The Click Trilogy (67 page)
Authors: Lisa Becker
To: Renee Greene
Subject: Re: Quick Q
Wouldn't you?
From: Renee Greene – February 17, 2014 – 10:08 AM
To: PBCupLover
Subject: Re: Quick Q
Good point. Okay, tell her that I want to know and it's some sort of girl thing. You sounding clueless about girl things should satisfy her curiosity.
From: PBCupLover – February 17, 2014 – 10:09 AM
To: Renee Greene
Subject: Re: Quick Q
Not bad, actually. Okay. Be right back.
From: PBCupLover – February 17, 2014 – 10:12 AM
To: Renee Greene
Subject: Re: Quick Q
She said 5 feet. Can I get back to work now?
From: Renee Greene – February 17, 2014 – 10:13 AM
To: PBCupLover
Subject: Re: Quick Q
Yes, dear. Thank you. XO
From: Renee Greene – February 17, 2014 – 10:15 AM
To: Mark Finlay
Subject: Re: Blue Party Fun?
Ethan casually inquired (long story and I know how you hate that) and she said she was 5 feet tall. That's not that teeny. You're just really tall. Whaddaya say?
From: Renee Greene – February 17, 2014 – 11:16 AM
To: Mark Finlay
Subject: Re: Blue Party Fun?
Say yes!
From: Renee Greene – February 17, 2014 – 1:32 PM
To: Mark Finlay
Subject: Re: Blue Party Fun?
Say yes!
From: Renee Greene – February 18, 2014 – 9:02 AM
To: Mark Finlay
Subject: Re: Blue Party Fun?
Say yes!
From: Mark Finlay – February 18, 2014 – 10:06 AM
To: Renee Greene
Subject: Re: Blue Party Fun?
Alright. Alright already. Get me her number.
From: Renee Greene – February 18, 2014 – 10:07 AM
To: Mark Finlay
Subject: Re: Blue Party Fun?
Hurrah! I'll call you with it later.
From: Renee Greene – February 22, 2014 – 12:08 PM
To: Shelley Manning
Subject: Unbelievable!
Ethan and I were planning to register today, however he just got a "get out of jail free card" on the shopping and the truly ironic reason why goes beyond unbelievable to truly astonishing. Ethan is down at central booking bailing his boss out of jail. His boss!
Now granted, his boss is 24 years old. But still, he runs an ecommerce company that just went public and made him a millionaire – many times over – in a heartbeat. And although he's brilliant, he's also stupid as shit. Right after the IPO last week, he went out and bought a Maserati (and paid cash!)
Because of the way his ownership in the company was structured, he got a ton of cash up-front. Sadly, Ethan can't sell his stock for 12 months. Just praying that the stock price holds up a bit over the next year so he (and by "he" I really mean "we") can cash in. But I digress.
William is an immature idiot who just crashed his Maserati into a brick wall because he was high on ecstasy. Ethan's spent the better part of the day trying to track down where is he and how to get him out of jail. Astonishing, no?
From: Shelley Manning – February 22, 2014 – 2:35 PM
To: Renee Greene
Subject: Re: Unbelievable!
Say what? Ethan's going to be a millionaire? I should have cuddled more. ;) Thought you could use a little humor, no?
Now to the matter at hand…say what? Why would he call Ethan to bail him out? Doesn't he have anyone else in his life – like his mommy and daddy – for that? He is only 24 after all.
From now on, he will be known as Billy the Kid. And what a fool for throwing it all away.
From: Renee Greene – February 22, 2014 – 2:50 PM
To: Shelley Manning
Subject: Re: Unbelievable!
Oh, he didn't call Ethan. Get this. Billy the Kid (LOVE IT, by the way!) was out with one of these ladies (possibly of the night) that seem to be clinging onto him these past few months as (1) it became apparent he was going to be filthy rich and (2) he's been hitting the night life scene. I guess after years of slaving away on programming, he feels like it's his turn to party it up.
He's always texting Ethan about some chick he's "hanging and banging" as he puts he. He's quite the immature misogynist. Friday night, he texted Ethan about this one particular fling. Ethan finally texted him this morning to find out how his weekend went. (I think Ethan is living vicariously through Billy the Kid.)
Rather than a return text, he gets a call from Billy the Kid's phone. It isn't him but this chick he was "hanging and banging" on Friday. Apparently, he and she were at a club, got high and then he crashed his car into a light pole on Sunset Blvd. She had his phone and didn't know who to call to help him.
Billy the Kid had been sitting in jail for nearly two days. He got arrested and she took his phone with her to the hospital to be treated for minor scrapes and such. Ethan has been on the phone with the Sherriff's department and LAPD for over an hour trying to figure out where Billy the Kid is, how much is bail is, etc. Craziness!
From: Shelley Manning – February 22, 2014 – 3:15 PM
To: Renee Greene
Subject: Re: Unbelievable!
Let me see if I understand this. This ho (using terms Billy the Kid likely used) has his cell phone and she's reading through unflattering texts about herself from Billy the Kid to Ethan and she had the decency to call Ethan back instead of tossing the phone in the trash?
She must be a ho with a heart of gold. I would definitely not be that forgiving. Then again, Billy the Kid has a TON of money and I'm sure she wouldn't mind a "finder's fee" for finding him a way out of jail.
From: Renee Greene – February 22, 2014 – 3:20 PM
To: Shelley Manning
Subject: Re: Unbelievable!
