The Click Trilogy (25 page)

From: Renee Greene – May 19, 2012 – 8:54 AM

To: Shelley Manning, Ashley Price

Subject: Fwd: Plus one?!?

Looks like Mark is bringing a date to the wedding.  Her name is Cassidy and he’s quite smitten.  Check out his email below.  Should be fun.

From: Shelley Manning – May 19, 2012 – 10:02 AM

To: Renee Greene

Cc: Ashley Price

Subject: Re: Fwd: Plus one?!?

*BARF!* Cats, Reese Witherspoon rom coms and lemon bars?  She sounds dreadful.  Can’t wait to mock her incessantly.  Onward!

From: PBCupLover – May 19, 2012 – 1:15 PM

To: Renee Greene

Subject: Re: Fwd: Plus one?!?

Thanks, Babe.  I really appreciate how supportive you’ve been.  But seriously, it’s not that big of a deal.  It’s just a small tech company.  It really amazes me how brilliant these guys are, but how young they are, too.  Thankfully, they wanted a CFO who knows how to play foosball and, luckily, I spent hours upon hours doing so at the fraternity house.  Once the IPO goes through, I hopefully won’t get sacked for someone with more experience.  But if things go as planned, in a few years, the stock options should be worth a ton.  Then I can quit and retire to a quiet island getaway with my favorite girl.

As far as Mark and a date, that’s awesome.  I’m glad he’s found someone.  While I love your little group of girlfriends, they can be a bit quick to judge.  I just hope they give her a chance, for Mark’s sake.

Now that he’s got a girl, maybe you could make some plans for us to take them to dinner as a way to thank him for recommending me for the job?

From: Renee Greene – May 19, 2012 – 1:30 PM

To: PBCupLover

Subject: Re: Fwd: Plus one?!?

Great idea about Mark.  As soon as the wedding is over, I’ll get on that.  And that favorite girl better be me!

From: PBCupLover – May 19, 2012 – 1:31 PM

To: Renee Greene

Subject: Re: Fwd: Plus one?!?

It is, my love.  It is.

From: Renee Greene – May 19, 2012 – 1:31 PM

To: PBCupLover

Subject: Re: Fwd: Plus one?!?



From: Renee Greene – May 19, 2012 – 1:45 PM

To: Shelley Manning

Subject: Re: Fwd: Plus one?!?

Are you sure you don’t want to bring a date to the wedding?  There is plenty of room at the table for us to pull up another chair.

From: Shelley Manning – May 19, 2012 – 1:48 PM

To: Renee Greene

Subject: Re: Fwd: Plus one?!?

No.  Going stag is fine with me.

From: Renee Greene – May 19, 2012 – 2:07 PM

To: Shelley Manning

Subject: Re: Fwd: Plus one?!?

Come to think of it, they say weddings are a great place for men to score with women, right?  According to the movies, men seem to think that all of the single ladies at the wedding are depressed and secretly wishing that
they
were the ones getting married.  Little do they know, you are wholly unapologetic for your single status.  I’m sure a hook-up with some man who will be henceforth known as something ranging from “mildly amusing” to “pee-in-your-pants funny” is just around the corner.

From: Shelley Manning – May 19, 2012 – 2:10 PM

To: Renee Greene

Subject: Re: Fwd: Plus one?!?

Looks like you’ve got it all figured out, Sweetie.

From: Ashley Price – May 19, 2012 – 3:30 PM

To: Shelley Manning

Cc: Renee Greene

Subject: Re: Fwd: Plus one?!?

Barf, indeed!  (But come to think of it, I
do
like lemon bars and Reese Witherspoon for that matter.)  But back to Mark’s news.  Is that totally going to change the seating arrangements?  Knowing you, you’ve already got it figured out.  Actually, I can’t wait to meet her.  She sounds kind of cute and I’m just glad that Mark has
finally
found someone.  Great fun hanging with you at the dress fittings yesterday.

From: Shelley Manning – May 21, 2012 – 10:14 AM

To: Renee Greene

Subject: What can I do?

