The Colour of Death (39 page)

Keeping his eyes locked on Kaidan’s, Fox did something he had never done with the killers he had confronted in the past.  He stepped closer to his subject, until he was only inches away.  “The thing is,” Fox continued, “your father’s a natural psychopath — on the Hare psychopathy checklist, I’m guessing he’d get close to a perfect score — but I don’t believe you are.  When you thought what you were doing was for some pseudo-divine purpose you could just about rationalize it, but when it affected those you cared about it tortured you.  I saw you exhibit shame when Sorcha accused your father of killing her mother.  I’m guessing Sorcha’s mother had been like a mother to you, too.  And when Sorcha got involved in the Great Work you found it ever harder to accept.  Not because she was usurping your position with your father but because you didn’t want her to go through what you had.  Your problem, though you can’t consciously admit it to yourself, is not that you hate Sorcha but that you
love
her.”

Kaidan turned away.  “You’re so full of shit.”

As he turned, Fox reached for the knife in his belt.  Kaidan tried to stop him but Fox was too quick.  When the big man lunged, Fox used Kaidan’s own impetus to roll him onto his back and push the knife up under his groin.  “That’s why you couldn’t do what your father ordered you to do on the day she fled,” Fox continued, barely missing a beat.  “And that’s why you killed those men in Portland.”

“I don’t have to listen to this bullshit.”

Fox pushed the blade harder against Kaidan’s groin.  “Yes, you do.  If I twist the knife to the right I’ll cut your femoral artery and you’ll bleed to death in seconds.  If I twist it to the left I’ll cut off your balls.”  Kaidan scowled, face blank and eyes dead, but said nothing so Fox continued.  “When Sorcha fled you begged your father to let you search for her — to find her and put right your failure.  But when you got to Portland something happened while you were searching for Sorcha.  Something  which distracted you..  A super-synaesthete like you must have found the city a sensory rollercoaster, especially coming from this place.  I’m guessing you were drawn to the seedier part of town, seeking out the most violent death echoes.  Old Town must be infested with them.  Am I right?”

Kaidan twisted suddenly and tried to throw him, but he was too clumsy and slow.  Fox easily rode the move and kept the knife blade pressed against Kaidan’s groin.  “Where did you chance upon Vince Vega, your first victim?  Was it walking down the street?  In a hotel?  In a bar?  You recognized him from the death echoes, didn’t you?  You knew what Vega had done and made a connection with your father and with Sorcha.”

Kaidan’s eyes widened in disbelief.  “It was in a bar.  When I was watching Sorcha on the news,” he said, before he could stop himself.

Fox nodded, trying not to betray relief that his hunch had been correct.  “You not only compared Vega with your father.  You contrasted him with Sorcha, who had saved those girls from the Russians and would be at your father’s mercy as soon as you delivered her to him.  You couldn’t defy the Seer directly but by punishing Vega you could feel like you were rebelling against the Seer and siding with Sorcha.  Defying your father — if only in the guise of Vega — and avenging his victims made you feel good about yourself for the first time since you were a child.  After killing Vega you sought out other men like him, rapists and murderers of women, in the target-rich hunting ground of Old Town.  They all became surrogates for your father.  When you killed them — in the same way they’d killed their victims — you were punishing your father, protecting Sorcha and avenging her mother.  You saw the killers as your father and the victims as Sorcha; that’s why you stapled her photograph to their faces.

“Despite your unquestioning loyalty to the Seer and despite all his talk of the Indigo Family’s genetic links to angels, you subconsciously believe he’s a demon.  The message you left at every crime scene expressed your inner conflict, your dilemma.  Should you serve your father or save Sorcha?  You knew you couldn’t do both.  I now think you broke into both the clinic and my aunt’s house because, in some half-assed way, you were trying to save her.  You knew your father was coming to reclaim Sorcha and wanted to take her somewhere safe, somewhere he could never find her — or you.”

Kaidan glared at him but said nothing.

“I know what your father wanted you to do when you failed him, Kaidan.  And I think he wants you to do it again tonight.  But you didn’t fail.  Don’t you understand that?  By defying him you succeeded.  Your better nature won.  Whatever you’ve done in the past, Kaidan, you can still become the person you want to be.  You are the choices you make now,
today
.  You didn’t want to hurt  your half-sister because you couldn’t.  You won’t accept it but…”

“But
what?
” snarled Kaidan.  “I love her?  I don’t love her. 
You
do.”

