The Collector of Remarkable Stories (31 page)

A Wolf in Sheep's Clothing

In Torquere's chamber, the silence was almost deafening as Spider Beast stood defiantly in the great stone doorway flanked by several Dog Beasts. This time, however, it was Spider Beast who was in control.

"What is the meaning of this?" demanded Torquere, struggling to understand why his orders had not been followed. "Seize him!"

The Dog Beasts, however, simply lowered their heads and remained motionless.

"
Seize him!
" he shouted again, more urgently this time.

The room remained still for what seemed like an age before Spider Beast finally spoke: "Shout all you like, they won't listen to you."

"What have you done to them, you filthy little creature?!"

"I haven't done anything to them. Ask them! Go on. I didn't need to. They've been programmed to acquiesce to my orders since the day I created them."

A flash of recognition crossed Torquere's face and his eyes narrowed as he bent down to get a closer look. "It's been a while," he spat.

"Not long enough," replied Spider Beast dryly.

Torquere straightened back up, not once taking his eyes off Spider Beast. "So you have your army of Dogs back. You're welcome to them; nothing but a bunch of useless half-wits anyway."

A rumble of growls echoed round the chamber.

"Oh come now, Torquere. That's not true and you know it. They found you what you wanted; without them you wouldn't have the girl."

Torquere studied Spider Beast with suspicion.

"What
about
the girl?!" he hissed.

"You don't really need to ask that, do you?"

Torquere, still unable to fathom why Spider Beast had returned to his chamber after he'd ordered his Dog Beasts to destroy him, forced his finger nails into his forehead until drops of blood appeared. "You're talking in riddles," he growled darkly.

"
NO!
" shouted Spider Beast angrily. "You're being stupid. The girl belongs to me."

Torquere laughed and then spoke to Spider Beast as though addressing a small child. "You're a foolish little creature aren't you. Crazy as a ding-a-ling" He placed his hand across his heart and shook his head sympathetically. "You know, I feel quite sorry for you. Or I
would,
I'm sure, if I had any feelings so to speak of."

"You don't know what you're playing with."

"I'm willing to take the chance."

"You could destroy everything."

"And I might not."

The two looked at each other for some time.

"I only want the girl. I don't want The Big Invisible. You can keep that; do what you want with it. I only want the girl. She'll be of no use to you once you've extracted The Big Invisible."

"What's so special about the girl?"

Spider Beast didn't answer.

Torquere didn't know why Spider Beast was so desperate to save the girl, but he knew from experience that if Spider Beast was interested in something there
had
to be a good reason.

"And what if I want to keep the girl too?" he asked coolly.

Spider Beast reared up his front legs and hissed. "You won't succeed."

Torquere laughed again, louder this time, throwing back his head as he did so. Suddenly he stopped. Snapped his head back down. His eyes were wide. Angry. "Enough of this nonsense," he screeched, saliva spraying everywhere. "Take this tiresome creature out of my sight.
Do it now, NOW or ..."
Torquere lowered his chin and glared at Spider Beast menacingly. "
... or I'll do it myself!
"

The room remained still. Silent. No one moved or made a sound for the longest time.

The Dog Beasts were waiting for an instruction from Spider Beast following Torquere's threat, but he remained steadfast and silent until:

"Try it," he said.

Ferocimus stepped forward protectively. "Sire," he murmured, "it's a dangerous game you play."

But Torquere didn't need to be asked twice. Filled with rage at Ferocimus' treachery, he sprang at Spider Beast and, with every ounce of energy, smashed his foot down on the small mechanical creature, instantly flattening him.

Spider Beast stood no chance. In the following moments Torquere stamped, kicked and smashed Spider Beast into a mangled pulp. Nothing remained of him except a jumble of twisted metal and wires.

"Enough!" screamed Margie hysterically from the far side of the chamber. "Enough!"

It was enough to snap Torquere out of his frenzied attack. He stood up, stretching his back and neck to release the tension, then kicked the remains of Spider Beast to one side with his foot.

"Who," hissed Torquere, his attention now drawn to the army of Dog Beasts that surrounded him, "is responsible for this?"

Again, they remained silent. Built by Auguste decades before, they had been programmed to obey Torquere. But something had changed. Their allegiance had been swiftly altered and was now with Spider Beast. Or at least, they would have been had Spider Beast not just been obliterated. This was not supposed to happen. This was not part of the plan.

Sensing their confusion, Torquere charged towards one of the Dog Beasts and gave its face a hefty kick. The Dog Beast growled but lowered its head respectfully. A few other Dog Beasts surged forward, growled softly then moved back to their former positions.

Torquere would have tortured his army of canine soldiers for their disloyalty with the cruellest of punishments, but despite his anger, he had more important (and exciting) things to take care of. Today was a special day. A day of great celebration.

After months of great effort, he finally had Margie in his possession ... and more importantly The Big Invisible. He was just minutes away from having, in the palm of his hand, the ultimate power; the power to make people disappear from existence, to obliterate them from time and space. Lock, stock and barrel.

He wasn't going to let this little upset ruin his happiness. It was, he thought, a mere blip on an otherwise perfect day.

Across the other side of the chamber, a terrified Margie was already strapped into the Avellotractus machine.

Next to the Avellotractus machine (and in stark contrast to the machine's beauty) was its power source: a huge ugly wooden treadmill powered by Torquere's long suffering slave, Bufo. Poor Bufo was condemned to walk for hours on end, generating the energy that enabled Torquere to steal what he wanted from the bodies and souls of his victims; a beautiful smile, an ear for music, a mathematical brain ... It was labour of the most arduous and most servile kind.

