The Complete Dramatic Works (29 page)

]
Cooker, Willie, does Cooker ring a bell, the name Cooker? [
Pause.
She
cranes 
back
to
look
at
him.
Pause
.]
Oh really! [
Pause.
]
Have you no handkerchief, darling? [
Pause.
]
Have you no delicacy? [
Pause.
]
Oh, Willie, you’re not eating it! Spit it out, dear, spit it out! [
Pause.
Back
front.
]
Ah well, I suppose it’s only natural. [
Break
in
voice.
]
Human. [
Pause.
Do.
]
What
is
one to do? [
Head
down.
Do.
]
All day long. [
Pause.
Do.
] Day after day. [
Pause.
Head
up.
Smile.
Calm.
]
The old style! [
Smile
off.
Resumes
nails.
]
No, done him. [
Passes
on
to
next.
]
Should have put on my glasses. [
Pause.
]
Too late now. [
Finishes
left
hand,
inspects
it.
]
Bit more human. [
Starts
right
hand.
Following
punctuated
as
before.
]
Well anyway – this man Shower – or Cooker – no matter – and the woman – hand in hand
– in the other hands bags – kind of big brown grips – standing there gaping at me
– and at last this man Shower – or Cooker – ends in ’er anyway – stake my life on
that – What’s she doing? he says – What’s the idea? he says – stuck up to her diddies
in the bleeding ground – coarse fellow – What does it mean? he says – What’s it meant
to mean? – and so on – lot more stuff like that – usual drivel – Do you hear me? he
says – I do, she says, God help me – What do you mean, he says, God help you? [
Stops
filing,
raises
head,
gazes
front.
]
And you, she says, what’s the idea of you, she says, what are you meant to mean?
Is it because you’re still on your two flat feet, with your old ditty full of tinned
muck and changes of underwear, dragging me up and
down this fornicating wilderness, coarse creature, fit mate – [
with
sudden
violence
]
– let go of my hand and drop for God’s sake, she says, drop! [
Pause.
Resumes
filing.
]
Why doesn’t he dig her out? he says – referring to you, my dear – What good is she
to him like that? – What good is he to her like that? – and so on – usual tosh – Good!
she says, have a heart for God’s sake – Dig her out, he says, dig her out, no sense
in her like that – Dig her out with what? she says – I’d dig her out with my bare
hands, he says – must have been man and – wife. [
Files
in
silence.
]
Next thing they’re away – hand in hand – and the bags – dim – then gone – last human
kind – to stray this way. [
Finishes
right
hand,
inspects
it,
lays
down
file,
gazes
front.
]
Strange thing, time like this, drift up into the mind. [
Pause.
] Strange? [
Pause.
]
No, here all is strange. [
Pause.
]
Thankful for it in any case. [
Voice
breaks.
]
Most thankful. [
Head
down.
Pause.
Head
up.
Calm.
]
Bow and raise the head, bow and raise, always that. [
Pause.
]
And now? [
Long
pause.
Starts
putting
things
back
in
bag,
toothbrush
last.
This
operation,
interrupted
by
pauses
as
indicated,
punctuates
following.
]
It is perhaps a little soon – to make ready – for the night – [
stops
tidying,
head
up,
smile
]
 
– the old style! – [
smile
off,
resumes
tidying
]
–
and yet I do – make ready for the night – feeling it at hand – the bell for sleep
– saying to myself – Winnie – it will not be long now, Winnie – until the bell for
sleep. [
Stops
tidying,
head
up.
]
Sometimes I am wrong. [
Smile.
]
But not often. [
Smile
off
.]
Sometimes all is over, for the day, all done, all said, all ready for the night,
and the day not over, far from over, the night not ready, far, far from ready. [
Smile.
]
But not often. [
Smile
off
.]
Yes, the bell for sleep, when I feel it at hand, and so make ready for the night
– [
gesture
]
– in this way, sometimes I am wrong – [
smile
]
 