It was a schoolboy’s retort but it stopped Fox short for a moment.  In the silence he became aware of muted sounds outside:  birdsong, excited laughter and horses neighing.  He pushed his face close to Kaidan’s.  “The important thing is, Kaidan, you have the power to defy your father and stop this madness,” he said.  “You don’t have to serve the demon any more.  You can save the angel.  And by saving her you can save yourself.”

Fox saw something spark in the man’s eyes, a glimmer of understanding.  Kaidan opened his mouth and was about to speak when the door opened and the two Watchers stepped into the cabin.  “What are you going to do now?” Fox detected sadness in his smile.  Then Kaidan stopped smiling.  “Do it.  Use the knife.  Sever the artery or cut off my balls.  Either way you’ll save your precious Sorcha’s little problem.  Or haven’t
you
got the balls?”

It would be so easy:  one flick of his wrist and the man would bleed to death.  But it wasn’t easy.  Not for Fox.

Like a wild animal, Kaidan instantly sensed his hesitation.  Scowling in disgust he grabbed at Fox’s knife hand.  “You’re so fucking weak.  Get him off me,” he shouted to the Watchers, who cudgeled Fox with their rifles until he dropped the knife.  Kaidan got to his feet, picked up the blade and checked his groin.  Looking down at Fox he frowned.  “You should have done it.  Killing a man gets easier after the first one.  Trust me.”  He turned to leave.

“Save the angel, Kaidan,” Fox shouted after him.  “Don’t serve the demon.  There’ll be no turning back if you obey the Seer this time.  You’ll destroy the one person you love and be enslaved to your father forever.  Whatever he’s made you do in the past he can’t make you do this.  He can’t make you inseminate your own sister.”

At that moment the Wives appeared in the doorway, blocking Kaidan’s exit.  Sorcha was with them.  Shock and horror were etched on her pale face.

Chapter 60

Inseminate your own sister.  Sorcha’s mind froze as she tried to process Fox’s words.  She couldn’t, wouldn’t believe them.  But as Kaidan tried to push past her, more wreckage of her memory surfaced.  She remembered the weight of his body pressing down on her, the smell of his sweat, the redness of his face as he tore at her clothes.  Then she remembered running away, down the stairs, out of the tower.

What had happened?

“What did you do the day I left?” she said, grabbing her half-brother’s shoulder.  “What happened in the tower?”  He avoided her gaze and tried to push past, but she clung on.  “What did you do to me?”

“Nothing.  I did nothing.  Nothing happened.”

“What about tonight?” she said.

Kaidan pulled her hand from his shoulder.  “Try to understand something, Sorcha,” he hissed.  “This isn’t just your sacrifice.  It’s mine too.  I don’t choose to do this but we
both
have to play our part in the Great Work now.”

“This isn’t for any Great Work,” she said.  “This is for our sick father.  Nothing more.  Nothing less.”  She slapped him as hard as she could across the face.  Kaidan didn’t flinch.  Just turned and strode away.

The Wives pushed the Watchers after him.  “Go.  Leave us.  We must prepare them.”

Fox shepherded Sorcha into the small prayer room and blocked the doorway.  “How can you stand by and let his happen?” he shouted at the Wives as they tried to follow.  “How can you possibly justify incest?”

“That has no meaning here,” said Maria, holding her pregnant belly.  “The Indigo Family are all descended from angels and share the same bloodline.  We’re related to each other.  We’re
all
part of one family.”

“Let us past,” said Zara, carrying the pile of clothes.

“We have to prepare you for Esbat,” said Deva.  “You both need to be prepared.”

“Enough of this preparation bullshit!” Fox roared at them.  “Whatever robes you wear and whatever rituals you make up you’ll never ‘prepare’ me to be murdered or Sorcha to be raped by her own half-brother.”  He grabbed the robes and toiletries.  “Leave everything with us.  We’ll prepare ourselves.  No go and leave us alone.”

“But…”

He slammed the door in their faces.

“Why’s he doing this?” Sorcha said, still in shock.  “Why does my father want this?”

“Because you and Kaidan are the only two violets he’s produced and he needs more.  He’s tried to produce other violets but failed.  I guess he hopes you’ll produce not only more violets but purer ones, with even closer genetic ties to the fallen angels he believes you’re descended from.”