Feeling good about everything?  I know you are totally organized, but still, this is a big deal.  Anything I can do to help?

From: Renee Greene – May 21, 2012 – 10:18 AM

To: Shelley Manning

Subject: Re: What can I do?

You are so sweet to offer.  But I think everything is under control.  Just excited for all of the festivities.  I’ll see you at the hotel on Friday.

From: Shelley Manning – May 21, 2012 – 10:20 AM

To: Renee Greene

Subject: Re: What can I do?

Sounds great, Sweetie.  Mwah! Mwah!

From: PBCupLover – May 23, 2012 – 2:46 PM

To: Renee Greene

Subject: Miss You/Love You

Hey Babe.  I know it’s been a stressful few months and this week is getting even crazier.  Just want you to know how much I love you and miss seeing so much of you.  (And no, that’s not a comment about your size.  I’m learning your little self-deprecating tricks!)  I hope that once all of this wedding business is done, we can enjoy some time together.

From: Renee Greene – May 23, 2012 – 2:59 PM

To: PBCupLover

Subject: Re: Miss You/Love You

Yes, I agree, my little padawan (I’m using language I know
you’ll
get).  But seriously, I’ve been starving myself to fit into that dress, so I know I’m looking svelte.

I do miss you, too.  This wedding certainly is cramping my style a bit.  And honestly, I couldn’t say that to anyone but you.  Between the planning and your new job, it does seem like forever and a day since we’ve had some quality time.  But just knowing how much you love me keeps me going.  I’ll (hopefully) see you tonight.

XOXO, Me

From: Renee Greene – May 25, 2012 – 9:05 AM

To:

Subject: Rehearsal Dinner Reminder

Just a quick reminder that the rehearsal begins tonight at 5:00 sharp followed immediately by dinner at Te Quiero.

Chapter 2 – *GASP!* Shot Gun Wedding

From: Ashley Price – May 27, 2012 – 11:25 AM

To: Renee Greene

Subject: An April Apology

Thank you again for planning the most beautiful wedding ever.  I have no complaints.  I know!  It’s a first, isn’t it?  Even the nausea subsided for a few hours.  Seriously, it was wonderful and Greg and I can’t thank you enough.  I hope you will go enjoy yourself tomorrow.

On a separate note…fill me in!  I saw you and April having an intense conversation at the wedding.  What was THAT all about?

From: Renee Greene – May 27, 2012 – 11:45 AM

To: Ashley Price

Subject: Re: An April Apology

Don’t.  Stop.  Don’t stop!  (HA!)  Seriously, it was such a pleasure to do this for you, my friend.  I’m so happy to see
you
so happy.  I wish nothing but the best for you two.

Regarding April, this is interesting.  First off, who knew that Greg’s best friend was engaged to her?!?  Next time (not that there is going to be a next time, but you know what I mean) we need people to give me the names of their “plus ones,” so I’m not caught off guard.

She walked over and asked if she could speak to me privately for a moment.  I could feel my eyes ready to well up with tears.  I honestly felt like I was 9 years old again and she was going to tell me that I wasn’t pretty enough or cool enough to play handball with her.

But instead, she began by apologizing to me for being such a nasty shrew all throughout grade school and high school.  Apparently, she has a 4-year-old from a previous marriage and he has a mild form of autism.  He’s assimilating well and getting lots of outside therapy help. But it’s enough to make him different from the other kids.  And she’s totally fearful that he will be picked on and teased throughout his schooling.  She recognized that karma is a bitch.

She went on to tell me that even though she was horrible to me, she always respected me.  She relayed some story about how she tattled on Brandi Chauncey for drawing a picture of the teacher that was less than appropriate and all of the girls got mad at her.  So they gave her the dreaded “silent treatment.”  The only person who would talk to her was me.

She even brought cupcakes in for the class for her birthday.  Everyone sang, but when it came to the part in the song to sing, “happy birthday dear April,” they all left the “dear April” out.  Then they proceeded to eat the cupcakes.  Naturally!

