The Clock (11 page)

The one good thing that came out of it was that Mr. Hoggart stayed away from me. He knew that there was talk against him in the village, and he didn't want to add to it. But I figured he still had a grudge against me, and when he thought the talk over Robert had died down, he'd try to get even.

Just to look at Mr. Hoggart, knowing that he'd killed Robert, made me feel sick and tremble. Oh, I hated him, I hated that waterwheel, I hated that mill. I had to get out of there. I'd stick it out until spring; I figured I could get through that. Then if Pa signed me on again—well, I didn't know what I'd do. I'd run away. I'd go down to New Haven, or New York, or even out west. But I wasn't going to stay in that mill. I'd kill myself first. I'd jump down on that waterwheel and let it grind me up the way it ground up Robert.

Running away wouldn't be easy, not for a girl anyway. Even grown women didn't travel on their own unless they were obliged to for some particular reason, and then they'd go by coach. Nobody thought twice of seeing a strange boy walking along a road, for they'd figure he was carrying a message or was sent by his pa or his master to fetch something. But anyone who saw a strange girl going along by herself would think it was dreadful odd, and would get to asking a lot of questions.

I'd have to dress up like a boy. I'd heard stories about women doing that. There was one. woman who became a sailor and went to sea for years until her ship was wrecked off Montauk, and when her body drifted in and they went to bury it, they found out she was a woman. I'd heard a lot of stories like that, so I knew that I could probably disguise myself as a boy all right. But where would I get boys' clothes? Oh, there would be a lot of problems to it. The truth is, I didn't want to run away. I was sure to be homesick in a strange place among strangers. I'd miss Ma something awful, and Pa, too, when you got down to it. I'd miss our house and our fields and even that blame merino ram. Oh, I wasn't going to run away if there was a way around it. But if I had to stay in the mill, I would.

Visiting the Browns' helped to take my mind off Robert. Hetty knew how I was feeling and chattered away about her bonnet and how many different colors of ribbon you could buy at the store, and such things. Talking to her cheered me up a little, and I went by there pretty frequently, and sometimes, if the weather was bad, I'd stay for the night. For a change Pa didn't bother me about being late getting home sometimes. He knew how I was feeling.

******

So
the weeks went by, and the end of my contract came closer. I kept counting the days, and visiting Hetty from time to time. One night I was coming home after seeing her, watching the moon rise over the snowy fields, making the evening near as bright as day, feeling sad and lonely and wishing time would speed up so I could get out of the mill.

I came to our farm lane, and turned in; and as I did I saw up ahead a creature so strange I came to a dead stop. It was bumping along slow in the bright moonlight, looking like a bear with horns, or a calf up on its hind legs. I shivered, and started to run; and the creature stopped, and sort of shifted around, and I saw that it was not an animal, but a human—a man carrying something on his back. He stood still a minute to shift his load, and I came up closer. I could make out a man with a saddle slung across his shoulders, and on top of the saddle were hung a pot and a long-handled skillet and some other things I couldn't make out. But as I came up right next to him, I saw it was Pa, and I knew right away what he'd done. He'd bought the saddle. And I knew the only way he could have bought it was to sign me on at the mill for another six months.

“Pa, you didn't. Pa, you wouldn't do that to me.”

“Annie, I don't want to hear anything about it. It's done. Besides, I think you've got Mr. Hoggart all wrong. He told me you were a good worker and he wants to keep you on. He said that if you were obedient and did what you were told, he might improve your position in time. Instead of working at the slubbing billy, he'd put you in charge of filling the lamps, cleaning them when they needed it, lighting them when it got dark. He said it was a much easier job, all the girls wanted it, but he'd give it to you if you behaved well.”

“Pa,” I cried. “Don't you see what he means by that?”

“Now, Annie, you've let your imagination run away with you. Perhaps there was an incident of some sort. I know that Mr. Hoggart has a weakness for drink, and I can allow that he said something he shouldn't have when he was drinking. But you shouldn't exaggerate.”

“Pa, I'm not exaggerating,” I shouted. “I'm not exaggerating.”