I know, really! I've seen a few of the texts. Needless to say, he paints a much less than flattering picture of women. I would have let the guy suffer.
From: Shelley Manning – February 22, 2014 – 3:24 PM
To: Renee Greene
Subject: Re: Unbelievable!
Really? You would have let him suffer? I think not! You are much too nice of a person – even if you were a ho – to do that. You would be like the
Pretty Woman
of whores.
From: Renee Greene – February 22, 2014 – 3:26 PM
To: Shelley Manning
Subject: Re: Unbelievable!
Awww. That's so sweet of you to say.
From: Shelley Manning – February 22, 2014 – 3:28 PM
To: Renee Greene
Subject: Re: Unbelievable!
This truly has to be one of our more odd conversations. So what happened next?
From: Renee Greene – February 22, 2014 – 3:36 PM
To: Shelley Manning
Subject: Re: Unbelievable!
Ethan finally found that he spent the weekend in a cell at central booking but was about to be transferred to county lock up. His bail is $50,000. Thankfully no one – aside from our ho with a heart of gold – was hurt or it would probably have been a lot more.
Ethan is at a bail bondsman office now. He has to put 10% down and the bondsman will cover the rest. I told him to put it on our credit card so at least we'll get the miles. ;) I'm trying to earn enough to fly first class on our honeymoon.
From: Shelley Manning – February 22, 2014 – 3:39 PM
To: Renee Greene
Subject: Re: Unbelievable!
HA-LARIOUS! Leave it to you to find a wedding-related silver lining to this fiasco. Keep me posted. I can't wait to hear more.
From: Renee Greene – February 22, 2014 – 3:40 PM
To: Shelley Manning
Subject: Re: Unbelievable!
I will!
From: Shelley Manning – February 23, 2014 – 2:12 PM
To: Renee Greene
Subject: Re: Unbelievable!
Well?
From: Renee Greene – February 23, 2014 – 2:20 PM
To: Shelley Manning
Subject: Re: Unbelievable!
OMG! So here's the scoop. Billy the Kid freaked out and got out of the car right after the crash but was too high to call anyone for help. He tossed his phone to Stella (if that's her real name) and told her to call his parents. She must have been too high, shell shocked or stupid to do so.
When the police arrived, it was pretty apparent he was on something and he got arrested. I asked Ethan why he didn't call someone from jail. (As we've established, I am an expert in the legal system due to my many hours of watching
Law & Order,
so I know he had to have been offered a phone call.)
That idiot doesn't know anyone's phone number. They're all programmed into his phone. He didn't know
how
to call anyone. So he sat in that jail cell and wondered how long it would take before anyone figured out he was missing.
From: Shelley Manning – February 23, 2014 – 2:24 PM
To: Renee Greene
Subject: Re: Unbelievable!
Of course his first call would be to Mommy and Daddy. Ha-larious. Just goes to show you, you need to memorize an emergency number. Kids today can be so lazy.
From: Renee Greene – February 23, 2014 – 2:26 PM
To: Shelley Manning
Subject: Re: Unbelievable!
Kids today? He's 24. You're 31. It's not like you're old enough to be his mother. Or are you?
From: Shelley Manning – February 23, 2014 – 2:28 PM
To: Renee Greene
Subject: Re: Unbelievable!
Are you suggesting I had sex at age 8?!? Sweetie, I may be advanced, but that's just wrong.
From: Renee Greene – February 23, 2014 – 2:29 PM
To: Shelley Manning
Subject: Re: Unbelievable!
Yeah, as I think about it now, pretty gross. Sorry.
From: Shelley Manning – February 23, 2014 – 2:32 PM
To: Renee Greene
Subject: Re: Unbelievable!
So is he just horrified and embarrassed? I'm sure its got to be hard going into the office the next day knowing everyone there is talking about you. I mean that's never bothered me, but I'm a rare breed.
From: Renee Greene – February 23, 2014 – 2:37 PM
To: Shelley Manning
Subject: Re: Unbelievable!
You are a rare breed indeed. I don't think anyone else, aside from Ethan, me, you and Stella (our ho) knows. Ethan sure as heck won't tell anyone. He wants to keep his job and, not that he's prone to blackmail, but I think having this info on your boss is a bit of job security.
From: Shelley Manning – February 23, 2014 – 2:41 PM
To: Renee Greene
Subject: Re: Unbelievable!
I'm prone to blackmail. Another reason I'm a rare breed. Damn! I would be so embarrassed if I were him, even if it's just being embarrassed around Ethan.
From: Renee Greene – February 23, 2014 – 2:43 PM
To: Shelley Manning
Subject: Re: Unbelievable!
Yes, you are a confident woman with a penchant for blackmail but I don't think even you would want to rock the proverbial boat on this one. Too much at stake.
From: Shelley Manning – February 23, 2014 – 2:45 PM
To: Renee Greene
Subject: Re: Unbelievable!
Yes, I forgot, our dear Ethan is on his way to millions. Damn! I really should have cuddled more.
From: Renee Greene – February 23, 2014 – 2:47 PM
To: Shelley Manning
Subject: Re: Unbelievable!
Not to "millions" but certainly to a nice nest egg for us. I'll be sure to keep you posted on our financial status as well as his bosses impending court proceedings.
From: Shelley Manning – February 23, 2014 – 2:49 PM
To: Renee Greene
Subject: Re: Unbelievable!
Sounds great. Gotta run. Talk with you later, Sweetie. Mwah! Mwah!
