The Clique (19 page)

              They sit down. “I’m sorry for what I did on Friday,” Aude says. “You’re right. It was my fault. I let myself get drunk, and I chose to do that dare.”

              Gabe’s eyes narrow. “I thought you said you didn’t remember.”

              “Yeah, well, I don’t. Not the whole thing, at least. But I remember getting dared, ‘cause I didn’t want to.”

              “Oh, that makes me feel better,” Gabe replies sarcastically.

              “I don’t know what to say!” Aude searches Gabe’s face for some sign of empathy. “Yeah, I made a stupid decision. Yeah, I like to drink. And this time, it got me into some trouble.”

              “Why
do
you drink so much, Aude?” Gabe looks out on the other soccer players getting ready for practice.

              Aude pulls off her non-prescription glasses. “Jenna never drank. Jackie never drank. Heck, Jules would die before she even came within ten feet of alcohol. I guess I just don’t wanna be like them, you know? They worked so hard in high school that they just forgot to
do
anything. And now all three of them are reaching the point where—Jules is planning her first baby, Gabe. Once that kid’s born, what kind of fun can she have? Her life is pretty much over.”

              Gabe turns back to face Audrey. A small smile spreads on his face. “Do you think, when your parents named you, they knew you were gonna be so much trouble? Like that’s why they didn’t give you a J name, ‘cause they knew you weren’t gonna be anything like your sisters?”

              Aude giggles. “Maybe. I always assumed they’d run out of J names that they liked.”

              “It is weird, though, isn’t it? I mean, they could’ve named you—I dunno, Jocelyn, or Jasmine, or Jade.”

              “Yeah, but none of those fit.”

              “I know. That’s what I’m trying to say. You’re so unique.” Gabe shakes his head. “Can I tell you the truth? When I watched that video, I was kinda pissed, yeah, but I was scared too. Scared that you were so drunk you would do something like that, so drunk you couldn’t even remember.”

              “I know. But I did remember part of it.”

              “Only a part, though. That’s what scares me. And what if one of those guys decided to push you further?  You might not even have been really aware of what he was doing. Do you get that?”

              Aude frowns. “Yeah, I guess. I just don’t know what to say. I’m sorry, Gabe.”

              He nods to himself. “What I want to hear you say—no, what I need to hear you say—is that you won’t get drunk like that ever again.”

              “But I don’t know if I can promise that.”

              “Why not?” Gabe scowls. “Seriously. What’s so wrong with agreeing to practice some fucking moderation?”

              Aude winces. “Hey, language.”

              “I’m not going to apologize. This is important; I’m not going to forgive you until you promise me you won’t ever drink like that again. You could have gone to the hospital. Don’t you remember Amanda?”

              Too well. Aude gulps. “Well, she had
way
too much way too quickly. I don’t do that.”

              “Doesn’t matter. Drinking to the point where you can’t remember what happened—where you end up dancing on some guy and barely remember doing it—is just as bad, in my book.”

              The coach whistles and gestures for Gabe to join the rest of the team. Aude sighs. “I’m sorry, baby. I won’t drink like that again.”

              “Never? You promise?”

              Aude holds up her pinky. “Never ever.”

“I thought you said you couldn’t pick me up,” Kate scowls at Aude. “’Cause your parents were so mad at you, remember?”

              Aude smiles. “But they aren’t anymore! At least, not as much… Here, look.” She thrusts a white letter in front of Kate.

              Kate unfolds the paper.
To whom it may concern, I have inspected Audrey Hughes and found irrefutable proof that she remains a virgin. Signed, Doctor Cornelius Godard.
She looks up. “Wait, so—“

              “So I couldn’t have slept with Sean. See? I wasn’t lying, Kate.”

              “Oh.” Kate stands in the doorway for several moments, processing. “Oh,” she repeats.

              Aude giggles. “Can we be friends again?”

              “I, uh, I guess I need to think about this.” She shuts the door gently and sits on a stair. Five, ten, fifteen minutes later, she still can’t reconcile the different thoughts running through her mind. The only thing clear to Kate is that she owes Aude an apology. Sure, Aude kissed Sean, but Kate can’t deny that the revenge she took more than evens that score. She stands up, walks to the door, and reopens it. “Aude, I’m so sorry.”

              “Don’t be. I’m just glad we can be friends again.” Aude pulls Kate into a hug.

              “Yeah.” Kate can’t manage a smile, but she wraps her arms around Aude. “You wanna come inside?” she asks, after they break.

              “Of course!” Aude grins. She sprints up to Kate’s room.

              Kate watches her go, wondering when she’ll ask about the video. At some point, it has to come up and, as justified as Kate felt when she thought Aude slept with Sean, knowing that she didn’t takes all of that away. Instead of feeling relief that her best friend didn’t betray her, all Kate feels is a sickening guilt. She heads upstairs and watches as Aude acts like nothing ever happened.

              Once they’re ready and in Aude’s car, she turns to Kate. “I think we need to talk. Would you mind ditching first with me?”

              “Uh, okay.”

              Aude drives to the nearest Starbucks, blasting Katy Perry and singing along merrily. She pulls into a parking space and flicks the radio off. “Okay, so now you know that I didn’t sleep with Sean. I did kiss him, though, and you need to know why.”

              Kate raises her eyebrows. “Why?”

              “Well, he wanted me to dump Gabe.” Aude frowns, her eyes wandering away from Kate. “And he was gonna dump you for me. But if I kissed him, then he said he wouldn’t… I’m sorry. Really, really sorry. I told him you were better than me, and that he should just be faithful to you, but…”

              “Uh huh.” Kate draws the two syllables out. “Aude, why don’t you just tell me the real reason?”