– but not often. [
Smile
off.
Resumes
tidying.
]
I used to think – I say I used to think – that all these things – put back into the
bag – if too soon – put back too soon – could be taken out again – if necessary –
if needed – and so on – indefinitely – back into the bag – back out of the bag – until
the bell – went. [
Stops
tidying,
head
up,
smile.
]
But no. [
Smile
broader.
]
No no. [
Smile
off.
Resumes
tidying.
]
I suppose this – might seem strange – this – what shall I say – this what I have
said – yes – [
she
takes
up
revolver
]
– strange – [
she
turns
to
put
revolver
in
bag
]
 
– were it not – [
about
to
put
revolver
in
bag
she
arrests
gesture
and
turns
back
front
]
 
–
were it not – [
she
lays
down
revolver
to
her
right,
stops
tidying,
head
up
]
–
that all seems strange. [
Pause.
] Most strange. [
Pause.
]
Never any change. [
Pause.
]
And more and more strange [
Pause.
She
bends
to
mound
again,
takes
up
last
object,
i.e.
toothbrush,
and
turns
to
put
it
in
bag
when
her
attention
is
drawn
to
disturbance
from
WILLIE
.
She
cranes
back
and
to
her
right
to
see.
Pause.
] Weary of your hole, dear? [
Pause.
]
Well I can understand that. [
Pause.
]
Don’t forget your straw. [
Pause.
]
Not the crawler you were, poor darling. [
Pause.
]
No, not the crawler I gave my heart to. [
Pause.
]
The hands and knees, love, try the hands and knees. [
Pause.
]
The knees! The knees! [
Pause.
]
What a curse, mobility! [
She
follows
with
eyes
his
progress
towards
her
behind
mound,
i.e.
towards
place
he
occupied
at
beginning
of
act.
]
Another foot, Willie, and you’re home. [
Pause
as
she
observes
last
foot.
] Ah! [
Turns
back
front
laboriously,
rubs
neck.
]
Crick in my neck admiring you. [
Rubs
neck.
]
But it’s worth it, well worth it. [
Turning
slightly
towards
him.
]
Do you know what I dream sometimes? [
Pause.
]
What I dream sometimes, Willie. [
Pause.
]
That you’ll come round and live this side where I could see you. [
Pause.
Back
front.
]
I’d be a different woman. [
Pause.
]
Unrecognizable. [
Turning
slightly
towards
him.
]
Or just now and then, come round this side just every now and then and let me feast
on you. [
Back
front.
]
But you can’t, I know. [
Head
down.
]
I know. [
Pause.
Head
up.
]
Well anyway – [
looks
at
toothbrush
in
her
hand
]
 
– can’t be long now – [
looks
at
brush
]
 
–
until the bell. [
Top
back
of
WILLIE
’s
head
appears
above
slope.
WINNIE
looks
closer
at
brush.
]
Fully guaranteed … [
head
up
]
… what’s this it was? [
WILLIE
’
s
hand
appears
with
handkerchief,
spreads
it
on
skull,
disappears.
]
Genuine pure … fully guaranteed … [
WILLIE
’
s
hand
appears
with
boater,
settles
it
on
head,
rakish
angle,
disappears
]
… genuine pure … ah! hog’s setae. [
Pause.
]
What is a hog exactly? [
Pause.
Turns
slightly
towards
 
WILLIE
.] What exactly is a hog, Willie, do you know, I can’t remember. [
Pause.
Turning
a
little
further,
pleading.
]
What
is
a hog, Willie, please! [
Pause.
]

WILLIE:
Castrated male swine. [
Happy
expression
appears
on
WINNIE
’
s
face.
]
Reared for slaughter. [
Happy
expression
increases
,
WILLIE
opens
newspaper,
hands
invisible.
Tops
of
yellow
sheets
appear
on
either
side
of
his
head. 
WINNIE
gazes
before
her
with
happy
expression.
]

WINNIE:
Oh this
is
a happy day! This will have been another happy day! [
Pause.
]
After all. [
Pause.
]
So far.

[
Pause.
Happy
expression
off.
WILLIE
turns
page.
Pause.
He
turns
another
page.
Pause.
]

WILLIE:
Opening for smart youth.

