The Cole Trilogy: The Physician, Shaman, and Matters of Choice (99 page)

By the time Lillian made her way to Shaman, her smile was strained. “Aunt Lillian,” he said. She wasn’t his aunt at all, but the Geigers and the Coles had been like kinfolk when he was growing up, and this was the way he’d always addressed her. Her eyes softened. “Hello, Rob J.,” she said, in the old, tender way; no one else called him that—it was what they called his father—but Lillian seldom had called him Shaman. She kissed him on the cheek and didn’t bother to say she was sorry.

From what she heard from Jason, she said, which was rare, because his letters had to come across the lines, her husband was healthy and didn’t seem to be in danger. An apothecary, he had been made steward of a small military hospital in Georgia when he had joined up, and now was commandant of a larger hospital on the banks of the James River in Virginia. His last letter, she said, contained the news that his brother, Joseph Reuben Geiger, a pharmacist like the other males in his family, but one who had turned cavalryman, had been killed in the fighting under Stuart.

Shaman nodded soberly, also not voicing the regrets people had come to take for granted.

And how were her children?

“Fine as fine. The boys have grown so, Jay won’t know them! They eat like tigers.”

“And Rachel?”

“She lost her husband, Joe Regensberg, last June. He died of typhoid fever, like your father.”

“Oh,” he said heavily. “I heard typhoid fever was common in Chicago last summer. Is she all right?”

“Oh, yes. Rachel is very well, as are her children. She has a son and a daughter.” Lillian hesitated. “She is seeing another man, a cousin of Joe’s.
Their engagement will be announced after her year of mourning has been completed.”

Ah. Surprising it should still matter so, twist in so deeply. “And how do you enjoy being a grandmother?”

“I like it very much,” she said, and, separating herself from him, passed on into quiet conversation with Mrs. Pratt, whose land adjoined the Geiger place.

Toward evening, Shaman heaped a plate with food and took it up to Alden Kimball’s stuffy little cabin that always smelled of wood smoke. The hired man sat on the bunk in his underwear, drinking from a jug. His feet were clean, he had bathed in honor of the funeral service. His other woolen undersuit, more gray than white, was hung to dry in the middle of the cabin, suspended by a cord tied between a nail in a beam and a stick placed between the shoulders.

Shaman shook his head when offered the jug. He sat in the single wooden chair and watched Alden eat. “Been up to me, I’d have buried Pa on our own land, overlooking the river.”

Alden shook his head. “She wouldn’t of stood for it. Be too close to the Injun woman’s grave. Before she was … killed,” he said carefully, “folks talked enough about them two. Your ma was somethin-awful jealous.”

Shaman was itching to ask questions about Makwa and his mother and father, but it didn’t feel right to gossip about his parents with Alden. Instead he waved good-bye and made his departure. It was dusk when he walked down to the river, to the ruins of Makwa-ikwa’s
hedonoso-te
. One end of the longhouse was intact, but the other end was fallen in, the logs and branches rotting, a certain home for snakes and rodents.

“I’m back,” he said.

He could feel Makwa’s presence. She had been dead a long time; what he felt for her now was regret that paled against his sorrow over his father. He wanted comfort, but all he felt was her terrible anger, so certainly that the hair rose on the back of his neck. Not far away was her grave, unmarked but carefully tended, the grass cut, the border transplanted with wild yellow day lilies that had been taken from a nearby patch along the riverbank. The green shoots were already spiking through the wet earth. He knew it must have been his father who had taken care of the grave, and he knelt and pulled a couple of weeds from among the flowers.

It was almost dark. He fancied he could feel Makwa trying to tell him
something. It had happened before, and he always half-believed that was why he could feel her rage, because she couldn’t tell him who had killed her. He wanted to ask her what he should do next, with Pa gone. The wind made ripples on the water. He could see the first pale stars, and he shivered. There was a lot of winter’s cold left, he thought as he went back to the house.

