The Christmas Throwaway (13 page)

Ben frowned, reaching out to touch Zach, his frown deepening when Zach couldn't help himself. He moved back.

"Talk to me, Zach."

Time stood still. He thought that was a cliché, but it really did stop between one heartbeat and the next. He moved his hand to cover Ben's and then to Ben's face, tracing his jawbone.

"I've been doing research," he started, leaning closer and kissing Ben on the lips once, before moving back and reaching into his pocket. He suddenly felt so damn shy.

How did people do this? He was nearly twenty, and he didn't freaking know how to ask for what he wanted. He dropped his hand from Ben's face and reached into the bag, grabbing a handful of stuff and lifting it out. Ben looked down, a flash of incredulous surprise wiping away the 143

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frown.

"I have condoms," Zach thrust them at Ben,

"different sizes, 'cause I didn't know, and two different lubes. One of them is heated, and they had flavored ones, but I wasn't sure what you liked, so I got two of the popular ones."

"Jesus, Zach." Zach dropped his gaze. Ben didn't sound angry, or amused, or even completely overcome with lust as he had hoped. Instead, he sounded more as if he had gone into shock, and suddenly Zach felt uncertain.

"I've done it wrong, haven't I?" he asked miserably.

"I just wanted you to know that I was ready and that—"

Ben swallowed the words with a heated kiss,

pushing Zach against the wall and then backing off, concern carved into his face.

"I'm so much older than you, Zach."

"No," Zach returned quickly, so quickly he stumbled over his words, his tongue darting out to taste the kiss that Ben had planted on him. "You aren't too old for me, I'm not too young for you, we're just right." A flush of excitement started to build in him at the hooded intense gaze he was receiving, and he was hard and uncomfortable in his form-fitting jeans in the space of seconds.

"Bedroom," Zach growled, grabbing Ben's free 144

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hand and pulling him to the stairs.

Zach wanted to stop and kiss, but Ben wasn't

stopping, leaping up the stairs and straight to the left off of the landing, towing Zach into his room. The bed was still disheveled from where he had slept. He started to strip, pulling the sweats from his hips. Zach just stood there, gaping. Seeing Ben naked for the first time was like every single fantasy coming true.

He was struck dumb, the supplies dropping on the

bed where they clattered and fell in a disorganized pile. He hesitated, looking into Ben's clear eyes. They showed a healthy dose of lust.

He smiled, consciously trying to make it more of a grin, but knowing it probably came off as more lecherous than plain happy. He pulled his jacket off, his shirt, and his T-shirt. Then with careful deliberation, in case he tripped over himself, he toed off his sneakers and pulled off his socks. Unbuttoning his fly was the last hurdle, and he achieved it quickly and efficiently until the jeans were a pool of denim on the floor and he stood in nothing but his boxers, his erection embarrassingly obvious.

Ben only waited until that moment, and with a

muffled groan, he took that single step that had him up close and personal, his hands resting on Zach's hips.

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"You okay?" he asked softly, and Zach found himself smiling at the question. He was far from okay. He was so damn hard it was almost painful, and he just wanted to be told what to do. Research had given him the basics, Tab A into Slot B using Product C after ensuring Product D

is firmly in place. The mechanics of it were simple. The prospect, however, of having an A that big anywhere near his B was mildly worrying.

He was starting to stress. He could feel himself

tensing, knew it was the turn of a coin whether he bottled it and ran, or stayed and made love with this gorgeous man who was capable of teaching him so much. Ben took the decision away, moving one hand to curl into his hair and pull his head down for a kiss. Zach wasn't completely comfortable in his own skin at the best of times. He thought he was too tall and ungainly. That single kiss, though, was enough to make him feel wanted. Beautiful, inside and out.

The kiss deepened, Zach slanting his head until he could taste more of Ben, sucking on Ben's tongue and then sweeping his own across the roof of his lover's mouth. He couldn't get enough, shuffling closer to press himself against the shorter man, chasing the kiss as Ben backed off and pressed gently on his chest to move him towards the bed.