[
Pause.
 
WINNIE
takes
off
hat,
turns
to
put
it
in
bag,
arrests
gesture,
turns
back
front.
Smile.
]

WINNIE:
No. [
Smile
broader.
]
No no. [
Smile
off.
Puts
on
hat
again,
gazes
front,
pause.
]
And now? [
Pause.
]
Sing. [
Pause.
]
Sing your song, Winnie. [
Pause.
]
No? [
Pause.
] Then pray. [
Pause.
]
Pray your prayer, Winnie.

[
Pause,
 
WILLIE
turns
page.
Pause.
]

WILLIE:
Wanted bright boy.

[
Pause,
 
WILLIE
gazes
before
her.
WILLIE
turns
page.
Pause.
Newspaper
disappears.
Long
pause.
]

WINNIE:
Pray your old prayer, Winnie.

[
Long
pause.
]

CURTAIN

WINNIE:
Hail, holy light. [
Long
pause.
She
closes
her
eyes.
Bell
rings
loudly.
She
opens
eyes
at
once.
Bell
stops.
She
gazes
front.
Long
smile.
Smile
off.
Long
pause.
]
Someone is looking at me still. [
Pause.
]
Caring for me still. [
Pause.
] That is what I find so wonderful. [
Pause.
]
Eyes on my eyes. [
Pause.
]
What is that unforgettable line? [
Pause.
Eyes
right.
]
Willie. [
Pause.
Louder.
]
Willie. [
Pause.
Eyes
front.
] May one still speak of time? [
Pause.
]
Say it is a long time now, Willie, since I saw you. [
Pause.
]
Since I heard you. [
Pause.
]
May one? [
Pause.
]
One does. [
Smile.
]
The old style! [
Smile
off.
]
There is so little one can speak of. [
Pause.
]
One speaks of it all. [
Pause.
]
All one can. [
Pause.
] I used to think … [
pause
]
… I say I used to think that I would learn to talk alone. [
Pause.
]
By that I mean to myself, the wilderness. [
Smile.
]
But no. [
Smile
broader.
] No no. [
Smile
off.
]
Ergo you are there. [
Pause.
]
Oh no doubt you are dead, like the others, no doubt you have died, or gone away and
left me, like the others, it doesn’t matter, you are there. [
Pause.
Eyes
left.
]
The bag too is there, the same as ever, I can see it. [
Pause.
Eyes
right.
Louder.
]
The bag is there, Willie, as good as ever, the one you gave me that day … to go to
market. [
Pause.
Eyes
front.
]
That day. [
Pause.
]
What day? [
Pause.
]
I used to pray. [
Pause.
]
I say I used to pray. [
Pause.
]
Yes, I must confess I did. [
Smile.
]
Not now. [
Smile
broader.
]
No no. [
Smile
off.
Pause.
] Then … now … what difficulties here, for the mind. [
Pause.
]
To have been always what I am – and so changed from what I was. [
Pause.
]
I am the one, I say the one, then the other. [
Pause.
]
Now the one, then the other. [
Pause.
]
There is so little one can say, one says it all. [
Pause.
]
All one can. [
Pause.
]
And no truth in it anywhere. [
Pause.
]
My arms. [
Pause.
]
My breasts. [
Pause.
]
What arms? [
Pause.
]
What breasts? [
Pause.
]
Willie. [
Pause.
]
What Willie? [
Sudden
vehement
affirmation.
]
My Willie! [
Eyes
right,
calling.
] Willie! [
Pause.
Louder.
]
Willie! [
Pause.
Eyes
front.
]
Ah well, not to know, not to know for sure, great mercy, all I ask. [
Pause.
]
Ah yes … then … now … beechen green … this … Charlie … kisses … this … all that …
deep trouble for the mind. [
Pause.
]
But it does not trouble mine. [
Smile.
]
Not now. [
Smile
broader.
]
No no. [
Smile
off.
Long
pause.
She
closes
eyes.
Bell
rings
loudly.
She
opens
eyes.
Pause.
]
Eyes float up that seem to close in peace … to see … in peace. [
Pause.
]
Not mine. [
Smile.
]
Not now. [
Smile
broader.
]
No no. [
Smile
off.
Long
pause.
]
Willie. [
Pause.
]
Do you think the earth has lost its atmosphere, Willie? [
Pause.
] Do you, Willie? [
Pause.
]
You have no opinion? [
Pause.
]
Well that is like you, you never had any opinion about anything. [
Pause.
]
It’s understandable. [
Pause.
]
Most. [
Pause.
]
The earth ball. [
Pause.
]
I sometimes wonder. [
Pause.
]
Perhaps not quite all. [
Pause.
]
There always remains something. [
Pause.
] Of everything. [
Pause.
]
Some remains. [
Pause.
]
If the mind were to go. [
Pause.
]
It won’t of course. [
Pause.
]
Not quite. [
Pause.
]
Not mine. [
Smile.
]
Not now. [
Smile
broader.
]
No no. [
Smile
off.
Long
pause.
]
It might be the eternal cold. [
Pause.
]
Everlasting perishing cold. [
Pause.
]
Just chance, I take it, happy chance. [
Pause.
]
Oh yes, great mercies, great mercies. [
Pause.
]
And now? [
Long
pause.
]
The face. [
Pause.
]
The nose. [
She
squints
down.
]
I can see it … [
squinting
down
]
… the tip … the nostrils … breath of life … that curve you so admired … [
pouts
] … a hint of lip … [
pouts
again
]
… if I pout them out … [
sticks
out
tongue
]
… the tongue of course … you so admired … if I stick it out … [
sticks
it
out
again
]
… the tip … [
eyes
up
]
… suspicion of brow … eyebrow … imagination possibly … [
eyes
left
]
 