Next day he knew he should hang around the house in case there were laggard visitors, but he found he couldn’t. He put on working clothes and spent the morning dipping sheep with Alden. There were new lambs and he castrated the males among them, Alden claiming the prairie oysters to fry with eggs for his dinner.

In the afternoon, bathed and again wearing the black suit, Shaman sat in the parlor with his mother. “Best go through your father’s things and decide who’s to have what,” she said.

Even with her blond hair mostly gray, his mother was one of the most interesting women he had ever seen, with her beautiful long nose and sensitive mouth. Whatever it was that always got in their way was still there, but she could sense his reluctance. “It has to be done sooner or later, Robert,” she said.

She was getting ready to bring empty dishes and plates to the church, where they would be picked up by visitors who had brought food to the funeral, and he offered to take them over for her. But she wanted to visit with Reverend Blackmer. “You come too,” she said, but he shook his head, knowing it would entail a long session of listening to why he should allow himself to receive the holy spirit. Continually the literalness of his mother’s belief in heaven and in hell astonished him. Remembering her past arguments with his father, he knew she must be suffering special anguish now, because it had always tortured her that her husband, having refused baptism, wouldn’t be waiting for her in paradise.

She held up her hand and pointed to the open window. “Somebody comin on a horse.”

She listened for a while and gave him a bitter grin. “Woman asked Alden if the doctor’s here, says her husband’s hurt over to their place. Alden told her the doctor died. ‘Young doctor?’ she asks. Alden says, ‘Oh, him, no, he’s here.’”

Shaman thought it was funny too. Already she’d gone straight to where Rob J.’s medical bag waited in its customary place by the door, and she
handed it to her son. “Take the wagon, it’s all hitched up. I’ll go to church later.”

The woman was Liddy Geacher. She and her husband, Henry, had bought the Buchanan place while Shaman was away. He knew the way well, it was only a few miles. Geacher had fallen from the haymow. They found him still lying where he’d landed, breathing in shallow, painful gasps. He groaned when they tried to undress him, so Shaman cut away his clothing, careful to separate the seams so Mrs. Geacher could sew the garments together again. There was no blood, just nasty bruising and a puffed-up left ankle. From the bag Shaman took his father’s stethoscope. “Come here, please. I want you to tell me what you hear,” he said to the woman, and fitted the pieces into her ears. Mrs. Geacher’s eyes widened when he placed the bell to her husband’s chest. He let her listen for a good long time, holding the bell in his left hand while he felt the man’s pulse with the fingertips of his right hand.

“Thump-thump-thump-thump-thump!” she whispered.

Shaman smiled. Henry Geacher’s pulse was fast, and who could blame him? “What else you hear? Take your time.”

She listened at length.

“No soft crackling, like someone was crumpling dry straw?”

She shook her head. “Thump-thump-thump.”

Good. No broken rib had pierced a lung. He relieved her of the stethoscope and then went over every inch of Geacher’s surface with his hands. With no hearing, he had to be more careful and observant with every one of his other senses than most doctors. When he held the man’s hands, he nodded in satisfaction at what the Gift told him. Geacher had been lucky, landing on enough old hay to make the difference. He’d banged up his ribs, but Shaman couldn’t find any sign of a bad fracture. He thought the fifth through the eighth ribs probably were cracked, and possibly the ninth. When he bound the ribs, Geacher breathed easier. Shaman strapped up the ankle and then took a bottle of his father’s painkiller from the bag, mostly alcohol with a little morphia and a few herbs. “He’s going to hurt. Two teaspoonfuls every hour.”

A dollar for the house call, fifty cents for the dressings, fifty cents for the medicine. But only part of the job was done. The Geachers’ nearest neighbors were the Reismans, a ten-minute ride away. Shaman went there and talked to Tod Reisman and his son Dave, who agreed they could pitch
in and keep the Geacher farm going a week or so, till Henry was back on his feet.

