The Colors of Love (30 page)

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from Vanessa Grant's

Seeing Stars

and

If You Loved Me

Excerpt from

Seeing Stars

by

Vanessa Grant

Chapter 1

Claire Welland slipped out the side door of the observatory, pausing to watch as pre-dawn gray seeped into the night sky.

"Star light, star bright," she'd chanted as a child, until her father gently corrected her. "Venus is a planet, sweetheart. Come outside and I'll show you the stars."

The stars were gone now, but the coming night would be the first of her four nights off. With clear skies forecast, she would search the sky with her own eight-inch telescope, although she knew the lens wasn't powerful enough to pick out the new comet between Orion's belt and his sword—the comet
she'd
discovered.

So ironic that the heavens' secrets were revealed in the building behind her, in a control room filled with computer monitors and instruments. She'd found the comet three weeks ago under windowless artificial light, staring at a monitor of the sky, herself hidden from the stars while the observatory's telescope searched.

Her first comet.

She hugged the pleasure to herself as she walked down the hill to the small house where Jennifer would be waiting. Jennifer was a novelist married to the observatory's senior technician, and over the past few months she and Claire had fallen into the habit of having breakfast together after Claire's night shifts.

When she arrived, Jennifer had just finished nursing her three-month-old baby.

"I'll burp her," Claire offered.

While Jenn made coffee and cracked eggs for omelets, Claire put the baby to her shoulder and gently rubbed Tammy's back. She was rewarded with a loud burp.

"Good baby," she crooned, enjoying the soft baby breath against her cheek. She watched Tammy's eyes droop, then felt the baby curve against her breast, sagging into instant sleep.

"You should have your own baby."

"No way," said Claire. "I'm not marrying a man just to get a child."

"There are other reasons." Jenn grinned. "Love, lust, friendship—"

"Hmm. Did you enjoy Tucson last night?"

"A whole evening without diapers. Fantastic—and I got an idea for my next book. I'm going to make some notes while Tammy's napping. What about you? Did you have a good night?"

"Really good, despite the telescope being down. I spent most of the night sorting through my in-basket and cleaning up old E-mails." She shifted the pleasant weight of the baby against her, wishing she
could
have her own, knowing it was neither sensible nor realistic. "I got an invitation to interview for the CTIO job, plus an invitation to my fifteen-year high school reunion in Port Townsend this July. Best of all, I got three confirmations on the comet. It looks like it really
is
my comet." She wished she could pick up the phone and call her father, feel his pleasure and pride. He'd died almost a year ago, but she still missed him.

" So you can go to the reunion to celebrate your comet."

She smiled at the idea, wondering what her high school class would make of her, fifteen years later, and what she'd make of them.

"I'll celebrate by buying a new lens for my telescope," she decided.

"Isn't Port Townsend that little place at the entrance to Puget Sound? Pacific Ocean, boats, old Victorian homes?"

"That's the place, but I'm not going." Her high school years had been painfully shy and she had no desire to revisit them.

Jennifer had a faraway look, as if she'd begun plotting one of her books. "July's perfect. You're on holidays, and my parents have a share of a luxury resort on Discovery Bay—that's close to Port Townsend, isn't it? I can get you a week there for next to nothing. They've got this bonus point system, and Mom's always offering us time. You'll go to the reunion, celebrate your comet. Even better, find the town bad boy and have a flaming affair. He's bound to be either divorced or single."

"You're crazy." The town bad boy....

"I'm talking sense, it just sounds crazy." Jennifer flipped the omelet. "It's bad enough that you're hidden away on a mountain in Arizona, but now you're planning to interview for CTIO. You're in danger of spending the rest of your life locked up in an observatory in South America. Go to your reunion first, have a fling."

"I have better things—"

"You wouldn't want to
marry
the guy you lusted after in high school, but an affair would be perfect."

"What makes you think I lusted after anyone?" Claire fought off an image of herself staring up into Blake McKenzie's black eyes... the fantasy of Blake's full lips coming down over hers, hard and dangerous... then soft and seductive.

"It's time you had some real excitement, Claire. Not stars, not telescopes. Down to earth
human
excitement. Sex."

"I'm an astronomer. I do stars, not affairs. I haven't had an affair since grad school. I'm too busy."

Jennifer delivered the omelet to a plate and placed it in front of Claire. "Tell me about the town bad boy."