              “That is the real reason!” Aude insists. “He was just being weird, but I did it cause I knew how much it would hurt you if he—“

              “Cheated on me with my best friend?” Kate looks out the side window. “I mean, I’m glad you didn’t have sex with him, but it still kinda hurts. You know?”

              “I know.” Aude puts a hand on Kate’s shoulder. “And I’m sorry, truly. But please believe me when I tell you that the only reason I did it was for you.”

              “That isn’t even what hurts—well, yeah, it’s partly that.” Kate sighs, remembering Sean’s confession in the park. “But it’s also the fact that, after all this time, he was in love with you
.
I was with him for two years, but he had a crush on
you.”

              “Oh. I’m sorry, Kate. He didn’t deserve you. Any boy worth dating ought to see that you’re way better than I am.”

              “Thanks.” The hollow words do nothing to brighten Kate’s mood.

              “Any time. Kate, I wish I could help you see what I see. You’re smart and beautiful, and you’re gonna find a guy who recognizes that. I promise.”

              “Yeah, well, your promises haven’t been working out too well lately.”

              Aude frowns at her hands. “I also wanted you to know what it was like, getting that stupid virginity test.” She grimaces. “I kept telling myself it was the only way to convince you, and I guess it was… But Kate, it was like getting violated in the worst way possible. If you hadn’t been my best friend—I dunno, I probably would have done literally anything else.” She leans back into her seat.

              “Was it bad?” Kate asks.

              “Yeah, horrible. I don’t wanna describe the details, but like I said, I just wanted you to know that it wasn’t like a walk in the park or something. It was embarrassing, and awful.”

              “I’m sorry,” Kate says. “I should’ve just believed you.”

“It’s okay.” Aude smiles and claps her hands. “Now let’s get some coffee!”

              Normally, the Starbucks is filled with George Washington students and businesspeople stopping off for a morning fix, but today there’s only one other customer inside: a worn-out looking man at one of the corner tables.

              Aude steps up to the counter. “Two venti caramel frappucinos, please. With extra caramel.”

              The cashier, a cute blonde boy about their age, nods. “Your total comes out to nine fifty-seven.” He looks up to take Aude’s card. “Wait, I know you… Do you go to Fairview?”

              “Uh, no.” Aude gestures to Kate. “George Washington.”

              “Oh, right, of course.” The boy runs the credit card through and hands it back to Aude; behind him, a coworker starts on the order. “Your face looks familiar, though,” the boy says. “I just can’t remember where I saw it.” He frowns.

              Aude’s fingers tighten around Kate’s arm. “Um, it’s okay. Don’t worry about it.”

              Comprehension dawns on the boy’s face, and he flushes. “I’ll just—help make your coffee.” He spins around, although his coworker’s already finished both drinks.

              “Well, it was, uh, nice meeting you,” Aude says. She grabs the frappucinos from a green quartz counter, and hands one to Kate. “You wanna go outside?”

              “Sure.” The day hasn’t decided whether to be great or horrible yet: the sun’s peeking out behind some menacing storm clouds, lending the whole day a grey tint. Aude hangs back to say a quick goodbye to the boy, as well as something Kate can’t hear. She takes a chair facing away from the Starbucks—not that there’s anything to see, except concrete.

              “I really wish they hadn’t put that movie theater in.” Aude gestures to the huge red barn in front of them as she sits down next to Kate. “You used to be able to see the mountains from here.”

              “Yeah,” Kate agrees. “Remember when they first started building this place?”

              Aude nods. “Yeah, that was before we even met each other.” She giggles. “I was like six. Jenna and I would come here to play in the dirt, right where that Panera Bread is.”

              Kate sighs. Growing up with an older sister would have been so nice. “I never went here before they built the mall. We drove by it a few times, but that’s it.”

              The blonde boy pushes the door open. “Hey, do you girls want a pastry or something? We have some old ones, if you’re interested.”

              Aude turns around. “Yeah, I guess.”

              He closes the door, and returns a few moments later with three warm bear claws.

              “Thank you,” Aude and Kate say in unison.

              “You’re welcome. Mind if I eat with you?”

              “Uh, yeah, okay.” Aude gestures to an empty chair to Kate’s right.

              The boy sits down. “God, it’s so slow today.”

              “Mhm.” Kate takes a bite of her pastry, enjoying the squishy raspberry filling.

              “So you’re, um…“ the boy looks at Aude.

              “Audrey,” Aude finishes for him. “But everyone just calls me Aude. And this is Kate.”

              He nods. “Nice to meet you, Kate. And Aude. I’m Connor. Nice to meet you both.” He smiles. “So, shouldn’t you two be in school?”

              “Shouldn’t
you
?”

              Connor laughs. “Touché. I’m here ‘cause I have my first two periods off, but I’ve never seen you come in before.”

              “Yeah. We don’t usually have first hour off.” Kate takes another bite of her bear claw. “We skipped out to talk about some stuff.”

              Connor fake-gasps. “Ditching! Oh my lord, what will your parents think?”

              Aude giggles. “My parents are already mad at me, and Kate’s won’t even know. Don’t worry, we can take one day off.” She checks her phone. “Oh, we should be going, though. If we leave now, we can make it to the last few minutes of first.”

              “Why do we want to do that?” Kate asks.

              “’Cause, that way we can explain why we were gone, and Mr. Silveris won’t mark us absent. Hopefully.”

              Kate gives a small smile. “Carpe diem?”

              “Exactly.” Aude stands up. “Well, Connor, it was nice seeing you.”

              “Hold up,” Connor scribbles something on his pastry wrapper and hands it to Kate. “Text me, ‘k?”

              “Uh, yeah, sure.” Kate accepts the number. She hops into Aude’s car, and they make it to school just before the end of first period. Kate puts on a bashful face before creaking the door to their English class open. Everyone inside is busily scrawling, except for Mr. Silveris.