He drove Boss slowly on the way home, savoring spring. The black earth was still too wet to plow. That morning in the Cole pastures he’d seen that the low flowers were arriving, bird’s-foot violet, orange puccoon, pink prairie phlox, and in a few weeks the plains would be alive with taller color at its brightest. With pleasure, he breathed in the familiar heavy sweetness of manured fields.

When he got home, the house was empty and the egg basket was missing from its hook, which meant his mother was in the henhouse. He didn’t seek her out. He examined the medical bag before replacing it by the door, as though he were seeing it for the first time. The leather was worn, but it was good cowhide and would last and last. Inside, the instruments, dressings, and medications were as his father’s own hands had arranged them, neat, in order, ready for anything.

Shaman went to the study and began a methodical inspection of his father’s belongings, rummaging through desk drawers, opening the leather chest, separating things into three categories: for his mother, first choice of all small objects that might hold emotional value; for Bigger, the half-dozen sweaters Sarah Cole had knitted from their own wool to keep the doctor warm on cold night calls, their father’s fishing and hunting equipment, and a treasure new enough so Shaman saw it for the first time, a Colt .44-caliber Texas Navy revolver with black-walnut grips and a nine-inch rifled barrel. The gun was a surprise and shock. Even though his pacifist father had agreed, finally, to treat Union troops, it was always with the clear understanding that he was a noncombatant who wouldn’t bear arms; why, then, had he purchased this obviously expensive weapon?

The medical books, the microscope, the medical bag, the pharmacy of herbs and drugs, would go to Shaman. In the chest under the microscope case was a collection of books, a number of volumes of stitched ledger paper.

When Shaman looked through them, he saw that they were his father’s lifetime journal.

The volume he picked at random had been written in 1842. Leafing through it, Shaman found a rich, haphazard collection of medical notes, pharmacology, and intimate thoughts. The journal was sprinkled with sketches—faces, anatomical drawings, a full-length nude drawing of a woman; she was, he realized, his mother. He studied the younger face and stared fascinated at forbidden flesh, aware that beneath the unmistakably
pregnant belly there had been a fetus that would become himself. He opened another volume that had been written earlier, when Robert Judson Cole was a young man in Boston, fresh off the boat from Scotland. It too contained a female nude, this time with a face unknown to Shaman, the features indistinct but the vulva drawn in clinical detail, and he found himself reading of a sexual affair his father had had with a woman in his boardinghouse.

As he read the entire account, he grew younger. The years fell away, his body regressed, the earth reversed its spinning, and the fragile mysteries and torments of youth were restored. He was a boy again, reading forbidden books in this library, looking for words and pictures that would reveal every one of the secret, base, perhaps thoroughly wonderful things men did with women. He stood and trembled, listening lest his father should emerge through the door and find him there.

Then he felt the vibration of the back door being firmly closed as his mother came in with her eggs, and he forced himself to close the book and replace it in the chest.

At supper he told his mother he had begun to go through his father’s belongings and would carry an empty box down from the attic in order to pack away the things that would go to his brother.

Between them hung the unspoken question of whether Alex was alive to return and use them, but then Sarah made up her mind to nod. “Good,” she said, obviously relieved that he was getting to the task.

That night, sleepless, he told himself reading the journals would make him a voyeur, an intruder into his parents’ lives, perhaps even into their bedroom, and that he must burn the books. But logic told him his father had written them to record the essence of his life, and now Shaman lay in the sagging bed and wondered what the truth had been about how Makwa-ikwa had lived and died, and worried lest truth might contain grievous dangers.

Finally he got up and lighted the lamp, carrying it down the hall stealthily so as not to awaken his mother.

He trimmed the smoking wick and turned the flame up as high as it would go. That produced a light barely adequate for reading. The study was uncomfortably cold, this time of night. But Shaman took the first book and started to read, and presently he was unaware of the illumination or the temperature, as he began to learn more than he had ever wanted to know about his father and about himself.

P
ART
T
WO
FRESH CANVAS, NEW PAINTING

March 11, 1839

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THE IMMIGRANT