” said Georgie hastily. “Nothing important. Olga assured me she didn’t mean anything of the sort, but that she always behaved like that to people with beards. Olga wasn’t very sympathetic about it: in fact she came to my room one night, and simply went into fits of laughter.”

“Your bedroom, Georgie?” asked Lucia.

“Yes. She often did when we went upstairs and talked for a bit. But Poppy was very embarrassing. I’m not good at that sort of thing. And yesterday, she made me go for a walk with her along the beach, and wanted to paddle with me. But I was quite firm about that. I said I should go inland at once if she went on about it.”

“Quite right, dear. Just what I should have done myself,” said Lucia appreciatively.

“And so those last two days weren’t so pleasant. I was uncomfortable. I wished I’d come back on Saturday.”

“Very tiresome for you, dear,” said Lucia. “But it’s all over now.”

“That’s just what I’m not so sure about,” said he. “She’s leaving Olga’s tomorrow, and she’s going to telegraph to you, asking if you would let her stay here for a couple of nights. Apparently you begged her to propose herself. You must really say your house is full or that you’re away. Though Olga says she means no harm, it’s most disagreeable.”

Lucia sprang from her chair.

“Georgie, how absolutely providential!” she cried. “If only she came, it would kill that despicable scandal that she hadn’t stayed here before. They would be forced to believe that she had. Oh! What a score!”

“Well, I couldn’t stop here if she came,” said Georgie firmly. “It got on my nerves. It made me feel very jumpy.”

“But then she mightn’t stop if she found you weren’t here,” pleaded Lucia. “Besides, as Olga says, she doesn’t mean anything, I shall be with you; surely that will be sufficient protection, and I won’t leave you alone with her a minute all day. And if you’re nervous, you may sleep in my room. Just while she’s here, of course.”

“Oh, I don’t think either of us would like that,” said Georgie, “and Foljambe would think it so odd.”

“Well, you could lock your door. Oh, Georgie, it isn’t really much to ask, and it will put me on a higher pinnacle than ever, far, far above their base insinuations. They will eat their hearts out with shame.”

Grosvenor entered.

“A telegram for you, ma’am. Prepaid.”

With trembling hands Lucia tore it open, and, for Grosvenor’s benefit, assumed her drawling voice.

“From the Duchess, dear,” she said. “She wants to come here tomorrow for two nights, on her way back from Le Touquet. I suppose I had better say yes, as I did ask her to propose herself.”

“Oh, very well,” said Georgie.

Lucia scribbled a cordial reply, and Grosvenor took it away with the tea-tray.

“Georgino, you’re an angel,” said she. “My dear, all the time that I was so wretched here, I knew it would all come right as soon as you got back, and see what has happened! Now let us make our plans at once. I think we’ll ask nobody the first night she is here—”

“Nor the second either I should hope,” said Georgie, “Give them a good lesson. Besides, after the way you talked to them yesterday after church, they probably wouldn’t come. That would be a knock.”

Lucia regarded an angle of the ceiling with that far away abstracted expression with which she listened to music.

“About their coming, dear,” she said, “I will wager my knowledge of human nature that they will without exception. As to my asking them, you know how I trust your judgment, but here I’m not sure that I agree. Don’t you think that to forgive them all, and to behave as if nothing had happened, would be the most devastating thing I could do? There’s nothing that stings so much as contemptuous oblivion. I have often found that.”

“You don’t mean to say that you’ll ask Elizabeth Mapp-Flint to dine?” asked Georgie.

“I think so, Georgie, poor soul. If I don’t she will feel that she has hurt me, that I want to pay her out. I shouldn’t like her to feel that. I don’t want to leave her a leg to stand on. Up till now I have never desired quite to crush her, but I feel I have been too lenient. If she is to become a better woman, I must give her a sharper lesson than merely ignoring her. I may remind her by some little impromptu touch of what she tried to do to me, but I shall trust to the inspiration of the moment about that.”

Georgie came round to Lucia’s view of the value of vindictive forgiveness, while for himself he liked the idea of calling a Duchess by her Christian name before Mapp and Co. He would not even mind her holding his hand if there were plenty of people there.