She remembered Eve telling her that although Aurora had been the only indigo to provide a violet heir and survive she hadn’t been able to produce any more.  So that was why the Seer had turned his attention to her.  She was the only viable brood mare for the violet stallion, her half-brother.  Sorcha shuddered.  “But what then?  Are we supposed to start a whole new bloodline?  It’s madness.”

“There’s a good chance Kaidan won’t do it,” Fox said.  “After talking with him I don’t think he’ll go through with it.  He still cares for you.”

“Cares for me?  How can you say that?  He tried to rape me.”

“He didn’t do it, though.  Couldn’t do it.  He told me it was the first and only time he’s failed your father.  That says something.”

Looking at Fox, she marveled at the calm way he talked of Kaidan as if he were merely a difficult patient.  She wanted to believe Fox was right and that her brother wouldn’t do this.  “So there’s hope?”

“There is for you,” he said, examining the thick white robes the Wives had left for them.  “Kaidan didn’t follow through before so he may not follow through again.  There’s less hope for me.”

“Why?”

“Because Kaidan’s never failed to kill before.  But I’m not going down without a fight.”  He put down the robes, picked up one of the stools in the corner and pointed to the door.  “Try and keep that closed for as long as you can.”  He raised the stool above his head, then threw it against the window, smashing the glass.

“What are you doing, Nathan?  We can’t escape.  There’s a grille over the window.”

“I’m not trying to escape.  Not yet.”

“Then what are you doing?” she asked as she heard footsteps running toward the door.

He moved toward the shattered window.  “Getting us some insurance.”

When Kaidan arrived in the Great Hall the preparations were virtually complete.  Although the Indigo Family ate their everyday meals in the refectory, at Esbat all children under puberty were fed early and settled in the cabins before the adults gathered in the Great Hall to celebrate the rite and break their fast.  The center of the large space had been cleared and the wooden floor covered with prayer mats.  Around the perimeter of the room were rows of long trestle tables laden with platters, goblets and cutlery and loaded with tureens of food and flasks of wine.  At the end of the hall was a raised dais of two tiers.  A large table, with three throne-like chairs at one end, dominated the first tier.  Arrangements of flowers decorated the tables and walls.  The most elaborate arrangement, an arch of violets crowned with white lilies, adorned the top tier of the dais.

The Seer stood by the top table straightening the large tapestry of the Vitruvian man hanging on the wall.  When Kaidan saw his father he thought of what Fox had told him.  The psychiatrist had talked a lot of bullshit but he was right about one thing:  Kaidan did have a superior aura to his father and needed to command his respect.  The thought of confronting him now, however, made his heart race.  With anybody else he could be ruthless and fearless but with the Seer he was still an insecure child, desperate for approval.  He watched his father pick up a flask and gesture to one of the helpers.  “Have the herb bags been placed in the wine?”

The man bowed and touched his forehead.  “Yes, Seer.”

“Good.”  Looking around the hall, the Seer’s eyes rested on the elaborate flower arrangement on the top tier of the dais and he smiled.  Then he saw his son and beckoned him over.  “Not long now, Kaidan.  Everything’s in place.”

“I need to talk to you about tonight.”

“I need to talk to you, too..  Come, walk with me.”

Outside, the sun was setting.  The sky was clear and the moon would soon appear above the sequoias.  Kaidan could feel the anticipation in the air as his father led him to a quiet part of the settlement, near the forbidden forest.  Excited groups of cult members bowed and tapped their foreheads in greeting when they passed.  “What do you want to talk to me about?” the Seer asked.

“It’s about Sorcha.”  As he took a deep breath and braced himself for his father’s rage, Kaidan nervously reached for his knife.  He almost wished Fox had used the blade on him.  It would have made things so much simpler.  If his father refused to listen to him now he might still threaten to use the knife on himself.  “I don’t want to do it tonight.  I’m
not
doing it tonight.”

The Seer studied him for a moment but remained calm.  “Why not?”

“I’ve done everything else you’ve asked of me.  Everything.  This is one thing I won’t do.  I can’t do.”

His father narrowed his eyes.  “You’re worried you
can’t
do it — or you
won’t
do it?  There are ways to help you get it done.”