Even though all of the other girls kept pressing me not to talk to her, I did.  I let her eat lunch with me for two weeks.  And once her silent treatment was over, she went right on being friends with all of those mean girls and also right back to treating me like shit.

I have no recollection of this particular two-week ordeal, although the theme is all too familiar.  So she apologized and asked me to forgive her.

What could I say?  “No!  You suffer, bitch!”  HA!  I said something along the lines of, “thank you for your sincere apology, consider us cool, and best of luck with your son.”

It was surreal.  I must confess, my brain has entertained the occasional revenge fantasy when it comes to her. But honestly, it was a long time ago, and she was sincere, and now it’s just time to let it go.

And thank you again for the spa gift certificate.  I can’t wait to have a day to pamper myself.  I only wish you could join me.  But I know you are off to an island paradise.  Even though you can’t booze it up, I hope you’ll still find something to drink that involves a colorful umbrella and a spear of fruit.

From: Ashley Price – May 27, 2012 – 12:23 PM

To: Renee Greene

Subject: Re: An April Apology

Really?!? You are a bigger woman than I am.  (And no, that’s not some joke about your weight.)  Honestly, you looked really good in the dress that I picked out.  I would say that it’s something you could wear again.  But let’s be real here.  I know that’s not the case.  Thanks for wearing what I wanted you to wear, and wearing your hair up.  Again, you looked great.

Oh, don’t you worry about me celebrating.  While a cocktail is out of the question, there are definitely plenty of yummy, fruity things that I can imbibe.  Just keep the chicken away from me.  For some reason, I’ve started this insane aversion to poultry.

From: Renee Greene – May 27, 2012 – 12:25 PM

To: Ashley Price

Subject: Re: An April Apology

A poultry aversion?  Is that normal for pregnant women?

From: Ashley Price – May 27, 2012 – 12:53 PM

To: Renee Greene

Subject: Re: An April Apology

Oh, who knows!?! I’ve read the books, and everything and anything seems to be possible.  And when I’ve talked to the doctor about any weird aches and pains I’m starting to get, he says, “Oh, that’s normal.” It’s really starting to anger me.  Then I figured that anger is probably a side effect of pregnancy, too.

From: Renee Greene – May 27, 2012 – 1:03 PM

To: Ashley Price

Subject: Re: An April Apology

Well, I will keep my fingers crossed that there are no dishes with chickens, game hens, ducks, turkeys, geese or ostrich within your view this week.  Have the BEST time and call me when you’re back.  Feel good, too.  Auntie Renee already loves her sweet angel.

From: Ashley Price – May 27, 2012 – 1:10 PM

To: Renee Greene

Subject: Re: An April Apology

Thanks, Renee.  I’ll call you when we return.  Say hi to Ethan for us and we’ll all have a poultry-free dinner when we’re back.

From: Shelley Manning – May 28, 2012 – 9:03 AM

To: Renee Greene

Subject: Mean April

So
that
was “mean April” that you once talked about.  She seemed pretty harmless to me, but then again, I didn’t have to deal with her when she was a pre-teen Machiavellian bitch.  You mentioned that she apologized for being so cruel in school and you forgave her.  What’s the real skinny?

From: Renee Greene – May 28, 2012 – 9:45 AM

To: Shelley Manning

Subject: Re: Mean April

First off, thank you for using the word “skinny” in your email to me.  I’m glad to know my little “pre-wedding diet to squeeze myself into that not-so-hideous but still oh-so-bridesmaidsy dress” that Ashley picked out had paid off a bit.  ;)

Regarding April, that was just, honestly, a surreal experience.  As I told Ashley, what could I really say to her?  “No!  You suffer bitch!”?

Yes, there was a part of me – the little girl who still suffers impossibly low self-esteem from being at the hands of this evil tween – that wanted to tell her how unforgiveable her behavior was and that I’m scarred for life.

And then there was a bigger part of me so exhausted from planning this wedding that I didn’t have the energy to really let her have it.

But for the most part, despite it all, I think I turned out okay.  We’ve grown up and she was sincere in feeling bad for her behavior, so I said we were cool and walked away.