Moments earlier, however, the wheel had ground to a slow halt as Bufo jumped off to watch the unfolding drama. He didn't know if Torquere would require his services. Not that he could really have done very much to help. He couldn't fight very well. Probably not at all. Years of being in Torquere's service had left him physically broken. He, himself, had endured the Avellotractus machine, having been one of the very first guinea pigs. He had no recollection of what it was that had been taken. He liked to think it was something nice. Something he could have been proud of. Good looks, an artistic gift or maybe even just a loving heart. Torquere would only tell him that it was something worthless, like him.

Now that Spider Beast had been destroyed, he hurriedly resumed his gruelling routine. Almost instantly a blue glow enveloped the Avellotractus machine and Margie's hair (at least the hair that was visible beneath the helmet) began to rise, as though filled with static electricity.

For a moment Margie struggled against her shackles. Her emotions had soared when Spider Beast re-entered the room; she thought he really had come to save her. And now he was gone. Just like that. What hope was there for her now. She closed her eyes and began to accept her fate, whatever it might be.

As Torquere made his way towards Margie, his head filled with grand notions of omnipotence, he heard a commotion behind him. Some of the Dog Beasts were cowering and trembling, others were growling and snapping at something unseen in front of them.

Torquere roared and scratched furiously at his forehead, enraged by yet another tiresome interruption. He spun around quickly and what he saw was unlike anything he had ever seen before. All the broken, mangled pieces of Spider Beast were sliding towards each other before snapping together like powerful magnets. Slowly the mangled metal unfurled and reformed. But this time there was to be no Spider Beast. The metal fragments were slowly taking on the form of a human skeleton, rising slowly from the feet upwards. Over this jagged frame grew skin and nails and hair. Clothes appeared as if by magic, growing from within the skeletal substructure.

It didn't take long for Torquere to realise exactly who was standing before him.

"Auguste!"

"Torquere!"

The two stared at each other for the longest time.

"How interesting of you to visit," hissed Torquere eventually, the words almost drying up in his throat.

"How interesting of you to say so," replied Auguste, scanning the room. "It's so nice to be back in human form. It was getting a little cramped in there." Placing his hands behind his back, he tilted his pelvis forward and stretched his spine until it gave an almighty crack. "Arachnids are somewhat overrated if you ask me."

"What do you want, Auguste?"

Auguste's eyes flashed in a way that made Torquere take a step back. "You
know
what I want."

"Ah yes, Margie May Langley, like I told your eight-legged alter ego, finders keepers."

"
You
didn't find her.
I
found her. The day she arrived in Limbuss."

Torquere sighed dramatically. "This is all so stupid.
You
want the girl.
I
want the gift she has to make people vanish from existence.
Surely
we can come to some kind of arrangement."

Auguste smiled politely and pulled his giant fob watch out of his pocket. "You know, I would have said yes an hour ago. Before you stamped on me. That hurt, you know. But it seems almost pointless now, since I'm going to destroy you anyway. Well
I'm
not," he casually corrected. "The Dogs are."

Ferocimus stepped forward and for the first time, Torquere looked nervous. "Now wait," he said, " You can take the girl." He turned to the Avellotractus machine and shouted for Bufo to release the girl. "Quick smart!" he bellowed.

Auguste shook his head. "No. Keep the girl in that machine of yours."

Both Ferocimus and Torquere looked at Auguste wide eyed.

Ferocimus bowed his head. "You are correct, Auguste. It is in her best interest for The Big Invisible to be removed. But Sire," he continued reverently, "the machine is not without its dangers."

"Listen Dog Beast," said Auguste, "your job is to follow orders, not to advise me on things that don't concern you."

"But the girl ..."

Auguste ignored Ferocimus and turned towards the Avellotractus machine. "The girl means nothing to me. Why do you think I packed her off to the Darkest of All Places? Do you really think they would have removed The Big Invisible and sent her back? She was never supposed to come back. I was
this
close to figuring out a way to transform the stories into energy and then I would have been the most powerful person in Limbuss! But YOU ... RUINED ... EVERYTHING by bringing her back!"

Torquere stared at Margie quizzically.

"You have no idea who she is, do you!" asked Auguste. "You've no idea how powerful that girl is; how much you'd
give
to be her. To collect the stories that power this universe. To create. Destroy."

Torquere's eyes widened. "The
Collector?
"

"I nearly had her. All those years ago. She was collecting a story from some stupid old stroke victim but she saw me and jumped. Hijacked the soul of a newly conceived human and, unbeknown to that person lived like a parasite within her. He looked across at Margie. "It was just a matter of time until she returned to Limbuss and I could destroy her once and for all before
the others
reached her."

"The others?"

"It's not just me who's been waiting for her return. Others have been searching for her and all the stories which have gone uncollected in the meantime."

"So, why didn't you just destroy her when she returned?"

"Because of The Big Invisible. Only the Darkest of All Things has the power to destroy that. I could have taken her to the Darkest of All Places myself, but I had work to do in the Emporium. Stories don't just get taken and processed by themselves. Lucky for me she had no memory when she arrived in Limbuss so I could feed her a story. It would have worked perfectly too; The Collector and her monster would have been lost in the Darkest of All Places and
(he drew his hand across his throat) if
you
hadn't interfered!"