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"More," Zach muttered as he pulled on Ben's hand.

"Uh huh," Ben agreed. One shove and Zach was half on the bed and half off, scooting up until his whole frame was supported. Ben climbed over him to draw him into a sloppy open-mouthed kiss.

"I've been looking at some websites," Zach half whispered, wincing as Ben looked at him with a curious gaze, "I'm not sure on how this all works…" He waved a hand between them, indicating sex.

"Uh huh." Ben went back to kissing and holding and stroking Zach's face, his left elbow supporting his weight, his right hand trailing a path from throat to temple, tracing a pattern on Zach's heated skin.

"So can you maybe show… guh," Ben's hand had moved lower to sketch around his hard nipple, pulling on the nub, twisting gently. Lightning traveled straight to Zach's dick, and he couldn't form a coherent sentence. He suddenly realized his own hands weren't moving, but gripping the bedclothes. He groaned into Ben's mouth as a very sure hand moved lower, twisting into the curls at the base of his dick.

"Your hands, Zach…" Ben pleaded. His words were short and harsh amongst the endless kissing.

It galvanized Zach into action, and in one smooth 147

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move, he pulled Ben to lie flat on him, craving the weight pinning him down. Ben's hand was trapped between them, Ben's dick rubbing at his hip bone, thrusting hard against him, so close— a hand pulling, twisting, searching, teeth on his nipples, a bite, a suckle. It was the most erotic thing Zach had ever felt, Ben naked and writhing against him, and an orgasm was building in the base of his spine. Crap, he was gonna lose it too quickly. They needed to slow down.

"Please… I'm gonna… We've gotta…"

"I need to see you lose it."

"I can't, I'm gonna—"

"Come on."

Zach lost it, white heat radiating from his head to his toes. He arched up into Ben, hearing and feeling an answering release from Ben, a gasp, a groan, a sigh.

"I've wanted you so much. Shit. I couldn't stop. I'm sorry…" Ben was saying something, but Zach really wasn't listening. The intensity of the orgasm had rendered him incapable of conscious thought, and his cock was twitching against his stomach. His nipples ached from Ben using them to push him so damn high so damn fast. Bliss.

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They finally separated when the cold and damp

pushed its way through the neediness of contact and made them roll off the bed. Ben led Zach by the hand to the bathroom, turning back briefly just to check to see that he was okay.

He looked tired, but he also looked more relaxed

and loose, and he seemed more than happy to let Ben pull him about. One-handed, Ben started the water running then encouraged his new lover into the shower, propping him up against the tile and lathering up his hands. He soaped Zach across the chest, over shoulders, around the neck, massaging his flat stomach with soothing gentling strokes.

Zach had filled out on Mom's cooking. It was a good thing to see. Ben hadn't much liked looking at gaunt Zach. It reminded him too much of how close he had been to maybe never meeting his lover. He had fallen in love with skinny Zach, and now held softly-muscled Zack in his arms.

"Gorgeous," he said simply and locked his hands around Zach's back, pulling him close. He tilted his head and dived in for a heated open-mouthed kiss, and his hands slid down, resting at the base of Zach's spine, aligning them, both hard again. Ben groaned low in his throat, their tongues mingling, heated and insistent. There was a battle for taste and touch as Zach became more confident, hard 149

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against hard — a fight for control. It excited him and scared him equally, and he pulled back to watch Zach arch his head back, his neck bared to Ben's teeth and lips, his groin rough against Ben's, pushing for friction.

A primal urge pushed from somewhere deep inside

Ben. He wanted to mark that pale skin, to own this amazing man in his arms. He kissed Zach's open mouth, biting and sucking on his oh-so-fucking-gorgeous lips, trailing a damp path and sucking down his chin, pausing at the base of his throat. He tested the flutter of a rapid pulse, sucking a small mark into the taut skin. He knew where each of Zach's hands were. One was scrabbling at the slick tiles for purchase and the other gripping tight on Ben's upper arm.

He knew that he was the only thing holding Zach up, and a shot of lust burned hot in Ben at what he had in him to hold this naked need in his trusted hands.