Blake McKenzie, the boy who'd filled her teenage fantasies. Fifteen years after high school graduation, Blake would still be motorcycles and fast women, while Claire was quiet conversations and lonely mountaintops.

Not lonely, she corrected.

"There had to be a bad boy," insisted Jennifer, "You know the one. Every girl wanted him; parents had nightmares about him."

"Blake McKenzie," Claire admitted. "Black hair, black eyes, a killer smile and a very bad reputation. He never looked at me. Well, once. I walked into Chem class and tripped on something. He picked me up."

Her books had gone flying everywhere and he'd grabbed her arms with hard, callused hands.

"Watch where you're going," he'd growled, his voice vibrating in her chest.

She'd been flustered, speechless, staring up into eyes so black she thought she stood breathless under the heavens, trying to find just one more star in an inky black sky.

She'd been such a nerd during her high school years in Port Townsend, her eyes permanently focused on a book, uncomfortable when she looked up to find the world filled with complicated social rites: Blake McKenzie leaning over Lydia's locker, right next to Claire's... his face so close to Lydia's, shoulders sheltering her body, Lydia teasing him with her eyes, lips parted as if to sample an exotic chocolate.

Claire shook off the past and said firmly, "I'm not going to the reunion, and I'm certainly not having an affair with Blake McKenzie."

Chapter 2

Five minutes after entering Manresa Castle, Claire knew she shouldn't have come. She certainly hadn't intended to when she got the invitation. She'd written a quick, polite refusal, then tossed the invitation in a drawer and fully intended to forget it. She had neither time nor inclination for a high school reunion.

SORRY. I WON'T BE ABLE TO MAKE IT, she'd written, and she should have stuck with that decision—would have stuck with it if Jennifer hadn't been so insistent, making reservations at her parents' luxury resort and presenting them as a
fait accompli.
If it were anyone but Jenn, Claire would have been furious.

Somehow, inexplicably, she found it impossible to be angry with Jenn. And why not spend a few hours at the reunion? She wasn't a girl, trapped at an endless school dance her father insisted she attend because he was worried she'd become too studious. She was a woman with keys to her own SUV in her purse, the freedom to walk out if she found the whole thing too boring.

If she did walk out, she'd have to explain herself to Jennifer. Which meant that while she was an independent woman, she was also a woman who'd been thoroughly manipulated by her best friend.

She'd never been inside Manresa Castle before, but during her four years in Port Townsend, she'd woven a few fantasies around the old hotel on Castle Hill, its turrets and legendary ghosts.

She picked up a pamphlet in the lobby entrance, instructions for a Manresa Castle self-guided tour. She'd always wanted to explore the castle, and hadn't dreamed you could just walk in and do it without paying. Fifteen years ago, she wouldn't have had the nerve, but tomorrow she'd come back and absorb these elegant Victorian rooms. A quiet Saturday morning, perfect for strolling through the castle alone.

WELCOME BACK, announced a big banner strung across the far wall of Manresa's library. According to the pamphlet, the Jesuits had used this room as a choir loft for the chapel. The Jesuits would have been quieter, she decided with an inner smile. They'd have been shocked at tonight's pulsing voices and laughter, at the milling crowd, the short skirts and high heels.

Claire slid the pamphlet into her handbag, glad she'd decided to wear the pale blue dress she'd bought for last year's conference. Crashproof and inconspicuous, the dress would allow her to fade into the background among tonight's finery.

The crowd shifted and pushed her toward the registration table. She didn't recognize anyone.

"Hello," said a low-voiced woman with a sleek, scalp-hugging haircut. "Are you a guest?"

Claire recognized the other woman's eyes and frown.

"Hello, Lydia. I'm Claire Welland. I had the locker next to yours in our senior year."

Lydia's eyes widened. "You've changed."

"No glasses," explained Claire.

Lydia didn't look pleased at the change, although she needn't have worried. Her green dress left no doubt that she hadn't lost the lush, feminine figure that had kept a crowd of boys glued to her all through high school.

Claire filled out the form Lydia handed her, accepted a name tag, and promised herself she'd slip away right after dinner. Lydia was the only person she recognized, and the only thing she'd ever shared with the other woman was a row of lockers. Fifteen years had passed and she hadn't lived here long enough to be close friends with any of these people.