… cheek … no … [
eyes
right
]
… no … [
distends
cheeks
]
 
… even if I puff them out … [
eyes
left,
distends
cheeks
again
]
 
… no … no damask. [
Eyes
front.
]
That is all. [
Pause.
]
The bag of course … [
eyes
left
]
… a little blurred perhaps … but the bag. [
Eyes
front.
Offhand.
]
The earth of course and sky. [
Eyes
right.
]
The sunshade you gave me … that day … [
pause.
]
… that day … the lake … the reeds. [
Eyes
front.
Pause.
]
What day? [
Pause.
]
What reeds? [
Long
pause.
Eyes
close.
Bell
rings
loudly.
Eyes
open.
Pause.
Eyes
right.
]
Brownie of course. [
Pause.
]
You remember
Brownie
, Willie, I can see him. [
Pause.
]
Brownie is there, Willie, beside me. [
Pause.
Loud.
]
Brownie is there, Willie. [
Pause.
Eyes
front
.]
That is all. [
Pause.
]
What would I do without them? [
Pause
.]
What would I do without them, when words fail? [
Pause.
]
Gaze before me, with compressed lips. [
Long
pause
while
she
does
so.
]
I cannot. [
Pause.
]
Ah yes, great mercies, great mercies. [
Long
pause.
Low.
]
Sometimes
I hear sounds. [
Listening
expression.
Normal
voice.
] But not often. [
Pause.
]
They are a boon, sounds are a boon, they help me … through the day. [
Smile.
]
The old style! [
Smile
off
.]
Yes, those are happy days, when there are sounds. [
Pause.
]
When I hear sounds. [
Pause.
]
I used to think … [
pause
]
… I say I used to think they were in my head. [
Smile.
]
But no. [
Smile
broader.
]
No no. [
Smile
off
.] That was just logic. [
Pause.
]
Reason. [
Pause.
]
I have not lost my reason. [
Pause.
]
Not yet. [
Pause.
]
Not all. [
Pause.
] Some remains. [
Pause.
]
Sounds. [
Pause.
]
Like little … sunderings, little falls … apart. [
Pause.
Low.
]
it’s things, Willie. [
Pause.
Normal
voice.
]
In the bag, outside the bag. [
Pause.
]
Ah yes, things have their life, that is what I always say,
things
have a life. [
Pause.
]
Take my looking-glass, it doesn’t need me. [
Pause.
]
The bell. [
Pause.
]
It hurts like a knife. [
Pause.
]
A gouge. [
Pause.
]
One cannot ignore it. [
Pause.
]
How often … (
pause
]
… I say how often I have said, Ignore it, Winnie, ignore the bell, pay no heed, just
sleep and wake, sleep and wake, as you please, open and close the eyes, as you please,
or in the way you find most helpful. [
Pause.
]
Open and close the eyes, Winnie, open and close, always that. [
Pause.
]
But no. [
Smile.
]
Not now. [
Smile
broader.
]
No no. [
Smile
off
Pause.
]
What now? [
Pause.
]
What now, Willie? [
Long
pause.
]
There is my story of course, when all else fails. [
Pause.
]
A life. [
Smile.
] A long life. [
Smile
off
.]
Beginning in the womb, where life used to begin, Mildred has memories, she will have
memories, of the womb, before she dies, the mother’s womb. [