“Now, you listen to me, my girl,” he said, raising his voice. “I won't have you shouting at me. I've made my decision about this, and it's final. Everybody has a job to do in this world. Why should you think you're an exception?”

I tried to keep my voice down. “I don't mind working, Pa. But not in the mill. Not after what happened to Robert. I think about him all the time and it's making me crazy.”

Pa looked off away from me. “Annie, nobody's sure about that. It seems like Robert was just taking his turn along with the rest of them.”

“No,” I shouted. He reached back his hand to smack me. “I'm sorry,” I said. “I didn't mean to shout.”

He frowned at me. “Annie, since Robert died we've been mighty easy on you. Don't start taking advantage of it.”

I
didn't say anything. Then I said, “How long is it for?”

He couldn't look at me. He turned his eyes down to the ground, and then so as not to show weakness looked off at the moon again. “Only another six months. After that, if you still don't like it, I won't make you stay in the mill anymore.”

Our eyes met. It was almost like he was begging me to forgive him. But I couldn't. I hated him for what he'd done.

He turned, and with that saddle on his back and all those things in the saddle clanking like cowbells, he headed for the house. I stood there watching him go, hating him, hating Mr. Hoggart, hating the mill, hating Humphreysville. What was to become of me now? He'd go on signing me up at the mill year after year, using my wages to buy the things he had to have. Oh, I knew he couldn't help himself; once he got his mind set on having something, he couldn't rest until he'd got it. It wasn't any use trying to stop him. Ma had found that out a long time ago. And so I was stuck. There wouldn't be any way out, and I'd go on working at the mill for years and years, so desperate to get out I'd be willing to marry the first one who asked me.

And what was I getting for all my trouble? I'd come to be everybody's toy, for them to play with as they liked: Pa's toy and Mr. Hoggart's toy, and Colonel Humphreys' toy, when you got down to it. They all had something they wanted from me, and they were determined to get what they wanted. Me, I just didn't come into it, any way I could see. They'd got their minds made up as to what I must do, and what I should be, and that was the end of it. Nobody cared what I wanted; that was clear as day. All they were interested in was what they wanted from me.

Oh, I hated them all. And standing there in the moonlight, I knew I was going to run away. They hadn't given me any choice. But before I did, I was going to get the proof that Mr. Hoggart was stealing wool.

I would do anything to get even with him.

CHAPTER
TWELVE

S
O THERE
I
WAS
. Oh, it was as scary as could be. I wished I'd had someone to talk it over with. Sometimes I talked to Robert about it in my head, like he was still alive. I could hear his voice saying that running away would be mighty rough and risky. Then I would realize that Robert was dead and wasn't saying anything at all and I'd start to cry. After a while I decided not to talk to Robert anymore. Running away from your family was hard, but I had to.

So that was my plan. It scared me a good deal. For one thing, going off by myself, with nobody for company, was dreadful worrisome. Who would be there to help me if I fell sick? Who'd be there to brace me up when I felt lonely?

I knew I'd have to be smart about it. A lot of people would be after me. Pa and Ma would want me back, because I was their daughter, and they'd miss me. And of course Pa needed my salary to clear up his debts. Mr. Hoggart would want me back because he had a contract for six months' work. The justices of the peace would want me back, because girls weren't supposed to run away.

How would I do it? Where would I go? It wouldn't be safe for a girl to travel by herself any distance, into places where she wasn't known.

Where was I going to get a suit of boy's clothes? Actually, all I needed was a pair of trousers and a hat. That'd be enough. But where was Ito get trousers?

What about Tom Thrush? I wondered: Did he have any extra clothes? I figured he must have at least one extra pair of trousers. The boys were supposed to wash themselves and their clothes now and again. Colonel Humphreys had some kind of rule about that, so as to keep down the diseases and lice. I figured they each had to have at least one extra suit of clothes to wear while the main one was being washed.

I waited for my chance, and in a couple of days I cornered Tom at five o'clock after work. We waited there in the slubbing room until the others had all gone. Then I said, “Tom, can you keep a secret?”