“It ought to be a wonderful party,” he said. “Even better than the party you gave for Olga. I’m beginning to look forward to it. Shall I help you with writing the invitations?”

“Not necessary, dear, thank you,” said Lucia. “I shall ask them all quite casually by telephone on the afternoon of our dinner. Leave it to me.”

Poppy arrived next evening, again prostrated by seasickness and far from amorous. But a good night restored her, and the three took a morning stroll in the High Street, so that everybody saw them. Lucia, absolutely certain that there would be a large dinner-party at Mallards that night, ordered appropriate provisions. In the afternoon they went for a motor-drive: just before starting Lucia directed Foljambe to ring up the whole circle of friends, asking them to excuse such short notice and take pot-luck with her, and not a word was Foljambe to say about Duchesses. They knew.

While the ducal party traversed the country roads, the telephone bells of Tilling were ringing merrily. For the Wyses were engaged to dine and play Bridge with the Mapp-Flints, and Susan, feeling certain that she would not meet the Mapp-Flints anyhow at Mallards, rang up Elizabeth to say that she was not feeling at all well and regretted not being able to come. Algernon, she said, did not like to leave her. To her surprise Elizabeth was all cordiality: dear Susan must not think of going out, it was no inconvenience at all, and they would arrange another night. So, with sighs of relief, they both rang up Mallards, and found that the line was engaged, for Susan Leg, having explained to Diva that she had made a stupid mistake, and had meant to ask her for tomorrow not for to-night, was telling Foljambe that she would be charmed to come. Diva got the line next, and fussing with this delay, Elizabeth sent Benjy round to Mallards to say how pleased. Then to make certain, they all wrote formal notes of acceptance. As for Irene, she was so overcome with remorse at having ever doubted Lucia’s word, and so overwhelmed by her nobility in forgiving her, that she burst into tears, and forgot to answer at all.

Poppy was very late for dinner, and all Lucia’s guests had arrived before she appeared. They were full of a timid yet eager cordiality, as if scarcely believing that such magnanimity was possible, and their hostess was graciousness itself. She was particularly kind to Elizabeth and made enquiries about her sketch. Then as Poppy still lingered she said to Georgie: “Run up to Poppy’s room, dear, and tell her she must be quick.” She had hardly got that pleasant sentence out when Poppy entered.

“Naughty!” said Lucia, and took her arm to introduce the company. “Mr. and Mrs. Wyse, Miss Leg (Rudolph da Vinci, you know, dear), Miss Irene Coles—the picture of the year—and Mrs. Plaistow: didn’t you have one of her delicious teas when you were here? And my Mayoress, Mrs. Mapp-Flint, I don’t think you met her when you stayed with me last week. And Major Mapp-Flint. Now everybody knows everybody. Sherry, dear Poppy?”

Georgie kept his hands on the table during dinner, and Poppy intermittently caressed the one nearest her in a casual manner; with so many witnesses and in so bright a light, Georgie liked it rather than otherwise. Her attempt to stroll with him alone in the garden afterwards was frustrated, for Lucia, as bound by her promise, instantly joined them, and brought them back to the garden-room. She was induced to play to them, and Poppy, sitting close to Georgie on the sofa, fell into a refreshing slumber. At the cessation of the music, she woke with a start and asked what the time was. A most distinguished suavity prevailed, and though the party lacked the gaiety and lightness of the Olga-festival, its quality was far more monumental. Then the guests dispersed; Lucia had a kind word for each and she thanked them all for having excused her giving them such short notice.

Elizabeth walked home in silence with Benjy. Her exaltation evaporated in the night-air like the fumes of wine, leaving behind an irritated depression.

“Well, there’s no help for it,” she said bitterly, as he fumbled with the latch-key of the Vicarage. “But I daresay before long—Do be quick.”

Half an hour later at Mallards, Lucia, having seen Poppy well on the way to bed, tapped discreetly at Georgie’s door. That gave him a terrible fright, till he remembered he had locked it.

“No, you can’t come in,” he said. “Good night, Poppy. Sleep well.”

“It’s me, Georgie,” said Lucia in a low voice. “Open the door: only a chink. She isn’t here.”

Georgie unlocked it.

“Perfect!” she whispered. “Such a treat for them all! They will remember this evening. Perfect.”

THE END