Pause.
]
She is now four or five already and has recently been given a big waxen dolly. [
Pause.
]
Fully clothed, complete outfit. [
Pause.
]
Shoes, socks, undies, complete set, frilly frock, gloves. [
Pause.
]
White mesh. [
Pause.
]
A little white straw hat with a chin elastic. [
Pause.
]
Pearly necklace. [
Pause.
]
A little picture-book with legends in real print to go under her arm when she takes
her walk. [
Pause.
]
China blue eyes that open and shut. [
Pause.
Narrative.
]
The sun was not well up when Milly rose, descended the steep … [
pause
]
… slipped on her nightgown, descended all alone the steep wooden stairs, backwards
on all fours, though she had been forbidden to do so, entered the … [
pause
]
… tiptoed down the silent passage, entered the nursery and began to undress Dolly.
[
Pause.
]
Crept under the table and began to undress Dolly. [
Pause.
]
Scolding her … the while. [
Pause.
] Suddenly a mouse – [
Long
pause.
]
Gently, Winnie. [
Long
pause.
Calling.
]
Willie! [
Pause.
Louder.
]
Willie! [
Pause.
Mild
reproach.
]
I sometimes find your attitude a little strange, Willie, all this time, it is not
like you to be wantonly cruel. [
Pause
.]
Strange? [
Pause
.]
No. [
Smile
.] Not here. [
Smile
broader.
]
Not now. [
Smile
off
.]
And yet … [
Suddenly
anxious.
]
I do hope nothing is amiss. [
Eyes
right,
loud.
]
Is all well, dear? (
Pause.
Eyes
front.
To
herself
.]
God grant he did not go in head foremost! [
Eyes
right,
loud.
]
You’re not stuck, Willie? [
Pause.
Do.
]
You’re not jammed, Willie? [
Eyes
front,
distressed.
]
Perhaps he is crying out for help all this time and I do not hear him! [
Pause.
]
I do of course hear cries. [
Pause.
]
But they are in
my head surely. [
Pause.
]
Is it possible that … [
Pause.
With
finality.
]
No no, my head was always full of cries. [
Pause.
]
Faint confused cries. [
Pause.
]
They come. [
Pause.
] Then go. [
Pause.
]
As on a wind. [
Pause.
]
That is what I find so wonderful. [
Pause.
]
They cease. [
Pause.
]
Ah yes, great mercies, great mercies. [
Pause.
]
The day is now well advanced. [
Smile.
Smile
off
.]
And yet it is perhaps a little soon for my song. [
Pause.
]
To sing too soon is fatal, I always find. [
Pause.
]
On the other hand it is possible to leave it too late. [
Pause.
]
The bell goes for sleep and one has not sung. [
Pause.
]
The whole day has flown – [
smile,
smile
off
]
– flown by, quite by, and no song of any class, kind or description. [
Pause.
]
There is a problem here. [
Pause.
]
One cannot sing … just like that, no. [
Pause.
]
It bubbles up, for some unknown reason, the time is ill chosen, one chokes it back.
[
Pause.
]
One says, Now is the time, it is now or never, and one cannot. [
Pause.
]