I just didn’t think I would:  a) ever see her again; b) get a long-overdue apology; or c) bump into her at Ashley’s wedding.  But fate works in strange ways.

For now, I’m just thrilled Ashley and Greg got hitched without a hitch (clever, aren’t I?) and I can take a breather.  Between planning this wedding, my own work, and Ethan’s new job, I feel like I haven’t seen my man in ages.  I look forward to a quiet evening with him tonight.  And Ashley was kind enough to book a spa day for me tomorrow complete with facial, massage and mani/pedi.  Want to come along?

From: Shelley Manning – May 28, 2012 – 10:03 AM

To: Renee Greene

Subject: Re: Mean April

Wow!  You are a far more forgiving person than I am.  I would have read her the riot act.  That’s why you are the lovely, classy gal that you are and I’m…well…me.  Wish I could do the spa day.  I don’t have any vacation days, sick days, roll over days, etc. from work.  Enjoy, enjoy.  You deserve it!

From: Renee Greene – May 28, 2012 – 10:07 AM

To: Shelley Manning

Subject: Re: Mean April

I have a feeling you would have never let yourself get bullied like I did growing up.  For a woman who is “all woman,” you were born with one large set of you-know-whats.  Lunch at Mel’s this week?

From: Shelley Manning – May 28, 2012 – 10:11 AM

To: Renee Greene

Subject: Re: Mean April

True!  I’ve been called ballsy, among other things. Enjoy your spa day, Sweetie.  I’ll call you later in the week to catch up and plan lunch.  Mwah!  Mwah!

From: Renee Greene – May 29, 2012 – 8:25 AM

To: Ashley Price

Subject: A New Woman!

Hi Ashley.  I know you are probably not checking emails on your honeymoon/babymoon, but wanted to say thanks again for the spa day.  I was massaged, scrubbed, softened, polished and pampered.  Between the scalp massage and the fancy pedicure, it was – literally – pampering from head to toe.  I feel like a new woman.  So again, my sincerest thanks.

Hope you and Greg are having a wonderful, relaxing, romantic time and taking care of my sweet angel.  I’ll see you when you’re back.

From: Ashley Price – May 31, 2012 – 7:55 PM

To: Renee Greene

Subject: Re: A New Woman!

You are so welcome.  I feel like it wasn’t really enough to thank you for planning the wedding.  Watching you in action, I have a new respect for what you do.  Not that I didn’t have a lot of respect for your work before.  I just have a much better appreciation for your efforts.

While I had promised myself I would be “unplugged” and just relax, I honestly can’t sit still.  Despite the lingering nausea (just my luck!), I must be getting that second trimester “burst of energy” that everyone was talking about.  All I want to do is clean something.  What a waste of an island vacation!

From: Renee Greene – June 1, 2012 – 8:53 AM

To: Ashley Price

Subject: Re: A New Woman!

Save up that energy, girl.  When you get home, and you’ve finished cleaning out every cupboard in your place, you can come over to my house and organize.  Yes, I know.  You think I’m so organized.  But really, I have a deep dark secret.  I’m only organized…on the outside.  Open any cupboard, drawer or closet in my house at your own risk.  You just might find yourself buried underneath a pile of clothes, plastic storage containers, cosmetics, etc.  Let’s just say, “peril abounds!”

But enough about my scandalous secret.  Hope you are feeling well, having fun, enjoying yourself, etc.  Miss you already and can’t wait to see pix when you return.  Hugs to Greg!

From: Ashley Price – June 1, 2012 – 12:43 PM

To: Renee Greene

Subject: Re: A New Woman!

Wow!  I had no idea you were a closet slob – and not just in your closets.  Honestly, that makes me feel a bit better – finding out that you’re not so perfect.  ;)  Yes, for all of my comments, which you now so quickly point out, I do think you’re pretty near perfect.  If we could only fix that hair.  Okay, I’ve got to sign off.  Greg wants me to stay out of the computer center at the hotel.  He says I need to relax.  I’ll call you when we’re back.