“Yes, Miss Annie. I won't tell nobody.” He squinted at me. “You couldn't get it out of me with knives.”

I wasn't so sure of that. I'd heard Tom squeal pretty loud when Mr. Hoggart walloped him. He wasn't one for thinking things through before he spoke, and was always likely to let something slip. But I had to chance it. “You promise, Tom.”

“I swear to it. If I swear to anything, it's certain.”

“I'm going to run away.”

His
eyes got wide. “You mean it?”

“Yes.”

“You wouldn't be scairt?”

“No. Well, a little. But I'm going to do it.” He squinted at me for a minute, thinking—or whatever you would call it, in his case. Then he said, “I'll go with you, Miss Annie. We'll run off together.”

Well, I'd never thought of that, and it gave me a funny feeling. You couldn't trust Tom as far as you could throw him. He lied all the time, and stole anything he could, and he was likely to get us in trouble. But when the idea sunk in a little, I could see that it might have some advantages. Tom knew how to get around things. He'd spent most of his life looking after himself, and he knew a dreadful lot I didn't know. Besides, he'd be company. But I decided to be cautious. “I don't know, Tom. I wouldn't want to get you in trouble.”

“There never was a time when I wasn't in trouble, Miss Annie. I'm used to it. I wouldn't feel comfortable if I wasn't in trouble. It wouldn't be natural to me.”

“Well, maybe,” I said.

“Where was you figurin' on runnin' away to?”

“I don't know,” I said. “Maybe to New Haven. Maybe down to New York. Do you think we could find work if we went to New York?”

“What on earth would you want to work for, Miss Annie? There's more things lying around the docks than you could ever make off with. There ain't no point in working.”

I decided not to argue about that. But I could see that it might be a good idea to run away to New York, if Tom was to come along. He knew all about the place, and we wouldn't go hungry. “Tom, I can't go dressed as a girl. I've got to get some boys' clothes. Trousers and a hat would be enough. Can you lend me some?”

“Could if I was to go naked myself,” he said.

“You've only got one suit of clothes? Just the ones you have on?”

“What's the sense of having more? You can't wear but one pair of trousers and one shirt, can you?”

“What do you do when you wash them?”

“Wash them? Why, go naked until they dry.”

“Don't you freeze?” I said.

“Freeze? Who'd be fool enough to wash their clothes in the winter? You'd like to take your death.”

I decided not to argue with him about that. “Do you know any way to get at least some trousers?

He gave me a wink. “Don't you worry none about that, Miss Annie. I'll get you some
trousers.”

He'd steal them, that was clear. I didn't like the idea of that very much, but I couldn't see any way around it. So we shook hands on it.

We'd have to wait until warm weather came and the ground began to dry up—probably late April or May. That was a good six weeks off. I hated staying in the mill a minute more, much less a whole six weeks. But I wasn't going to leave until I'd found out about that wool Mr. Hoggart was stealing. I was going to find out about that if I died for it.

The first thing I had to do was get into that shed in the woods. I had to find out if Mr. Hoggart really was storing wool in it. For once I knew that, I'd be a step along the way to getting him in real trouble. But how was I to get in? The lock on the door was mighty big and strong. There wasn't any way I could break it off.

Was there some way to steal the key from Mr. Hoggart? That didn't seem likely. I didn't even know where he kept his keys, but I figured he didn't leave them lying around the mill where anybody could find them. He'd have them tied to his belt, or hidden somewhere. So that didn't seem likely.

What about chopping a hole in the back of the cabin? That was possible. I'd chopped enough kindling wood to know how to do it. It wouldn't take more than five minutes to bust a hole big enough to slide through.

But, of course, there wouldn't be any way to cover the hole up afterward. Next time Mr. Hoggart went out there he'd know somebody had found him out, and he'd get the wool out of there mighty quick. Besides, it was risky. You'd make a lot of noise busting a hole in the cabin with an ax. The sound of an ax carried a long way on a still day, even through the woods. Mr. Hoggart might well hear it, and come running.