He lowered his hands again, resting them

momentarily on Zach's thighs, then up and under his backside, twisting him tight against him. Hungry, searching lips lowered to nipples, and he was pulling and teasing and drawing whimpers and moans from a blissed out Zach.

"Ben, we need to get out—"

"No," he said firmly. He pushed Zach flush against the tiles, his knees bending as he traveled farther down, 150

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kissing and biting at defined hip bones "So gorgeous, so hot, taste so good…" They were words with no meaning, interspersed with kisses and bites, Zach's hand falling from his arm and resting in Ben's short wet hair.

For his part, Ben could see Zach hard and flush

against his stomach and he couldn't resist a touch of his tongue to him. His knees solid now on the floor of the shower Ben's heated touch and the press of his mouth on Zach's sex anchored the younger man.

"Ben," he whimpered.

"I want to…" He wasn't above begging, so close.

He wanted it so much, wanted to taste what he had only touched before. Above him, Zach tried to speak, tried to push out words, but nothing made sense. He released a strangled moan as Ben kissed his way from base to tip, open-mouthed kisses, licking and sucking, closing his mouth over the tip and sliding down. Zach melted down against the tiles, a cry leaving his mouth, his hands twisting and gripping Ben's hair. Ben's name left him on gasping moans, a litany of prayer, asking for everything, unable to offer anything in return, incoherent and out of his head with pleasure.

Ben hollowed his cheeks, alternatively sucking and moving and releasing, only imagining what Zach was 151

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feeling, sensing his body moving, feeling him

unconsciously tipping his pelvis, thrusting deeper. Ben moved back slightly as his gag reflex kicked in. Next time he thought, in an image so erotic it took him to the edge, next time he was going to hold Zach's hips, hold him down so he couldn't move, hold him down on the bed with one hand, the other hand on his dick, pushing up as his lips traveled down, wringing every ounce of pleasure from his lover.

Zach stuttered above him, a warning, and Ben felt his lover's body tense, rising on his toes, trying to pull back, and he pulled off, Zach coming hot and hard against Ben's neck and onto his chest. It was singularly the hottest thing that had ever happened in Ben's life, and he was so fucking close, he stumbled to his feet, blood flowing to his legs, tingling with sensation. He grabbed at Zach's hands, pushing them up above his head, held still in his grip.

Zach was malleable and shaking in Ben's control,

still tight against him. Ben pushed close, finding the groove of a hip, rutting against him, his lips dragging final breathless kisses, Zach whimpering into his mouth. Ben could feel how close he was, on that desperate edge, waiting to topple over. He moved back from Zach, and the younger man leaned forward to chase the kisses, eyes open 152

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and wide and fixed on him, their heated breaths mingling, the water cooling his heated flesh.

"So fucking hot," Ben said fiercely.

He could see Zach trying to form words as, with a rush of white intensity, he finished, heat and fire in him as he slumped into Zach, releasing his hands and letting him hold him, gasping for breath in the afterglow.

"B—enn," was all Zach could get out, all he could force past swollen kissed lips.

"Bed," Ben replied, trying to push himself away from Zach, but not getting far.

"I can't move," Zach whined softly, biting down on Ben's neck and then worrying the small mark with his tongue. "You have to move for me."

Ben snorted, arching his neck as Zach continued a path of small bites and licks and sucks up his neck, pulling him in for a quick kiss. "Get your lazy ass to the bed. We aren't finished yet."

"Are you trying to kill me?" Zach asked, closing his eyes and leaning his head back against cool tile. Ben said nothing, simply wrapped a fluffy towel around his lover and bundled him back to the bedroom. Laughing softly, he guided the younger man to lie down.

"You will be the death of me," he told him. He 153

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settled down next to Zach and pulled him in for a hug, before turning back to his cell, thumbing through his contacts and connecting to his mom's number.

"I have Zach here with me, Mom," he explained. He gave nothing else away, listening as his mom warned him that Zach seemed upset and that Mark had left looking unsettled and worried.